Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[happyxfaith]

We are breaking up later tonight. Somehow this doesn't feel like my previous breakups. I should be more devastated, I should even want to try to convince you to try to make this relationship work, but somehow I only feel half hearted about it. I still want to ask you if you would like to try, but I think even if you said no, it's not something unexpected for me... Maybe when you finally say it to my face, then it'll hit me. I've felt for so long now that I was pulling your end of the relationship, usually I have nothing but good to say about my exes, even though we all have our faults. I wonder if I felt this has been just my 70-80% keeping us going for so long, or if I'm just judging you unfairly. I just know I was a really great girlfriend to you. I tried my best to support you, to give you space, to encourage you, to talk with you honestly, and to make plans for us to have fun together.

And I think you started taking that for granted even though you always denied it. When you were contemplating breaking up, you got upset at me for always trying to go do something on our dates when all you wanted to do was 'chill'. Haha even though you got angry at that, we never ended up going to do our plans did we? I always conceded to you even though you started telling me I'm bossy. I conceded to you our meals, our desserts, where we met up, our time. Even though you always asked me, I never really got to choose. Whenever I suggested a time, after you would ask, you would always pick a time more convenient for you. Yes in the last month of our relationship, I complained more to you. I said to your more of what was on my mind. Because I always felt like I couldn't tell you what I felt, because you would judge me, pull away, and find me controlling, and I would feel like I'm nagging.

I wish you would've told me more about yourself. What annoyed you, bothered you, what turned you on, attracted you. Towards the end, I'm seeing your reactions to my comments, and only now can I pinpoint some things you don't like, when I should've learned throughout our relationship. And that's how it's always been hasn't it? You learn so much about me, because I wanted to be open, to let you in, but you always put on a mask to keep the peace. I like your positivity but I don't like your avoidant nature. I wonder what you thought would've happened if you told me the truth about how you felt time and time again.

And now that you want to leave, all you can pick at are the little breadcrumbs that's been bugging you throughout our relationship. And no matter how many things you bring up, they only sound like excuses now. I wouldn't have minded working on that, you know? I would've done that for you.

And at the end of the day, that's not really the issue is it? If you really wanted me, you wouldn't have minded working on that now. If you were really still that into me, you wouldn't avoid looking at me. If you still loved me, we wouldn't be breaking up, would we? If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to tell you to fulfill my relationship needs.

I'm not really all that clingy like you think. I only became like that in the end, when I just wanted you to look at me. I wanted to feel important, special, and to see that look in your eyes that sometimes read you loved me. I missed that. I missed the pecks on the cheek and on my forehead, when you discovered how much i liked those. I miss when you bent down to kiss me when we walked along the streets. I miss when you would pull at my nose and call me silly. I miss you putting your arms around me like I was yours. I miss you laughing. I miss us laughing. I miss how your body towered over mine. I loved looking at you, you know? It hurts more than you think. And it's sad that the chapter of you is coming to this end. Maybe I'm not sure I want to convince you, because I don't feel like I want to be with someone who I have to ask to be with me. If you don't want to, it's okay. I want to tell you that I hope you find someone who you feel is worth fighting for. And I want to find someone who feels the same.

 

the worst part is, I don't even know what to do with all my presents for you. can i just give it to you? Nah. It would seem too desperate. Maybe you'd just throw it away anyways.

[Cope]

Why is it so hard? I miss you so much. I cry every morning, i cry everytime i get home.

 

Today was like the first day again. Just now i had thoughts and feelings that everything will be ok, that you miss me too , that we will talk again and decide to give it a try and it felt so good, but i know i was kidding myself. So back to reality. I am excited about the things i have to do. I am excited about my single life too, but i know i will miss you. I really want to see if i will still miss you if i find another guy (which i hope will not be soon). I really want to talk to you, but i know that if i do, i will still think that something will come out of it. I will be expecting things. I will text you as if we were still together, cause due to long-distance, most of our interactions were texting, so it's easy to fall back.

 

It hurts me to think that you don't miss me but i have to accept that. At least, you don't miss me like i would want you to. I am having a hard time getting you off a pedestal. I am having a hard time admitting to myself and this is the first time i will, that our connection wasn't all that great to begin with.I still think it's because we both were holding back. It could be. I have to accept that most likely i will never see you again. I will never get the chance to look you in the eyes to see how you have really changed. I have found that cathartic with my previous relationships. Skype doesn't count. I need to see you. That will never happen, although deep down inside i think it will.

 

It's not closure i am looking for, i have no questions or doubts on what happened, regrets yes. Seems i was unlucky that you had a bad experience with distance before. Oh well.

 

It's hard and i miss you, i want to talk to you and i am not ready . Oh how i wish you would text me to say the same

[Cope]

Hey. Today isn't better. A friend of mine suggested to write you a letter. I have no need to write you a letter, i have no questions as i said. I do not want you to know that i am in this much pain. If ever you ask i will probably not hide it, but for me to send you an email to tell you i am in this much pain?? I don't know why people do that. Another ex of mine did that, it made me lose the little respect i still had for him. I am a believer of being able to show your vulnerability, but to one point. I have already stated my desires, you stated yours, end of story. Now i am just picking myself back up and moving on. It's hard.

 

I had the strongest urge to contact you just now. All i needed to do was start typing. I didn't. Every time i avoid that i am proud. Every day on the NC calendar i mark off makes me feel better bout myself. I don't hate you, nor am i avoiding you because i am mad. I am hurt and i can't continue talking to you as friends.

 

I miss talking to you. I miss you.

[Labhrais85]

Hey N, I hope youre well. I know you have exams around now, so I want to wish you good luck. Youll do great!

 

Sheesh, I still miss you, I still find it hard to accept and give up on. I really messed things up, and I can only look back and regret. Today's been a continuation of a few bad days. Someone suggested I send one last message, get my closure and then bow out and never talk to you again. No point tho, wont do any good, and the idea of 'one last thing' makes me feel sad. Then I think maybe I should for that reason, but thats just the desperation talking. I handled things so badly, acted so desperately, emotionally and so on, I wont do that again.

 

My best to you and your family

[ragdoll15]

Every time I start to remember you fondly, it sucks my happiness dry. I'm trying to let go of any notion of reconciliation because we have done the makeup/breakup thing too many times. Today I find myself wondering if you're safe, if you're taking care of yourself so that your externship goes well. But, seriously, why should I give a flying fudge how you are -- considering you've been too busy to even consider how I've been just days before our final breakup?

 

I meant it when I told you that I want nothing to do with you. Absolutely nothing. So it really frustrates me why I still think of you. I just want to forget you. Forever. I wish I could've wiped all of my memories that were attached to you. I honestly do want to let go and move on.

 

PS. I hope you had fun at the two weddings on Saturday. Hope that clarified some things for you.

[Cope]

I am such a mess. I did not expect this to be that hard. I really cared about you and still do. I can't believe that it wasn't the distance that didn't let us evolve this relationship. I know you had feelings for me and i am sure you still had them when we broke up. I am sure that they would be stronger if there was no distance between us. Then there is this voice deep inside my head that is telling me that it wasn't the distance, it just wasn't "meant to be" and that's supposed to be ok. It's also telling me that i knew it all along. Just like you did when you said you do not want to dig deeper to see what you are feeling and why, today i am choosing not to dig deeper. If it was the distance or not, it doesn't matter. I don't care. I love you, i know you shared/share similar feelings, we had a marvelous time we could have been happier, it just didn't happen. If it is to happen, it will. People tell me it is healthier to let go, they are right, this is my way of letting go. I won't dig deeper and i will let "fate" do the rest.

 

I miss you and probably will for a long long time. Goodbye.

[snowpeachdoll]

Hi, It's been about 5 days without contact. I miss you and slowly I know I am moving on. I can last a day distracting myself not to think of you and sometimes I fail. My daily routine was always about you. Although I'm learning a lot from here. I realized that we were both victims and so there is no one to blame. I might still not ready yet to talk to you as you are not ready to talk to me. I know I need to move on from you. Accept the fact that you'll never come back. I'm slowly learning that I didn't deserve all these and that I need to love myself or nobody will. I have long forgotten that since I depended my happiness on you. I know it was wrong. So right now, maybe this is our chance to set things right. And if ever we are really meant to be, I know that we will meet. But I won't hope for it anymore.

[Labhrais85]

Hey, you've been in my head most of the past week, and I just cant get you out of my mind today. Im so down, its finally really hitting me that this is over, Im not going to look at my phone one day and see a watsapp message notification from you, not going to have you send me your silly Friday selfies anymore or make plans with me anymore.

 

Your birthday is a couple of weeks away, and again, its hitting me that I shouldn't care about that date anymore. It wont involve me, and even if you do think of me on your birthday youll likely be thinking that you hope to god you don't hear from me. This is so sh*t. I guess I never thought this would be final, and now it feels like Im at square one again. This is just a really crappy time, itll pass and theres nothing I can do anyway that will make it better. I haven't cried in years, but feel the need to this past week, and the thoughts of you being with another guy is really hurting me now. Maybe I should've gone through this weeks ago and I was avoiding it, but its time to deal with it now.... I really hope youre well and happy tho.

[JSB]

Ok so officially today I am going to start the NCR.... The last few months have been the worst that they ever were. Not really fighting but just butting heads.. not really communicating well, seeing one another and slowly my "whatever he is" just stopped contacting me as he used to. He was busy working a few jobs to take care of some things. Rarely made time for me. It was hurtful...anyway, I got really upset about 2 weeks ago when he was over. We hugged when he left and I haven't seen him since. He's barely spoken to me. I have asked, though I know, what was wrong.. hoping we could open the door to talk about it and he said he wasn't mad. Anyway, he did not show up last week when we were supposed to see one another. Last Thursday he stopped responding to my messages, calls etc. Needless to say the last few days have been rough.. . He doesn't even have the balls to say anything about it. Just stopped speaking to me. I told him I was worried and after 4 days, "GM im ok" was the only time he's respond.. nothing else. .So as of today, I am just going to stop contacting him. I am heart broken but I'm not the first or the last. ..But I am definitely feeling too old to deal with this.

[snowpeachdoll]

I hear about a song just now with these lines

"do you ever think about me? do you ever cry yourself to sleep in the middle of the night?

are you calling out for me"

 

It made me cry like hell. Why is the universe keep pestering me with every memories of you even if I try to just build my walls away from you? I miss you and I know you don't care about me anymore. I am having a hard time right now. Still I wish you are happy. This pain is so unbearable and it kills me everyday. I long so much for your arms wrapped around me. And everyday, I see the chances fading away. So yes slowly I'm accepting you will never cross my path. I'd never see you again. I keep repeating that to myself. I hope you'd hold on to this strength. I wish you well and I'll pray for you always until the pain fades away.

[Capttrae]

Today is Ry's birthday. He's 11, hard to belive it's been 5 years that I've been a part of his life. I say I wouldn't change a thing, but there are times that if I could go back to that night in December and just keep my damn mouth shut and just drug you in the shower with me and hugged you instead saying what I did I would, or that morning in April when I bought my boat and you said why not buy me a car, the words were right on the tip of my tounge I almost said if you'll marry me right now. Damn I miss my family.

Yes I know I'm with Steph but there's just something missing with her and it's not her fault. But what's missing is you and Ry.

[gypsybird87]

Two weeks ago today we spoke for what was probably the very last time. You seemed so panicked, wanting me to agree to stay in contact, to be your friend, to hold your hand while you search for a woman you can *really* love in the magical, unicorns-n-rainbows manner that you seem to require. I said no. You chose this path, now you get to walk it alone. Or at least, without me by your side.

 

So... how's that going?? I know your work schedule is insane right now. Six day weeks, 10-14 hour days. You must be exhausted. And yet, am I a bad person that I find it sort of amusing that your commute is an hour each way, when it could be half an hour? Because you pass right by my house every morning, and every night. I shouldn't think stuff like that. I know. I guess there is a little part of me that's still throbbing with hurt, that wants you to hurt too, even if that hurt is just lack of sleep and wasted gas money. Sigh.

 

I'm guessing you haven't had much chance to cruise for your Shiny New Woman yet. Not with that schedule. And so you may still be missing me a bit. Missing the companionship, missing the hours of hot, sweaty sex. Maybe even missing my washer and dryer,... since you are back to using the local Laundromat now. Ha. Have fun with that! (Oops, sorry... got bitter and mean again. Bad gypsybird. Stop that!)

 

Anyway, once you have time to date, you'll probably forget all about me. If you haven't already. And you'll probably be relieved that we didn't stay friends, because the kind of high maintenance, demanding b*tch you seem to be in search of would likely not tolerate you hanging out with the girl you dated/slept with for a year and a half. So whatever companionship, acceptance and support you need, I hope she can provide it for you. Because I won't be there to do so. Personally I think you're in for a serious reality check, but whatever... not my problem.

 

So, how am I feeling about you? Well. I can't say hindsight is 20/20, but two weeks of solid NC has me to maybe 20/60 or so. I'm seeing our relationship a lot more clearly now. What it was. What it wasn't. What worked. What didn't. Why it was probably always destined to fail, because it takes two people to make a relationship work, and you were only providing about 2/3 of yourself. Maybe not even that much, who knows. I've also discovered that you are more insecure, selfish and weak that I previously realized. Unfortunately, so am I. There is work to be done before I try to date again, that's for sure.

 

I still love you. Part of me will probably always love you. But the "in love" with you part of me is fading fast. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Another thread was recently posted talking about the same thing. It feels sad to watch this part of me dying away. It's the flipside closure to the relationship, I guess... so it feels final in a different way than our breakup did. You not in love with me = door swinging closed. But me no longer in love with you? That's the door actually closing and locking forever on a future that will not happen. And even if you were to change your mind and knock on that door someday, I'm pretty sure it will stay closed and locked. Why would I let you in again? If you really wanted to be here, you wouldn't have left. And that's really all there is to say.

[IAmFCA]

Not intended to post here. Mostly that feeling of wanting some excitement, something about which to be excited. And i do. Have my weekend coming soon. That will be perfection. Have this lingering residue. I guess, technically, I'm the one who blew you off ( in the American sense! ). With you I wonder - does your respect for a woman diminish as she engages with you? Have I ever understood you properly? Do you remember being friends with me? Remember lunch? Remember 2016 goals? Did you observe your own glass bowl nature and check yourself? Give up trying to pretend with me? Fall in lust with Miss May? And did I tire of you, or just take a rest? Have I lost respect for you? I liked you and you liked me, as people and as gendered adults. And then you dropped into gaming mode again. I find that aspect of you tiresome and a waste of my time. It's why I didn't text you and haven't texted since. If you're going to be jockeying for position, then is your partner subordinate or co conspirator? Can she be the latter?

 

So, boom, it's a week. You go months, women call you back. You say friends only. Then you let it go where it goes. So, no. Can't call you. Not for a time.

 

Kindness. Authenticity.

 

Hmm. I would kiss my fighter pilot tomorrow if i could. Perhaps I never actually liked you. I do not like being obliged to work against you in order to protect my own interests. That's just, stupid. And yet you set it up that way, over and over.

[allfalldown]

Why did you send me that text message yesterday?

Is it not obvious that i don't want to hear from you?

Could it be that your little world.is starting to unravel?

 

I heard that your temper got you into trouble at work the other day. Is that your only outlet now that you have to be on your best behaviour with the blonde? That you have to keep up your charade of being the perfect woman at home?

People are talking, you know. And not in a way you would like. People are starting to see the person you really are.

 

You really want to know if I'm ok?

 

Yes. I am.

It will take years to undo the damage that you have done.

But you can't damage me any more.

So, in that respect, I'm doing great.

 

Your real self is starting to show. The face you kept for me is becoming public.

 

Carry on with your smear campaign against me while i maintain a dignified silence.

 

Despite what you believe, it's not my reputation that is taking a battering.

 

The blonde is just a carbon copy of you. You will either make or break each other.

I've kept my promise to myself and to you. I'm working on making me better, dealing with my issues.

You continue to escalate yours.

And without me, you have nowhere to hide

[snowpeachdoll]

Will you break down my walls and take me back please

[JSB]

I don't even know what is truly going on with us but this is really killing me.not waking up to you, or not waking up to your good morning messages..not being able to call you and talk to you about my crazy day, hear your laugh - your smile... your teasing me while I'm asleep.

Things got crazy in our lives and I let it get the best of me . I'm sorry . I said things out of anger.

The saddest thing is you hugged me when you left and we have never even really said goodbye - I thought that was see you later. Texting you, calling you and not hearing back...it's painful.

I wish I could take those things back. With all the stress we are both dealing with, I guess I made it worse. I wish we could start fresh. I wish I stopped pushing you. The last week few months have been rough... but the last 2 weeks, not seeing you has been miserable. I never thought I'd be without you. I just want you to call me and tell me things will be ok. That you forgive me. Everyday I tell myself, it will get better.. I am not sure when that feeling will actually ring true. I love you. I miss you. JJ

[pettyLies]

I truly wish I could turn back the hands of time, to the beginning. Unfortunately I entered a relationship lost and indecisive, leaving you to hold the relationship together. You really tried and when I was finally ready you had already moved on emotionally. One issue led to another, you sought comfort in your FWB and now it's a perpetual cycle. You do what you have to do but no more of break ups to make up.

 

It's close to 3 weeks since "I threw our relationship out the window" as you stated in the email and accusing me of perpetrating a lie. No, I haven't done anything more than what I've already told you when I was begging for another chance. I'm sorry, you're cynical ways are now unbearable to me. I applaud you though for having thick skin in this world. It just sucks that if the tables were turned (like they have been in the past) I would've had a open heart towards the situation instead of being a major .

 

But alas, you're making me see how ridiculous this whole charade is now. I don't want to be conditioned and accept this cycle. Thank you for breaking up with me, I know as I weep this is for the greater good. In time I will have true happiness and I sincerely wish you the same.

 

Ps. Thanks for being an in the email, helped me continue my NC ^_^

[ragdoll15]

You and I both knew that this was how it was going to end and yet it still doesn't seem quite real. I have sunbeam moments where I can imagine being happy and moving on without you in my life at all. I have moments where I want to reconcile. I have moments where I can imagine being the friend you wanted me to be. All of these thoughts come and go through the day, and I'm not sure what to make of it. It's hard to keep busy, but it's easy to keep busy at the same time -- if you know what I mean (which you surely do).

 

I'm sure I don't want to live yet another day stuck in the past, but I miss you. You said, "If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me." I do, and I choose not to. I don't know if two months from now I'll have gained the clarity to know for sure that you're dead wrong for me. But I do know that I'm scared of letting go, and that fear is the only thing holding me back. I've accepted that you've actually been quite terrible for me. But I'm soft hearted and a bit in denial. I don't think you know what love means. Maybe I don't either. But you definitely don't know what it means.

[goodbyetoyou]

I waited for you, like the fool that I am. I counted down each day waiting for that call. To hear your voice again, to feel comfort knowing that you're still around. I know that it's a step backwards because I still love you but at the same time I don't care, because I love you. You never did contact me even though you said you would. I imagine all these scenarios where you've met another woman and you're laughing and smiling. It crushes me. I don't know why I'm still holding out hope. I miss you.

[SydneyGirl]

I have so much anger for you that has built up over such a long time. I can't believe I have let you walk all over me for such a long time. You showed me just enough of your good side to make me tolerate your horrible nasty side. I don't know why i let it happen like this for so many years. You never respected me. Our relationship was founded on lies and disrespect and still I was fool enough to hold on, hoping for change. I can't hold on anymore. You're making me into someone I hate. Someone resentful and angry. I need to let it go but I can't do that while you are in my life. You act like this is a joke and like you know I will soften eventually but this time it's for real.

[gypsybird87]

So. Today is your birthday. And we are currently in week three of 100% no contact. I've seen many posts on here about texting (or being tempted to text) and wishing an ex happy birthday. I can be totally honest and say I feel no such compulsion. Not even the slightest temptation, because of my memories of your birthday last year.

 

It was a Thursday, and though you told me you didn't want to "do anything special" for your birthday, I had no reason to think we wouldn't see each other that night. That morning I texted you "Happy Birthday! Hope your day is off to a great start." Probably with some cute kissy emoticons too. I don't remember. No response. Later in the day, I sent you a flirty text, referencing sex and ice cream and how much I was looking forward to seeing you later. No response. First my feelings were hurt, then I got annoyed.

 

A friend was visiting from out of town and asked me and couple of other mutual friends to get together after work for drinks. I called you first, to try and confirm what our evening plans were. The call dropped into voicemail, and I left a message, which of course you didn't return. My annoyance started to shift to concern. Where were you? Were you okay? Had something bad happened?? I accepted the drink invite, but I was distracted and didn't enjoy being out with my friends. All I could think of was you. I wanted to keep texting and calling, but I didn't. I went home miserable and confused, not knowing if I should be worried or angry or hurt or what.

 

FINALLY, just after 10:30pm.... you texted me. You said you hate your birthday, because you have so many bad memories of past birthdays associated with your ex-wife. So every year, you turn off your phone and hide from the world. You interact with no one, and just lay low until the day is over.

 

Really?! So.... you knew that was how you'd be spending the day, and you couldn't warn me ahead of time? I would have given you your space and left you alone. But because you were too selfish/lazy/inconsiderate/whatever to tell me this, MY entire day was ruined too! After you finally sent that text I was so relieved to know you were okay. I offered to come over, talk, not talk, just be whatever you needed in that moment. Because I loved you and wanted to help. You refused, and said you wouldn't be very good company.

 

A few days later we talked about it. I told you I understand having bad memories associated with certain days. I definitely do. And it sucks having a history of bad birthdays in your past. However... you're making a *choice* to let that trend continue, so that every birthday going forward is a bad one too. Why do that?? Why not reclaim it, and turn it back around into something good again? Especially when you have people who love you, who want to be with you and help make the day a good one. You listened to what I said. You didn't really reply. I wondered what you were thinking in that moment.

 

Now it's a year later. How are you spending this day? It's gloomy and gray outside, perfect for sulking. You had a team training scheduled today. Did you go? Or did you make up some lie, some excuse why you couldn't attend, so that you could go ahead and host your annual pity party instead? I'm really curious. Maybe having something planned, where people are depending on you, helped force you out of your funk today. Or maybe my words from last year sunk in. Or maybe you're hiding at home alone, just like always. I don't know if you're dating any one yet, but if so I hope you had the courtesy to inform her *ahead of time* that she should expect you to be a self-absorbed, pathetic a-hole today. But you couldn't manage to do that for me last year, and we'd been dating seven months at that point.

 

I'm really annoyed with you right now, as I think back to last year. It's not just the birthday thing. It's everything. All your ex-wife baggage.... really? Four years later? SET IT DOWN, and step away. Or least handle it yourself and stop expecting the new women in your life to help you tote it around. You're 43 today. Grow the f*ck up.

[IAmFCA]

Ex of whenever that was - I did not see you last night, I do not miss you, nothing about you. I thought of your gf on my way out, and knew if we saw each other she would win the leg contest that happens in your 2D brain. I thought, yup, hers are better. Shrug. I just. Dont. Care. I don't want to be either one of you.

 

The guy I met today is her neighbor. I doubt I'll end up at his home. Too bad. Funny nonetheless to know you'd see my car in a place where you think you're isolated.

 

Ex not an ex - it's good we don't connect. Better to let that lie rather than experience it. We'd run out of runway, crash and burn, and never take off.

 

Old ex, I am so grateful for you now!

 

All other exes. You are nice. I hope you find someone nice. Last ex, watch out for that codependent streak in you.

 

 

God bless the child that's got her own. I'm focused on my work my friends my kids. I don't need you or want you, unless I really find you compelling. It's just not enough.

[treesandbees]

I remember how you'd call all these other men and women unfortunate looking and basically slag them off repeatedly ..like you were above all of them.. I think life has a way of giving people what they deserve to reflect just how ugly they are on the inside and apparently you got what you made fun of for years, do I think you've grown and evolved as a person and can suddenly see past the physical, oh hell no..you are using her like a second mommy with a cash card and probably having a hotter side chick. Daddy's mirror image boy as I always said.

[IAmFCA]

I remember how you'd call all these other men and women unfortunate looking and basically slag them off repeatedly ..like you were above all of them.. I think life has a way of giving people what they deserve to reflect just how ugly they are on the inside and apparently you got what you made fun of for years, do I think you've grown and evolved as a person and can suddenly see past the physical, oh hell no..you are using her like a second mommy with a cash card and probably having a hotter side chick. Daddy's mirror image boy as I always said.

 

I dated this guy too, lol.

[JustAGoodGuy]

I truly wish we could've ended on better terms, whether we became friends or not, but there's clearly no reasoning with you anymore, so goodbye "R". I've had the patience of a saint while trying to talk to you lately, but enough's enough. Things are finally starting to fall into place with my life, just like you wanted from me, just like I knew was going to happen, and just like I needed you to have the patience for. But even after having things start going my way, and I should be feeling happier, there's still something (someone) missing. I have no one to share my good news with and I get sad. You bailed on me during a tough time though, so as much as it tears me apart inside, I know deep down that you don't deserve to be a part of my life during the best. I wish I had good things to say, but honestly, this lack of communication and inability to reason with you has left me with no choice but to make conclusions that leave me with an awful taste in my mouth that will never go away. I'm truly disgusted. Seriously, what the f*** happened to you? Do I even know you? You sure as hell ain't the same person I met. The person I met was loyal, loving, caring, understanding, and would've always been there for me, even before our relationship when we were just friends.