Mario043

Were things really as bad as you made them out to be? I treated you with honesty, respect and kindness. Yes, I made some mistakes, but I had no idea how much they affected you. Had you only communicated to me how hurt you were, and what you needed, I would have done anything for you.. I think of you constantly and I am so lonely for you and still hurting so, so deeply..

What upsets me is the fact that I didn't get my day in court. You made your decision and DID NOT allow me to speak my mind. You put up a wall of anger and selfish immaturity. Because YOU were finished talking, that was all that mattered. You shut down every attempt I made to reach out to you and I turned myself into a pleading, needy fool. You turned into a cold b**ch and every sentence began with "I" and ended with "me." Congratulations on handling things in a selfish and uncaring manner. When you cool off, I hope you are ridden with guilt over your pathetic behaviour.

At first, I thought I really and truly had nothing to say.. Now, I would like to tell you that you quit, for reasons that you never truly outlined.. You became angry and distant, and wouldn't let me speak.. All I wanted to do was talk, but you denied me that opportunity. You acted like a selfish child.. Everything was about "You, you you." I hope you eventually realize what you've done and feel some bit of remorse, but I won't count on it..

I understand your difficulty in dealing with the death of your father.. I know that loss, as I have been there.. All I asked was that you gave yourself time to clear your head before making a final decision. You were angry at the world and confused (by your own admission.) You still felt the need to run. You gave me no opportunity to speak, and shut me out.. You treated me with derision and lack of respect.. You didn't understand that nothing was off the table, and that with discussion, we both could have determined whether it was right to continue.. You made a unilateral decision.. A decision that you may come to regret when your head has cleared.. Unfortunately, what once was, cannot be again.. You have undermined my trust and faith. I will not allow myself to miss you or give you control over my mental well being.. I have done that for long enough...

Now I do have something to say.. Such is the roller coaster of emotions.. You have displayed a selfish and 'me first' attitude for a well over a month.. You wouldn't allow me to speak my mind. All I wanted to do was have my say, but I was greeted with "I have nothing to say," "I've said everything there is to say" What about me? You've obviously distanced yourself from me emotionally and don't care about my feelings or opinions any more.. That's brutal.. You shut me out so completely that you became someone I didn't even know.. Did you really need to hang up on me? Did I deserve that..? You do not feel my pain.. You cannot see or feel my tears. Do you even care if I'm alive?

What would I say.. Hmmm... and it took me 5 minutes to come up with that.. First, I have no desire to speak to someone who has turned on me so completely.. Someone who can't keep things civil.. someone who yells, screams and then hangs up on me because she is "too busy." What I would like to say is that breakups can be handled in a certain way, and the way you handled it was wrong. That's all I wish to say..