sidburn

I know there was more going on between you and your "stalker" than you told me. Oh, and I love that you have to resort to catfishing by using a picture of yourself 9 years and 60 lbs ago on OKCupid.

I don't miss you or feel any sense of loss at all, because I put you on a pedestal and it broke. You're not the giving, loving, selfless girl with a heart of gold that I thought you were. You are arrogant, self-righteous, and entitled, and you're just as much of a poisonous, drama-starting woman child as that psycho mother of yours. A truly selfless/nice/giving person doesn't need to advertise that fact and doesn't expect anything in return for acting like a decent human being. You act like you walk on water and your s___ don't stink, well I've got news to you: you don't and it does. The biggest risks I have ever taken in my life were for you. The biggest sacrifices I've ever made, the most vulnerable and alone I've ever felt were for and because of you. Besides moving 3 states for you (which is totally something a selfish person would do), I spent God knows how much money on plane tickets, drove you accross the city to work every weekend because you were too lazy to get up in time to take the train, helped you through a depressive episode...how dare you say I'm selfish and that you're better than me. You say you deserve a guy as selfless and saint-like as yourself, well I deserve a girl who showers more than twice a week if I'm lucky, puts effort into her appearance, doesn't go out in public dressed like an 11 year old at a slumber party with her hair looking like a war crime, and doesn't eat herself into an early grave and sit around all day marinating in her own body fats like her parents do. Not to mention the completely f___ed up relationship you have with your mother. Paging Dr. Bates! Dr. Norman Bates! The fact that you had your mommy drive you to the coffee shop where we broke up instead of taking the bus like a mature, independent woman tells me everything I need to know about how likely you are to ever cut the 24 year old umbilical cord you're dragging around. Anyone who says they hate their mom in one breath and expects me to appease her in the next is not someone I need to spend the rest of my life with. Good thing I wised up and ended things before marrying you, or you would've been whining about how selfish I am because I wouldn't let you keep your mom's mummified remains in our attic. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I threw that 3 page hate letter you left me in the trash without reading any of it. The good news is, you don't need a boyfriend because you already have your one true love: your mother.