Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[INxJ]

Ever since you've broken up with me, I haven't had a proper day of mourning. No time to really reflect about what has happened and allowed myself to shed the tears that I needed to. Writing to you here, helps me do that. Writing this here for some reason makes my mind to try to connect to you and express how I feel, and it really hurts.

 

I think about all the times we've gazed into each other's eyes, smiled, and embraced. How can everything move so fast? Was it even real for you? I don't know. How can you tell me that you needed a lot of alone time when you were with other guys, but not with me, but then suddenly you needed space and didn't communicate that to me well? Or was I not listening?

 

I've tried to think of all the negative points about you to try to get you out of my mind. To take you off that pedestal and look to someone better, but that hasn't really worked out so well.

 

I hate that you made me feel like the woman in the relationship and that you were the guy. What the hell was going on with us? I'm sick of thinking about it and really, really want to get over you.

[neverknowwhy]

It's about time I face the music and accept the reality of what is and what isn't. You're over me and I'm not over you. You are most likely with someone new and that means that I will never hear from you again. I will not reach out to you. It's the way it has to be, but it's not what I ever wanted.

 

I wish I could go back and see where I went wrong, but I'll never know. You thought I was selfish and possessive. It's because of all the things that you've done that I let go. I could never trust you. What kind of relationship is that? It's honestly for the best that you and I are no more even though I still am not over you. It's getting a little ridiculous. One minute I think fondly of you and am just heartbroken that you are not in my life anymore. The next minute I remind myself of what you said and what type of person you actually are. That's why I post here. To get out my thoughts so I can just move on with my day and avoid contacting you.

 

I remembered something today. A few days before you ended things, you told me on the phone how you wished I was there with you. Then suddenly things changed and you tossed me. Why was that? It was because of that new guy. You wanted to be with someone else, someone that you could actually date. Someone who wasn't 1000 miles away. Maybe I'm just saying that to hide the truth that I wasn't the right person for you. But you are not the right person for me.

 

It's a sad joke how much I think of you.

[sunshine34]

I'm stressed out and I'm not really feeling okay even though I should be on top of the world. My interviews have been going so well that as long as I nail one in person im probably going to get an offer. But now my parents are stressing me out trying to control the process again setting me back mentally making me think it's gonna be impossible for me to make it.. My dad is saying he's gonna pull my car insurance and all this stuff... I'm already goig to be acquiring a rent payment and now he's giving me another thing on top of all the stuff I have to pay... I half wonder if it's bc he doesn't want me to go, to hold me back. Back to the reason I'm posting here.. It's been hard not to share the exciting well up until this stress, exciting news with you and it's made me feel more alone. I'm afraid of not being able to love again and not having a family. I'm angry. Angry at you for even remotely being able to say to me that you cared about me and proceeded to ignore me all that time. Completely taking me for a fool that can accept bull words when your actions clearly show u don't care for me. It hurts me so deeply. I hate you

[kalika66]

How could you be so cold, how could you move on with her without even looking back at me. 3, nearly 4 years I gave to you and you can't even respond to me. I know why, because you're guilty and can't face up to It. You'll not speak to me now I know, me saying that I want out of your drama will have ensured that, and I won't speak to you either. I need to take you not speaking to me as an opportunity to move on, without you trying to win me over with your constant lies and manipulation. I genuinely believe that you're a narcissist, incapable of genuine human emotion, living and preying on people, their vulnerabilities and kindness in order to receive constant admiration. It doesn't matter who the admiration cones from, as long as it's coming thick and fast. I guess you can tell you've drained me dry, I've started to see you for.what you are so im no good to you anymore, you've moved onto fresh meat.

[brokenhearted1]

I am not going to call you and tell you how much I miss you.....

[kalika66]

Was told I'll be getting made redundant today. You were the first person I thought to tell. Maybe I'm craving your familiarity to make me feel better. I feel so lost and alone, like every time things seem to be getting better they just get worse. I know I can't cave in now, not when it comes toyou and not when it comes to fighting the hardship. I just hate it that we couldn't work. Why couldn't you be there to support me, why do you have to be so useless and dysfunctional?

[sunshine34]

This morning is hard, I find during the week to be much easier especially this past one because I was so busy and postively focused on all these interviews. This weekend is the second weekend without talking and lAst weekend was easy bc I had just decided to let it go and the anger was fresh. I am proud of myself because I still know this is the right decision , I finally waited until I got all the information I needed to believe and understand one way or the other if we are supposed to be together. Well, we aren't. Even after waitng a week for u to prove you cared you still couldn't on the day u said u would and then tried to back pedal and blame me. I could no longer accept blame and draw excuses for you not giving a that I am in pain. It didn't matter how much of it I felt, everything was still somehow my fAult and the sick part is, I would've done anything for you to give me what I needed. I would've bent over backwards for you and you wouldn't do anything for me. I am glad that you are stubborn and unable to ever self evaluate and see your part in things bc I know you will never contact me. I won't have to deal w being weak , bc I still think I'm vulnerable and at this stage I would cave. So I am thankful for that spiteful nature of yours now, even though I absolutely detest it in you as a person and think it's incredibly immature. I can accept that there were things I wasn't there for you with last year, that I sidnt find a way sooner to make u feel love, but I learned from this relationship to be stronger. Since I never had you there when I needed support and I lost my best friend bc of our relationship, I learned how to be okay and make it alone. That skill has made me stronger and I've gotten less sensitive which is really important for my success in my career and for that I do thank you. The only thing I resent is that I am hRder now , It takes so much just to get me to feel and be soft and you took that from me I allowed it which was wrong too Last night I had a dream about you, I reached out to tell you about Cali and you were banging an Asian chick. I drove 3 hours to see u bc u were visiting somewhere and u got a message about going to nyc w "the girls" and u left . I was angry Nd freaking out at u and u remained stoic, as if nothing I said mattered at all. And it just reminded me of exactly how that makes me feel, in that way I was able to draw strength to help soothe waking up and feeling alone. That's fje saddest part, the unfulfilled dreams And promises;/. I just need to continue to understand they would never come true with you

[sunshine34]

I think of you and it hurts all over We had such a romantic epic love story and it all crumbled. I don't think I'll ever be in love like that again. I hate u for ruining it

[sunshine34]

today you seem to be all over my mind, my body and my soul and i wish it would stop, but i know I am makng progress. I'm starting to be upset over the fact that we will never be, which means I have at least let go of the here and now. THis stage seems to be the toughest, because I know after this, I will be moving on. I have adopted this new habit of hiding my fears and truths from myself , it's like I have opened up a corner in the depths of me and buried it so deep I can keep it from myself. It certainly makes the process easier, but I wonder what that means for me in the future, I don't know that I am learning or growing from doing that but you have wounded me in such a way it is unconscious. I'm hurt that you've changed so much, the problem is the only thing constant is change and people always do it. You can't stop it. This time I tried to go in with the attitude that yes people change, but we can change together. The problem is, when we went long distance you shut me off, we no longer grew together, we grew apart. I could never regain the emotional trust that you were telling me everything because you were hiding such monumental things from me, but you had no desire to change. I knew that, I just thought if you did it, and you saw how much closer and bettee we were, you'd want it to. Over xmas, I can honestly say that I had given you more of my heart and soul than I ever gave anyone else.. THat's why you had the ability to cut me so deeply with the gisel thing and the hardest part is I know if I didn't keep prying you would have never told me, yet you kept insinuating you were going to be honest and you were honest. That is where I felt betrayed, your lack of even being able to own up to the obvious deceit you pulled on me. When you took it upon yourself to stay for new years and skip work, I thought he gets it, he finally knew what I needed before I had to tell him. But you had no idea how to help me and got frustrated wuth my emotions telling me basically not to feel them HOwever, when you left, I felt like we finally reached that page of openness you had grown so far from. The only problem is it became fleeting. Again, I found myself waiting by the phone to hear from you, waiting like a sick puppy at the door, waiting for you to love me, waiting for you to need me, waiting for me to be important. I've learned it doesn't matter how mayn checks you have on your list, how many signs you tell yourself that he has to pass to prove he is x y and z, because all of it is a facade. All of it is a sick game where they win you over with someone they will never actually stay. Someone that doesn't exist. now its time to delete all traces of you on my laptop

[sunshine34]

I want to be loved, to feel love and to have love. I am miserable tonight. Miserable and in limbo, missing the you I once had, longing for something u wouldn't give. Only more deeply saddened now then I have been about it before bc I finally have to accept it won't happen instead of the fight Ive been having w u for the past 6 mos to give it to me. At first it was relieving, now it's depressing . Dating is exhausting and I don't want to do it, I fear I'll never have what we did and I'm crumbling today Please help me find strength

[Kayjayhx]

Whole did you go from loving me and telling me you care to two days later telling me that you don't feel the same way anymore? Please help me understand this.

[chino106]

i was stupid for going over to try and catch a glimpse of you, to prove that I was okay. But obviously you and your friend trying to hide from me. Thats okay, i get the hint, Im not gonna be the one holding people back so i'll remove myself. I hope I can be my myself again soon. I hate feeling like this. I wish I can hate you and forget you. Even knowing what you have done already and the things you said, all i can think about is damn i love this girl. This sucks I hope one day i can be happy again without you. I really do.

[csharpminor]

One apology is not enough. It's not okay. You hurt me. You hurt me knowingly, repeatedly, and admittedly. You broke my heart every day we were together. You knew what I needed and refused to give it to me, day after day. You acted like I didn't exist and then got angry with me for asking you why. You hurt me right where it hurts most, you know what (who) I'm talking about. You lied to me. You hid things from me. You played mind games. You tormented me purposefully. You ignored my needs, especially when I asked for your help. You forgot about me. You blamed everything on me. You made me feel like I deserved it. You made me feel like I was your last choice. You made me feel unwanted and unworthy of loving. When I was with you I felt the lonely and neglected.

 

You have probably forgotten about me by now, hell you forgot about me while we were still together. Just know this. You could have had me forever. Because that's what I wanted with you. But you made me feel so terrible for so long that I had to free myself. Being alone is so much less lonely than being with you. And I have people who actually love me, and treat me as such.

 

It's unfortunate that I wasted so much time with you. I wish I never met you but at least now I know what I won't stand for in a future partner. Now please, get out of my head. Get out of my life. I don't exist to you so you shouldn't exist to me.

[IAmFCA]

Hahaha I'm not contacting you.

[eveningdusk]

I hate the fact that you get to be with someone else. After all the crap you sprouted about not having time for a relationship and focusing on yourself and your son. You get to be with someone so soon and I don't. It's not fair and you don't deserve it. You hurt me, used my insecurities against me and lied to me. All while seeming like a good and decent human being.

 

It's not even that which tears me up. It's the fact that I still feel things for you and that you couldn't wait to get rid of me, to move onto someone who was better in all the ways that matter to you... I had a date yesterday and he wasn't you. It hurt and I hate you for still being in my head and heart when I left yours even before we broke up.

 

I guess though I'm really the one who is better off. You're probably telling her the same things you told me. How you have trouble opening up and that she is the only one who can fix you because of how great she is. How you've never felt this way etc etc but as soon as you realise she can't fix the mess inside you. She'll fall off that pedstal, like me and all those girls before me and you'll put your cold heartless walls up. I was naive once and I paid the price. I hope this new one will see through you before you hurt her as much as you hurt me.

[Tind]

I wish I had posted here instead of sending a couple of humiliating text to my ex..which he has not responded to which set me back to feelings of depression.. I was doing so well til that happened.. I have learned my lesson and I will not be texting him again any time soon

[Buco24]

You hurt me in every possible way! You hurt my mind, my heart and my soul! You almost made me lose faith in love!

But you know what? I still believe in love! I know that someday I will be happy again, that someday there will be someone who will love me how I deserve to be loved!

You played with me for the last 7 months and I believed you.

When you find out about my moms cancer you said you'll be there for me no matter what. For the first two weeks yeah you where there and then you stopped. You didn't ask once how I'm or my mom are doing, because you simply didn't care at all.

Everything you said before was a big lie! You were a big lie!!

You're afraid of the future, of commitment. You're the biggest pessimist I know!

I worked on myself and you said you can see it and then?! You still left.

You wanted me to be perfect, are you? There's nothing that's perfect, no one and nothing.

I hope that one day you'll wake up and think what have I done?

But then I will have moved on and will have the time of my life.

Every down has an up and every up has a down.

I am down right now and you think you're up but my friend one day I will look down on you and the only thing I will have left for you will be pity.

And that day will come and I hope sooner than later.

Soon I will have a new job and I won't have to see you every and each day. I won't need to hear your voice. I won't get to know that you plan on going to Cuba with a friend this year although we had planned a west coast trip in the states.

 

I hate myself for still not being able to forget you, to think about you. I hate myself that I still have some hope left secretly knowing you already gave up on us and moved on.

But more than that I hate you.

I hate myself for having loved you ever! For letting you in my heart.

 

I think everything happens for a reason and that I needed to live through that. But I also believe in karma, what goes around comes around and everyone will get what he deserves.

So good luck in your future!

And haha you're still wondering why I haven't texted or contacted you in some way. It's been 6 weeks we really talked, just a few words at work which I don't count. It's the first time ever that we weren't in contact for so long. So yeah this time I won't be the one contacting and fighting. I did more than anyone should do for a relationship. Now would've been your turn and you did nothing and that tells everything I need to know. Go and keep on being a coward in every situation in your life, because that's the only thing you're good at.

 

Goodbye and stay where you are, cause I don't need or want you! You don't deserve me or my love! Go and have fun with your friends but soon you will find out that your 'freedom' and friends are not the most important thing in life.

[sunshine34]

Feeling depressed and thinking of you .. I don't want u to reach out but I'm depressed u didn't that you still can't see it was u. That ur pride is trumping my feelings yet again I miss your chest and how it felt to snuggle with you, the way my heart races around you and I become consumed with the feeling of being . It's almost impossible for me to think of the future bc I always thought you'd be in it. It's like an invisible wall that I can't break but keep crashing into. I can't think about love anymore bc u are love to me and I know u don't love me so we don't exist and therefore love doesn't exist. That's almost what feels like is happening, as if love has been ripped from my world and I can never feel if of speak it again. It's a lost word , unspoken and hidden. I can't watch romantic movies anymore for fear of what it'll do to my insides. For fear they will come spilling out and I'll have nothing left to put back inside like the pumpkins we made every halloween . I can't think of you and what you're doing bc it hurts. It hurts for two reasons, one because I can see u with someone else or drinking/smoking/doing drugs anything to destroy yourself instead of facing your problems and secondly because I don't know you and I don't know what to believe . I used to know u, I used to think I could say James? He'd never do that. Now, I don't know, now I have no idea what you are capable of and I'm willing to bet it's anything. Maybe that was you all along and I was blind.

[sunshine34]

Sitting here looking at the bag I brought the last time I saw you reminds me directly of my feelings.. It's half unpacked and still sitting there untouched. I'm half unpacked in my heart about us , but the bagagge is still sitting there waiting for me to pick it up and deal with it. I honestly don't know how this time. I've been through so many heartbreaks, but this one feels different. It feels deeper and more complex, I am still confused by it and I don't want to deal w it. I don't think I'm ready It's the itch I don't want to scratch that I want to go away

[sunman79]

I'm not really sure what to say. I would like to talk in person and tell you all of my thoughts, but I know we will never talk again. You were the most amazing person to ever enter my life and I ruined it. I pushed you away and drained you by taking and draining your tank until you couldn't take it anymore. I was in a bad place and couldn't snap out of it even while you stood by my side through some very difficult times. I made some big mistakes, but never meant to hurt you. You make a difference in this world by helping people and this place is lucky to have you. Your mom still contacts me and calls me her son. It doesn't help me at all, but she was always blunt and easy to talk to. Sometimes I want to tell her I can't talk to her anymore because it's not helping me move on. I don't wish I could go back and change things, I wish we could cross paths again and have another chance. I have so many memories of us and my favorite ones are the most simple. I just hope you're happy because you deserve to be after the difficult things that have happened in your life. You love fiercely and said you would fight to the death for me. I would have done the same and will never forget that. I'm not mad, just sad and extremely hurt because of how you ended things. I sometimes sit and stare blankly trying to wrap my brain around it, but it does no good. You always said everything happens for a reason and I used to believe that, but you know what the most difficult thing about believing that is? Waiting to see what the reason is... Anyway, I'm glad that you shared your life with me and I wish you the best. I miss you.

 

"When we stand in our pain, wrap our arms around it, accept life on life's terms, we learn we are not alone. There is another set of arms around us, the pain, the situation, this moment. Then the fear dissipates and gives way to hope, and love and faith. That there is The One who has gone through pain to bring life, and He holds us in our pain to create a new place within us, for his life to grow." unkown

[Tind]

Good morning I miss you.. I miss your company..I miss being able to talk to you about anything but I have to go on..

 

You are giving me the silent treatment.. I guess you are just not good at expressing yourself.. Or you think you don't owe me anything

[Tind]

I have sent you the last text I will ever send..you haven't reply and I think if I leave w well enough alone eventually you will..weather the reply will be good or bad I don't know but you move like a snail at everything so I will give you your space to do so..

[Tind]

From now on if I ever feel like sending you a text I will post here instead.. Because it is not worth it sending it to you..it only set me back and make me feel depress..any ways hope you are having a lovely day..hopefully one day you can forgive me and see me as someone you truly love and want to be with...God bless I will pray for us to keep each other company again without the drama but with lots of love and forgiveness

[Tind]

Still up and down emotions ...I wish I can be completely indifferent and move on,..I hate feeling rejected.. Boohoo

[Coldarmy13]

Even with removing everything that reminded me of you, i still find reminders everywhere.