Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[LSgirl]

It's day 36 NC (never once contacted you since the day of the break up!) I'm so proud of myself. You still cross my mind everyday but I no longer have the thought of being with you again. The thought of you with someone doesn't hurt me as much since I know she will have to deal with the same things as I did. Or maybe not. Either way, it's not my problem anymore and I feel relieved. I stopped counting after 30 days NC and had to look at my calendar to see it was 36, you have not reached out to me since after day 6 of NC which is great. We are both strangers now. I hear nothing of you and hope it's the same for you. It's so weird from going to talking to you everyday and then all of a sudden *poof* like it never happened. I went on one date off an online thing but I told him I wasn't looking for anything serious, he was a nice guy but not interested. I talked to another guy, he doens't live anywhere near me, but the fact that we have so much in common, even talked on the phone for 4 hours was a nice remembrance that I still got it going lol Most likely, nothing will ever come out of talking with this guy as it would be long-distance but just to get that feeling that there's other people out there I could like is amazing. I'm sure you have hooked up with someone by now, but who cares. All in all, I deserved a lot better, and it took me to step outside of the relationship to see this. You will have healthier relationships when you aren't emotionally attached to your ex-fiancee anymore, don't make her go through what I did. And I know better now to watch and not ignore red flags early on in the relationship. I hope you are happy out there wherever you are, I still have a lot of work to do just within myself, but that's an ongoing battle that I learn a lot from everyday. I have a lot of things I want to do with my life and meet someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me

[playstheblues]

Hello? Please. Just. Call.

[Musical77]

I'm healing T. I'm not there yet by any stretch of the imagination. But I can feel progress.

 

I am digging deep and working so hard to face my fears and past problems. It isn't easy and I've had many times recently where I've wanted to give up on the counselling and reading, but I know I've come so far that I cannot stop here. It's incredible how this has opened a Pandora's box for me - everything in my past has come to the surface - the good and the bad...

 

This has been one of the most testing experiences of my life. I just wish you could know how incredibly difficult and painful this has been for me, because then when I'm fully healed I can show you that no matter how much it hurts when your heart breaks and your world seems shattered, no matter how you feel like you are literally losing your mind, you can get through it, you can handle it. I wish I could show you that it is possible to take a real risk with your heart, to love and be loved, and to let someone in, really close, to see you as you really are, your true self. You got so far and yet fear got in the way. Maybe I wasn't right for you. But you know I would have listened to you, let you be you, offered support if you were troubled, even if only as a confidant and not as a girlfriend.

 

I know what it is to live in fear of love, of intimacy, of taking that risk. I did it for too long and now I don't know if I can overcome it again. But for now, I just have to keep working through this grief, the griefs of the past, my self-image, my life in general. Hopefully the rest will follow.

 

Goodnight.

[Love1336]

I miss you.

I don't know why, but I always think you will come here again.

I am so proud of myself, keeping NC. But damn when I cry about you. My heart is dying inside. My heart is wanted to break NC, drive to NY, and tell you how much you mean EVERYTHING TO ME. TELL YOU HOW YOU HOW MUCH I ADORE and LOVE YOU STILL.

I wish my heart would heal already...

[soybeans]

Maybe I just had too many expectations of you. I wanted you to be a certain way for me, to change, but you just couldn't. You didn't want to. I just wasn't enough.

 

And the way you ended things...well, you were aware of what you were doing. Its not like I didn't try after you left that night. In your mind, you feel you don't owe me any apology or closure. It doesn't matter how good of a girlfriend I was to you. This is how you deal with it. Again, it was me expecting too much from you or expecting you to act the way I wanted. You never could, our whole relationship it was me bending over backwards, hoping that you would do even a fraction of what I was doing for you. You never felt bad for anything you did to me while we were together. You claimed to have, but you never owned up to it. Why would our break-up be any different.

 

I really thought by now I would be done with this. Sometimes I think I just let myself drown in these thoughts because it keeps me connected to you in some way. I'm still not ready to let go and it concerns me greatly. At least I'm sticking to my NC and not counting the days anymore.

 

PS- You probably hooked up with another girl by now. The thought turns my stomach, despite the fact that I'm actually in a relationship with someone else right now.

 

So messed up...

[einsteins_girl]

You never loved me. I see that now.

 

There's nothing left to say.

[WordsCannot]

NC day 1.

 

I did what I had to to move on. I am sorry it came as a nasty surprise... especially, the way I did it (over private message on facebook), was defintely not the most mature/soothing. I had to though. I was afraid I might not be able to convey my feelings/thoughts and execute what had to be done after hearing your sweet voice.

 

I still love you so very much but I really cannot continue lying to myself that I am ok with this arrangement anymore. I've been hurting too much... for too long to continue.

 

I wanted, desperately, to cling onto hope... to realize this fantasy, this illusion of happiness we've painted together and promised to fix... but the divide between us has gotten so wide it is now irreconcilable and detrimental to the both of us if we were to continue...

 

All the best in life and your future endeaver...

 

Perhaps we will be given another chance... in the next life.

 

Farewell.

[Daisy88]

Why is it so freaking hard for me to fully let you go?? You have been such a d*ck to me the past few two years yet somehow, you still have a piece of my heart. Feeling so, so sad right now.

[curiousbadger]

You were a lesson.

 

I find it sad. I can't tell what was real, I think it was all a lie. I find you to be sad, the type of person you truly are, what you did not even 12 hours later. I have a hard time imagining how someone can be completely devoid of empathy, even more so how it is that I ever came to convince myself that any of it was at all sincere. I need to rid this weight from my mind and say this to 'somewhere' on some context, despite the fact that you will never read this. Thanks for the wake up call, I can do so much better, I deserve so much better.

 

It was interesting, take care and grow.

[Lightning87]

Well the rabbit died this morning that you chummed me to get for my son. You know my son that you had a relationship with then left because things got too tough for you because of your own baggage? You know, the one you haven't text and asked about in your 8 days of NC.

 

You * * * * ing selfish bastard.

[Emma8]

Watched a film today, kinda romantic. Made me miss you even more. Stupid, shouldnt have watched it.

 

This is now the longest I have gone not speaking to you. 15 days. I miss you. Do you miss me? Or are you now wrapped up in her? Forgotten about me? Forgotten about us? Do you ever wish you could hold me again? Let me snuggle into your neck? You said no one would ever do that again. I bet she is.

 

I love you. This is hard.

[mixhot]

heeeeey. whats the story!!??

 

hows life sleeping with my best friend?? i hope you both rot in hell..

 

sleep well

 

( Thats what i wish i could say )

 

heey hun,.was listing to a song tday and it reminded me of when we was in wales..i bet you can guess what song it was!!!

 

just thought i would send you off to sleep with a smile.. sweet dreams spud!!

 

( Thats what i want to say )

 

UGH!!

[thegirl_00]

Ugh I got what I deserved. Dammmit!! You're gone and I'm miserable now. I deserve it all.

[soybeans]

I'm so sick and tired of missing you. I'm so frustrated that I just can't seem to move on from you.

 

I don't feel well and all I want to do is cuddle with you right now. I want to have that comfort. That unexplainable amazing feeling of walking in the door to you...I miss that so much. Walking into your arms and feeling like the world didn't matter because I had you. Holding your hand...kissing you...it made me feel invincible.

[Love1336]

Each day, I am getting stronger without you.

[playstheblues]

I can't believe you. Do you even believe yourself? Can you even believe what you're doing?

[whu647580]

I miss you. It's been two months since you suddenly left my life, but I still feel it like it was yesterday, I cans still picture you so clearly. I miss you every second of every day.

[Lisabroken]

Its Day 1 of NC and i can't believe its going to get harder. You say you need time to figure out what you want. I can't wait for you. This NC is so i can move on alone.

[OldSoul86]

Even though you've hurt me severely and took me for granted my big heart wants to wish you a Happy Birthday T. I am going to get over this breakup and be fine without you. I deserve happiness, and unfortunately you could not give it to me. It took me a long time to realize, but I was only content with you during the relationship. Why did you hold back? Why did you not give yourself to me entirely? It pains me to say, but I was settling for you. It doesn't change how I feel, I still love you, but you do not deserve it.

 

I wish you all the best on your 26th birthday.

 

M

[brokenheart13]

I have been trying to think of reasons to not love you, to figure out your role in the break up. Anything that you could have done wrong in our relationship that could help ease the pain, to place even a little bit of the blame for the demise of our relationship on your shoulders. And I have come to one conclusion it was all my fault. I am sorry for all the things that I did and did not do. I wish you would give me a chance to prove to you that I can make you happy and we can be incredibly happy together.

[playstheblues]

So alone. So lonely. Without you. Without you. Without you. I am without you. Do you even think of me anymore? Why haven't you contacted me? Please. Please. I need the relief.not even to tell me your news?? What have we become? You said you wouldn't forget me, you said youll always want me in your life yet you don't even tell me your news? God I miss you. Without you. What am I without you?

[MasterPo]

Wow.... it's been 4 months since you sucker punched me with your #$#$# news. I'm happy for you but not happy that you still played the game. Geezus! Do I have a kick me sign somewhere?? Ugh.

 

I imagine you should be pretty big by now, probably cute and glowing. Ugh. That image kills me. Should be.. nevermind..should be isn't in my vocabulary anymore.

 

Had a long drive today after my doctor's visit. Had alot to think about and I may have to spend a few weeks at the VA .. screw it.. why would I tell you about any of that? Thought alot on the drive and wondered if you thought of me. Reading ENA isn't the best thing right now.. some of the heartfelt statement burn as I wish you thought of me that way. Well.. you did at one time and my time is now but .. ugh.

 

Okay. Got to sleep now. Have alot to do tomorrow. Feel tired and emotionally sick. I need a freaking hug. Maybe I should hir someone just for that purpose. LOL. Nah. I'll bear up and shouldn't write 1 in the AM.

 

It's not so bad. At least the pain disappears about as fast as it hits. Wonder if that means I'm getting better? I better.

 

I'll make it. I have to.

[Notagoodninja]

You're no prize,

 

Back to the grinding stone..............today will be going on 2...no contact...

[Notagoodninja]

You've done a lot of stuff to me, and I forgave you. I love you very much, but I won't put up with disrespect. You disrespected me in front of other people this time and got other people involved. You did the whole good boys club thing to me. Everything was perfect. I don't think we could have asked for a better last few months...I thought it was going to work out this time. But your true colors came shining through.

[Notagoodninja]

If I go back, you will just think you can disrespect me. You didn't even apologize. Now my goal in life is to make you pay.You wanna do the crime, ya gotta do the time.

I won't focus so much this time on being miserable without you. I won't focus on that. I WILL focus this time, on dating, finding someone who WILL respect me who WILL treat me right. Someone who WILL open doors for me, who WILL appreciate the way I wait on him hand and foot making sure he gets breakfast/ lunch and dinner and brings him home icecream

Someone who appreciates my working out, someone who tells me I'm pretty.