Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[miss_sunshine]

Arrrggghh I still miss you and I am so sad even 9 months later. I just want this pain to subside, I want to feel normal again, have one day free from these thoughts and just be able to feel present in my own life.

 

The more time that passes, I realise just how little you cared about me. That I really did not mean much to you in the end, even though I gave you 11 years of unconditional love. I still can't believe that you did this to me.

 

I wonder what I did wrong in my life to end up in this position. Not only having to deal with a chronic illness, but also having to be in this pain. I just want to be happy, I just want to be healthy. It's not fair, the things that other people take forgranted I am here praying for everyday.

 

Bubba, know I love and miss you everyday. You are always on my mind and I hope you are ok. You are still the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing at night. I muse everything about you and wish you were here. All my love xoxo

[southernbell22]

I don't miss you, I don't long for you, I don't want you.

I'm just pissed, you know? I got you up on your feet, helped you to finally be happy with being alive, I helped to keep you here.

I want you to grow, I want you to get better, to let go of all the things that hold you back that you think are so cool. I want you to be something, not a reflection of someone- a reflection of your new friends. I told you before I stopped talking to you for good to not let my absence be an excuse to go back to the things that hurt you. I thought of you even as you were walking right out on me.

 

I don't really know who you are anymore (or care much about it honestly), I liked who you used to be, though. And I know you haven't forgotten me and I know there's simply no way you feel absolutely nothing. And I hope it eats at you when all is spent and done.

I always had hope in you but now.. not so sure.

But I don't miss you, I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to be with you at all.

For once in my life, for once since the past year and a half of my life, this is gonna be about me and what I want and what I need.

And what I want and what I need is definitely not you.

[SocalNetworker]

What you did to me was awful, you dumped me then two months later you come back and say you still have feelings for me and care about me. I guess I stuck to NC for two months, and then felt ready so I met up with you. You said you want to take things slow, well now I feel stuck in limbo.

 

I just wish you would be honest and realize that playing with peoples emotions are evil. Please don't hurt me again.

[burningred]

Hate that i still cry over you every once in a while.

[invisibleheart]

Why? ...why? 3

[invisibleheart]

I miss you tremendously *sigh*

[chamachama]

Someone unfortunately mentioned you last night. Basically just asked if I was still with you. I simply said no, that's long over and done and we don't talk anymore. For some stupid reason the words "we don't talk anymore" stuck in my throat and I thought about you more in depth for a while. I wen't outside with my friends for a change of scenery and tried to push you out of my brain so to speak. A paraplegic girl in a motorized wheelchair was stuck trying to move between two snowbanks. I ran over and helped her get through the pass by lifting the chair a bit and maneuvering it through the ice piles. My friends who were outside saw this and some of them were saying how much of a great guy I am always helping others in need and how big my heart always is. M says "I can't even fathom you being single. You're this great guy who's kind, (she said hot too), and interesting and funny and just great to be around all the time. And you seem to have given up on finding someone chama... why is that? I've never seen you like this for so long" I didn't know what to say to her. At that moment I thought about what you said to me in your last text... "I never loved you!..." You have no idea how much that hurt. Maybe that's the reason. I think that my guard has been way up since you said that to me. I'm afraid to show myself again. Afraid to be vulnerable to someone. Whether you meant it or said it just to hurt me, it still had far reaching affects on me I guess.

 

You totally suck for saying things like that to me. Yes I was obviously super angry at you, and still am. You seriously deserve it. My emails were said tongue in cheek. A lot of what I said in them was just me joking. Yes after that last night at your place, I did want to hang out a bit and have fun with you again once in a while. But that's about all. I wasn't looking for much more than that. All I ever really wanted to do with you was be more than an fwb for you. And for that, you turn on me in such a vile hurtful way. The good times that we had, I wanted to add to them a bit. Collect good times with someone I enjoyed being with. You were so self absorbed in your world that you never understood that I want'ed the simplest of things from you. To have fun with you. I feel ashamed that I wanted that with someone who apparently didn't love me the entire time and must have been faking it or something. Why would you let it go so far? Why would you continue to contact me after we were done? I never reached out to you. You always reached out to me. When we broke up I was always fine with moving on. I know how to heal for myself. Why didn't you just leave me alone to heal? Why couldn't you just let go? Selfishness I guess is the answer.

 

Please never ever attempt to involve yourself with me in any way ever again. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to know you. I don't love you that's for sure. I don't even like you. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to be your fwb. I just don't want you, at all. The thought of you literally makes me sick now. I'll eventually open myself to someone again. I'll eventually patch up that chip you gave me on my shoulder. I know that my friend is right and I need to allow someone to get to know me again. We were only seriously together for less than a year. I can't believe the damage you did in such a short time with me. You really are a little monster. I feel bad for your next victims. They don't know the depths you will go to inflict pain on them. How do you live with yourself doing that to good people? I hope you think about that sometimes. I hope it burns in some way but I am sure it doesn't. You never did have the capability to show empathy or sympathy. Wonder what that actually means for you. You never seemed to feel for anyone other than yourself. I'm not like that. I feel for people. You should try it sometime. It might humanize you a bit.

[relevart]

I could be there in 90 minutes if you said the word.

[chattychica]

I love you with all of me. And you know this.

You loved me with all of you too at one point. YOu told me I made you a better man. Isn't that what every man wants in a woman?

You were my super hero, my buggy bear, my boyfriend, my truest love. I guess I shouldn't have given you so many titles. I shouldn't have told you I love you after only a couple of months. I knew I needed to protect myself from the beginning.

It was so hard to let you go. Every time I tried to let you go, you made me take you back. Now that I want to try to make you take me back, you won't do the same for me. I'm always the one doing things for people that they won't do for me.

 

I love you and miss you. A part of me knows that we will get back together. Even though I ed up with your entire family, even though I told your mom how badly she hurt me and all the bad things about her even though I should have (granted, that's why I wanted YOU to contact her. because I knew if I did it I would say what should never be said). I guess I'm stupid for wanting a guy who wouldn't even try to make me happy by putting me and his mom on a good plane so she would stop sabotaging our relationship. But you were the best man I have ever had and I've had way longer relationships than this which I had with you (4 months), but I've never wanted something back so badly. I just want to text you again, add you back on instagram and Facebook and hold you again. but I know if I do this now, it may be too soon. I'm just afraid that in a week, when I plan to do it, it will be too late.

 

I guess my mom and all these strangers on the internet are right. I feel deep in my heart that we are going to get back together because maybe I haven't accepted that we are over yet. Maybe I am in denial. I haven't accepted that you probably don't love me anymore. After all, it was only 4 months..... and you've blocked my calls and texts.... you can't possibly miss and love me like I pray that you do.

 

I guess I feel like I know that we will get back together because if you ask you shall receive and I've prayed to God multiple times for our love back. And God knows my heart. and He knows that I only want us back and the best for us and you and me. He knows that I love you with all my heart and He knows that I want to make everything right with you. and your family, no matter how crazy they are. I'm willing to deal with them for however long and through whatever just to be with you. I had my mind made up on that a long time ago. Because you are the best to me. You are the only one that I want. I'm jumping through hoops trying to get you back.... Even though everyone on enotalone.com may be right, saying that the hope for us is slim to none considering i'm fighting an uphill battle since I talked about your family. But I'm just remorseful and just want it all back. New. better. best.

 

I love you so much.... and I'm behaving so desperately right now.... I hope it ends soon..... I must accept and think that you don't love or like or even miss me anymore. I just don't understand how that is even possible with all the love that I felt when we started and all the love that I felt throughout the entire relationship. but I must accept it.

 

I knew I wasn't emotionally stable enough for a relationship because I wasn't emotionally stable enough for a breakup..... I've lost a lot of people in life and I hate it.... and now I've lost you too.... and it's hard.... because you were my absolute best friend I thought.... but turns out, you were telling all of my secrets to your family.... maybe you weren't my best friend after all.... but regardless, it feels like my best friend has died.... And I guess I should treat it that way, because if you have died, then there is no way that you are coming back.... If I treat it that way, maybe i'll get over it soon..... I guess it would make it easier if you were actually dead. but I love you lots.... and I wish you the best....

I also wish that you would come back to me and we just work this out with your family after we work on us. because we can do this. I know we can. I don't believe in giving up... ugh... . so torn here.... so tumultuous. I love you, K.... so much.... I wish I had telepathic powers to communicate this to you... but I've told you enough... you know all of this already....

I'll just spend this week treating myself on spring break and getting me together.

[sushiboat]

If you ever come running back to me I don't know what I'd do. That would be interesting.

[Tind]

I feel so lonely I wish things can be easier but I have to let you go my mind is playing tricks on me my mind is trying to keep me weak why I know you are not good for me and the last thing on earth you would want is to break because you have nerves of steal and you will not be the first to break it is beneath you if you love me you will never let it show if you are weak you have to fight it it is foolish to be weak it is foolish to break you will resist with ever ounce of strength that you have you are above all you look down your nose at the world you have no emotions because emotions is a sign of weakness you will never give in

[Tind]

Let's see if the no contact really works I haven't contact you in nearly 3 and a half weeks but you only contact me once. They say the magic starts to happen around the fourth to eighth week I am waiting to cast my spell on you for me to become so irresistible you become so powerless you have to beg me back can I cast this spell we have to wait and see

[Tind]

You left like a thief in the night like a prowler you took everything and left you were a coward you played with me you toyed with me and you thought I would break but the universe has it own ideas karma is a b**ch

[Tind]

Tomorrow will be one month since the break up and I haven't heard from you I don't care to know what you are doing or how things are going I would only be Happy if you are miserable.

[Hazyillusions]

E, by June of this year, it'd have been 2 years since I last saw you face to face. Hope things are going well for you back home.

It's your bday in a week again! Wow, it's really amazing how fast time passes yeah. I can still picture you so vividly. Hope you have a great bday.

I still care a great deal, do love and still think about you everyday. It's ok though, life does go on.

 

Hopefully we can skype again soonish?

 

Xx

[SRKjoe]

Hey, I noticed that you still haven't gotten back to me about when you are available to get together again. I really enjoyed your company last time when we had our "real talk" and was pleasantly surprised by our mini-make out session. I know it was just a moment of weakness, but I hope it happens again, but if it was just you screwing with my emotions just to satisfy your own ego, then you can go to hell.

[chamachama]

Well I saw that dude you showed me a pic of who violently groped you that time you and your friend went with those random guys to their place. I was drunk but I knew it was him. He was even coming on to some other poor girl super strong again a few seats down from me. I lost my s**t. Went up to him, told the girl to go away and she gladly did. That got his attention real quick. Told him that he assaulted my ex and if he denied it he would be taking a trip to the ER that night. I was ready to totally dismantle the guy (and you were right... not a small man at all), when he did the unthinkable and completely apologized to me siting that he was wasted and wished that he could say he was sorry to you (although I don't believe that at all after seeing him basically groping that other girl the same way). Totally took me off guard. I was expecting him to get in my face forcing me to react harshly toward him. But he didn't. I told him that if he ever goes near you again that I swear on my fathers grave that I will come find him no matter where he is and bury him where he stood. He bought me a drink and again apologized profusely.

 

I can't f'ng believe that I still care, even after all the stuff you put me though. I guess the thought of that total moron hurting you or scaring you still makes my blood biol. It shouldn't but it does. Anyway, I am pretty sure that if you ever see him again, he will run and not walk the other way from you. I made him basically crap himself. He was white as a ghost.

 

I don't really understand why I still give an f about you like that. I wish that I didn't. I still never want to see you or hear from you ever again. I still can't stand you and the way you treated me. I still think you are a selfish little f'ing monster incapable of actually caring about anyone other than yourself. Part of me hates that I did that for you. The other part knows it was the right thing to do. If I hadn't, he might have thought it alright to try it again with you if he gets the chance. Now he knows that if he does it will be a very unwise decision for him. But maybe if you stayed the f out of trouble in the first place I wouldn't of had to threaten someone like that. Whatever. Go take a running leap off a short pier. Jerk.

 

That WILL be the very last time that I ever help you. And I am so glad that you will never know that I did either. I want no excuses for you to ever think its ok to contact me. Its not, and it never ever will be. There is nothing you could ever say to me that will ever get me back in your life. You suck and shall stay in the "you suck" list permanently.

[Tind]

Pick up your garbage from my home they are infested you are the one who needs to pay for an exterminator to get rid of the infestation you brought with you when you moved in.

 

You are a smelly disgusting slob

[neverknowwhy]

How could you be so cold?

As the winter wind when it breeze yo

Just remember that you talkin' to me though

You need to watch the way you talkin' to me though

 

I mean after all the things that we've been through

I mean after all the things we got into

Yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me

Yo, I did some things but that's the old me

 

Now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me

So you walk around like you don't know me

You got a new friend, I got homies

In the end it's still so lonely

 

In the night I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told

Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul

To a woman so heartless

How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so heartless?

 

How could be so Dr. Evil?

You're bringin' out a side of me that I don't know

I decided we weren't goin' speak so

Why we up 3 a.m. on the phone?

 

Why does she be so mad at me for?

Homie, I don't know, she's hot and cold

I won't stop, won't mess my groove up

'Cause I already know how this thing go

 

You run and tell your friends you're leavin' me

They say that they don't see what you see in me

You wait a couple months and you gonna see

You'll never find nobody better than me

[Tind]

Hi I am tired can you give me a ride home?

[Tind]

Give me a ride home I want to go home please call and offer me a ride home how can you be so uncaring if you really cared wouldn't you be wondering how I am getting home.. Just offer to take me home...

[sunshine34]

Today was the first time it crossed ym mind that you are gone. ive been so focused on moving on and forgetting that i hadnt been thinking about how you were feeling, i couldn't because if i did i knew i would look back but yesterday my world collapsed . my external world and i thought of you, i wanted it to be you, even though you have not been the best at being there for me. so i emailed you. and you didnt respond. i know you wanted me to be there for your dads anniversary day, but now im not so sure. i actually dont feel bitter abotu doing it despite you ignoring me and not being there for me again, so I guess i am at least maturing from this experience. but maybe you dont want me there anymore. maybe my deepest fears were correct and with space, true space from me you see that you were never in that deep of love with me, just the idea of me and youve already moved on to some ho. i know thinking of a potential future is the only sure way that you wont move on, so i need to not dwell or think of such things. I only need to focus on moving on and healing, but now its hard not to focus on why you ignored me.. best case scenario its because you know i need to heal and want to give me the space . worst case youve forgotten me. although, i did make this decision and if you ahve forgotten me, maybe that is best for both of us. i watched the video i made for you over a year ago, it popped up on my laptop after i plugged my phone in. i really did love you so much. it's insane to think we've been in a different city for almost a year now. after the anger has died, time has set in and begun to acid wash away some of my resentment. although this makes the process more painful, i know it's what has to happen. I need to feel more pain to get to a better place and i only know more is coming like the realization on the 6th that you mgiht not want to talk to me, or that youve mvoed on or worse. deafening silence. i need to be ready for anything and i hope by that point i am. i do still have love for you , you were the realest bond i had ever had. we weren't getting anything out of dating each other, it was more difficult in our situation to be together than not to yet we were together because we felt so bonded that there was no way to not be together. i was at the gym today in the tannign bed and ive realized time by myself not doing anyhting drives me insane.. i can't do it anymore because i know the second i let everything else die down all of these demons ive been running from start comng out of me.. i had this vivid memory of one of the moments when we shared a long embrace.. one of those moments when we both really needed it and i could remember how it felt, how all of a sudden that holein my chest was gone and i could breathe.. just for on emoment. i wanted taht so badly today and ir ealized i haven't had the luxury of getting that from you whenn i needed it in over a year.. because the entire time we were long distance i never had you. you were so busy with work you couldnt even text me throughout the day. i had lost the ability to need you because you werent tehre. thats where the beginning of the end unravelled. im not even sure what lvoe is anymore. how it can ever withstand every force life throws at it and how anyone can stay happy with love forever.. i dont believe its worth the heartache .. ive lost my affinity for love and its sad. i miss you. i miss those hugs and i know i can never say that to you. i know this has to be the end , but im not okay with it yet. i wish i could run into your arms like i used to and hold each other for hours, i wish we had the luxury of skipping class and ging to the beach again. iw ish i was in 90 degree weather all day. i wish life was simple again. and then i think the more i worry about that, the more time i lose while it is still simpler now than it will ever be beacuse it will only become more complex wth time. i just want one more day of being irresponsible and in love maybe the two are synonymous.. i dk

[sunshine34]

The more I think of u, the more confused and hurt i become. I'm sick of the false promises, "I would never block you bc I would always want u to reach me if u needed me" ok well no bc when I try you ignore me but expect me to be there time and time again for you? You're such an emotional . You want to be the female and pretend to be a man. Do you evens know what being a man is? Or are you secretly gay like I suspected? I mean who the hell can't have sex to have sex... Someone who isn't aroused by females and needs male stimulation. Go find a man to dominate you , I'm sick of it. u

[prettycutie]

I know we didn't date that long but we knew each other for YEARS. You then proceed to only come into my life every so and so time when you're single? Well maybe more but still. Tha stings. I was so blind back in the day, not realizing you liked me...or did you? You then proceed to finally contact me after 2 years and ask me to be your girlfriend. I fell head over heals for you and you turned around and made it seem as if I was walking on hot lava rocks. It's still hard for me to move on and forget the (now that I look back) the lies of how you really liked me and how I was your "perfect" girlfriend. And how you'd always want to spend time with me every day and night. It's hard for me to believe any of that since you've left me blind and in the dust. I hope you are having a good life and if you're with a new girl I hope she treats you with SUCH respect you don't even rememeber that girl you knew 8 years ago. You left a scar in my heart that probably won't ever be mended. Or at least for a long time. I guess you never were or aren't who I thought you were. You're nothing but a 2 faced cowardly liar. I don't know if I can ever forgive you.

[Snow93]

Dreamt about you for I think only the second time since the breakup.

 

I was yelling at you about everything that happened. It didn't feel good or cathartic though. I felt disgusted; at you for what you did and at me for being so vicious to you in the dream. I know it was just a dream but it honestly feels like we had another real argument, it just brought everything back. I guess I'm

still angry at you. I've just been telling myself you don't exist anymore and trying to ignore it.

 

It made me miss you too. I have to keep reminding myself how your bad points outweigh the good. I still know I was right to leave you but sometimes that doesn't make things any easier.