Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[quirky]

I knew I'd be missing you more when I'd start dating again. I didn't really want to date so I don't quite know how this has happened.

 

He came around last night and I threw teddy off the bed. Today, after he left I picked teddy and looked at him and wished it had all worked out with us.

I have been missing you a lot the past 2 weeks. You are such a lovely and special guy, so quirky and handsome and kind. I felt young and excited with you. I felt really beautiful with you, like a goddess. I am angry at all the things that didn't work. I am angry I had to let it go so I can be responsible for my future. I miss you so much and wish we could do something to change who we are so we can fully fit. I miss your clumsiness and your weirdness. Your inquisitive nature and your constant swearing. And feeling like the hottest woman on earth around you.

 

I am trying hard to act on what is right for me, to honour my needs and in the meantime I hate my friggin needs because it means being away from you. I love you and feel so sad I can't be with you and be fully happy. I know you feel the same.

 

I think of you and feel incredibly sad we cannot make it work. Wish we could exchange music again.

I miss you.

[jaded123]

Dear A:

 

Wishing you a very happy birthday today I just wanted to say that you are an amazing person and when I think of you, I only feel love and warmth inside.

 

You did nothing wrong by leaving. I take full responsibility for saying/doing things that hurt you very much. You were the most wonderful thing in my life and wish you very many happy birthdays ahead.

 

-H

[Hazyillusions]

I didn't make the decision tonight bc i didn't love you. It was never about my feelings Ben.

I'm crazy about you.

[grey eyes]

I wish you would call me. Every day I don't hear from you hardens my resolve and makes me more certain that this will never work out. Distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

[Hazyillusions]

I wish you saw it from my point of view instead of making me out to be the bad guy in all this.

This is hard.

[Hazyillusions]

I wanted a future with you.

But what's love when we're missing trust?

I miss you.

[sunshine34]

another down swing today. last night I wnet out and I was actually on a high, just started talking to a guy in beverly hills, which is the perfect city in my imagination.. that as going well , he even said he knew someone to find me a job since my pending offer in CA seems to be taking forever and it's northern ca not southern. I was with my friend renee, planning on studying today for my stupid 5 day training in naples, kind of decided I would get serious and earn a bonus. went out and I met a guy, first time since you that I felt butterflies about someone.. got that same vibe like I wanted to know everything about him, that he was a genuinely good person and I was attracted to him.Then I start telling him about my dreams and all of a sudden he tells me I should go talk to someoen else bc he hates CA and bla bla so I went upstairs and away from him and my friend bc she was talking to someone else and I just wanted to be gone. Being depressed about the rejection brought me to you.. then he came and found me, and kissed me /asked for my number. I am not sure why but even the making up/weird fighting reminds me of you so ed up that you haunt me even when you've been out of my life for so long. it jut feels like when it rains it pours, then I go home and my gf tried to get into my pants, and I jut felt all uncomfortbale and weird..I tried to pretend IW as aslee and she wouldn't stop... ended up making out w her to suppress her but it just felt wrong and sad. woke up this morning after sleeping in my cntacts and makeup, enormous eye infection and hungover. So I couldn't skeep bc I couldnt close my eyes, hurt too much. took a prescription strength ibuprofen from when I had surgery and laid around all day.. too depressed and tired to study. meanwhile I have to meet with b**chy lady tomorrow to review and im not prepared everything always hits me at once and I ahve no best friend, I have no you, I just have an empty gaping hole inside of me begging to be filled with love, but so guarded from all the ish you put me through I'm unable to feel ANYTHING. and the second I even get SIMPLE effing butterflies it has to be over a dysfunctional situation . ugh

[sunshine34]

I just want to scream

[hopelessincan]

Hey. I just scrolled down my phone...and it took a while to see your name. Its only been a week since we talked, but it means that I've also been talking to people again. Slowly making new friends... There are certain people I refuse to talk to even now..including some of my best friends..because they don't help me....even when I tell them what I need from them right now. I talked to a close friend tonight...who peeved me off....but well frankly I probably should stop talking to him.. I know hes in love with me.

I had a good weekend. I did my own thing and was productive. Had a few visitors...but that was ok... they didn't stay long.

I think I will always love you. You made a difference in my life. I cant say that about pretty much anyone.

I love you. I miss you. We have lots of work to do. Or maybe I will just forget about you one day. I love you a lot. xoxo

I promised myself last we talked, that I wouldn't contact you. So I have to stick to it. I have to forget about you

I just hope you remember me. Don't make it too long ok? Cause it will be too late. And I still think you and I are meant to be. You even said so once...Maybe not now..But some day...

[Hazyillusions]

I just had flashes of you wildly twirling me around. You crinkling your nose as I kiss your cheek. You staring at me intensely in the dark. You smiling that amazing dimpled smile. You chuckling and aggravating me. You holding me in your arms.

I thought of you.

[iamsuspended]

I wish I could have been more confident around you and been able to tell you how I was feeling and how much spending time with you meant to me.

 

I wonder how long it will take before these feelings start to subside at the moment they are so raw, and who knows maybe if I had told you this would only have pushed you further away.

 

Passenger says it better than I ever could;

 

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much

And you dived too deep

[hopelessincan]

Today I hate you. Its not you. Its everything. But how could you leave when everything around me is falling apart? I cant even think straight.

[saluk]

If the new guy is for real I hope you guys can be happy. In a way it's nice to see you try and move on after all this time. Maybe seeing you like this will help me as I try to move on. However I fear that you are just toying with him - or the other way around, and I hope that you are careful, especially with your feelings. Because he is such a popular guy, are you sure this is worth the drama that might ensue? I can see it going very bad very easily. I mean just look at his track record. And yours.

 

But I really do hope that this is for the best for you. Just remember that you are worth it. Don't sacrifice yourself, your ideals, your personality, your character just so that others like you. Be the best you that those of us who really know you know that you can be. But, I have no part in that. And that's OK. You have to explore this side of yourself as well, and I will continue exploring some of the new sides of myself that you helped open in me all those years ago.

 

To true love, may we each find it.

[Hazyillusions]

I got the card/letter.

[Jiriyanu]

I feel so incredibly used... Did you ever even care that I did? I gave you something so special, something I can only give to someone once, ever. Why was there never any reaction to that?

 

I was so hesitant in starting off with you at first, so why did you persist? After I open up to you, you just... leave like it never mattered? I don't understand... We clicked so well, and then it all just died... I thought offering myself to you more would improve things to how they used to be, but you already had it all planned, didn't you? Why? You were worse than the last, and we were never even official... I saw all these signs that you weren't worth it, but I ignored it because I thought that if I believed in you enough, you'd prove to me that you were different.

I tried believing you. I tried to trust you, even when my trust for anybody was already so traumatized.

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust anyone else again....

[jaded123]

A,

I feel so alone with you. I wish things had turned out differently, that we were together and had a family of our own. Would have loved to hold your hand every day.

-H

[SaveMeFromMe]

please tell me ur not really moving on u havent tried contacting me and i feel like my whole world is ending!!! i dont know what to do with myself from one minute to the next im dying inside im so used to u coming back man i feel so lost

[jaded123]

A,

I was wrong for saying/doing things that hurt you. It was wrong, no excuses. Your cult is just that, a cult, as you are likely to find out one day for yourself. But regardless of that, and separate from that, I should not have hurt you in the way I did. This is entirely my fault, I accept full responsibility and once again, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

 

I will say this also: I never left you. When you left, I was in love with you as much as before and continued to be. Nobody really "deserves" anything but I still feel I deserved a second chance. I loved you very much and I wish you had loved me back enough to want to be with me again.

 

All this is retreading very old ground now but I feel broken by life today. I never left you, A, and for you, and only for you, I changed fundamentally. You know how ? I firstly realized and accepted my mistake. And secondly, even though I disliked immensely what you did, I would *never* have complained about it again or resented you for it in any way, because it made *you* happy. It was a fundamental change for me, because it was accepting something against my core principles but I did accept it.

 

I just wanted to hold your hand every day and still do. I still have these empty spaces in my house where you once used to stand in that I hug when I'm lonely. And the first thing I say most mornings is your name.

[sammi3110]

The road has been long and bumpy and I fear it will only get worse now. It has been a year since we broke up and today is our second day of proper NC. I have missed you for the past year and we have been dragging this out hoping we didn't have to say goodbye. It was so hard to say goodbye 2 days ago. My heart is broken and I know that you will forever hold a piece of it. I miss you so much. The pain is so raw and so real..I just want to crawl back into bed with you and make it all go away. But its time for me to be a big girl and let go and move on. You are the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. I will miss you for the rest of my life...I hope to find you in the next life.

Day 2 of NC and struggling!

[Hazyillusions]

I've had 3 guys insist upon a date in the last 3 days but all that just made me feel even more low.

Right now it's Netflix till dawn, then some sleep.

See. Even though I know I can't be with you because of our issues, that doesn't stop me missing you.

 

P.S the card moved me.

[sidburn]

I know there was more going on between you and your "stalker" than you told me. Oh, and I love that you have to resort to catfishing by using a picture of yourself 9 years and 60 lbs ago on OKCupid.

[Hazyillusions]

I miss you.

[hopelessincan]

just when im thinking im feeling better....... Im way worse. I got a dog. Should have a long time ago. Shes a great distraction. For whatever reason tonight, I thought I could handle looking at our vacation pics.....I did...I was ok.... then watched our videos...........heard your voice and Im done.............. barrel of tears......

I've been so strong, but Im so weak. I never did send you the rest. Youre as emotional as I, so maybe I should send them...but then that would be contact....But if you watched them youd feel the same as I do...This is the worst pain I have ever felt. I hope one day I can look at your picture and not long for you

[engraved2008]

Weekends are still hard...I miss you ...I just wonder if you ever think about me ...our baby would have been born this week...would have been my first child...you told me all you can offer me is a friendship and you were no longer in love like you used to...I really loved you ...why did you gave up on me ?

[mikesmith1]

How could you have a new BF a week after me? After saying you were so depressed and heartbroken about having to leave me,That you needed space and a BF was the LAST ting on your mind..I guess The I still love you and care and the its so hard was all BS meanwhile I am still here stuck.Every song reminds me of you I can't sleep barley eat..and you go on like everything is great...You say you want to be friends yet 3 weeks not even a hello,Some friend