Wildflower88

You are getting married next week and I'm happy for you.. thank you for helping me see that things would have never worked out between us. I'm thankful that you arent the father of my child and that we arent together still making eachother miserable. I wish you so much happiness, so much luck and so much love.. I hope this is what you have always wanted.. you have my blessing, even if you dont want it.. almost 3 years have passed.. and I barely recall your embrace.. I'll never forget you though.. may you live happily every after..

thank you =)

Ugh... I broke a rule and looked at your facebook. I see your baby was born... and I hate seeing you smile holding that baby. What makes it worse is the day he was born you texted me, telling me you still loved me and cared for me. I dont understand why.. why you cant go...why you cant just let me be done and over it. I know I broke up with you but after 6 years...there is and always will be emotion there... and I dont know how to just hate you, how to just wish you the worst in the world. I am tired of you being on my mind at random times during the day. I want to not care..I want to be RID of you. I hate that you want to be friends..I dont want to be your friend..I will be happy when this is the past...

I dont feel you around me anymore.. its almost over.. I know it..I can feel it.. its a happy, sad, crazy thing.. cause I never thought we would be apart but I'm almost to a point where i wish you the best and I want the best for me.. Its almost gone... your slowly slipping away from me.. and Im letting you go

I hope you have a happy thanksgiving, it sucks that you aren't here with me.. and that your with her.. but im ok about that..and I hope your happy where you are right now.

I wish that there was an easier way to free myself from you. There are times when I forget that we aren't together. I'll be on my way to what use to be our home, or punching in the pin number that use to be our birthday years (8588) that I've since changed... I know I left you, and for all the right reasons, but there are days where the only thing I think of were the good times and its so hard to believe that its over

God I hate you so much right now, you haunt me even. I think about you a lot but with hate in my heart. You hurt me so bad

I like it when I have these moments, the moments where I don't hate you or curse you or wiish you ill harm but just where I am thankful to have known you, to have loved you back when you were a man that deserved my loving. I am no where near where I know I need to be, I'm doing things I know I don't need to do... but one day I'll be back to that silly little girl that use to laugh and joke..that happy girl... she's inside me somewhere and event hough you alost killed her... she survived. I wish that I could hug you just once.. to tell you how sorry I am for saying all those mean things about you on facebook, as much as I hate you those mean things, despite them being true... were things between you and I and not something that should have been blasted. I hope your happy even if it means your not with me

Havent spoken to you in a whole month.. i cant believe it

I know that I am to good for you, this has been known for years but you still completed that child like part of me... I still miss you with every passing day, I still love you when I try to tell myself that I don't. The fact that you and I aren't together is something I accept every morning when I wake up. I don't long for you, I don't want you back.. but its something else that hurts.. maybe its a regret for this disaster laid at our feet...the settled dust of broken hearts and words that we can't take back... I'm sorry but I couldn't just be your buddy or "Friend" as you called it while you were with your friends wife. I'm sorry to hear that you have gotten her pregnate, I'm sorry to hear that once her divorce is final you will be getting married and I'm sorry to hear that you gave her my engagment ring

Oh honey, this week you have been on my mind. The thoughts of you with someone else haunt my dreams and it just hurts me so badly. I have mixed emotions constantly. I want you to be happy, but just not with her.. I want you to have a family just not with her... ugh... You and I we fought and fought, it should have ended years ago but baby, I just wasnt willing to settle for a life living in a shack managing Pizza Hut... I wanted more and I'm so freaking sorry that you didn't... I love you, with all that is in me..but when I needed a man all you could give me was a boy.. and my heart is broken because I needed you to show me I was worth it and instead, when it was time to man up, get a better job, or hell a job at all.. you found your friends wife.. and now she takes care of you and you still sit on your @$$ watching cartoons yet.. I miss that?! ugh when I hear myself talk about it I make my own self sick.. get out of my head... I shouldnt feel guilty for wanting better for myself so why does it HURT so badly!! UGH

I saw your car today, not even you but just your car parked outside of the school building and it made me wonder what classes are you taking, are you happy, what are you up to...all the things about your life I want to know but yet... I have no rights to...I hate you but love you at the same time.. you kill me in so many ways with your hurtful comments, with the way you justify your actions... sigh, how could we have spent 6 years together and come to be enemys how could we ever claim to love eachother so much.. and yet we do this to eachother

I thought about you today.. but not the usual, I hate you kind of way. I thought about this new life I have been given, this challange that I so badly want to run away from. I have no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going or who is going to end up beside me at the end of my days but I do know that you so had an interview for that position and guess what? You gave up on a great happy ending. I'm learning to fly on my own, without you and as much as I miss your company and your smile I know that I'm worth the chase, I'm worth the work and the wait. Easy come? Guess what Easy go! You and your new girl, yall deserve eachother! Do you know why you keep saying that your happy over and over and over agian? Its because your trying to convince yourself, not anyone else lol Thanks for the memories but today-I don't need them and I don't need you.

-It's Sunday. These were the days we always spent together. I think about how we would cook dinner, get ready for our Sunday night TV line up. Family Guy, Simpsons, Trueblood, Hung. I miss those little things. I miss those little moments with you. The ones where we smiled and laughed. Hard to believe now I hate you, and you hate me. I wish that it was different. I wish that I could stand to see you with another girl. I always hear that song Picture by Sheryle Crow and Kid Rock. I put your picture away, I wonder where you have been and I can't look at you when I'm lying next to him. I wish that you would call sometimes, or text, even though I would just ignore it but to know I was on your mind would be all that I needed. I will be happy to be over all of this, to be over you. I miss our old life, the old days but I know that if I wouldn't have left things would have never changed. We would still be in a broken down shack, you would have never tried to get a job and you would have allowed me to take care of you until we were both old and gray. You lack ambition, you lack drive. Why wasn't I important enough for you to find these things in order to keep me. Was I not worth fighting for? Was I not worth waiting for? I spent 6 years of my life waiting for you Fred. I didn't go to prom I didn't go to homecoming.. I stayed at home and took care of you. Dropped out of highschool to be your house wife. I dumped my friends, put you above my family, damnit you were my family. I hate this.. I hate you. I am afraid that I will forget you, I'm afraid I'll never feel love like I felt when I was with you. I don't know if it was the childish love that one feels for their fav. stuffed animal or is it the real love that has been lost by foolish pride. I hope you are as happy as you say you are on facebook. I hope you love her as much as it appears in your new pics with her. I'm sorry that you found a little girl to take care of you, because this women, she couldn't do it anymore. I left you a boy, asking you to be a man and instead you say should I change: well dear because NO ONE will hire you or give you a chance if you show up for a job interview with your lip ring in and your ninja turtle hoodie on: I'm sorry, I know I wanted better, I know I wanted more and I wish you could have been the one to give me that. I love you, I miss you but this new life, it has to continue without you and it sucks..

Onebrightstar, you are to pretty of a girl to have any guy hurt you. Your going to make it thru this. I just got a new book from books a million its called "Its a break up, not a break down" its a 21 day challange. Lets do this together girl, because I've been looking at your post and you and I both need to be over this before the holidays get here! We can do it!! Football season is coming soon and we gotta' get ready to go out there and meet Mr. Right =) or atleast have fun meeting his friends