curiousbadger

I resent the fact that because I was the only one actually in love when it all ended, that this somehow made me seem irrational to you. The truth is you never cared, maybe you did once and just never knew how to show it, but in those four last months you were already thinking about other things. It’s abundantly clear that we will never talk again and that is in reality for the better. What could I possibly say to you after what I know now. I get it now, I truly get why your one co-worker feels the way she does about me, and always will. I look forward to the day when I have to remind myself you ever existed at all. Its been a month and I haven’t been able to say anything, I am writing this down so that I may get this off of my back and let the last of it go for good.

I thought I was your best friend? I thought you couldn't bare the idea of never talking to me? Who you truly are at heart absolutely disgusts me. I'm over you, who you are, I'm done with you. But what I am having a hard time getting over is myself, how I ever fell so blind to your selfish shallow demeanor. I have no one to talk to about this, a part of me wishes I could have a talk for closure with you, however that will never happen. You haven't thought of me once since that last time I saw you. I look forward to the day that I have to remind myself that you ever existed at all.

You were a lesson. I find it sad. I can't tell what was real, I think it was all a lie. I find you to be sad, the type of person you truly are, what you did not even 12 hours later. I have a hard time imagining how someone can be completely devoid of empathy, even more so how it is that I ever came to convince myself that any of it was at all sincere. I need to rid this weight from my mind and say this to 'somewhere' on some context, despite the fact that you will never read this. Thanks for the wake up call, I can do so much better, I deserve so much better. It was interesting, take care and grow.