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Monkey ai

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  1. Monkey ai
    5.5 Months BU After almost 3 months NC(Dated 9 Months, we both in 40s), he contact me and mentioned that he want talk about us, I thought I am almost over him, it stirred some my emotion, but I know what I want... He ask me if I am over us, or we still have chance... he admitted that he treat me deadly sometime, and he knowledge he have intimacy issues, I told him that I don't know(I am not sure why I said that), as I am not sure I can trust him, and he still have that controlling issues... At this moment, I felt most likely we are not able to work out, but something about him that i still want??? I have some mix feeling and not sure just let him know it is over... or give chance... he is someone I felt most compatible in likes wise, but his issues (not sure he is BPD/NPD, or intimacy issue), he seems not relationship material... He is on his vacation from this weekend, so I will think over, maybe write him a email… not sure!
  2. Monkey ai
    Thanks for the encouragement and I do believe NC will help you see thing with distance and clarity.
  3. Monkey ai
    He just texted me and wants talk about "US" , I am not sure if I want him back, one side he is someone has very similar life style and likes as mine, I do felt somewhat falling in love, but sametime he is not good relationship material( he have been sabotage a potential good relationship all the way), I am not sure he is able to handle a healthy relationship, and I have doubts long term. I have met someone I like, but just few weeks… but he is most sweetest guy I have not met a longtime… but I wish I know I will talk with my ex, but I am not sure what I am going to do, but I know I will take my time, it is about me,
  4. Monkey ai
    Good reminder... I have been BU 5 months, almost 3 months NC, but he broke NC last few days, it really stirred up my emotion in some level, I am not sure what he wants, I don’t like what he tries to enter my life when he want something… I thought I am almost over him and start seen new person, and then he come to you out of nowhere…
  5. Monkey ai
    Day 83 I am no longer to desire of him, do I think about him from time to time, yes, but life is more beautiful now, I able to look at my relationship from distance, and I know I deserve more... I am seeing new persons, and know what is about love and care that I receive for other people. NC makes me distance from my past and move forward. Guess What, yesterday after 82 days NC, he texted me, of course just check in see how I am doing, I will make peace with him, but I have no longer desire of him , nor I felt bad and nerves of him, they are no expectation... keep up everyone, you will get over your past, start new life!
  6. Monkey ai
    remind yourself how he treaded you unfairly, you want someone treat you love, care, respect and trust. save your good emotion to someone able to treat you same Take care, and have fun with dating and been single!!
  7. Monkey ai
    Day 79 I am writing here not for my ex but for myself, it is first time in my life that I use NC to heal, before I always go with my flow, but I have learned from previous break up, I want clean BU and move on... I think NC did help me to move on, I still miss him, but I do not see there are anything that I need talk with him about it, I do not think he is in love with me, I accepted the fact not delusion...I can see the relationship start with too much chemistry, we both too serious for this relationship, but he is emotionally unstable, do not know how to handle relationship… as much I want try, I cannot. As much I want to working on our relationship, but with his unstable emotion and immature, it did not work! NOW- I have this incredible feeling, the free and want be free feeling, I feel sexy and confident, I want be in relationship and sametime I don’t want, I felt liberating and happy I have met a guy J, he is soo sweet, I like him, want spend time with him, but I do not want in relationship at this moment, I want be free…
  8. Monkey ai
    Day 32 Looking forward!!!!! NOT back!!!
  9. Monkey ai
    Day 26 I am proud of myself, but last few days were hard, I think it is my PMS... Sunday will be one year that I met him, but I know I will be ok, as my sis with me, she keep me busy… I am trying to find therapist, as it is not normal for me, with this short relationship, it should not take a long to recovery... I need work on myself, and be happy again. I know the happiness is within…
  10. Monkey ai
    Day 11 Last few days were hard for me, I am sad, not we are not together, I am sad and dispointed the modern love, fear has been consumed everyone… he is online dating site already, and I thought I want do that too, but I want wait for myself… went out for few dates, the guy was really into me, i love the feeling be adored and cared, but I don't feel same as he does, so told him I am not not ready for any relationship, because I still have broken heart… sometime I wondering if I made right move to tell him" contact me only he want to working on the relationship" I am thinking to find a therapist , I want to be healthy and love again...
  11. Monkey ai
    Day 1 I told him, do not contact unless he want to work on our relationship or he needs my help, this is second time that I told him... he still confused, and very selfishly contact me and hangout, as he have hard time to let it go... I have no solutions, as he doesn’t know his feelings to me...I told him I want a clean cut; let's just move on our life. I am going to move on, start go out...
  12. Monkey ai
    It feel strange about our conversation on Sunday, I never able to stand up for myself, you are cold, but I know I will be strong this time, I know I am too good for you.
  13. Monkey ai
    after talk with you, I feel free and finally I am free to move on, I feel good, you want date me but sametime want date others??? are you crazy… I am the best you can find, and too bad, you lost me for good I feel light!
  14. Monkey ai
    good for you!
  15. Monkey ai
    my two colleagues both are married, one was broke up 4 mos due to misunderstanding( she thought he kissed other girl), now they are married for 6 years have 2 kids. other broke up 6 years, and bump to each other, and married and have one child.
  16. Monkey ai
    Day 16 bounce back since yesterday, I am happy about it, I guess I need accept the ride, I need keep up, have a good day to everyone.!
  17. Monkey ai
    last few days were hard, I miss you, I miss everything about you, but not silent treatment… I miss the daily texts , weekends, and double movies nights. are you miss me too? call me!
  18. Monkey ai
    day 13 This is the longest NC that I have with him, last few days were hard, not sure if my PMS, I miss him, wondering what he is doing, I am not surprising if he already start dating... As much I miss him, I know it is no way to get back with him if he is not willing to change, I need be strong, get over this. Still not sure why he is not give back my stuff, it is not very nice...
  19. Monkey ai
    5 Days feeling is strange thing, I didn't think of you for whole day, but on my way to home, I start thinking of you. just baked cookies second time, I am start using my new kitchen now, too bad, I bought all of the best appliances, because you, as you are such amazing cooker, I so enjoyed see you in the kitchen, i thought it was the most sexy guy can do… it made my sad, we are going have so much fun in my new apt… I miss our travelling experience too, you are so good with that… I want to go warm place now… I need sun on my skin... as much as I miss all good things with you, but I know I cannot be with you if you give those silent treatments, that is NO NO, if we even back together, you need seek profissional helps, otherwise I will not be with you, even I love all good parts of you. Almost my days are good, I am happy I am content and ready for my new challenge in my life, and I am excited … Bye- I hope you will figure out your issues and have happy life..
  20. Monkey ai
    Day 1 Not really contact him, but was New Year, I forgive myself on that. I know this BU will be much easier, as I am really in control most time, personally I do not believe NC, I like NIC, but I think I will like to be clean as possible this time. That is why I want to give it try. Only the issues, that he still have my things at his place, for some reasons, he still hold it, not give to me, I did ask him 1st day when we BU, he always says “ very soon he will drop off…” it is been almost 4 weeks already... Yesterday was hard, as I realize I did have good time with him last year, we have done so much travelling together, he did bring so much joy in my life, pain was intense, but joy was incredible too… Need move on w/without him!!!
  21. Monkey ai
    hi Guys, please try to relax, just other day, I miss my ex, but I am not going to stress out anymore, i promised myself, I am going to have a great 2014, w/without my ex, it is not worth it. have few glasses wine, and say hi to all your good friends, if ex will text me, I will reply with kindness and pride, no expectation. I was so sad early at work, almost burst my tear front my colleague, but now I know I need be strong and welcome new year, when you have positive attitude , it will bring positive out come. USMC82- I have BU with one of my BF years ago, I was dumper, because he doesn't know what he want, he moved away, and we keep low contact(he told me that he can't not get over me that time), and I start dating, but was not fulfilled( I dated a guy for 6 months), I start miss him after 9 mos later, and sametime he start calling me all the time, and he invited me to visit him, i thought why not, but I have no expatiation, just want have fun, turned out, he told me he is sure he is falling love with me, so we get back after 1 year and 3 months. so I just want you know you have to move on and in order to get her back, , by the time you will know if she is one or not. Happy New Year everyone, we are going to have a great year!!!! just believe that !
  22. Monkey ai
    25 days BU for some reasons, I feel hard today, I do not want do any stupid things, as I have urge want to hear from him... it has been BU almost one month, I am doing quite good, this time I don’t felt pain as last time, I guess I want to BU with you too... I never initiated contact with him, he did, want to meet, I really not ready, as I was upset, and he is very unpredictable, I do not want be hurt by him again. But inside of me do have desire if he can change…. He is one of the most compatible partner I never have, look back this year, I have such fun with him, and I was so happy, maybe I didn’t show it… but I was happy…but his mood and unstable attitude to the relationship, I cannot take it, even he want to come back, it has to be some changes, he has to go to see therapist. I am debating if I will send him happy New Year greeting, as he sent me Christmas one…
  23. Monkey ai
    start day one, I have been NC with him for 8 days, but yesterday he sent me a sweet text, I was not strong enough, we start a little conversation as below, I should not reply the text, but I was really missing him, I ask him to mail my stuff back to me two weeks ago, he never did, as I really do not want see him, I want to move on, unless he is willing see the therapist …. what do you think about him through the text? yesterday: Him dog) says,"hope you're keeping warm!" me: same to him too! Today: him: Haha. He is. He has two outfits total now. By the way, are you available to meet for coffee today for a few minutes? Doughnut Plant? me: hey, can I ask the reason for meet? it is too early for us to meet, too fresh…Ok. Him: No problem. I'll drop off your stuff soon. Probably next week. Do you still have my iPhone 5 charger? me: thanks for your understanding, as much as I love to see you and miss u...I will mail your iPhone charge to you soon, I will be home today, if you want drop off it is fine. stay warm!
  24. Monkey ai
    You and me become a good friend now? it seems that we both enjoy it... as I start see R last 4 weeks, the thought of you have start diminish everyday now and then, R makes felt have future, and he is shy and sweet, which I like... never thought I will date a Asian guy, but it is happening; I don't mind, he has sprite and he have soul, he really get me... Life is mystery, I don't where will lead me to, but I like this feeling... I do!
  25. Monkey ai
    i know I still have feeling, but same time I know I need let everything go... your emotionally immature, and self centered, I am not sure I can handle someone like that... I do not hate you, but I wish I got a sincerely apology, but I know I will never have... I decided, I will let u go ... and I am looking forward my new life... and hope one day, we can be friends or family . bye!
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