Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[hopelessincan]

Hey. Gawd I want to just hear your voice. I miss you, and you broke me. That's all.

[sunshine34]

I was totally fine this weekend.. I had plans to go the beach today.. And then I lost my cat and got all emotional.. Sad he was gone sad I wasn't going. Sitting in a house alone brought all kinds of emotions to me. I missed you terribly and thought really hard about where u were at that very moment, what you were doing and then I quicjly realized that was irrelevant because if I did reach out you wouldn't respond , if anything you'd be mad I contacted you.. I wonder how easy this is for you and who you are dating? Is dating easy? Did you replace me? Is she better than me? Are you happy? I know I'm not

[Thanksguys]

I am soooo angry at myself. You lied to me. Why couldn't I see it? I was so naive. I was so smug the whole time, thinking I'd found a good man. Makes it worse that we had loads of great times because now I don't know what lies you weretelling then. All I know is you lied at the end but I'm stuck wondering what else you've lied about and it's stopping me from moving on. Why did you tell me you were ill. It's all over fb that you're drinking and exercising and travelling. Doesn't seem like you're that ill then?!?! And me telling everyone that I feel so sorry for you. 'The poor man' 'it must be terrible'. It's not though is it because it's just not truuuuue!!!!

[Thanksguys]

I hate that you've moved on this quick like I was nothing.

[irish88]

Thanks for coming into my life and taking the little bit of trust I had left after years of regaining it back.

Thanks for taking all the love I had for you and watching me cry when I told you how much you were to me.

Thanks for allowing me to smile for sharing my most important deepest thoughts with you and then walking out of my life

[imtrying211]

I'm doing so much better now, but I still think about you all of the time. I think about you, about us, and about you and her together. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you went back to that disgusting person that treated you so terribly. That's what you chose though and I have no choice but to accept it. I think the break from work and not having to see you was a big help to me. I dread going back and seeing you again, because I hurt when I see you. I can't speak to you, can't even look at you. You're just someone I used to know, a memory of the best time of my life.

[Coldarmy13]

I didn't go out with friends from work because they were going to where we had our first date. I couldn't see the place where I met someone who made me so happy then so unbelievably sad and broken. I couldn't be somewhere where i know your house is only a couple minutes away.

 

A little surprised you haven't tried to contact me after your text a week after the break up. It's been almost a month since then. I ignored your message because it was still too hard.. It's probably best that I didn't hear from you again anyway. I just can't help but miss you and miss hearing from you. If you truly cared like you said you did you would've tried to reach out again. Why did you let me get as invested as I did when you knew you weren't going to be ready for it? Still love you even though you never did. Miss you, please get out of my thoughts.

[sunshine34]

I am an idiot. Completely and totally, no way around it. Last night I hit the reset button on all the progress I made, and for what? I knew before I pulled the trigger what the outcome would be, yet I still did it. So not only am I an idiot, but I'm also apparently insane. I'm shooting myself in the foot and prolonging my own process in hopes to "end the pain" when in reality all I need to do to end the pain is the exact opposite of what I did.. It's like scratching a mosquito bite, you will never heal it but it feels good and you "have to" do it in that moment, but had you waited, the wound would've closed. I made it 2 weeks this time.. After my initial reset, technically it's been 5 weeks since I broke up with you, but 3 weeks into it I had my initial break of contact to "get your addeess" which I know was my bs way of getting lclosurel which I don't actually think exists .. Only a painful way to get rejected one last time and hope that is what you remember when you have urges to contact them.. Sometimes it's enough to deter you, other times, like last night, when you mix alcohol and couples, you get a crazed ex gf horribly missing the other half of her which is accross the world and forgotten her. She convinces herself you still think of her, and that maybe this time you'll hear her... Maybe tonight you were thinking of her and all is not lost. But when she reaches out, she instantly remembers the painful truth that all is lost. And you feel nothingness towards me, so clearly reflected in your silence to my heart broken attempt to reach you. I want to tell myself this is it, third times the charm, it'll be easier this time.. But it's not. I'm 5 weeks post break up and after my spout of breaking contact I feel no differently than I did on day 1 nc the first time.. Which means I will feel just as horrible and just as inclined to contact you day 14 this time. Only I have to somehow muster up the strength to resist this time.. In hopes I'll make it out, in hopes I'll make it to the point where I begint I forget you and feel the nothingness you so blessedly live in. I feel like I'm suffocating the part of me that has a heart and I can't help but to resist, everytime I get close to killing you from my life, because I know you are alive. And as long as you are alive I wish to believe my heart lives with you.. Even though I logically know I don't exist to you. Love is cruel.

[hopelessincan]

kinda numb today. not sad, not happy, just numb. Had a complete breakdown yesterday. Starting to think that the friend I have been confiding in is actually hindering me, not helping like they think they are or think they want to. I've backed away from every one, yet no one seems to understand that I just want to be alone. They are worried about me, I get it. But I don't need stupid messages constantly. And I don't need to be pushed. Funny saying that. Cause I couldn't get it when you asked me to stop pushing.

 

I'll snap out of this too. My life has been a series of disappointments, but I always get back up. Im stronger than you think I am. Im stronger than what you have seen. We met at the wrong time. I really believe that. The girl you fell for is there still. Hell I heard what you said to your family the last time we were together. I heard you also when we were on vacation. I know you see me, Im sorry that you cant handle the rough times Ive been through. Maybe youre the weak one.

 

All I know is that Im sick of being alone. Sick of wearing my heart on my sleeve and hurting like this. You always told me you loved what a good person I was. I guess Im just not good enough to fight for. You did terrible stuff too and I know it will come back to haunt you.

 

I don't know what to do. I do love you. I know its scary. It scares me too. Almost sent you an email today. And a million texts over the last 15 days, but I restrained myself. See. I can control myself. I miss you and just want to hear your voice.

[sunshine34]

i feel like i want to give up, only there is nothing for me to give up. I am incredibly unhappy in most areas of my life right now i am too exhausted to even think of how much I am disappointed in my career.. this was supposed to be everything I ever wanted and every day I feel babied and unable to grow. No matter how much I fight I get resisted. you, you hurt me to my depths all because of who broke up with who. you act like a 4th grader and yet I can't stop my feelings. I wish I could cut them out and never need to lvoe again. it's too much work for what? I get nothing but pain fromthis feeling. you are a jerk , you couldn't even respond to me reaching out? I'm not even worth a response after all the time we spent together? after taht promise ring? after living together? you are scum

[toolovehim]

I think about you more than you ever know, none else can love you the way I do.

[sunshine34]

Having a serious down swing. Everything went wrong today technically including the fact that I didn't hear from you.. I wish I stuck to my guns.. I wish I didn't break nc the first time 5 weeks ago, maybe without your nonchalant ways I would still be hating you and remembering why I broke up with you instead of only lingering on the fact that you don't seem to care about me anymore which makes me hyper focused on only the good things about you and unable to remember the bad . Like how scrawny you were Nd how u attracted I still was to you. Your indifference to it and unwillingness to change it or your inability to please me sexually. The way you always put work first and pretended like u did it for me. Your arrogance and spiteful behavior of a two year old. All of this is supposed to make me feel better but it doesn't. The more people I meet the more I long for you and the more I know you are gone. I need to send your stuff and move on. The very last thing you said to me was "forget me" there wasn't one I love you in there... Probably bc you don't anymore. You can linger all you want on the fact that I broke up with you, but I had to. And now who is the only one who remembers? Me. The world has been swiped of our memory, you included, everyone has forgotten us but me. I wish I could get amnesia. I wish you'd vanish.

[WriterGal]

I wish you loved me, or at least that I could be happy with the crumbs you offered me. I hate that I can't talk to you and that you're no longer in my life. And I hate myself for missing you because I know what we had was ultimately not good for me. I wonder if you even miss me at all, or if you think about me. Because you're all I think about and I hate it.

[IAmFCA]

I've been thinking that I should be posting here, but I'm not, because... I actually am not talking to you. Not pretending to not talk to you. Just actually, not talking. Not even in my head. Oh, I miss playing with you something fierce. I've said all there is to say. I'm talked out. I got nothing. So pthhhfff. Not posting.

[toolovehim]

I am not sure what you really want, you want me as a friend, or you are not ready to come back yet

[toolovehim]

why...why....

[Coldarmy13]

I miss you so much. Over a month later, the tears are starting to return.

[stillaskingwhy]

Why take me half way round the world to cheat on me..I lost 16 years of my life thanks to a drug addiction, losing my house, living rough, rehab thanks to YOUR MISTAKES ..when I see you I will smile ..not because I will be happy to see you..but to thank you for throwing me such a curve ball that it literally rattled my world..but I came back wiser, struggled hard out of my living he'll..successfully out of rehab and now helping others..who is smiling now..Drench yourself in your guilt ridden conscience if it hasnt dried up already..it's been a while 😄

[sidburn]

I don't miss you or feel any sense of loss at all, because I put you on a pedestal and it broke. You're not the giving, loving, selfless girl with a heart of gold that I thought you were. You are arrogant, self-righteous, and entitled, and you're just as much of a poisonous, drama-starting woman child as that psycho mother of yours. A truly selfless/nice/giving person doesn't need to advertise that fact and doesn't expect anything in return for acting like a decent human being. You act like you walk on water and your s___ don't stink, well I've got news to you: you don't and it does. The biggest risks I have ever taken in my life were for you. The biggest sacrifices I've ever made, the most vulnerable and alone I've ever felt were for and because of you. Besides moving 3 states for you (which is totally something a selfish person would do), I spent God knows how much money on plane tickets, drove you accross the city to work every weekend because you were too lazy to get up in time to take the train, helped you through a depressive episode...how dare you say I'm selfish and that you're better than me. You say you deserve a guy as selfless and saint-like as yourself, well I deserve a girl who showers more than twice a week if I'm lucky, puts effort into her appearance, doesn't go out in public dressed like an 11 year old at a slumber party with her hair looking like a war crime, and doesn't eat herself into an early grave and sit around all day marinating in her own body fats like her parents do. Not to mention the completely f___ed up relationship you have with your mother. Paging Dr. Bates! Dr. Norman Bates! The fact that you had your mommy drive you to the coffee shop where we broke up instead of taking the bus like a mature, independent woman tells me everything I need to know about how likely you are to ever cut the 24 year old umbilical cord you're dragging around. Anyone who says they hate their mom in one breath and expects me to appease her in the next is not someone I need to spend the rest of my life with. Good thing I wised up and ended things before marrying you, or you would've been whining about how selfish I am because I wouldn't let you keep your mom's mummified remains in our attic. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I threw that 3 page hate letter you left me in the trash without reading any of it. The good news is, you don't need a boyfriend because you already have your one true love: your mother.

[md20]

How did you never get caught having sex at the school you work at?

How could have sex in the boiler room with the married janitor during school hours?

How could you screw a 25 yr old in a dirty alley that night? and then have sex with two men a few hours later who "high fived" each other as they f***ed you?

How could you show up a married couple's home that you never met and have sex with them while their young kids were sleeping in another room?

How could let a man you never met choke you and spit on you and urinate on you when you were scared, with his wife watching, and not leave?

How could you spend 100.00 on a vibrator when your son needs shoes and asks you to buy them, but say you have no money?

How could you even ask me for a bar of soap while visiting my apartment, to take to your next "session"

How could you have sex with other women and then tell me it's to turn "the guy on" and that you don't really like it?

How could you pick my friend up at the airport the very night I moved out of our house, and then have sex with him in your car when you should have been sad about me leaving after nine years?

How could you tell me the flowers I bought you every Valentines day were just to show your work friends up, and didn't mean anything?

How could you call me a "mistake"?

How could you even offer and then show me a video of you and a guy you just picked up at a bar having sex in our bedroom?...and be proud of it?

How could you show the same video at the fantasia party and think these women want to see it?

Does your new man of three months know about your recent past? Do your kids? Does your family know?

How can you ask me for money and then never respond to a text, or dismiss me, or avoid me?

 

How did I end up marrying such a goddamn mess?

[md20]

How...just how?

[toolovehim]

You are really smart and good at the game, and I let you, allow you.....

[tiff600]

You use to tell me that you love me. Now I see you back with your ex-girlfriend. Did really care about me or was you just using me along. I wish I could let you go because you don't deserve my tears. it has only be a month since we stopped talking and you are already in a new relationship telling the girl how you like when she wears your shirts.

[sunshine34]

I think I am beginning to make progress, or at least develop more understanding about this process.. The worst part about it is that slow onset, the resist like treading through molasses , why does love never come on so slow? It only leaks out painfully drop by drop like blood from a ed finger waiting for someone to put pressure on and stop it. I'm a control freak, so naturally it is in my natrue to fight the current and "feelings" that I can't control , that are essentially controlling me and dictating when I will be over it.. It's an endless black sea, that I must learn to bathe in to wade through. I was driving home from the gym today and I let myself think of you, not that I can always control this, as at least 20 x a day I still somehow redirect my thoughts to you. Today it was something as simple as the fact taht you drive the most commercialized and obvious car known to man and I see it everywhere. I hated the look of that car, and now it is nostalgic. Instead of hatred I felt an odd happiness today. Just happiness from good memories we had, although I hit a blip when I realized I didn't know your favorite color anymore... although typing that made me remember it;s black which is an unusual color , for some reason I thought it was between blue and green anyways.. the point is, i was realizing that eventually,I will forget all of these seemingly insignificant things that mean so much to me still. It's like forgetting the world we built together, watching the apartment we lived in decompose in my mental memory map. I'm finally understanding that this needed to happen.. It doesn't make sense for me to get caught up in the details of whether or not you cared, or how you feel or why you are ignoring me, why you don't want me in your life at all and why you want to forget me, why I all of a sudden mean nothing and if you've moved on.. It's still so easy for me to wander into those dark places and endless questions, but there is no need to go tehre. The bigger picture is that we aren't together, and even though it really hurts now, I will eventually bebetter for it. Because even though I loved you, and the last time I saw you was magical, I spent a lot of time falling out and being broken before I was forced to break up with you. I realized that I have been going through the motions of this break up mos before we actually broke up. That what I am doing now is still less painful than it was to be with you. I can remember countless nights listening to my dcfc and john mayer station devastated in tears unable to move because of the pain you put me through and being with you/staying was even harder. It was a constant burdon knwing that I had to choose happiness and not wanting to go because of how If elt about you and us.. because I kept wishing and hoping you'd change. Hoping one day I would come home and find you uninvited at my doorstep with roses, or a morning voicemail that you loved me, or to not have to wait by my phone like I had been doing for a year feeling starved for attention. THat i wouldnt have to feel pain and neglect, or if I did you would actulaly care , listen, try to help instead of manipulating me into thinking the problem was entirely my fault. I think the reason it will take me a long time to move on fully and let go is because I'm scared about my future love life now.. I've been through many break ups where I was serious about the person and invested, but I've always been able to see hope in experiences I wasn't fulfilled in or that I havent realized. With you, I did believe I would marry you, I trusted you and you were my best friend. We moved in together and I did everything I could to make sure we loved each otehr for who we were, we worked thorugh things people get divorced over and we spend half of our relationship over 1200 miles away and only saw each other 1 x every 2 months and barely skyped. Yet, everytime I saw you it was like coming home. I can't forge that. Worse , I know I cant replace it. I dont know that I believe a stronger love exists for me, and I dont know that i believe someone will fight for a realtionship as hard as we did. I don't know that I believe I can make someone happy forever and I don't know that someone can do that for me. My hopes and dreams of marriage have been ruined and my heart is still broken. I need to accept this sludge and bathe in it.. I still miss you, I still love you and I wish things would have been the fairytale I always hoped for. Instead I have a void and you have decided to delte yourself from my life forever.. In a way I know it's easier that I dont have social media and we live so far away I will never run into you, our lives were already separate, but bc of the connection we still had despite all those things.. its harder to diminish and escape it or form any kind of bond with anyone else.. our threshold was so high

[sunshine34]

I miss u.. I miss snuggling and kissing , I wish we could see each other. I wish I felt loved by you