backatone

12:00. Happy Birthday.

10 years of my life. I hate that everything is linked to you. EVERYTHING remind me of you. While pleasant memories, bittersweet. Though I hope this is not true....no girl will ever compare. It's been just about a year. I hope life is treating you well. I still love you.

I gave you the best for over 9 years. Everything you ever needed. I was your emotional rock when you felt you couldnt do it on your own. Where are you now that I need you? All of this seems so unfair. You're done school, starting a life that you always told me I was to be a part of. Where am I? How does it change so quickly? The plans you said you thought about so much? Why is it that everything you ever said seems now to be a lie. I stayed true to everything I said I'd do. I didn't ask you to promise the things you did. If this was a lesson I was supposed to learn, why did it take almost 10 years to learn it? How do you bounce back from this?

So I saw you yesterday. You don't look so confident and happy as you were when you left. It felt good to FINALLY ignore your crumbs. I know you're wondering why I did not respond to your text message. I know you're wondering why I looked so happy even though you were in the room. I'm happy to say that I feel better. I see my value and what little you gave. I smiled today. I may cry tonight. Either way....I know what I have to do. I would prefer to do it all with you. But I can do it all.....without you. I guess I want to thank you for letting me realize my potential. ----Why do I want to delete everything I just wrote?

i love you. i miss you.

I don't get it. I lay it out simple and easy for you. You decline. We run into each other. It's written all over your face that you are just not happy. I see it, everyone sees it. Why can't you?