GF keeps sharing stories from her past that make her look bad

[gravity]

So my GF keeps telling me stories about things she did before she met me, but often these stories make her come off like a terrible person.

 

Like sleep with her TA in college to get a better grade, dated a professor (same reason), or flirt with people to get what she wanted even though she thought they were "disgusting". Many involve her manipulating people sexually, but also involving throwing money around (her parents spoiled her pretty bad, and raised her even worse) and other irresponsible selfish behavior. It's also the manner in which she tells the stories, as if she doesn't see a problem with behaving in that way.

 

I've told her I don't want to hear stories like that, and that they make her look bad, and to look at it from others perspective, at which point she usually get's embarrassed. I understand most of these stories happened when she was going through a tough time in her life, struggling with bi-polar. While I tell myself not to read to much into this I still can't help but judge her a little bit each time.

 

Anyone else dealt with this?

[vertigoxo]

Run. Run very, very fast and far away from this girl. Unless she's changed and it's been a while since she's behaved this badly, I would take your heart while it's not in the relationship 100% and split.

[In the Dark]

It would raise suspicion that she could also be just using you for some reason.

[MandyJade]

She sounds kind of immature and unprofessional.

[Jd1983]

How long have you been with her?

 

Has she shown that she has changed from the stories of her past? Everyone has a past, and there's nothing that you can do about it to change that. However, the choice is yours to make on whether or not she is worth your time.

[DN]

Have you asked why she feels compelled to share these stories with you?

[Taikero]

It could be she's telling you these things because she's trying to open up and be honest with you. Maybe she wants to see how you'll react. Maybe she wants to discuss her past with you. This is all important stuff you should definitely know about her if you're looking to go forward in your relationship.

 

You're not accepting her as she is, so the question is, do you want her for who she is, no matter what the stories may be? It's not about whether or not she "looks bad", that's who she is and was. If you can't accept her, why be with her?

 

If not, you should get out now because the relationship is pointless if you have to be lied to in order to accept her.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There was an article on ENA regarding how to tell if a person is "a loser". This is one of the red flags. People telling you stories about themself that make them look bad and yet they seem to be proud of what they have done. Most of the people I have seen who are not nice people, are very proud of bullying and using others and will often brag about it. Run far away from this person...she is telling you what her true personality is.

[mandyc]

Maybe she is also telling them to brag a little? Maybe she wants you to know how attractive other people find her and to make you feel lucky you're with her or something? It just sounds like she is almost bragging. I had a bf who would always tell me stories about how women of all ages would "want him". He said he even had a friends mom come onto him. As the relationship progressed he stopped telling me these things. I figured it was just his way of trying to impress me.

[vertigoxo]

There was an article on ENA regarding how to tell if a person is "a loser". This is one of the red flags. People telling you stories about themself that make them look bad and yet they seem to be proud of what they have done. Most of the people I have seen who are not nice people, are very proud of bullying and using others and will often brag about it. Run far away from this person...she is telling you what her true personality is.

 

This!

 

You're dating a female loser, OP. Run run run!

[gravity]

Thanks for the replies guys. To answer some questions, it's actually been two years we've been together. I was stupid and definitely ignored some red flags in the beginning, and now It's getting to the point that I feel the need to make a decision to either stay or move on she's looking at grad schools on the other coast, and wants me to move with her.

 

For some reason I tend to date "crazy/broken" girls, I end up seeing the best in them. I tend to play the role of psychologist and help them move beyond their problems. This one's problem is her messed up home life (a bunch of manipulators, all trying to get more than their share,. they've been telling her she was crazy/unable to care for herself since a young age. All lies, she's actually very capable when she forgets she's supposed to be mentally ill). She realizes this and has actually been working hard to help herself grow and become independent.

 

I guess I just need to make up my mind.

 

thanks again you guys. It's always cool to come here and get some opinions. Even if I can't always find an answer I always leave with a much more objective outlook.

[monkeygirl12]

Ive known tons of girls like this, and 90% of the time the reason for this bizarre behavior is that they are attention seekers. They have lacked some form of affection or have gone through some emotional trauma that causes them to feel the need for attention, not their fault but they create this pattern of unstable crazy behavior that includes doing things someone would consider morally wrong but to them its not a biggie, because they tend to act out of impulse..so those things "JUST HAPPEN!!" to them (her).

 

 

I could be wrong......

[savagegirl]

There was an article on ENA regarding how to tell if a person is "a loser". This is one of the red flags. People telling you stories about themself that make them look bad and yet they seem to be proud of what they have done. Most of the people I have seen who are not nice people, are very proud of bullying and using others and will often brag about it. Run far away from this person...she is telling you what her true personality is.

 

Yeah this is so totally true and I wish I had this piece of information back when I was dating some prime losers!