Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Helpmetoheal]

jjbinks: I guess drinking is out for us both! I tried the same thing last nite. It was very weird, when I was drunk I felt normal, that I could just pick up the phone and call you. This is not reality. The same miserable thoughts were with me in the morning with the added bonus of a hangover I have to nurse all day today. Why why why????? I just want to feel normal again!

Guess my plan to drink the pain away on vday is down the drain. Can't drink or I miss u more and my

Progress goes out the window. Thought I was doing great last night, got drunk and somehow forgot all of my

Healing and feel like I'm back at the start. Why do I miss u so much when you didn't treT me right despite the million chances I have given you. I miss you, I love you, I hate you.

[justaglimmer]

You're such a cowardly little pansy. How dare you block MY number after going off on me and throwing one of your crazy temper tantrums for no good reason. You're a lot of hard work and I'm so sick of your sh**, drama queen. Your way or the highway? Well, your way isn't working for me anymore. You're always accusing me of sh** when the truth is that I'm not doing a damn thing to be accused of! Your mistake, you selfish, selfish d***.

[jjbinks]

I miss u so

Much it hurts. Wow this sucks.

[Helpmetoheal]

I see your lights on, guess you're home. I want so badly to go to your door and beg you to try again with me. I don't care how pathetic I seem, it can't be any worse than I have been feeling for the last 4 weeks.

[Starrgrl]

I miss the sex.

It was so emotional and deep, and at the same time exciting, animalistic and really was the best ever.

 

Random msg I know

Hope life's going alright for ya.

[22n32]

Miss the sex big time! It was passionate,rough,loving, we fit together perfect, the way u let me toss u around, u drove me wild, best sex Ive ever had, and I know it will never be match again.. it was one of those once in a lifetime things..

 

Can't always get what u want.. life is cruel.. I have everything else in life. But I want u the most...

[Live-N-Learn]

Miss the sex big time! It was passionate,rough,loving, we fit together perfect, the way u let me toss u around, u drove me wild, best sex Ive ever had, and I know it will never be match again.. it was one of those once in a lifetime things..

 

Can't always get what u want.. life is cruel.. I have everything else in life. But I want u the most...

 

I hear ya bro. Once in a lifetime kinda sex. However, I really don't want her anymore only the sex!

[22n32]

I hear ya bro. Once in a lifetime kinda sex. However, I really don't want her anymore only the sex!

 

I'm getting to the stage were that's what I miss the most. Of course there's other great things about her and us.. but if it was so easy for her to throw it away. Then sex is what I'm gonna miss about her the most

[Live-N-Learn]

I know but trust me I did it for 11 months post breakup and it was not worth it. The cost was extremely high cuz I always wanted her back. Left me feeling used and empty. Not worth it my friend if hey don't want to be in relationship anymore. Trust me you are better off. I know you don't feel that way and I didn't either until I went through it.

 

Still miss f-n her though even with all the pain. ugh, how pathetic lol

[Robin2904]

Hi

 

The last few days have been kinda crazy haven't they? On Thursday- which made 17 days since we last spoke- though I doubt you counted the days like I did- that was the day I finally heard from you again. The last two and a half weeks all I've done is wonder if I would ever hear from you again, if you would ever contact me, guess I can stop wondering now huh? It's surreal- I almost got used to the feeling of anxiety wondering if you would ever contact me. It's kind of weird to let that go now- but new stage of healing for me I guess.

 

The timing is so strange too. Thursday was the first day in I can't remember how long that I actually felt GOOD. I had a date Thursday night. Something I NEVER thought I would say. I know you have gone on plenty of dates since me- didn't hide that. And for me it felt good to say I was doing the same. I'm not sure why I said yes to this guy since I have turned about 5 other guys down who were interested in me recently- but something felt right. And I was SO happy Thursday afternoon, excited for the date and had a free sense of just letting go! For the first time in a looong time I wasn't sitting there wondering if you would contact me! Then what happened- literally as I'm feeling all these things- in a happy mood- I look at my texts and there you are! You texted me! I was honestly SO surprised- not so much that you did text me- but at the timing. It was like 'Wow does he have a 6th sense or something?' it was kind of creepy!

 

You said 'Hi just wanted to say hi. Are you okay?'

 

I didn't know what to do. Should I answer? And then I little bit of anger hit- why are you asking NOW? 17 days later? You didn't even check to see if I got home okay- if you really cared you would have asked me then. So much I wanted to ask you- I wanted to confront you, yell at you....but I didn't do any of that. All I said was 'I'm great thanks'. I wasn't sure if that was too mean- but I DO want you to know I am doing good- honestly Thursday WAS a great day! And I didn't want to leave things open and ask about you. That might sound like a biotch thing, but I don't want to know if your okay. I don't want to know about your life since I am not a part of it. I do hope you are happy, but I don't want to know if you are or not. So you replied to me- 'Good'- I know you were perplexed that I didn't ask about you. Maybe even a little hurt that I was so cold- but I was hurt when you let me walk away like a stranger 17 days before that. I was hurt that you watched me bawl my eyes out to you with no emotion what so ever. Part of me hopes you were a little hurt too.

 

Surprisingly I didn't give much more thought to you that day. I got home and got ready for my date. I thought that would be the last I heard from you. So I went on my date- I laughed, had fun and hung out with a very nice guy. Best part is he is everything you are not. Not saying he is better, but SO different, which was great! Then I went to the rest room- and I looked at my phone and was surprised- another text from you. This one said 'Sorry if earlier was awkward' I wasn't sure what to say this time. I wasn't sure why you were still texting me. I'm still curious- what did you want? Why now? I finished my date and got back to you late that night when I got home replying with simply 'np' -np- no problem. Something you ALWAYS said to me through text- something I HATED. Just so casual- even in the most serious of conversations- It would piss me off to NO end. So I threw if back at you. I thought for sure you would read 'np' when you got up in the morning and would NEVER be able to come up with a reply to that.

 

I got up yesterday not expecting you to text back and there was one more. 'I know you don't want anything to do with me. sorry for bothering u'

 

You really confused me with this one. I don't want anything to do with you? Was I NOT the one who went 4 hours out of my way to see you? The one who pushed for us to communicate, to be friendly? I DID want something to do with you- but you made me feel horrible last time you saw me. And I KNOW why you are saying this now. Its SO clear. You need your ego fed don't you? Random nasty girls not doing it for you anymore huh? I knew you would miss me- you figured I would always be there didn't you? That you could have your single life but good old safety net Robin will always be around loving me. No- that's not the case. You don't get to have me there anymore. What you wanted me to say to this was 'Oh no Mikey its not like that! I still want you in my life and blah blah blah' Um NO! Not doing that- not going to give you that ego boost when you killed mine.

 

me: I don't have any bad feelings towards you

him: ok ty

me: Just being in touch isnt productive to me moving on. Maybe one day we can be friends just honestly dont think now is the time

him: I respect that but know im here for u no matter what

me: The last time I saw you was kind of hard but it gave me a sense of closure that I think I needed so really thanks for tha

me: Thank you. Wish you all the best. Honestly.

him: thank you. Sorry.

me: Sorry for what?

him: IDK bothering you

me: Not a bother. no problem. Take care of yourself okay? Ill always care about you and really do hope your happy or find happiness

him: u2

 

And that was it. I have mixed feelings tonight for a lot of reasons. WHY did you contact me? What did you hope to accomplish by doing so?

 

Did I do the right thing by acting nonchalant? Should I have tried to talk to you- tried to open communication again? Had this come a few days before I would have done just that- all I wanted for weeks was for you to contact me- show me there was something in you that thought about me. But then I wonder maybe you didn't do this because you still wanted me, maybe you were just being friendly. Wanted to show you didn't hate me- but also didn't want me anymore. I am confused and KNOW I am over analyzing this. But still part of me wonders if maybe the last 3 weeks have been just as hard for you, that you have resisted the urge to contact me many many times, cried yourself to sleep, missed me like crazy- and that day was your final breaking point. You wanted to play it cool when contacting me and be casual- to feel me out- and maybe me being casual and uncaring too was like BAM shooting you down! Maybe me acting that way killed you because you wanted to try again.

 

SOOO many maybes, questions, over analyzing. I KNOW I'm driving myself crazy! I want SO bad tonight to text you and ask you at least some of these questions, but know I shouldn't. Especially after how I left things. Just when I think I take a step forward I take 5 back. Arg!!

[jjbinks]

I miss

You. I feel like I'm in the sad place. Again. I'm feeling like tthis is the lowest of my lows yet. Its bc I know there's not even a glimmer of hope for things to b the same again. Or

For you to be in my life.

[jjbinks]

U don't deserve the validation that I miss u. U had all the chances in the world and blew every last one bc u refuse to put me first or work for anything altruist and unselfish. I'm done . For good. No friendship no bull * * * * no thoughts to you no writing in a public forum that you can see or have access to my thoughts bc u don't deserve them. Goodbye. I'm done. No more anything.

[lovemehateyou]

You are a disgusting pig. I hate you and it feels great!

[Helpmetoheal]

I wish I didn't think about you as often as I do, its like breathing to me. You can't live without air, so I wonder where that leaves me???? Super Bowl tonight, I guess you'll be going to your dad's as usual. I was never invited before so it does not bother me at all. I wish I could get these thoughts of reconciliation out of my head, its preventing me from truly healing, but to be honest I don't know if I even want to heal. Strange. I should write a book.

[makayla]

Hey,

 

I think I still miss you, I still want to hang out with you, and I still think you're handsome.

Which sort of sucks because while I know that I still haven't completely gotten over you, I thought that my desire to be with you has gone already - but I think that in a way I'm still lingering, and thinking about you quite a bit.

I really don't want to keep in contact with you, so I really don't want to do the project anymore. But I still have to, for the sake of professionalism.

To be honest I really don't want to know how you're doing right now or what you're doing, what people you're meeting etc.

 

I am trying my best to put my anger away and at this moment, I feel quite at peace. And I just want to say - for the first time I hope that you're happy. I used to want to hurt you and make you suffer just to show you how it hurted. But right now, I hope that you are happy, and that you make the most out of your time wherever you are. We are young and I hope you're enjoying your life on the other side of the world.

 

I just hope that I will completely get over you asap.

 

S

[Love1336]

I want to so badly to see how happy you are without me, but i need to think about myself, and how that will just harm me more.

[Moonchill]

Darling,

I'm so sorry I overreacted.

Your words have meaning to me.

I don't hate you.

I don't love you either.

But I miss you...

And I wonder how things could have been..

If I didn't react so irrational and emotional..

If I could understand your fear of commitment..

[justaglimmer]

I dreamed about you last night, and it was a wonderful dream. I miss you so much, and I wonder if you feel the same.

 

I dreamed that we were traveling somewhere far away together, just you and me in the car, it was raining outside..

 

I'm still sorry for anything I've done to hurt you, despite the many times you've hurt me and you never once apologized.

 

I miss cuddling with you... I miss your kisses.

[jjbinks]

I miss u so much. It is terrible. I wish things wouldve been different.

All I wanted was a big

Gesture

Some

Proof you changed. But no too selfish. I hate

Myself for

Even caring

About you still. I hate you bc

I love you

[jjbinks]

Tonight is one of the worst nights vie had since we broke up. Spent half of it by the pool watching the city drinking wine remembering what was Alone. I wish I had a magic wand that could heal me. Poof j healed no more b to think about. For the first time today I thought that maybe you are already involved w someone

Else. That could explain y u wouldn't come for vday when u were the one who kept asking and then when I said yes all of a sudden it was a no go? Y didn't I think of that sooner I dk. Either way I know you are not good for me, you are incapable of having the type of capacity for love I need. The problem is no matter how much I know that, my heart hasn't let go of u. Stupid thing focus on circulating my blood, leave feelings alone. At the moment I envy how stoic you can be. I wish I could shut you out as easily as you can. I wish I could forget you quicker, considering all the crap you put me

Through I should be done not even thinking about you, yet you har a piece of my heart. Love is stupid. Maybe I'll just be a cat lady.

[Robin2904]

I still do miss you.

 

I kinda think you contacting me was worse then you not contacting me because now- even after I handled things so well, I can't help but wonder. Why did you contact me now? What were you trying to accomplish? Did you want to be friends? More then that? GAHH! I felt like i had moved on for about 5 minutes- and now I kinda feel like I took a small step back. I really do want to reach out to you so badly. When you said 'know im always here for you no matter what' why did you have to go and say that???? Like really WHY? YOU brought that up out of no where! You texted me- I left you alone for the last 3 weeks. I don't know what you wanted!! And by saying 'I know you don't want anything to do with me' WTH? How did you manage to turn it all around on me?

 

GRRR I don't like this at all!

[nessa7139]

You have messed my head up again!!! I've allowed you to do it as well!

I've let you back into my life even though we have agreed that we could never get back together!! I thought I could handle it and the situation, but as I sit here typing this, I am crying so hard because I miss you and love you so much.

Us being fwb is never going to work for me because i cant separate my feelings of love from sex.. and soon enough you will meet someone and i will be hurting so bad!!

Friday night was amazing and I felt so loved by you, the way you said you loved me and the way you held me and then the way we made love.... But i am so confused now...

 

I cant let go and i know i should but i really haven't got the strength!! I'm so miserable without you but i'm not happy with you.. and I know you feel the same!!!

You seem to be my guilty pleasure and I for you!!

I love you so much but please leave me alone

xx

[DoxCin]

The things I allowed are embarassing to admit....I have to say it out loud somewhere though.

 

Just shy of 4 years is how long we were together if that's what you want to call it, but I don't think anyone would agree it merits the label of relationship.

 

The dynamic of you being my boss when we got together was never a healthy way to start. You being the controling and manipulative person you are, you shouldn't begin a relationship where you are automatically in some kind of control. The aggressive and opinionated person I am, I never should have fallen in love with someone who needs to control every detail of his life to the point where he will cut out with the quickness anything that threatens the facade of your life.

 

You are such a sad, messed up, sick, lonely, miserable person. YOu have negative things to say about everyone, even your children.

 

I won't begin to list the things you've done that I have forgiven...the only thing I even need to put on the list is forgiving you for being a sex addict and trolling craigslist while telling me how we were working toward a future together and how I was so understanding about your needs and wow what an amazing person that made me... yea, it made me amazingly stupid... 18 other women that I know of stupid. So laugh all the way to the bank.. laugh while you're sleeping with the next one, and the next one, and the one after that you disgusting swinger.

 

You never ended it with me becuase you knew you would never find someone like me again... ever. Freak.

 

So * * * is wrong with me that if you looked me deep in the eyes while holding me close and told me you never want to be away from me, I would shove all the horror into the darkest corner of my being and feel like I was the luckiest woman in the world?

 

Still loving you is just as awful of a truth as all the abuse you have heaped on me...actually, it's probably worse.

[Love1336]

So, ive lost count how many days i went on NC.

Going to see you today at work.

I need a new job.

I wonder will you look my way?

I bet not you are happy with your new lady.

She's everything im not.

[jjbinks]

i miss you so much it sucks. i wish that you could snuggle and kiss me. i want to see you . I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU SO