THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[sputnik123]

Keep it going Piaresssss!

[Jan2728]

I'm with you guys day 7 , a lot of ups and downs emotionally.

[Piaresssss]

Day 9. She didnt fix the bill, it came out of my account yesterday

Kind of annoyed she said she was going to do it.

I feel better, not as tired. Thats good. My manager let me leave early yesterday because i felt down.

Shorter day at work today then dinner with sone friends. Should be good.

[sputnik123]

hi Piaresssss,

One thing I have learned.. after a B/U, the ex can absolve themselves of any financial responsibility! Harsh I know, but it happens.

Hope you enjoyed the dinner

[Piaresssss]

hi Piaresssss,

One thing I have learned.. after a B/U, the ex can absolve themselves of any financial responsibility! Harsh I know, but it happens.

Hope you enjoyed the dinner

 

Thank you, im looking forward to it. Funny you say that about finance. It was her idea to switch it to her account suggesting we talk or meet last monday to do it. I did not want to see or talk to her and it can be done through the phone. She just did not bother.

 

I dont know if its her way of trying to comunicate but im not breaking. Not this time.

[sputnik123]

Good for you buddy.

[Piaresssss]

Day 9. She is going to see stone sour tonight. I got her the ticket for our three year anniversary.

 

Im feeling good and thats about it, just feeling good.

 

I heard a story about my ex that made me think she is changing for the worse. Thats not good. Im going from strength to strength.

[sputnik123]

well done Piaresssss

[Jan2728]

Stay strong. I'm hurting A LOT today and yesterday but not reaching out

[Piaresssss]

Day 10. The euphoria of my job interview and killa work out has gone. Im back at work and it sucks.

 

I woke up this morning thinking it was truly over between me and my ex. I realised we havent had any meaningful conversation in the past three months apart from when she came over nearly a month ago and confused the hell put of me.

 

I did want to message and ask how the concert waa but i dont have her nunber so i cant. I could get the number easily but im not going to. Will not do me any good.

[sputnik123]

Keep going Piaresssss..

[Piaresssss]

Keep going Piaresssss..

 

Thank you.

 

Your support means alot

[Jan2728]

Hang in there Im with you.

[Piaresssss]

Day 11. Feeling good today. It is getting easier. My plans have changed twice today and its only 10 o'clock.

 

Personal trainer cancelled, he has a cold. Was gonna go gym on my own but hzve now been called into work. Beats sitting at home all day.

 

So am gonna go gym tonight. Im off tomorrow instead so gotta fill my day somehow. Ill probally just go gym.

[sputnik123]

Well done buddy..

 

Was tempted to break NC last night as couldn't sleep at all.

 

So glad I didn't.. I had nothing to say anyway!!

[Graham13]

My boyfriend broke up with me going on two weeks now and it has been a complete struggle. I haven’t been able to go no contact for more than 2 days. This is my third attempt and second day. I made the mistake of checking his Instagram page and noticed he deleted our pics which really upset me (i know it’s just social media). Deleting the pics just made it seem so final especially because i was still holding on to hope of us getting back together one day. I’m telling myself to remain strong and stick to no contact but a huge part of me wants to reach out and find out why he deleted the pics if there weren’t any negative feelings towards me and he isn’t looking to start something new with someone else. I know no contact is the best thing for me right now but it’s truly an everyday struggle.

[sputnik123]

Keep strong Graham13.. you are in the right place

[Piaresssss]

Still day 11. For some reason have a massive urge to contact her. I was thinking today, can you still win someone back if they do not lobe you any more. All the advice is to move on then try and get them back but moving on implies you dont have feelings anymore. Why is it all so confusing and reconciliation so hard. Then again if it was easy everyone would do it.

[SethSLC]

My boyfriend broke up with me going on two weeks now and it has been a complete struggle. I haven’t been able to go no contact for more than 2 days. This is my third attempt and second day. I made the mistake of checking his Instagram page and noticed he deleted our pics which really upset me (i know it’s just social media). Deleting the pics just made it seem so final especially because i was still holding on to hope of us getting back together one day. I’m telling myself to remain strong and stick to no contact but a huge part of me wants to reach out and find out why he deleted the pics if there weren’t any negative feelings towards me and he isn’t looking to start something new with someone else. I know no contact is the best thing for me right now but it’s truly an everyday struggle.

 

Stay strong and keep going. He deleted them because looking at pictures or seeing an ex's picture hurts. Even for the person who left. They're in pain just like the person who got dumped most of the time and are trying to remove things that when seen cause pain. Don't spend much time thinking about the "why" of social media. That is purely your anxiety making assumptions about the "why" which you'll never know so DON'T waste time trying to figure it out.

[SethSLC]

Still day 11. For some reason have a massive urge to contact her. I was thinking today, can you still win someone back if they do not lobe you any more. All the advice is to move on then try and get them back but moving on implies you dont have feelings anymore. Why is it all so confusing and reconciliation so hard. Then again if it was easy everyone would do it.

 

No you can't win anyone back. If someone wants to be with you they will make the choice to do so. If we don't have romantic love towards someone there is nothing that can be done to change that except time. This isn't Hollywood or some movie or tv show. Life just doesn't generally work that way. You have been doing good so far, just focus on staying occupied and taking one hour at a time.

 

Moving on does NOT mean you have to stop loving someone, it means you need to change how you love them. Put it away in a mental box for now. Don't keep taking it out to play with all the time just leave it on a mental shelf. If you TRULY love someone then you should be capable of loving them without expecting or needing anything in return.

 

Don't give up on your journey of healing, it really DOES get easier. Each day that you stay occupied mentally and physically takes you one step closer to being in a place where you're ok with being alone and your heart is whole again. Then you're ready to take that box off the shelf and look at it.

[Piaresssss]

Day 12. Rubbish day, im down but not because i miss my ex. I didnt get the job and feel as if my life is stick again.

 

I was very happy woth the progression and development in my life and now it just feels like in stuck again. Oh well back to applying

[Piaresssss]

No you can't win anyone back. If someone wants to be with you they will make the choice to do so. If we don't have romantic love towards someone there is nothing that can be done to change that except time. This isn't Hollywood or some movie or tv show. Life just doesn't generally work that way. You have been doing good so far, just focus on staying occupied and taking one hour at a time.

 

Moving on does NOT mean you have to stop loving someone, it means you need to change how you love them. Put it away in a mental box for now. Don't keep taking it out to play with all the time just leave it on a mental shelf. If you TRULY love someone then you should be capable of loving them without expecting or needing anything in return.

 

Don't give up on your journey of healing, it really DOES get easier. Each day that you stay occupied mentally and physically takes you one step closer to being in a place where you're ok with being alone and your heart is whole again. Then you're ready to take that box off the shelf and look at it.

 

Thats a nice way to put it. Im struggling to put it in this box because of certain things she said to me the last time we saw each other.

 

Thats sort of what i ment about winning her back. Not through some grand gesture or begging but time and space and contacting her when the feeling in my gut is gone. So that if she does not feel the same im gonna be okay.

[Graham13]

I really want to contact him and find out “why”. He broke up with me so I don’t see why he would be in pain.

[Graham13]

I’m at a point where i feel like i can’t talk to anyone because this breakup is all I’ve talked about to my friends & i don’t want to annoy them. Every time i think I’m doing better something triggers a memory and i begin to miss him. Maybe it would be easier if our relationship was dramatic or toxic. It was one-sided, he didn’t love me, and that should be all the reason i need to move on but it’s hard. I gave my all & it feels like it was all for nothing. I know i can’t force him to be with me but i have sooo many urges to plead with him just one more time. But i refuse to compromise my dignity by begging. I had to break no contact because of a billing situation with an app, so now I’m back to day one of no contact. Idk if i can make it.

[tt1986]

I’m at a point where i feel like i can’t talk to anyone because this breakup is all I’ve talked about to my friends & i don’t want to annoy them. Every time i think I’m doing better something triggers a memory and i begin to miss him. Maybe it would be easier if our relationship was dramatic or toxic. It was one-sided, he didn’t love me, and that should be all the reason i need to move on but it’s hard. I gave my all & it feels like it was all for nothing. I know i can’t force him to be with me but i have sooo many urges to plead with him just one more time. But i refuse to compromise my dignity by begging. I had to break no contact because of a billing situation with an app, so now I’m back to day one of no contact. Idk if i can make it.

 

I get the start of this, and the end in terms of dignity and self worth. I'm over a month in now, and I kind of ended up there by accident. Although she cooled things a month prior, we'd met a couple of times and she was still initiating talk with me. After a couple of attempts to meet were met with what felt like fob offs I was abit short with some responses and kind of left things alone with her, expecting/hoping she'd let me know about meeting like she said. Fast forward a week, no contact and she'd cleared me off her social media. It stung as we hadn't argued at all, I wasn't sure if I annoyed her or she was just cutting me loose. So I was left to continue NC without actually formally having a proper break up or cutting off of contact, which leaves me with a load of unresolved things I want to say and a bunch questions in my own head. And a great urge to reach out. Its probably not a good idea at this point, but I can't stop going over old ground in my head and questioning things I may or may not have done wrong, pointless as it now is. Hopefully in time this will ease. I try not to talk about it too much as I think those around me think I should have moved on more than I have. I'm ok when I'm busy and occupied, which seems to me to be key, but when that all the noise stops I'm back here again, which sucks. Hopefully with a busy period coming up I will not be thinking about all this as much and I'll be picking myself up better