Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[healingishard]

i know u dont love me. i know u dont miss me. i know u hate me. but i love u and i miss u more than u know, more than u can imagine. and im so tired of feeling like this. i dont want to hurt anymore.

god, please help me. im ready to move on and forget the past. i dont want this man in my mind nor in my heart any longer. please give me the strength to press forward and release this pain.

[surfjon]

Damn.......

 

Why, just why did I choose to listen to Bill Evans version of "My Foolish Heart" today....when I'm sooooo depressed about things other than you, but when I get down.....my heart and mind inevitably turn to missing you, even after all these years...., I shoulda known it would trigger the need for a bourbon on the rocks.....

 

Nearly 8 years ago you bailed on me, the first 2 years I tried to slowly kill myself with alcohol, cocaine and new women...

The next 5 I spent with someone I grew to love nearly as much as you, who simply just "faded-away", never really ending things, just leaving me to languish.

 

I hate you, I hate her....I hate all you women.

 

I choose now to live my life alone and solitary, I refuse to let any woman into my life again........

 

I gave all I could, but never good enough for any of you.......

 

This man wil never be abused or taken for a stooge by your types ever again.........

[3Tears]

Why are you calling me every night, why are you walking all over me? and why do I let you do this to me... what are you doing?!

[healingishard]

this NC stuff is hard. i just wanna get in ur head and make u realize what u gave up on. she may love you but not like i could. what kind of woman doesnt care about fidelity? obviously she doesnt value you and clearly cheats on you more than you are aware of. you threw true love away because you were scared...you live with that.

[healingishard]

i dont know how much more of this i can take. i hurt, i cry. i hurt, i cry. i love you. isn't that worth anything? i would give my life for you, i would give anything to see you smile. i would cherish you. i guess that my life isn't about finding someone to love. so what is there for me? bcuz obviously love isn't in my future...not the love i hoped for anyway. i dont know what I'm supposed to be looking for?

[dansmi12345]

I still remember the day you hurt me the most. The time I really knew it would be over, even though we didn't actually break up for a week after that. I wonder why that sticks out in my head more than everything else.

[Hazyillusions]

I still miss you =(

[RougeQueen]

Hmm, odd. I came to this thread with the intention of posting a pain-filled rant about the trials of broken love and whatnot. But when I saw the cursor flashing, waiting for me to spill my guts all over the screen, I realized that I'm not hurting enough over us being done to make it worth the effort.

 

Very odd indeed, wouldn't you say?

 

A 6 year relationship down the tubes and I can't muster up enough pain to make it worth the effort of getting it out. Maybe I'm just being smug right now? I don't know. I'm sure at some point I will miss you and shed a few lonely tears, but right now,in this moment, I'm just...relieved that I've finally removed your complicating presence from my life. No more lies! Whoopee!

 

And since I will no longer be speaking to you, I figure I should say this here since you won't be hearing it from me anywhere else:

 

GOODBYE.

[t1lersm0m1]

You don't think I have a right to be angry with you but I beg to differ.

 

For six months we had a great relationship. Except for the sex things were perfect. We never fought our caused each other jealousy or anything. We are both secure, good people who had a great time together.

 

Then I filled you in on what was going on with my mom. I kept you on the dark because being the adult child of an alcoholic I learned to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, and to deal with things on my own. Also add part of my upbringing we keep secrets when it comes to the family and its dysfunction. I never maliciously hurt you.

 

But then you turned your back on me. I said I'm willing to fight for you and this relationship,c why aren't you willing to fight for me? Your reply was if I knew there was going to be a fight I wouldn't have gotten involved with you. So our break up was due to nothing I did wrong but still you ended it.

 

Another thing I said in anger but now I feel is true...I said before I could provide an easy life to you, now I can no longer do that. You want a nice easy life where there are no struggles. Well I say to you good luck with that. And good luck finding a woman like me.

 

I never understood why our relationship lacked passion until you confessed to me that day you would be better off not being here. That is such a profound statement to make. You were ok with our lack of passion because you have no passion for life. How could you be passionate about me, or willing to fight for this relationship, if you are better off not being alive.

 

Then you got angry with me and said I am taking a small part of a conversation. No matter the context in which you made that statement, it doesn't change the meaning. You think you would be better off not being alive.

 

It explains why you were ok with mediocre sex. How did you not know the sex was bad? I tried talking to you about it but you had several excuses.

 

You are broken. I can't be with you because I'd want to fix you...fixing people is something I try to do as a codependent person. But I have to let go of trying to fix people.

 

Good bye rich. I couldn't love you because I didn't know the real you. I actually pity you for the way you see the world.

[hrdcore1337]

I'm not a doormat anymore.

 

 

[healingishard]

i just hope that someday you may find it in your heart to forgive me.

[spazmy]

why are you so afraid? Why did you not meet when you were supposed to? Do you fear me? Do you think I would have come in the way of your career? Or is it a matter of convenience?

[dansmi12345]

What do you actually want to talk about? Why do you keep contacting me?

[ckwalker]

I miss you so much, do you miss us, do you even think about us.

[t1lersm0m1]

Dear Rich,

 

You came into my life for a reason. And that reason was an amazing one. I dated you knowing my mother would struggle with our relationship, knowing it would cause conflict. I had no idea how escalated everything would become, but dating and losing you forced me to realize I need to get out on my own with Tyler. And I realize I am capable of taking care of us. I'm making grown up decisions, decisions I really would rather not make, but I'm making them.

 

One of the things you said was that I talked about moving out in December, and next thing you knew I was buying a timeshare. And it may seem foolish that I did that, but I am actually making a profit from it this year by renting it out. It's providing me an income. And that income will help me support Tyler and me.

 

I never realized how damaged you are. You never told me until after we broke up. And then it made me realize later the entire reason for our lack of passion. I loved you, but I wasn't happy. There were severe problems with our intimicy. I tried talking to you about it several times, but you didn't do anything to change it.

 

Part of me moved out hoping you and I would get back together. Now that I know that's not going to happen, I realized you entered my life for a reason. To force me to stand up to my mother, say enough is enough, and move out.

[healingloner]

I have so much hate inside me now. All the love I ever wasted for you has turned into hate. But it's burning me inside. I wish God's wrath will fall on you someday. I wish you get back every bit of pain you have caused me. Laugh and smile now. Smile. You will cry one day. You will face miseries. I had felt sorry when I heard from a friend that your brother has got leukaemia. I wish you having the same blood suffer the same fate. Die. Just die. Vanish from the face of this Earth. Because you do not deserve to live after what you have done to me. Die. I hate you. I hate you. Oh. There is a special place in Hell for people like you. Die. You traitor. If it was in my hands I would make sure you never existed. Your very sick existence makes me feel why did I waste so much time on you and so much resources. Yes you have found someone new. I wish you suffer misery. Both of you. I hope you never get a job, I hope you get hit by a car in an accident. You are filth. You are the reason they call the Devil. Your whole existence is satanic. Oh how I would like to get revenge. I will. I will live such a nice life, do so much with my career you. you filth, you will regret everything. I hope all of your family and you suffer for all the pain you have caused me. I felt sorry for your brother. But no after your attitude I think your whole family deserves it. I am sending out this message to the universe. If there is a just God.. all praises to him, you will be living in Hell, no late. Amen!

[healingloner]

My email to you was a mistake. I actually considered you something worthwhile. Like a true genuine person. But thank you for not replying. Thank you for doing all you have done. Hate you. Why did I waste so much time on you. Anyways I believe in KARMA and it will get you my ex. Karma will soon catch up. The universe has strange ways of getting revenge on people like you. If there is a God you will suffer. I curse you from a broken heart, from a person who has seen a loved one's death recently from a person who survived and beat alchoholism and addiction. I curse you. You will be penniless. You food, all your pom and glamour will fade my disgusting ex. Oh the venom I feel. I am letting you go. I am letting you go. Thank God there is a place like this ENA. Thank God for the thread. You betrayer. You goldigger. No no no. Letting go. I am letting you go. You never never never deserved me. I was a fool, a fool to be in Love. Love does not exist in your dictionary. You used me. And I remember your behavious on Valentines Day on the day when she passed away. You are a cruel woman. You are cold, cruel and you belong to hell. O God, why this pain. I had only wanted love. God please help me live my life well and erase this devil from my mind. She had consumed me. I want to be pure once again. Pure like Love. My conception of love cannot be tainted by this one woman. I love you God. Love me back God. I pray to you. Give me some peace. Karma will have a way on you Miss M. Just wait. Karma takes in everyone.

[IAmFCA]

Had one of those moments today when I realized I miss the passion of you. I miss your talents with language, music, aviation, math, medical issues. You bring alot to the table.

 

Dating you is like dating a vortex, and everyone gets sucked into it.

 

Incredibly unhealthy.

 

I applaud my health.

 

I could easily say to you "I want to see you." And it would be like looking at heroin. You are not attractive, you are not available, but if I said I want to see you and you showed, it would be sparks, shorting wires, the smell of burning wire, it would be flammable, it would be on. The high. The high and then the fall to Earth, and the recovery, wherein my body tries to forget yours.

 

No, I can not see you. Ever, perhaps. Dump your wife, hold a job for an extended period of time, maintain a therapeutic relationship with a professional, and show me a transparent life. Then call me and keep me.

 

Getting effed by men is not gay; for you, its just a way of inviting self-abuse. You are self-destructive in a most effective and unusual way. I wish you well, and I wish you light.

[TheOutsider1]

It's been a little over two months of no contact now. This has been the longest that I have gone without contacting him. I was always the one to contact him first cuz I missed him too much. I'm sure he thought I'd go back again, like always. He got too used to me being the one to go after him, to put most of the effort in. But this last time, I found out about the "cheating" and that alone should be a reason for me to not ever contact him again. I keep waiting for an apology that may never come and it's been quite hard getting use to not having him around anymore. I hope that I can continue to remain strong and not give in. I've done good so far in staying away. And I have hope that time really will heal my broken heart. How does it feel to not have me do all the work now? I hope it will feel like a punch in the face to know that I have lasted this long without contacting you, because deep down, you might still think that I'll contact you. One day at a time.

[janut1]

Dear X,

 

I walked around knowing that if I said anything about things that bothered me, you would leave! You just could not communicate with me. At at your age, you would think that you would be mature enough to talk about certain things and work through them, but NO not going to happen!!!

 

You have hurt me beyond words by the hot/cold way you have been acting. You ruined my daughters graduation with your constant texts about my X and being with him and telling me I should just forget about you and on and on! IT was all about you that day. I was a terribly stressful day because of that. I was EXHAUSTED by it all. Then you say I miss and love you and I thought you meant it... but two weeks later you tell me to find someone else... huh? Stupid me I fell for it. I feel used now, like you just kept in contact and came over last saturday to get S@@ knowing you wouldn't see me again for a long time. Every time you said you were coming over after that, you would back out, saying you had this or that to do.

 

It took me a long time to fall in love with you because you are not my type, there were red flags that I chose to ignore, including some serious issues in the BR...but you won me over and your looks, and age didn't matter to me any longer. I loved you for you, not for anything else. I would of done anything to support you, I was in this 100% obviously you were not... I realized that if you really loved me that you would not say you are done every other week. Its way too much drama.

 

I hate that I caught you in lies, that I found you on Christian Mingle when we were together, I hate that I just looked past that and kept going believing your lies. You tell you son and daughter things about me that aren't even true, which makes you look good and me like the terrible women who messed you up. ALL NOT TRUE!!! I hate that they think badly of me when I did nothing to earn that.

 

I'm sooo angry that I let you into my life! My kids life, my families life. Im angry that I didn't see the clues and follow my intuition at the beginning to just let it go before it got to this point... I am sooo not ok with any of this! Uggh, I wish I never met you now!

[3Tears]

I feel so broken without you, how could I let you have so much power over me... why did I fall in love so deeply with you. Ever since we started talking they said you were trouble but I liked you so much that I couldn't stop talking to you... 2 years later here we are, you broke me and just left, like I never meant anything... thanks a lot.

[xplorationgt]

Alexia,

 

How did we come to this? Why did you say yes to being my GF and only end up dumping me a few days later over a small argument? I treated you so well and all you want is to be single and have fun. How can you be so cold blooded and have no sympathy whatsoever?

 

It hurts me so much today when I'm asking you what your true intentions are with me and to tell you about NC. You didn't care one bit. I wish you can grow up and see what you are missing out. I refuse to be your safety net, your fallback, your plan B. You had placed me from a lover into a friend zone. That's something I can't do and I don't want to be there when you are with another guy. It'll feel like a train just ran through me! I'll miss you dearly...

[Sadlady]

i finally did NC on social media yesterday to my ex and all his family and friends...and then he text...and I replied. We went back and forth for about an hour and he was asking how I am and how were my kids. That he missed us and me. Loves me and misses me. Now today I am wrecked. I have been staring at his texts all night and day...wondering if I should text gain and restart the convo. I know I shouldn't. I know we are toxic when we are together. But I miss him so much. I miss telling him everything about my day good and bad. I miss hearing him complain about his job or about the new workout plan he was planning.... I seem to only miss all the good stuff...only remember all the good stuff... but I know the reality. I literally had the phone in my hand and jumped on here...to stop myself. I just want to forget..but at the same time I don't .

[HappyGal78]

Today has been a really hard one for some reason. I can't turn my mind off thinking about you. I picture how you could so warmly smile at me. The way it felt to have someone want me so completely. The way it felt to be needed. I keep thinking I might run into you at Target, so I've been avoiding shopping there. I don't know what I would do if I saw you. The thought makes me sad. And ill. Some minutes I'm so secure that dumping you was the exact right thing to do, but when I start to feel the pain of being without you it makes me want to try and reconnect somehow. But I know that you knew, too... we never had a future together. We could have probably kept dating, just having our weekends together, having fun. Until you yell at me. Or until I ask you to do something with my family. And then we would fight again. I owe it to myself to find someone who loves me for me, and is willing to make sacrifices for me. Someone who shares my same basic values, who doesn't live with a defeatist mentality. Someone who is polite and kind to others, who doesn't get off on humiliating people. But still... I wonder if you have already contacted your ex-girlfriend. I never did quite understand how you could date someone for 7 years and split simply because you didn't want to be a part of her dream career. You jump from relationship to relationship. One month after splitting with your ex of 7 years, you were dating another woman. And 5 months later when you dumped her, you were already online looking for love. Then you found me. I don't think you ever really gave yourself the chance to get over your ex. You talked about her all the time. I always felt inferior somehow. And I picture you moving to be with her now, to restart your future together. And I know its not even my business anymore. But I don't want you to forget me that quickly. Because I am still thinking about you. And I wish I could stop, but I can't.

[Damien17]

I how dare you give up on me, on us. I gave everything, and you gave up. While I was still trying when you told me there was no hope. You were with another guy. Yet I still tried, you even let in. You got back with me, then you left again. You told me that night were okay, were together forever again. That same innight you left me. You img went. Again. Now you've left me in ing picices, I love you sigh all my img heart and what the do I get in return. Nothing, nothg in at ing all. I derseve ing better p, I don't even know why the I love you. Go ing yourself