THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[js0905]

Nothing new to report. Still haven't heard from him. Probably wont ever hear from him again.

 

Oh well....

[pisces302]

Hmmm I think I need to go back to Day 1 starting tomorrow.

 

I texted him earlier this week regarding removing him from my home insurance. I didn’t think this was breaking NC as I needed his signature, however, he asked how things were going, instead of just replying fine I confided in him about my best friend’s miscarriage. I was having some trouble dealing with it, wanted to call him immediately (didn’t) and he had known she was pregnant (very few people did.) I also didn’t want him to bump into her and ask her about it.

 

Then today he’s been texting about his mail and if he left a piece of ID here. I replied one-liners but he followed up by asking how my friend was doing. It’s my own fault for telling him about my friend but I think I will re-start the no contact again tomorrow. I am annoyed he is emailing about dumb – of course if I found his ID or his mail arrived I would text him.

 

I truly want to let him go. If I love him the way I say I do I would….it’s just sooo hard. I also know whatever is meant to be will be…whether it’s with him or someone else…but its so hard to remember this. And I can only control myself and my actions and thoughts...I just still feel like i 'lost' him.

[stillgrieving]

Day 16...

 

Ups and downs still. Hung out with friends this weekend to try to stay busy but mostly I just want to stay home and mope. Actually been reading a book about commitmentphobia.. quite interesting. It pointed out a lot of signs and signals of commitment-phobe guys. Hit it right on the nose. Don't think there was anything I could have done differently. Our relationship ran its course. It went as far as it could have gone.

[OneExistence]

Day one... Again...

 

She came over all happy and bubbly last night to give me my copies of the final divorce papers. Two months from happily (or so I thought) married to divorced. 7.5 years gone. I'm going into full NC this time, let's see if she even bothers to reach out.

[LilSprout]

Day 8 (I think??)

 

This weekend was a bit tricky, went to go visit my friend's in my old Uni's city and they live really close to where my ex lived when we first met. Brought back a lot of good memories but made me sad none the less. Though I didn't contact him.

 

I'm very mixed about it because I did talk briefly to a friend about the situation, it's hard because I still really want him back but it's difficult to decipher if I'm just lonely/scared I won't find anyone else or if I really feel there is a connection there. I don't think I would be able to know unless I saw him again/talked face to face; really frustrating. Equally, just as I thought I'd forgiven him I have an afternoon where I feel angry again and think badly of him; what if he did come back? Would taking him back make him think he didn't do anything wrong? I don't want him to think he can just drop me simply because he's lazy and then date some messed up girl and STILL come back. It's not acceptable behaviour at all!

 

Then again, he has not come back.

 

I think I'm going to give up on dating soon. Keep talking to guys, getting excited for a couple of days then quickly find they rub me up the wrong way or I'm disinterested or it's just too much work right now. Still don't want to be alone but the sheer effort. My first two relationships just happened, it was at no point a struggle when it came to commencing a relationship, though now I'm older I fear that those easy times are done and now I'm going to have to work to the bone to get anyone. It feels really unnatural to me and I don't see love growing well in that environment; fear I may just have to find someone that's 'ok'/'will do' if I don't want to be alone, I feel I'm at an age now where all the good ones are taken until they get divorced in their early 30s.

 

I almost want an easy short term relationship as a distraction right now but once again it's not easy it's such effort to even do that.

[stillgrieving]

Day 17...

 

Ups and downs.. I still find it hard to believe someone can just end things so abruptly. Still reading the commitmentphobia books and I guess it makes sense. They are scared so they just run. Things are great and as you get closer, they get scared and want to run. I've been dating long enough and I've never seen anyone run like that before. Its hurtful. It sucks. I'm still grieving the loss. I do miss him. I don't feel the urge to contact him anymore. I just miss our contact. I miss out little inside jokes. I miss all the text messages in the middle of the day. I miss sharing our lives. I keep telling myself I deserve someone that is fully committed to me.

[Monkey ai]

day 13

 

This is the longest NC that I have with him, last few days were hard, not sure if my PMS, I miss him, wondering what he is doing, I am not surprising if he already start dating...

As much I miss him, I know it is no way to get back with him if he is not willing to change, I need be strong, get over this.

Still not sure why he is not give back my stuff, it is not very nice...

[WLL77]

Day 1

 

She said she wanted to breakup with me on Sunday. We share a house together so having space is hard.

I asked her last night to think about the good in our relationship and to give me us a chance. Told her I would give her space to think.

Broke this afternoon when I txted her during lunch, I guess after four years some habits die hard. Am starting over now.

[guychris14]

Day 15 . .

 

I had a really good day a couple of days ago felt normal, didn't think about her and was smiling and joking at work! but it didn't last..it was just a glimmer of my former self.

 

Today is hard again, 15 days NC...And my head feels muzzy, my thoughts are sad and I am wallowing in self pity...My ego is bruised and am struggling to smile.

 

I want off this Ride!!

[MisSunny]

Well, I'm back again. Reconciliation lasted maybe... A month. I'm well and truly done, now. I received the fabulous news around 6:30 pm today; I told him I'd like to talk about it in person and he said.... He's not free to talk to me until 11pm. Then he doesn't actually get here until nearly 1am. And not only THAT. But he BROUGHT SOMEONE WITH HIM to serve as an audience for this debacle, so I didn't even say half of what I wanted.

 

The basis of this? He decided two days ago that, wait a minute, he actually DOESN'T love me, never mind what he said for the past month. I asked what changed his mind, and apparently nothing did, and nothing prompted him to realize it. He doesn't even want to try to look into why things suddenly changed, or see if we can work past it, or even really see if it's just a passing disenchantment. I'm pissed, and sad, and truly done with it. I only regret that he couldn't have made this decision a month ago and spared me this now. But I don't really regret trying again. I do believe in second chances and I believed him when he said he wanted this again.

 

He knows there's no 3rd chances, and that I won't want to speak with him for a long time... If ever. But I hate feeling this lonely, empty feeling AGAIN. At least I'll be a bit stronger this time than I was last time.

[LilSprout]

Day 10

 

Not too bad today. Was feeling quite sad yesterday. Been ill (again) and getting stressed out that work think I'm messing them about, booked a doctors appointment to see if I can get to the bottom of why I am so tired and why I keep getting unwell. I need a new job though, this was is draining me. But yes, as you can see, I felt down so he crept into my thoughts.

 

Not feeling so bad today though. A friend of mine wants to set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends. I'm not so sure, I feel a bit mean but I don't find him physically attractive but in a weird way it would be a nice.....time waster? I guess, I don't know might push me to move on. I haven't spoken to him yet though so obviously I have no idea of his character, got to find if we even have anything in common.

[Monkey ai]

Day 16

 

bounce back since yesterday, I am happy about it, I guess I need accept the ride, I need keep up, have a good day to everyone.!

[Fame1977]

Well. I gave in after 10 days. I'm glad to see you're doing ok. This whole thing is weird to me since, we're not even officially broken up. Maybe you're afraid to tell me, or something. I don't know. I do know this being in limbo thing bites.

[Rjones91]

Day 12 of complete NC and Day 45 of very LC....and I just heard you were chosen for a job 6hrs away. I'm kinda shocked, as I am feeling a little hurt that you will be leaving soon, but I wish you and the boys well. I haven't been this emotional at all since the breakup, wondering why I am getting all emotional now. I miss the boys really bad and I am slowly beginning to miss you as well. Not enough to pick up the phone and call or text you though. Continuing on my journey forward, as I hope and pray to lose all feelings I have for you really soon. I love you and congrats on your new gig.

 

PS:

I definitely won't be contacting you with any congrats and that kinda oddly placed a smile on my face and a chuckle in my heart. Weird but hey, its working for me at this very moment and I am most important at this time.

[stillgrieving]

Day 19..

 

It does get easier. I'm not tempted to contact him tho I still miss our times together.

[Aaron Hodges]

Day14: last contact I had with her was a letter in response to her calling me to tell me she is dating her acrobatics partner, which confirmed my suspicions that she left me for him, and that she'd been emotionally cheating on me with him. My letter explained all this and told her we couldn't be friends.

 

We were together three years. I was going to ask her to marry me these holidays. Been two and a half months since breakup. I just can't imagine what it's going to be like never seeing her again. She utterly betrayed my trust, but I still love her and would kill to have what we had back.

 

Don't know how to get past this, but only way nc can end now would be a heart felt apology from her

[MisSunny]

Went to board game night tonight. I considered not going, because it was something we did together, but it was also something I did before the short lived reconciliation without him. So I decided to go. I need to re-establish routines, and keep busy. Plus I always have a good time with board game night. For the most part I did very well, focusing on the games instead of whatever sadness I might be feeling. I did get a bit sad before I left, but my friend who tagged along with me snapped me out of it.

 

Been thinking on things. I fully realize that I deserve to be with someone who will fight for me, and not just give up, like the ex has done twice now, but I still mourn for the relationship that is now truly dead. It just feels like such a waste, because we did have a good relationship. I know I can keep myself mostly focused on what I deserve(ie, someone who treats me the way I want to be treated), but at the same time I know I will feel this sadness every once in awhile. When it comes down to it, I do still love him, and I will for awhile, because I can't just stop loving someone that simply. But whether I love him or not isn't the question. the question is, at this point, can I trust him? Absolutely not.

 

I just hope he leaves me alone long enough for me to have regained my strength of will to tell him "no" when he comes sniffing back around.

[MisSunny]

Whaaaaat? Ntohing had anything to say about the 17th? Crazy. Anyway, I went to a Music and Comedy showcase at the little coffee shop that has the open mic night I frequent... And it was RIDICULOUSLY fun. The performers were all SO good, and the crowd got so rowdy and fun... Lots of eye candy there, too. All in all, a step toward re-establishing my routines. I barely felt sad at all today.

[LilSprout]

Day 12 (if I'm counting correctly)

 

Still feeling unwell which is a bummer but much better than I was.

 

Really really missing him and all my friends in his county today, it sucks how much I lost from this break up. I just want him to be here and for us to snuggle up together and watch a film. Sometimes I find myself wondering whether he feels the same and what he's doing but then I have to quickly stop myself when I remember he's with someone else.

[Gem Jaja]

Day 30 of my NC

 

my virgo guy cut me off completely when I was having problem with my health that i thought is cancer and i aas needy of him (which i know is a fault in my part). I don't know if i could still hold it. My ex friend's had been posting in their facebook wall about our breakup since i deleted the guy from my friends list. I am having compulsion to confront him about it. But i guess i really have to hold myself from doing it. I'm confused on what to do now. A part of me wanted to move on but seeing those statuses at facebook and him top 1 in my fb search box is making it difficult for me.

[MisSunny]

Yesterday was another good one. Maybe I should only post my days up when something notable regarding my experience happens. Too many post'll just end up me recapping what I did for the day... Had a party last night, it was fun. Might be feeling one of the guys who came, but who knows what happens? Possibilities are endless.

[guychris14]

Day 21 . . .

 

Well everyone its true!!

 

Each day does get easier, maybe not a lot but enough....I still get the blues and I still have really down moments but way less than before...

 

I'm staying NC for sure.....

 

I really hope that every one else is doing ok too xxx

[Lucha]

Broke up 7 weeks ago - NC DAY 6

 

I accept the challenge. I have made a calendar to cross days as they pass by. I have to remind myself that I have tried everything that was within my power to save our relationship. But my ex gf apparently didn't want it to be saved. I did what I could. Now I have to accept that and find peace on my own again. No contact will help me. Today is a good day bc I'm going to see a friend, so I'm busy..

 

Good luck everyone x

[stillgrieving]

Day 24...

 

Well there was a time I thought I wouldn't make it past double digits and now I'm at day 24. I was driving home last night after hanging out with a friend all day and I just started sobbing in the car. I do miss him. For the life of me, I can't understand how this all went wrong. Still 6 more days till 30 days. Then I will aim for 60 and then 90. Sigh.

[LilSprout]

Day 15 (half way there)

 

The temptation to check the Facebook eurgh!! So damn high, but it won't tell me anything. I know he hasn't unfriended any of my mates or my sister but I found that out accidentally and it's not really news anyway. In fact I don't even really care.

 

However I did get made redundant from my job yesterday so feeling pretty when it comes to losing things, though I didn't like my job much anyway. Think my boss is a bit weirded out I'm so ok about it but yeah like I said, was sort of looking for a new job anyway, there were a lot of warning signs and in the grand scheme of things it's certainly nowhere near as bad as losing my BF.

 

Wish he was here now for a cuddle and to make me feel better.