adviseseeker Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Well for those of you who read my story at some point, it's kind of long and a whole bunch of things happened. I'll try to sum it up: - 2 year relationship, lived together 1.5, he's 25 I'm 23. We had a great relationship, never argued we just got along so well and had a great time. We talked about future plans and everything seemed great - He broke up with me mid October 2009 after previously talking about wanting a break. He was afraid of commitment, wanted to get some freedom, was stressed about money, wanted to see what else is out there, get his life together - probably many reasons which he didn't explain at the time he just left. - I was in shock...he changed his fb status to single that night so I packed up his stuff and made him get it the next day - shortly after he said he was 'confused' and wasn't sure if he wanted to break up or not, he said he needed some space - I didn't handle it very well, the first month I pushed and pushed, not so much begging but generally bugging him to see me and explain things. We saw each other a few times and he was very sweet, but he continually avoided me and I made things worse with contact. - In November we had a short-lived reconciliation initiated by me by confronting him, obviously didn't pan out too well and lasted a few days. I was hurt and felt used because he was mean and wanted more space - I barely talked to him in December and not even Christmas, just wished him a good break - In January we met up it was nice, then went sour shortly after with him being rude/immature. So I dropped off the last of his things and went NC - he was shaken by this and eventually wanted to get back together near the end of January saying he wanted to take things slow. He thanked me for giving him space - We would see each other once a week with hardly any contact in b/w, I expressed wanting to talk about things and I also hinted that I didn't want there to be too much of a physical aspect. Then just before valentine's day he disappeared - 2 weeks later he wanted to hang out, we did and it was nice. Then he dropped off the face of the earth again. I sent him one text a week later and got nothing back - I've been in NC for 5 weeks now (since that text) and total of 6 weeks since we've seen each other. Okay so I've been trying to do the 8 week challenge, I figured if he didn't contact me by then I could just move on with my life. I've been doing pretty good lately, getting on with my life and seeing friends. I've been feeling better but there are some nights where I just think about him. The past few nights I've cried a little bit before bed but I figured I was doing okay. I've been trying to stay away from this site because lately it seems like so many people are reconciling and I'm so jealous! Last night I thought about joining a dating site but this morning I realized that I'm just not ready at all and I'll wait a little while before I get out there again. Anyway, he just called me. I didn't answer, my heart was pounding the whole time and I was so confused. I had changed his name on my phone to being 'That A**clown' haha. I had to put 'That' first so it didn't show up at the top of my list. I figured if he ever sent me a text then I would read that and feel better, instead of just a number showing up. What is strange is that he just called me...he has not phoned me for a very long time. Even the last time we hung out over a month ago he texted me to see if I wanted to hang out. We didn't even talk on the phone, and haven't really talked on the phone for a while. I'm surprised that he didn't text first of all. He also left me a voice mail! It was cute actually...made me smile. He was fumbling and didn't know what to say, he said that we haven't talked in a while and he had been thinking of me the last couple of days. He said he's done school now, wanted to see what I was up to and asked if I could call him back. It's weird but it's also 1 pm on a Tuesday afternoon, but I guess he's done school and might not have any work today. So now I'm at a loss...it's been just about 6 months since we've broke up. I have been trying so hard to get over him but I just can't, I still love him so much and I miss him I don't know what to do, he hurt me pretty bad. He said he loved me and wanted to take it slow, and then he just disappeared. Last night I was thinking about all of his faults and couldn't deny that I thought all of them were cute. I have also thought really hard about whether I would try again, one side of me thinks that taking him back again would be disrespectful to myself. Out of principal I would feel stupid to open myself up again just to get hurt after. Then another part of me is still in love with him and knows it would work if he tried, we didn't really have any problems before and if he realized after being away for a while what he's lost he would appreciate me more and we could be really happy. A few things would have to change, but I'm willing to put in the work if he is because I think we could have a great life together. So I at least know that he would have to try pretty hard to win me back, I guess I just don't know what he really wants right now or what I should do! Do I call him back tomorrow? Sigh...I guess I'm looking for some input. extra info: - Not sure but I don't think he's had a rebound, he could have possibly dated or even slept with other women but he probably hasn't been in any kind of relationship since the break up (a short 1-2 month one is a possibility though) - He has been on a dating site but has changed his profile many times, now it doesn't even seem like a serious profile it's just there... Link to comment
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