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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 2 - Day 4 since the break up and from when we last had any kind of communication. I'm on a roller coaster ride of emotions to be honest. I don't care how bad this hurts, I refuse to reach out to her again. When we broke up now for a 2nd time in 3 months after almost a year relationship I didn't make the same errors as the first time. I didn't reason, beg, grovel, there were some non overly dramatic tears on each side and we held each other. We both know it was over. I absolutely REFUSE to reach out to her and sacrifice another drop of my dignity for someone who doesn't deserve it. I started working on me after the first break up so I am continuing on that path, Gym, eating right, Therapist, and practicing self care. I miss her terribly... but I'll be ok.. I know I will. She hasn't reached out and quite frankly I'm a little nervous for the day comes that she will..

 

So block her!

 

I know, I know..."it's not that EASY!!!" But neither is living on pins and needles both hoping and fearing she contacts you.

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I am taking control, this is my life and I have neglected myself for far too long, I dont need anyone but myself, It is not the situation that harms you, it is your judment about it, take away the thought of injury and the injury is gone, view the last months or years with your ex as though it was all just a very long dream and that you are now just waking up from.

 

I contacted my ex after not talking for a whhiiillleee (see my post “third party problems”).

 

I’m restarting my new year (because I spent January correcting some end of 2019 )

 

Anyway Happy New Year and Day 1 of no contact

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Day 3 - Day 5 since the break up and from when we last had any kind of communication.

 

Well made it through the work week... I've lost 9.8lbs, can't eat...can't sleep... The weekend is going to suck without work to keep me distracted but I am filling my time with activities and getting TF out of the house. Going to an all day birthday party one town over with some friends so I will be meeting new people... Cause I really don't know what to do with all my free time.. Made a list of why we can't be friends as suggested and a list of why we didn't work out in my journal will keep rereading them daily till I don't need to anymore.

 

My Feelings: Bounce from Sad to Meh

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Broke NC at day 11 and then again 3 days later.... got mad at myself, but then gave myself a break. I’m only human. I thought he was being nice in text, but I soon realized I was seeing what I desperately wanted to see. I finally saw it for what it really was I saw the truth... “indifference” on his part. This after begging and pleading and blowtorching to get me back for a month and a half 6 months ago... after almost 18 years... yup you read that right 18 YEARS. Well now it’s day 3 and I’m determined this time. I know I’ll do it, because the feeling I had the other day realizing the indifference made me realize I NEVER want to feel that again. So working on myself now and onward and upward....

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  • 3 months later...

Hello guys

I am new here and i have read many others stories to find the way for myself to go through BU. I have been a dumper then he wanted to have a second chance with me. But i were confused too long as he told me so he decided to move on for good. It happened since Jan. And I have been really crazy to emails him, sent text, videos to beg , ask, for other chance explain my feeling, remind about how happy we were together, angry with him...all emotional stuffs. First he still answered because I were still staying in our flat. Then since I moved out he was completely into NC and only answer to my emails every few weeks. Now He kept blocking my Whatssap , FB , number ....when I tried to contact him. He said that email is the only way i can contact him.Then I sent him few emails every day. I tracked it and I know he read every single email I sent to him but no reply, of course. After 7 weeks NC from him( i still sent him emails everyday). He sent me an email to say that he is doing good and he has moved out of the flat.( We used to live together.) he asked me again to stop talking about our long gone relationship. 6 weeks since he sent me last email I still sent him few emails every day. I still read it and yeah no reply as normal. So today is 13th day I have stopped sending him emails. i found out that at 5th day after I go in to NC and don't send him any email , he opened and read the last email i sent to him. I still feel it is so hard to not look at his photos and whatssap to see if he comes online, just to know that he is still there. So i hope this challenge will help me move on and don't look at his photo any more. Hope you guys stay strong and heal soon. i will update my 1st day tomorrow.

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Hello guys

I am new here and i have read many others stories to find the way for myself to go through BU. I have been a dumper then he wanted to have a second chance with me. But i were confused too long as he told me so he decided to move on for good. It happened since Jan. And I have been really crazy to emails him, sent text, videos to beg , ask, for other chance explain my feeling, remind about how happy we were together, angry with him...all emotional stuffs. First he still answered because I were still staying in our flat. Then since I moved out he was completely into NC and only answer to my emails every few weeks. Now He kept blocking my Whatssap , FB , number ....when I tried to contact him. He said that email is the only way i can contact him.Then I sent him few emails every day. I tracked it and I know he read every single email I sent to him but no reply, of course. After 7 weeks NC from him( i still sent him emails everyday). He sent me an email to say that he is doing good and he has moved out of the flat.( We used to live together.) he asked me again to stop talking about our long gone relationship. 6 weeks since he sent me last email I still sent him few emails every day. I still read it and yeah no reply as normal. So today is 13th day I have stopped sending him emails. i found out that at 5th day after I go in to NC and don't send him any email , he opened and read the last email i sent to him. I still feel it is so hard to not look at his photos and whatssap to see if he comes online, just to know that he is still there. So i hope this challenge will help me move on and don't look at his photo any more. Hope you guys stay strong and heal soon. i will update my 1st day tomorrow.

 

take care of yourself, start your own thread, some advises from folks here will definitely help, just in case you want to vent it out, keep away from your ex its a long long way ahead to healing.

Good luck.

 

Welcome to ENA :)

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Day 1

Today is the 1st day of my challenge but it is 13th day i went into NC with him. I feel ok, less hurt, no cry at all. Before I just cried all day and night and sent him 4-5 emails every day. I still think about him but don't look at his photo or Whatsapp to see if he comes online. I spent a lot of time to read many advices from people here. I feel so stupid about that I wasted 4 months to try to contacted him with emails, whatsapp... I did not know that what I did only pushing him to run away from me. I were thinking that i wanted to show him how hard I want to try to fix our relationship. Totally stupid.

After read a lot others stories then I am now in confusion. I know I should stay NC to move on and heal. I should do it for myself not to get him back. But in my mind I am so confused about that I am staying NC with him because I am losing love for him or I am still hanging myself on hope that after some months NC , he will start missing me and will come back to me. I even started to think that what will I do if he contact me again. I don't want to hang myself on this kind of hope. It's not good for me. I want to let him go completely and just live my life. I am also wondering that he had blocked my emails, phone number, FB....then I made a email to contact him but he did not block me. He read all my emails. Some he read 2, 3 times but just don't reply. He told me that he will never give me a second chance. He is over me, don't hurt any more and just want to live his life in peace without me. All of this he told me after I bombed him with tons of emails. He said that i am so selfish. I have to be patient until he wants to talk about things. I have to put my emotions trash together and swallow it down. I can tell him the way i want thing to happen but it doesn't mean he has to follow my way.

So why does he still read my emails? Why he doesn't block my new email ? I don't want to keep wondering about it then it's holding me back from move on and heal. And it makes him stay in my mind longer.

I wish I can know the answer then move on.But I know he will never give me answer.

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Thanks Spawn.

I am getting better every day and I think do meditation and listen to Buddhism help me a lot. I know nothing else I can do, just have to be patient and take time to heal. I have passed the hardest time I guess. I don't cry any more and don't cry in the morning when I fist wake up and wondring how is he doing? Where is he? If he is seeing someone now.... I know it is a good sign. More important is I have accepted that he is not here for me any more. Everything between us is over now. I think i have found the key to open a new door. Just i need more time to be ready for a new life.I know, with him or without him, I still have to live my life.

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day 2.

Still think about him and miss him terribly at afternoon but still under control to don't break NC. Many things are still playing in my mind. many questions and wonder why does he never give me an clear BU. But have to deal with it. Hope for better day tomorrow.

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day 4

I did not break NC but miss him so badly. I thought i am ok now but in fact i am not. I still got bump on my stomach when i think about her. Kept wondering if he is missed me even just a second . Wish all of this hurt is just a night mare.

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  • 3 weeks later...
I thought people would care to reply to my thread. And, kind of provide support but, no; I don't hear from anyone. And, now in the middle of the night, I feel like contacting her but, I just don't wanna. Can anybody out there hear me?

 

You got three responses to your thread. Two of them were extensive.

 

Yes, no contact is a good idea. When you see her on campus simply nod and continue on with your day.

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  • 2 months later...

I have not contacted my ex in about 6 weeks. The last contact I made, I ended up telling her off in a big way, which I think she deserved. The thing is, for the next three weeks, she would contact me about once a week, and she even came around to my place. Nothing happened between us that night - she ended up falling asleep on my couch. Since then, I haven't heard from her.

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  • 2 months later...

Day 2 of NC, relationship ended almost a month ago, but she kept sending me messages, i responded and she starts to blame me for everything. incl. for WWII :), so i stop to reply. With small pauses, she continue to message me. I tried to ignore it. Not wotking.

On Tuesday 27/10/2020 i blocked her everywhere - twitter, fb, viber, phone number, even on gmail. Cannot say at the moment how i feel, maybe it is 50/50 anxiety/great, don't know really.

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