Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Lightning87]

I had a dream about you last night. That you were back with your ex. It hurt like a * * * * * but I woke up okay this morning...time is helping me heal...

[northpickle]

Hey.

 

Just felt an urge to write to you tonight. To be truthful, it's been a very weak but wavering urge for a couple of weeks now, but every time I sat with this thread open reading other people's heartbreak, feeling for them, remembering what it's like to be that upset, confused. Having your heart ripped out basically) I couldn't really get my words together.

 

Where are we now then? 7 months after breaking up. 4 months of no contact. I'm over you in the sense that I don't pine for you, miss you, think about what you're doing. I'm with someone else who is a much better match for me in most ways. I'm so much more comfortable around him. It's a much more sexual relationship. He's much more down to earth, he puts me as a priority. And he actively gives a damn about my little girl.

 

The last thing I ever want to do is compare my boyfriend to you, and I don't particularly. I measure things personally, how I feel, what makes me happy. And he does make me happy! He certainly adds something special to my life. I think back to the last few weeks of our relationship, months maybe? How I used to wake up in the middle of the night, lots on my mind, find it hard to get back to sleep, you sleeping with your back to me, and how I didn't want to snuggle up behind you in case you rejected me in some way, or thought I was being "too pushy". Ugh! That's not right, is it?

 

So what was it about you? I don't think I'll ever know that. You didn't treat me badly, you just didn't treat me right.

 

And although I haven't seen you since October and haven't heard from you at all since December, the past few weeks you've skirted around the fringes of my life a little bit. Maybe why that's why I'm writing to you...

 

I saw some photos a friend posted of you online - it didn't hurt one bit however. You were wearing the same favourite tatty outfit you wore all the time, out walking in the country with a mutual friend. Plus another day you approached my friend you barely know for a bit of chit chat whilst she was waiting as a bus stop. We chuckled a bit about that But she didn't mention me and neither did you.

 

So onwards I go with you far, far behind. I don't want to know what you are up to, whether you're still with that girl you started seeing just after we broke up. But if I do hear anything I know it won't hurt. I'm just staying a stranger.

[CoeurdePirate]

Dear Best Friend,

 

I wasn’t expecting the tears. My stomach is in knots because I miss you already. I don’t know why I thought it would be easy to end our friendship but the universe quickly set me straight. I was up until 2:00 am last night, sitting at my piano, playing my guitar and looking at your photo on my Life Wall. I’m going to have to take it down. If I’m going to have any chance with T2, I need to show him that I’m in it 100%. The coward in me just wanted to run and never speak to you again in order to avoid the hurt that I knew was coming. But I owe you so much more than that so please view what I did, and how I did it, as the only way I knew how to say thank you and to show my unending love and respect for you. I feel I missed the mark though, and for that I’m deeply apologetic. I’m always far more brilliant after the fact.

 

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. I know you do. And I need you to know that I do too. While I don’t believe it’s possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met, you and I have a unique bond that I will cherish for the rest of my life, regardless of where this life takes me.

 

The problem is that somewhere between our laughs, our long talks, our silly little fights and all of our jokes, I developed feelings. I knew better, and so this is my cross to bear and my burden to shoulder. I’m just sorry that it had to impact you too. I’m not disillusioned by the situation we’re in - we stuck to each other like glue for 3 years but I always knew subconsciously that it would have to end somewhere and it would probably be painful. That, coupled with the distance between us, was enough for me to be realistic about the idea of “us”, which is why I’ve carried on as your stalwart friend all this time. I love you, but I’m not in love with you. You love me, but you’re not in love with me. It seems that this equation would naturally result in an ongoing platonic friendship but T2 doesn’t see it that way. He sees me settling for him because there was never any possibility of you. He sees me professing my love for him every day, but wishing it was your face I was saying it to. He sees me living out my life with him as the next best available thing, as opposed to my first choice. Maybe he’s right. I don’t think I’ve allowed myself to process things that deeply, but just the fact that he’s said as much is reason for me to sit up and take notice. I found out a few days ago that he’s been going to counseling since we broke up in order to work on himself and prove that he’s committed to me. He’s given me a laundry list of his faults and his plans to work on them. The only fault he identified of mine is you. He’s working hard to be what I need; I have to do the same for him. If his only request is that I let you go so I can explore my true feelings for him, I feel it’s a request I need to entertain. I love you, but “I love you’s” should be seen and not heard, because actions speak louder than words. There’s nothing more I can do to show you, but there is something more I can do to show T2 and unfortunately that means letting you go. I think you know its better this way.

 

That said, I know that God doesn’t give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need to help you, hurt you, leave you or love you so you can become the person you were meant to be. You’ve played such a critical role in shaping who I am today. The thought before every word is you. The breath before every note I sing is you. The words that move from my heart to my pen to my page are you. I’m going to miss just knowing you’re there. Every random thought that enters my head ends up before your eyes. You are the best version of me.

 

Thank you for the lovely goodbye. In some ways it made it harder, but ultimately you made a very difficult job very easy for me and that’s simply another testament to the person you are. Thank you for your open offer of a no questions asked support system. I hope I never have to take you up on it but I’m so grateful that you would even consider having me back if I needed it. You entered my life as a spark and that spark was enough to set me ablaze. Your presence became the soundtrack of my life and I’ll continue to live your song until my heart plays its final beat.

 

I’ve realized that future dreams can never last when you find yourself living in the past. But if you never stop when you wave goodbye, you just might find, if you give it time, that you can wave hello again. So until then, puppy…

 

Don’t stop fishing, but start eating fish. Remember me when Nate plays. Use the MF word all the time. Write. Please write. It doesn’t matter what you write, who you write it to, or if anyone ever sees it. Just write. Learn to play the guitar even if you only take one lesson. I’ll be with you the whole time, just listen for me. Dominate Monopoly. Ease up on the passive aggression. I know you can do it. Eat even more Mexican food. Don’t ever give up your elf stuff. Think of me when you see a giraffe. Buy a duvet and a duvet cover, already. Go see the Rodin museum and Poe’s house. Don’t give up on Penguin Olympics. Keep smiling. I adore your smile. Back off of the mozzarella fries. Travel. Travel a lot and do it soon. Be nice to Canadians. Kiss Nero. And Play Crack the Sky.

[Love1336]

I almost broke NC today.

I saw your friend on facebook.

I was going to message her, and ask "How's Jonathan?"

But... blah. I couldn't bare the news she would give me. It would break me in half and I would end up back on square one again.

Someday, I'll be strong and will ask, but for now. I'll be working on me.

[MissieP]

Sigh.... I am thinking about you again ( why,why?) Baseball season is starting up again and I remember when we used to watch Mets ( my team) and Pittsburgh ( your team) I always remembered how much you promised me you would take me to a pittsburgh game and I so wanted to go because it would be a little getaway and a road trip at the same time and here I am thinking about you and wondering if you are going to take her to a game. I would be heartbroken I am not going to sugarcoat it and say yes we are broken up whatever who cares get over it. Yes I am getting over it everyday slowly but with the baseball season starting back up it's hard for me not to think about you and remembering how many times you promised a game to me and remembering the good times we had watching the games at the sports bar. I know you can do whatever you want with her and it's not my problem anymore but honestly do you expect me not to obsess and think I bet he's taking her to games since she's sooooo freaking perfect. Ugh why does this week make me so bitter? Work is draining me;(

[rhythm09]

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to forgive, mend, and improve myself. I wish it didn't have to be a break-up for me, or you, to understand what we needed to do for ourselves. I'm sorry for the way I acted during that week after the BU. I bet I lost some dignity in your eyes, but I hope you don't really see me that way.

 

I don't know what you're doing now or how well/bad your new relationship is, but I want you to know that you hurt me a great deal for not taking the time to figure things out ON YOUR OWN instead of dragging someone else into your problems. At least out of some form of "honor" of our 6yr relationship. But, actions speak louder than words, and since I'm doing surprisingly well by myself without you in my life while you had to jump into another "relationship" because I'm sure you didn't want to be alone or wanted to replace me to forget me, tells me you're just as immature as always.

 

It's been one month since our BU and it may or may not be too soon, but I've come to the realization that I want someone who doesn't lie and is completely honest with me. I haven't done anything to hurt you in the extent you hurt me. I don't deserve this.

So, thanks again for giving me time to find myself to re-establish my self-respect. I hope to find a guy who will treat me right someday.

 

I know I'll love again, but first I'm going to iron out my problems. Maybe you should have followed my example.

 

Still, no ill-will on my part. My sincerest hopes that you will be happy.

[Emma8]

Thinking of you constantly. Why cant you get out of my mind!! I doubt im in yours. 5 months soon. Time has gone so fast. This time last year we went to Thorpe Park,you bought me the massive bunny for easter (might burn it later....grrr). Such an amazing day. This time last year I was the happiest I had ever been.

 

I still cant forget what you were like and deep down I know you werent right for me. Doesnt stop me loving you. Im crazy, I have to be, to love someone who gave me nothing.

 

Happy Easter bebe. I wont get to say that to you this year, but I will be thinking of you every second of every day.

[Lightning87]

Ah sh*t, you broke NC. Not that we had agreed on NC but I had. Now I'm sitting here not knowing if to reply or not. Although, it does feel nice having some control(?) again...

[Lisabroken]

Ah sh*t, you broke NC. Not that we had agreed on NC but I had. Now I'm sitting here not knowing if to reply or not. Although, it does feel nice having some control(?) again...

 

Same

 

A tiny bit of control feels nice

[stonecutters93]

Dreamt about you again last night, I wish it would stop, all it does is remind me of the cycle I go through of how much I hate you one day and how much I loved you another day. I've come to realize you weren't right for me, you changed me in ways that I didn't like, and now spend every day trying to fix. Why couldn't you just love me for who I was? Instead we're 3 months of no talking, complete strangers and it seems like it's going to stay that way. You were my "best friend". But funny how you can't remember all the stuff I did for you, but remember the one small mistake I made and never forgive me for it. That's why I had to leave, you didn't want a relationship and you made me feel like you didn't even want to be friends anymore. What did I have left to fight for?

 

I wish you well, but a part of me hopes I never see you again, just so I don't have to experience any more pain you brought me after all this time.

[Fraggle]

Whether you think it or not I will be thinking of you over Easter and the more I think about thing the more I want to talk to you about what happened rather than letting 9 years slip away, but I did ask you on numerous occasions that this is what you wanted and it appeared to be the case, is this still the case? I can't be sure and I don't know if you'll ever ask me either? I'll give it some more time, but if you don't have the courage to ask, then maybe I have to pluck up the courage....

 

Have a good Easter

[HopefulNessie]

The longer I'm at work, the more I wish I could reach out to you. It's not a good day at the office and we always texted each other cute things throughout the day. I really miss that. I miss the cute MMS you'd send and hearing about your day. I miss sharing my things with you. I miss telling you updates and news. I miss us laughing together at some of the silly stuff your friends post on FB. I miss our nicknames. I have let go of you as best as I can and I respect your decision and will keep NC like you requested. It is hard, I hurt, but I will stay strong for me and for you. But most of all for me. I know you hurt too, even though you're not showing it as much as me. I wish you happiness and love and joy and I hope you have a great weekend and that you spend some time at the park with Diesel

[mines]

Oh my god. Seriously.

 

You wanted to come over tomorrow. Sure, we're on the same page, as to why. And we are both cool with that. But one comment that I make, while flirting with you, and you turned it into a 13 email EPIC.....what are you thinking? Nothing has changed, it was meant to be an ego boost to you. Seriously? I was trying to make you feel good about yourself, because you admit to me, that you don't see what any woman sees in you.

 

Jesus. What a piece of work. I'm a 48 year old woman, not some GD 20 yr old girl that needs drama, or hand holding. Clearly, you're not mature or secure enough to handle me.

 

You are on, you're off. Take a year away, then you're back again, telling me you 'd never stopped wanting me. I spent all day answering your questions on email, trying to assure you I don't want drama, I'm not mad at anyone especially not you (since I want to get you in bed) and....I was joking in my comment. Are you delusional? I know you don't use drugs, but seriously.......is your seeming insecurity a front for self-grandiosity?

 

I am done with you. F off. You're worth about 20 minutes and that's it. Get over yourself.

[HopefulNessie]

I'm so tempted to reach out to the mutual friend (more his friend than time) through whom we met...but I know that is stupid. It will bring me nothing but grief....

[Wildflower88]

You are getting married next week and I'm happy for you.. thank you for helping me see that things would have never worked out between us. I'm thankful that you arent the father of my child and that we arent together still making eachother miserable. I wish you so much happiness, so much luck and so much love.. I hope this is what you have always wanted.. you have my blessing, even if you dont want it.. almost 3 years have passed.. and I barely recall your embrace.. I'll never forget you though.. may you live happily every after..

[DeenasRhino]

I emailed you on your birthday but you no reply. Oh well. Hope all is going well in your life.

[NANNYSTUDENT]

, YOU. running around with a high schooler when you are 24. seriously???????? SERIOUSLY???? is this real life? do you remember all the years we shared? how you cried? begged me not to leave? told me to wait for you? to wait for what? for you to around with someone 7 years younger than you? and a year older than your little sister? this is not you. WHAT HAPPENED to the person I used to know? the person that slept on my chest? the person who spent christmas mornings with me. the person who knew all my fears. where did you go? you got scared? or so you claim. well guess what I hope you enjoy what you have started. I can't tell if this will last. and I am terrified. because I really really loved you. I just hope someday you understand that. because right now you have ripped my heart out of my chest and have been allowing life to take the life right out of me and I HATE you for it. you will never ever understand.

[Lightning87]

Was nice to speak to you last night and hear you being so over me. Felt like being dumped all over again...thanks for that.

[backatone]

I don't get it. I lay it out simple and easy for you. You decline. We run into each other. It's written all over your face that you are just not happy. I see it, everyone sees it. Why can't you?

[Lisabroken]

So we have taken time apart to WORK OUT what we both want. I know what i want, i want you. I'm afraid this time apart will make you see that you never want to be with me. I know deep down if that is the case you were never going to be mine. I just wish i didn't love you so much. I'm afraid of loosing you.

[kittycat12]

Well what can I say? still feel the same wondering how you're doing... I miss your random calls just to tell me you love me.. I miss your texts and your emails.. your presents that you gave me for no absolute reason..just because you wanted to make me smile.. all those times near the end when I was a total B**** and you would come back home with a surprise for me..always wanting to make me happy.. and I only realise now how special it was... I miss you so much I wish you can forgive me...

I truly hope I was special... you said you'd get a tattoo of my face on your arm so you could always look at me..get my name tattooed... you wanted all of my pictures you kept one in your wallet and looked at it... you put some in the ipod I bought you and looked at them when you missed me too much... you had my tank top and my vest around your pillow so you could hold it when I wasn't there because you couldn't sleep without me... man I feel so stupid to realise this only after the breakup.. i'd like another chance... i'd like to go back and savour each minute I spent with you... I would wake up earlier and go to the computer because I was stupid.. man I regret doing this if only I could go back and lay on you like we used to do...everynight before spooning you wanted me to lay on your chest just a bit.. you needed it.. when we were close we were never close enough... I remember all this now... I wish you could too I mean she must be great and all but please remember me...I miss you

I'm so scared

[Gambino]

I cant believe that everything you told me was a lie. I feel like I've wasted the last 2.5 years of my life by living a sham. I cant believe that you could carry on an emotional affair and then dump me while Im deployed! You are such a coward for blaming me for pushing you to the brink of your being and dumping me through an email. After everything I've done for you, I deserved to be told face to face. I cant believe you cheated on me at the end, then lied to me about it and told all of my friends that it was my fault for the break up. Im trying to forgive you, but its so hard to wrap my mind about how sick, twisted and manipulative you really are.

[blueplanet22]

I flippin hate you. I hope you are miserable as hell. I hope you have gotten fatter and drowning your sorrows in booze. You are a future faker and a commitment phobe, its pathetic, and I feel so sorry for your next victim and the one after that. Your right you are damaged goods and a liar and ruin anything good that happens in your life, perhaps you should try working on yourself, pleb.

[Mario043]

Were things really as bad as you made them out to be? I treated you with honesty, respect and kindness. Yes, I made some mistakes, but I had no idea how much they affected you. Had you only communicated to me how hurt you were, and what you needed, I would have done anything for you..

 

I think of you constantly and I am so lonely for you and still hurting so, so deeply..

[Love1336]

I stop crying about you. It's been three days, no tears.

 

I want to break NC only because I still miss you so much.

But I know... it will backfire, and I'll end up feeling regret.

i'll have to start alllll over again with my emotions.

I have to be strong. I have to let you go...