Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[twitchyfingers]

I miss you so much. I was a wreck today. Uncontrolled sobbing, shaking. I'm trying to prepare for a job interview tomorrow, and I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I had to call a calm friend to talk me through my interview prep. I did not tell him that I was hurting because of you...I am trying to hide the pain from my friends. They warned me I shouldn't take the risk in flying up north to meet you, on your turf, after only knowing you from email and phone calls. That I could get hurt. They were worried about physical harm...but look at the emotional harm that happened.

 

I feel like stopping contact with you is doing me harm; more harm than if I'd just kept up with the friendly daily banter via email and IM. But now, I feel locked into the silent battle. If I contact you, and you ignore me, or don't welcome me back, I will be not only heartbroken, but humiliated.

 

I know you are online, looking for other girls. I didn't go looking at your profile today, but I did go back and read some of our correspondence during the time we were in contact after the break up. You were still so sweet and thoughtful and smart and fun, and kind. I feel like going silent on you is like kicking a golden retriever or something.

 

But I know you could always reach out to me if you wanted to...I didn't tell you not to. It's just a mysterious silence between us now.

 

I hate it so much. I miss you, I miss the dreams we talked about, even if it in the end was just a fantasy.

[incaangelique]

liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar I caught you liar liar liar liar liar

[Auscheer]

I will always love you. I think you're a coward for saying 'it's too hard' when you still love me, too. You can't even deny it to make it easier for us both. Love is never easy, you're just too lazy to help me try fix us, and think you might be happy if you settle with someone new. You will be until the honeymoon period is over. Then what happens to the true love we threw away? We are so young that it's silly to say it's too late for us. We are so young that maybe you don't think we'll still be coming back to this when we're fifty, when we've settled for people who are simple to get along with but that we don't really love ... because we will. But I can only wait so long. It might be a year or two, who knows. But if you don't man up soon you'll lose us forever, and that's bigger than you realise. Do you know some people never find true love? It makes me sick you'd turn your back on it becuase of a few bad months. I've given myself to you entirely, you can't ask for more than that and you'll never find someone who loves you more than I do. Will you be okay with that after what we shared? I hope not. I'd love for you to be happy, but not when it comes at the cost of my happiness. You're being stubborn and it's a big mistake. Will she be there for you through all the insecurities and downfalls? Would she hold your hand at the dentist and kiss you when you're sick, rub your nose when you have hayfever, read your work and cherish first drafts because she truly believes in you? I will never forgive you for not fighting for us. Why weren't we worth more to you? But I will always love you. I wish I could stop.

[Philabonia]

I have no clue why I have been thinking about you so much lately - maybe it was because I went back to NYC? I dont know, but you have been on my mind too much lately, and its frustrating. I no longer feel the pangs of guilt and twinges of pain that controlled me for so many months, but I do feel a hole where you used to be, and it seems that I try to measure its depth every time I see another picture of your smile with another mans face in the picture.

 

There are no words for what happened, or why you acted the way you did. In some twisted, unfortunate way, I got exactly what I deserved. Do you still think of me? Do you ever wonder how I am doing? Part of me hopes so, but that part still hangs on to the memories. The other part of me is moving on, and I'm glad for that fact. Nonetheless I hope you are doing well; it seems you life is exactly what you want it to be now, and thats what it always should have been. I'm so glad that you are doing what you want, instead of feeling in limbo, but I wish we could be a part of eachothers lives for just a moment. I dont want a friendship - it would be too painful. But I would like a wave goodbye like two ships passing, instead of a silent stranger walking out of the stale glow cast by the streetlight...I can still see our world illuminated, and you are no longer there. Such a shame.

[iBroken]

I never thought I would actually be glad that you ever let me go.

 

I have met someone so wonderful. I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to connect with someone again. But I have, and better than I ever did with you.

 

I didnt think that love would ever be possible after you destroyed me, walked out of my life and never looked back. But as each day passes by, and the more time I spend with my girlfriend, I realize that I am more than capable of falling in love again - and might just be. She is in every way right for me. She makes me laugh, she is affectionate. She is patient and understanding as I try to work some of my residual issues that I carried with me when you left. She is attracted to me mentally and physically. She is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful and I feel at peace when I hold her in my arms and kiss her good night. When we cuddle, our bodies mesh together so perfectly. It just feels so natural and so right. Like I have known her my whole life.

 

Everyone who has met her adores her. My friends are all happy that I have met her and have told me that I am not to let her go. Not one person has had anything negative to say. Mom will be meeting her soon and you know that mom will absolutely love her. She loves everything about her so far based on what I and my brother have told her.

 

I have met the girl that I will spend the rest of my life with. The feeling is that strong. And I am willing to risk the pain all over again because she's worth it.

 

Deuces

[Live-N-Learn]

I miss you so much...I know it is over and I am glad we had a good conversation before going NC. In some ways though I wish I hated you because it would be easier. Knowing that you love me and want me in your life as a close friend, still think about me all the time is both good and bad for me emotionally. All I can think about is that you love me but are not in love with me. I need to stop thinking about you. I am glad we are not in contact but I need to find the motivation to get my life together and start over without you. I just can not stay in this state of depression any longer. I have to force myself to go to the gym. I know this is the one thing that will help me the most. Ugh, now just to do it.

 

I hope you are doing ok although I know you are not. Your life is a mess and I wish I was your partner and could help you with it. I want so badly to text or call you but I won't. I hope you are struggling like I am at some level. I know you are but as soon as you find your new boyfriend I am sure that will all change.

[Dr. Drees]

I miss you.

[22n32]

Miss u.. miss ur sense of humor and I miss making love to u

[rosarioT]

miss me...

[iwannarun]

You know what? You suck. I'm mad, really mad. At YOU. For treating me like this, like I don't matter. Like you don't care if I'm in your life or not. Screw you. Screw you and all the things you tell me. Screw it. One day you're talking to me like normal and everything is good, and the next you just seem to forget all about me. So screwwww you. UGH I'm so pissed off right now and I don't know why. Except oh wait, yeah I do. CUZ I LOVE YOU AND YOU DONT SEEM TO GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THAT.

 

You're friends with my brother...what, you want HIM to be your best friend now? Fat chance. You admitted to me 2 weeks ago that you were lonely. Lonely. After being broken up for three months. GOOD. I wasn't lonely, I'm NOT lonely anymore. You still have feelings, that much I know. But you change your freakin mind every other day and I'm sick of it. Talk to me or don't talk to me, but I'm so done with your crap. I'm done with being miserable, with wondering what's wrong with me, what I've done to make you do this. But I've done nothing. I don't deserve to be treated like I'm nothing. Because I AM something. A whole lot of something. YOU are the immature one, not me. YOU are the one who can't make up their mind, not me. YOU YOU YOU. Why is everything in my head about YOU? GET OUT. Just get out. Just let me forget how perfect you USED to be. Cuz I'm sick of it, I really am. GET out of my head.

[rosarioT]

As much as I wish I had something to say to u I got nothing, NOTHING. Just this feeling in my stomach that makes me so sick every time i think about u, a feeling I can't put into words.

[Cheetarah]

Come on. You married her after 1 month of knowing her? Are you NUTS? Wait, yes you are. Scratch that.

 

What could you POSSIBLY know after 1 month? I don't even have any words, but I'll wait for the crash and burn. I know it's coming.

[Robin2904]

I miss you....but I'm doing better!

 

I'm not going to lie and say I'm not still hurt. I am. But I'm doing better and it makes me feel SO good to say that. I still look at the phone every night around 9 though....expecting you to some how call. I know its dumb, but nearly a year of that and a person gets used to it. Old habits die hard I guess. I can't wait for the day that 9pm passes and I won't expect to hear from you. I know it will come and I can't wait

 

I'm not sure why but I just feel good tonight. I don't really have a reason to feel that way but I do. Guess I'm thankful to God for small favors. I miss you, but I realize I miss the old you.....not this guy that's there now. I don't know him- and really I don't want to. Still a part of me wishes you would call me, text me, reach out to me- something- it would show me you still care at all...that there is still a hint of that guy I loved in there. But I won't hold my breath lol. I do wonder what I would do if you do reach out to me again. Will I answer, will I ignore you? I'm not too sure. But I won't worry about that because I honestly don't see it happening any time soon. Your too busy being single, dating and 'not being tied down' as you put it. Good luck with that....with those girls. I mean that with a ton of bitterness behind it- believe me.

 

I kind of wish you could see that I'm doing good- even if I'm not. I thought about posting a status update on that forum we both visit. Since I have you blocked from every other website- Facebook, Myspace etc....but I know you still can see me on there. You even told me you saw my birthday pictures on there when I saw you last weekend. It caught me off guard, but I liked the fact that you did see them- that you saw I looked great and had a good time. I know it's mean of me....but I liked it. And I thought about posting a status update on there tonight- one I know you would see- saying something along the lines of 'Having an AMAZING day! Life is SO good! I love smiling and REALLY being happy!! I know that sounds like a biatch move, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to bother you after you so coldly looked me in the eyes and showed me how much you didn't care. How you would rather be single then be with me- and want the freedom to date other people. I want you to think I'm doing great, moving on dating- like I know you are- even if I'm not. Even if all I'm doing is sitting home watching movies and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream in my pink pj pants.

 

Ehh.....I guess I will get to the point where I AM really happy and I won't have to fake it. I know it will come.

[twitchyfingers]

Today I got a job. Finally. I kept thinking of how I would describe the interview and everything to you, to make you laugh. And how you would be so supportive, since we've both been struggling SO HARD for months to find ourselves jobs.

 

I drove home from the interview, taking the back roads along the beach, glancing over at the beautiful waves and the warm blue sky, and wishing I could tell you about that, too.

 

I wondered today if you miss me, or if you are just relieved that I've disappeared. Are you dating anyone? I've stopped checking your okcupid profile...finally. I have a couple of guys from the site who I've been writing to, and will probably meet at least one of them. Neither one excites me like you did, but neither one seems as over-the-top as you were in your courtship of me. So, maybe, they will turn out to be realistic, and healthy, and not just build castles in the sky. I did pull down my profile, though, to focus on work. (And it's not the profile you know me thru...I've left that one disabled.)

 

It will be nice when, someday, I care much less, and maybe we can be in contact. I doubt that will be until I've met someone else.

[calisurfer]

OK I'm all freaking confused cuz my ex txted me a few hours ago and I'm trying my hardest not to txt back. Long story short we were together for 1.5 years (gay relationship) and he took off one day to go visit his brother. He calls a few days later and dumps me says he's not gay, he loves me but isnt in love with me. Same ole things everyones heard before. Well the next day after the bu I find out via a mutual friend that he already has a gf and is living with her. So it's been a really tough month. Added to the fact he dumped me a few days before x-mas was really painful.

 

Ok well I got a txt this morning asking if he could meet up with me to chat and since it's going to be at night if we could spend the night somewhere. Seriously, what the f&^*. I haven't replied since. Why can't he just leave me alone. Part of me wants to txt back and be like okay where and when. It's a VERY small part. I'm just in shock and want to text back something pretty foul that would get me banned from this place. Is he really that selfish that he could care less about my feelings. It's really disturbing to see this side of him and to know that I fell in love with someone like him.

[Robin2904]

I feel like my little status posting idea may have backfired against me in two ways. First of all- I wasn't even meaning to but I think I ran accross one of the girls who you casually have been dating on there. LOVLEY. I may be jumping to conclusions- but I don't think so. And I shouldn't even care, but STILL it just got to me. FML! One set back!

 

Then I ran accross your page- I should have stopped myself but I looked through your pictures- why I don't know. Why would I torture myself? UGH And I see your status post on Tuesday. Nothing serious- just a 'hey- what's up?' to your friends on there- but still....I liked to think that after I left on Monday you were too upset to post on there.....especially because I know the only reason you DO go on there is to get female attention. Hell that is where you met the girls you went out with isn't it? Funny how I introduced you to that website when we were together! I CURSE myself a million times over for doing that!

 

I hope this doesn't set me back but I have a feeling it will. And I still posted my happy little update- I wonder if you'll see it- wonder if you'll even care. I wonder if now I'm just loosing my mind and going way too far to get a reaction out of you- when I doubt you'll even give a crap. I even posted a new picture that I know you'll see. But what they heck am I expecting you to go? See my status about being happy, and see this picture of me and go 'Oh gosh I need to text Robin RIGHT NOW! I was a fool to let her go! She looks beautiful and seems happy! How can I live without her?!' I think I'm really loosing it. I KNOW that will never happen and if you do see these pictures you'll never let on anyway- hell it may just make you go the opposite way because you think I'm doing SO well and am happy.

 

I think I'm just going to delete myself on there since it's a public board and I can't block you. This way I will have NO place where I may be tempted to 'spy' if you can really call it that- on your life now. The only contact I'll have to you is your sister and her boyfriends facebooks- which I can't bring myself to ever delete. I love those two- and even though I do look at Molly's page sometimes just to see pictures of you- and it hurts me to see her and her BF so happy when Im so miserable- and I think of all the times the 4 of us shared together double dates, movies in the living room- just 2 happy couples- I HAVE to let those things go.

 

Tonight kinda sucks.

[Ivis]

No contact reset after 3 months - Day 1

 

FB Deactivated

Deleted number from FB

 

Thankful for my true friends (lots of friends)

Thankful for my loving family

Thankful that I have a stable job (planning on quitting though, need a new environment where I am a stranger)

 

Lonely still. 4 years down the drain.

[jjbinks]

Another hard day ahead, the pining for you has already started. I'm in bed. I should be at the library. Its terrible to think, but part of me wishes u had just surprised me and came anyways today. I know it's not s good idea. I'm all over the place. A serious part of me is Mad you aren't here , bc u never do anything spontaneous or go out of your way for me. But at the same time I have to reiterate it is better for me this way anyways bc u tend to cause me pain. You can't be everything I want, yet my heart is longing to just be snuggled and kissed instead of being in my bed alone right now. The thought of pulling a Freddie prince crossed my mind (drinking your cologne bc I'm so messed up) of course I wouldn't. But I'm thinking about drowning myself in some white wine, spraying your cologne and tryig to cry you out of my system tonight. I'm a wreak.

[AsianLove89]

Im so confused right now after our last fight my feelings toward you changed...we should have never gotten 2gether bcuz i new it would end like this....

[rosarioT]

I'd NOT AGREE TO MEET...WHAT HE DID WAS VERY HURTFUL... WHAT COULD U GET OUT OF THIS? HE ISN'T GAY, AND U DESERVE SOMEONE WHO AT LEAST KNOWS WHAT HE IS, WHO LOVES U AND RESPECTS AND AT THE VERY LEAST CARES ABOUT UR FEELINGS. HUGS!!! STAY STRONG HUN

[Robin2904]

I deleted myself on that STUPID forum!! SO happy to do that! It was bitter sweet because it held a lot of significance for us. Those events they organized- that was where I FIRST saw you. And our first night together- New Years Eve- we spent at the stupid dance parties they throw. But there was no point on me being there anymore. That was a chapter of my life that is done and over. I can't torture myself by looking at you on there now, looking at girls you may be going out with- hell girlfriends you may have in the future. Its so much better this way. Wonder if you'll even notice I deleted myself....even care. Doubtful. But at least I did what was best for me- for once.

[jjbinks]

I miss u so much I went to text u

[thenithappened]

Today has been the worst day so far. Wednesday I held up OK, yesterday I thought I was doing well, today I feel like I'm at square one again. I think it's because you were in my dream so vividly last night. Then I woke up and you were gone again. Maybe forever

[notgivingup]

Hi Nynnja,

 

What a good idea.

 

I miss you and I still think about you. Memories of what used to be us keeps repeating itself over and over in my mind. The urge to contact you and look you up on profile are constantly on my mind. I felt like you were so set on breaking up with me that nothing I said or did mattered. We were so happy together and we were just together for one month, I felt like you did not give me enough time to work things out. How come you were able to stay together with your previous ex for four and a half years before me but refuses to give me a second chance to improve things between us? Was I that bad of a girlfriend? I feel so conflicted right now. Did I single handedly ruin our relationship or did you? Did you jump into this relationship with me too soon (6 months) after a 4 and a half relationship, was that the reason why we aren't together anymore? Was I your rebound? I know that there's this saying "do not regret what once made you happy", but how can I? You led me to believe that you loved me but was unable to give me a second chance. You led me to believe that true love exists when what you felt for me wasn't true love at all, because you end up breaking my heart. How could I forgive me and not end up hating you? What is your definition of a bad girlfriend or bad boyfriend? One who cheats? Isn't it common curtesy to return someone's call especially the call of your significant other? How could you go by a day without returning my call knowing that I have called you and left you a voicemail telling you that I need you? How was I to know that you were nursing a hangover when all I can feel is I need my boyfriend? Does nursing a hangover an excuse not to be there for your significant other? Shouldn't your significant other be your first priority? Are you missing me and thinking about me as I am about you? Did you mean it when you said you want to be friends with me in the future? Did you love me at all? I'm sure there's more where that comes from, but I'll end it at that.

 

Notgivingup

 

(I got this idea from another forum I visit frequently, if one like this already exists by all means ignore / delete this one.)

 

OK, it seems a few of us have had a rough time with the darned NC. I had fantasies today of unloading all this anger, longing, and "W-T-F" onto my ex. I am creating this thread as a place for all of us in pain to post instead of contacting Ms/Mr ex. It could actually be kind of fun, at least a release.

 

What would you like to tell him or her? Even if it's been building up for years, post it here! Rage-fest! Longing-fest! DO NOT CONTACT that frigging ex, put it all here!!

[iwannarun]

I don't feel so good today. I'm afraid I need my friends right about now. Ah man...this sucks so bad.