Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[healing4good]

(I got this idea from another forum I visit frequently, if one like this already exists by all means ignore / delete this one.)

 

OK, it seems a few of us have had a rough time with the darned NC. I had fantasies today of unloading all this anger, longing, and "W-T-F" onto my ex. I am creating this thread as a place for all of us in pain to post instead of contacting Ms/Mr ex. It could actually be kind of fun, at least a release.

 

What would you like to tell him or her? Even if it's been building up for years, post it here! Rage-fest! Longing-fest! DO NOT CONTACT that frigging ex, put it all here!!

 

Ohh I read this too late

[Enn]

I'm a bit scared to tempt fate, but I'm utterly astonished to say...since you left yesterday morning I've felt better and better. I'd sort of mentally scheduled the next week to sob and lie in bed but I haven't shed a single tear and I'm actually EXCITED about the next week, for the first time in ages. Thanks for being so unpleasant this past couple of months, and so flaky the past year...you've made it really, really easy for me.

[janut1]

I am doing so much better then I thought I would after breaking up with you. But, I still wish I could tell you that I didn't ever fall in love with you. You didn't allow that. You kept me at arms length and never really let me in. I wish you were able to let me in and get close to you, but you just couldn't do it. You would talk about everything but us. I am a bit surprised that I haven't heard anything from you, not even a Im sorry. After a year of dating, I was thinking you might want to at least see if I was okay, but NOPE! This just proves to me that you really didn't care that much and that I wasted a year of time and energy on someone who didn't deserve my time or energy. I guess I really was nothing to you and meant nothing to you. Sad, but its the end and I am guessing I will never hear from you again.

[Cherrybomb3]

Even though it was the right thing to block you on everything, I can't help but feel pretty cut up right now. I playback the things you did and have said and there's just this deep heaviness in my heart. I really have nothing to say to you, I know I did the right thing in ending this but still...It hurts. Afterall, we did spend nearly two years together, that can't be erased. The fact that we're now completely done just devastates me.

 

I cried last night and had difficulty sleeping. Since we left things on a messy note, I wonder if there's any part of you that has regretted what you had said to me. I guess you thought I'd let it slide again, that's why you started freaking when you realised I had blocked you.

Anyway, that's all in the past now. Time to move on.

[Cherrybomb3]

I'm really going to miss you. I'm really going to miss everything.

[Cherrybomb3]

I've been feeling waves of sadness today. Just wanted to say that the prospect of not having you in my life is going to be so hard to handle. I'm already struggling. I love you.

[Cthun]

I just want you to know that I'm not ignoring you, its just that seeing you or talking with you is way too painful for me. I hope you understand.

[Cthun]

And before you leave the school... I just want to tell you; you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

[OliviaPope]

Hello everyone. I am 8 days NC. It seems like a small victory but for me it really is cause to celebrate. The break up was pretty painful and horrid so there isn't really a reason to stay in contact. In fact I have been cycling through so many feelings that any contact would likely be contradicting. I am angry or a while and then sad. I sometimes feel altogether numb. I am pretty depressed overall and have been struggling just to get up and goto work. I know that getting out of this mess is going to take work and each day of NC helps me to see that I have the self control, self reliance and ability to do for myself what I thought my ex was going to do for me. I just wanted to post to say thank you to everyone out there reading this. I am here to support folks going through something similar and to seek support from you as well.

[OliviaPope]

Hey, it's been a week and a day since we last spoke or saw each other. I am doing ok. I'd like be doing a lot better than I am but i am sure in time I will get there. Everything just seems so bland and colorless without you in it. At the same time I am not pressed for time and anxious that you will accuse me of cheating on you if I am eve a few minutes late getting home. YOU were the cheater. You left your wife. You dated married women. YOU DID.

 

I am making my apartment my home; my safe place. I love it. When I drive up my street to get home I am smiling and glad to have my own space that has nothing to do with you. I also have friends and family that is helping me through this whole process. I am doing ok and getting better with each passing day.

 

What are you doing? Sitting at home getting high and drinking? Maybe a video game or too peppered in there? Nice job in processing what happened. You are so delayed in everything. At 46 years old I would expect more from you. You disappointment me.

 

The last time we spoke you said you approve of everything I am doing. I don't remember asking you for approval. In fact, I did it all on my own having no input or support from you so what makes you think you can say that to me? You also said you stopped loving me "several" times. Wow, that was a total surprise to hear. It also hurt. You pulling a houdini was also hurtful. You should have just cut me loose - say what you needed to and moved on sot hat I could as well. Instead you kept me hanging on in utter confusion.

 

Don't you come back when I have finally moved on. I will hate you if you do. Just stay away.

[Cherrybomb3]

Time away has made me see how chaotic our relationship was. We were very much in love, but we weren't right for each other.

No matter how much I loved you, it wouldn't change that fact.

[PearlHarbor]

I hate this. You tempted me by reaching out two weeks ago and reminding me that I did enjoy our banter/sharing, but I struggle with the fact I know it's not fair or healthy for me to be a part of your ego-stroking selfish pattern (will it change?). Yet all I wanted to do last week was tell you about my meeting with XYZ company [breaking MY sobriety].

 

PVC bread with duct tape is inedible and poisonous.

[Cope]

I miss you. I freakin miss you sooooo bad. I can't help the memories flooding my mind. All i want to do is talk to you again. Sometimes i think i can do it without expecting anything else from you, then i imagine us having to say goodbye again. I imagine the agony of checking the phone to see if you will text me again. I was wondering if you think about me at all. Do you miss me? Do you want to try again?

 

I miss you.

[dunfalma]

for the last couple of weeks ive been thinking of you and missing you and wishing halfheartedly we could meet. it is like there is a mini void inside of me. but before that i felt fine. you have a new job now. 4.5 months of no contact - when will i be over this??

[Cope]

I just really, honestly, truly miss him. Right now i was closer to thinking "what harm can an how are you text do?"...A LOT. I may be repeating myself, but i do not want to go back to waiting for his reply. I do not want to expect more than he can give me. I want to reach the point where texting him every once in a while will be just out of true friendly care, if that can ever happen.

 

I miss you!!!

[Playing nice]

I don't know why I feel the way I do I was the one who instigated the end of us but why have you moved on so quickly? Why don't you want to speak to me? Why has the past 26 years just disappeared? I can't get you out of my head why? My heart is broken and I feel useless I feel like nothing ever mattered did you ever love me? I know you did I know that at one time you would have died for me so why have you just cut me off? Do you hate me? Why are you the only one I want to talk to? why are you the only one that makes me feel better? I don't want to go back I don't want us to be together but I do want you you were my friend and I miss you why don't you care? Please care please help me to stop crying my heart is aching please make it stop

[OliviaPope]

I am on fourteen days of NC. I am restless and yet tired all the time. I think about my ex several times a day. Sometimes it's a flash of a memory. Sometimes it's a feeling from our past that washes over me.

 

We live in the same city only ten minutes away from each other and I know he is out there. I fear running into him one day as I am not ready to see him. I might not ever be ready for that.

 

I am hurt and angry. I sometimes ache when I realize he ended things in such a cruel way.

 

I am working on myself and trying to establish self love. I want to come out of this breakup with a better sense of self. Right now I am just letting days pass hoping enough will go by so I can feel somewhat better.

[Cope]

8 days. You're still not counting.

I just wanted to say good morning and find out how you are doing. I won't. I don't cry as much, but I still miss you. It seems like months have passed and is only been 10 days. I would really love to know if you are missing me like I miss you. I'm sure you are not. Even if you miss me a little bit, don't tell me.

 

I can't wait to talk to you in 22 days but if those pass and I still can't wait to talk to you, I won't. I don't know if we can be friends, maybe you think we can cause you moved on? I don't think we can be friends.

 

Were you relieved when I asked for no contact? Did I mean anything to you? Questions like these keep popping in my head and I tear them down cause I know I am worthy of love, I know you had feelings more me, you just don't now. I wish we could have not hold back and give it an honest try but now I know we couldn't. If the feelings between us and the qualities I saw in us are as real and strong as I feel them now, we will probably be together at some point, if not, by then, I won't care if we are.

 

8 days and you're not counting.

[allfalldown]

Thanks for the postcard from Barcelona.

I know it was meant to hurt me and to a degree it has been successful.

The memories we made together will take me time to process and separate so.that one day i may cherish them.

I need to separate them.from the control and the nastiness and emotional abuse that also form a large.part of my memeories of you.

 

It's refreshing to see that you can make new memories with the woman you cheated on me with and threw me out for.

 

By showing you are taking her to all the places we went, you are proving nothing more to me than the fact that you will never change. You have nothing new to add to your repertoire.

 

With time, these things you do will no.longer hurt me, and i will begin.to pity the new woman more and.more because i know what is in store for her after the shine and newness wears off.

[Capttrae]

Your not an ex yet but I'm pretty sure you will be before long. I can't deal w/ your needy clingy behavior I will not deal w/ being accused of being unfaithful if I wanted to screw around on you all if have to do is go to the bar, order a drink and let the females know I just got home from offshore and bam I'd have more women willing and ready than I can shake a stick at. I also will not tolerate another 3 day tirade of you picking everything apart in our relationship. You say you need to be talked to, you need to feel loved,well tell me how the fu I'm suspposed to do that when u get jealous of everything and everybody including the dog!!?!?!!! Hell I can't talk to you about any of my Fn problems any til I try you just blow it off, and I'm suspposed to listen to yours?!!!?!?!? Worst thing about this break up is I'm more than likley going to loose my little sweetheart, your daughter, and that's going to seriously suck!!!!! You know why I'm going to loose her? Bc you are the most hardheaded female critter I've ever laid eyes on and you hold grudges from years ago, hellsfire your still mad at some dude that dumped you in the 10th grade and that was 25 years ago. Who does that????? My god grow up. If the way you talked to me the last couple times home is the way you talked to the kids dad and your ex bf before me it's a pure wonder they didn't ditch you long time before they did, or maybe they were more whipped or some such. I keep Coal, if you want to work out a custody agreement I've got no problem w/ that if not that's cool too, he can stay w/ Derrick while I'm gone and w/ me while I'm home.

[Capttrae]

And yes I have sat here this past 2 weeks and stewed on this

[Silverbirch]

I'm giving you what I think you have wanted for a long time - I'm just going to fade out of your life and disappear. I made so many excuses for how you treated me over the years, but when all is said and done, that's not how men treat women who they love. I know my exit from your life will be no great loss. Maybe you will be relieved. I loved you so much and maybe still do, but Zi just can't take it anymore.

[Mellnjh]

I wish I never met you. You made my life a living hell and now I'm stuck burning, trying to heal the parts of me that you destroyed.

[goodbyetoyou]

I can't believe I broke NC. I was doing so well and now I feel so embarrassed that I contacted you. I am so mad at myself! My anxiety is going overboard waiting for your reply. Why did I do it?!

[Cecilia724]

Well it finally happened. You texted me last week. I kept wondering and at times wishing you would and now that you finally did, i dont know how to feel about it.

 

Part of me is happy to hear from you. You're still thinking about me, missing me, I'm on your mind like you've been on mine. I so badly want to reach out to you. I want to talk to you again and part of me would do anything just to talk to you again. I want to wish you well back, I want you to know I hope you're feeling better because your depression had a hand in our break up. My god do I want to talk to you.

 

But the other part of me is angry. Its pissed. How dare you contact me after all this time! I was doing so well and 1 text feels like its undone me so much. 1 text is all it took to shake me to my core. How dare you think your apology means anything to me after you hurt me, after you lied to me and betrayed me! I believed in you, I introduced you to my family, a first for me, because I believed in you and in the end you betrayed me in the cruelest way. How dare you reinsert yourself into my life. Do you think your words brought me any solace? You're so selfish.

 

I've been so close to breaking NC so many times now because of your text. But somehow, i havent. I dont know how, but I havent. Maybe because I dont know what to say, or because i know you'll hurt me more. I'll wish you well, then what? I'll want to talk to you more, but that might not happen. It just wont be healthy for me, i cant do it. You made your choice, you need to live with them or reconcile our relationship, and i know you wont do the latter. So leave me alone.