jul-els Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Pull a nike... just do it. If your ready thre shouldn't be much trouble getting him relaxed and in the mood ... and ready. Exactly. Once he's there in the flesh, I'm sure it won't be difficult for you to get him to change his mind. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 And it would be pretty impossible for me to be pregnant. but you keep posting threads every other day asking if you are pregnant, even if you took a pregnancy test and it came out negative!!! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I would give your OCD a break and stop having sex for a while. Enjoy the other parts of your relationship. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 wear a Red wig and tell him you are Lindsay Lohan for just one evening Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 Omg, that would NEVER work! He would be appauled I would even think of the idea, and the thought of doing it with someone else, let alone her, would be AWFUL for him. Lol I think I'll stick to just me. I want to atleast try it. I mean, if it's painful for me I'm not going to grit my teeth and bear it and lie to him just to get my rocks off, I'll let him know it hurts and we wont do it again til the next time he comes down. But if it feels really good, and it doesn't hurt me at all, other then just minor discomfort whats the harm in that? I love sex! And if it doesn't hurt, no harm done right? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Omg, that would NEVER work! He would be appauled I would even think of the idea, and the thought of doing it with someone else, let alone her, would be AWFUL for him. Lol I think I'll stick to just me. I want to atleast try it. I mean, if it's painful for me I'm not going to grit my teeth and bear it and lie to him just to get my rocks off, I'll let him know it hurts and we wont do it again til the next time he comes down. But if it feels really good, and it doesn't hurt me at all, other then just minor discomfort whats the harm in that? I love sex! And if it doesn't hurt, no harm done right? But, it sounds like it IS mentally hurting you. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Omg, that would NEVER work! He would be appauled I would even think of the idea, and the thought of doing it with someone else, let alone her, would be AWFUL for him. Lol I think I'll stick to just me. I want to atleast try it. I mean, if it's painful for me I'm not going to grit my teeth and bear it and lie to him just to get my rocks off, I'll let him know it hurts and we wont do it again til the next time he comes down. But if it feels really good, and it doesn't hurt me at all, other then just minor discomfort whats the harm in that? I love sex! And if it doesn't hurt, no harm done right? rose - sex is hurting you mentally, if you are asking if you are pregnant every 2 days, or asking why you are spotting, etc..... i think it would be a REALLY good idea to abstain until you have figured out why you are sick, so you can rule things out. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 Well I just upped my anxiety medicine yesterday, so I should be fine for the time being. And I think my nerves can atleast rest easier, I'm supposed to get my period NEXT weds, but I think due to my medicine change it came early as in today Talk about a weekend ruiner. If it actually turns out to be more heavy. Which hopefully it will NOT. Link to comment
mystique_cf Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Sex isnt everything in a relationship....and if you HAVE to sleep with him to be happy in the relationship..then thats not healthy....what if he got into an accident and couldnt use his man parts....then what happens when ur SOOO horny...if he doesnt feel comfortable doing it, then dont be selfish Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 Sex isn't a huge thing in our relationship, and it certaintly isn't the main thing and the most important. True, sex is important to me in a relationship but it's not the ONLY thing. I enjoy just spending time with him too, and being able to cuddle up next to him, shower, and go out and do things together. I have been fine going without sex with him for almost 6 weeks while we were seperated (semi ldr) He will be here Friday, and since I have seen him last, or had sex with him, it will of been 2.5 weeks You can imagine why I would get a little bit antzy Link to comment
mystique_cf Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 you got through it before, so do it again...if you like cuddling and all that stuff, then do that....and u didnt reply to what i said about him getting into an accident.....like, a lot of people on here are saying that u should just not do it for the time being..since he feels uncomfortable and it may not be healthy to do...and to all those people who answered this way, ur pretty much saying no, its my body etc. dont be selfish...you cant force someone to sleep with u sorry Like i said before, what if he gets into an accident, u gonna go find someone else to satisfy ur hornyness cause its sssooooooooo important to u? Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 No, he is the only one I want to be with. If he got into an accident of course I wouldnt run off and find someone else, I would just stay with him and endure the pain, even if it meant not having sex. The only reason why he is iffy on having sex with me, is because he is worried about ME> It's not that he doesn't want to, his desire is as strong as mine. He just dosn't want to hurt me. But if I convince him that I really want it, and it wont hurt me, then why not give it a go? That's all Im trying to say. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I think you should hold off on sex for a while due to your anxiety (pregnancy worries, because when he has gone, I reckon there will be more threads asking if you are prego.) Plus if you are ill it may do you some good to hold off on it for a bit. What if he thinks all you care about is sex? Prove to him that isn't the case! Link to comment
mystique_cf Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 lol well like someone already mentioned in a previous post..its really..always about u...all you care about is yourself i dont understand why u need to do it SOOO bad... If hes the one u are gonna spend the rest of your life with, then u have all the time in the world to do it...sheesh Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I hope you have a nice weekend and feel better soon! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Your b/f sounds like he is a selfless person and my gut feel is his OWN health has also been poor but he is too much of a kind soul to say he doesn't want to have sex because he might not be up for it himself. If he is telling you no to sex I have a feeling there is more behind this then just your own health...he may also not be feeling 100% but too shy to admit that. I also think that if you are talking about these issues with him like you do us, it is slowly turning him off. If a guy has to hear about a girl's issues with "pooping" and colitis, IBS, bad periods,bleeding, clotting, throwing up, etc all the time it is a real TURN OFF. You talk about your bowels constantly and if he is hearing this he might not be in the mood for sex. I suggest thta if you are sharing this with him to ease up. Even when someone isn't feeling well it isn't the best thing to share it with their loved one all the time. He might also be sensing the hypochondria and is just not feeling sex right now. That is my honest gut feel about him saying sex will be iffy this weekend ... Link to comment
yellowcal Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Very good post. Rose, you need to listen to everything Jaded is saying. You share your entire life story with us including each time you go to the restroom I can only imagine what you tell him. Some things are better left to yourself. Link to comment
jul-els Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Your b/f sounds like he is a selfless person and my gut feel is his OWN health has also been poor but he is too much of a kind soul to say he doesn't want to have sex because he might not be up for it himself. If he is telling you no to sex I have a feeling there is more behind this then just your own health...he may also not be feeling 100% but too shy to admit that. Interesting take. I never would have thought of that. I also think that if you are talking about these issues with him like you do us, it is slowly turning him off. If a guy has to hear about a girl's issues with "pooping" and colitis, IBS, bad periods,bleeding, clotting, throwing up, etc all the time it is a real TURN OFF. You talk about your bowels constantly and if he is hearing this he might not be in the mood for sex. I suggest thta if you are sharing this with him to ease up. Even when someone isn't feeling well it isn't the best thing to share it with their loved one all the time. He might also be sensing the hypochondria and is just not feeling sex right now. That is my honest gut feel about him saying sex will be iffy this weekend ... Yeah, if she's talking about this incessantly or frequently then it can't help but to be a little bit of a drag after a while. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Well yes, I do understand what Jaded is saying. But I do not bring this up constantly to him, It's just something I'm worried about right now. And trust me, he is in the mood, and I'm sure once he sees me in the flesh that would be a totaly different story and he wont be able to resist me He is really only concerned for my sake, and I am telling him he has no need to be. If he is TRULY against it, and tells me no, I'm not going to try to force him or "seduce" him. I'll just leave it at that. But he never said a definite answer, we'll just see how things go. You're right, he is very selfless and loving, that's what I love about him so much. He's so sweet and sensitive. He really wants to make sure I'm okay. He's a worrier, just like me lol. Link to comment
mystique_cf Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 if u think that once he sees u, he wont be able to resist u and will jump ur bones, then what is this threads point exactly... to be honest, going through all ur posts, i realize that the problem with u, is that u ask all the WRONG questions, and never the RIGHT Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 true rose, but i think u know the answer to the "problem": if u think that once he sees u, he wont be able to resist u and will jump ur bones also, i dont get what the big deal is with not having sex on ONE occasion but i digress.. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Why don't you plan a really fun day for the two of you - brunch, some outdoor activity, picnic, movie you both want to see, whatever ... and then see how you feel after that. I think it's stressful for both of you to focus on sex, on having AMAZING sex. "Seducing" someone, in a relationship, usually means they can't say no to sex without hurting the other person's feelings and seeming like a total jerk ... imagine how you would react if you got all dressed up in lingerie, and he turned you down. If he says he's not sure sex is a good idea, that means that he is feeling anxious about it, and you assuring him that you're fine doesn't mean he can let go of that anxiety and enjoy it: it just puts more pressure on him. Why don't you try to give the two of you a stress-free, fun day, with NO expectations, and then see how you feel in the evening? (And really - no expectations. You have time to work on that before he gets there: do some exercises to relieve stress/anxiety, and think about how central sex is to the relationship, whether it really matters that much if it doesn't happen on one visit, and how you can work on "relieving" your lust so that you are not pushing sex if he doesn't want it.) Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 If he says he's not sure sex is a good idea, that means that he is feeling anxious about it, and you assuring him that you're fine doesn't mean he can let go of that anxiety and enjoy it: it just puts more pressure on him. Why don't you try to give the two of you a stress-free, fun day, with NO expectations, and then see how you feel in the evening. OUTSTANDING advice. Seducing him adds pressure. There should be no aim towards sex for the weekend at all. Have fun and relax and this should come NATURALLY. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Well the brunch does sound like a lovely idea. (sometimes I wish I lived in the city for occasions such as that, we could eat at a nice little bistro or bakery) But sadly we are EXTREMLY short on cash. He's shelling out $60 in gas just to come down here and doesnt have any extra, and I'm still trying to find a job. $10 is my ,maximum spendure this weekend.=/ What are some cheap, fun activites? Link to comment
melrich Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 $10 is my ,maximum spendure this weekend.=/ What are some cheap, fun activites? Back to sex I guess. Link to comment
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