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stillgrieving

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  1. stillgrieving
    An update... Its been about 9 month since my breakup in December. Went into No Contact shortly after that. I remember how difficult it was to carry forward with my life. I remember counting the days. I remember sobbing in my car as I drove to work in the mornings. So my advice... stay busy! Go out. Do something, anything. Go to dinner with friends, go to happy hour, go to the store and buy stuff and make something and bring the goodies to your office, do ANYTHING. You will soon realize that your life is better off without that person and someone better will come along. My ex and I always had issues with the overbearingness of his family and them always interfering with our relationship. Oh wait, I mean *I* had a problem with it. He could have welcomed his whole family into our bedroom. I don't miss him at all. I don't miss the aggravation. I'm just annoyed that I wasted that much time waiting for him to "change". He wasn't. He's a 36 yr old man now, never had a serious relationship before me and I swear all he wants in his life is to marry his mother and sister so that's fine by me. I couldn't stand that freak show of a family anymore and there was no way I was going to ever be able to tolerate it for a lifetime. So good riddance! I am still waiting the man I met a few months ago my friend introduced me to a few months. Going 6 months strong! We have fun together.
  2. stillgrieving
    back again.. not counting days anymore. my double date was FANTASTIC. i met this guy and he is super sweet to me. way better than my ex ever was to me even in the beginning. we've been going out, getting to know each other and its been great. im excited to see where this goes. i could care less about my ex. once you guys heal, go back out there and date again. you'll realize you wasted so much time thinking about a loser. i'm about 3 months post breakup now and 2.5 months no contact. could care less if i ever heard from him again.
  3. stillgrieving
    Day 61... No more tears. Still sad and I still thunk about him. I even have dreams. And I feel I may never understand why things ended. But it's his loss. I have a double date this weekend I'm looking forward to.
  4. stillgrieving
    Day 53... Almost 60 days! Time has definitely not flown by. It has been the longest 53 days of my life. I am doing better. Calmer. Less emotional. I must say I feel angrier now. A month ago I would have given my left arm just to her from him. Now? I don't really care. Went on my first date last week and it went ok but no sparks. I think I will start online dating in March.
  5. stillgrieving
    Day 47... getting over it slowly.. day by day. last week i was really miserable and crying a lot on my way home, on my drive to work. this week has been better. i started going to yoga and working out more, not sure if its the endorphins or just keeping my mind busy. its sort of a catch 22 because i've felt so depressed that i don't even want to do anything so how can i possible muster up the energy to go work out? but anyways, i've worked out 4 times this week which is something i haven't done since my single days. tomorrow is valentines day and i plan to spend it with friends. i'm not expecting him to get in contact for vday nor ever again really. i have my first date in a long time tonight. not terribly excited about the date but its a way to get back on the horse. we'll see how it goes.
  6. stillgrieving
    Day 38... Haven't been doing so well the past few days. I've been crying a lot in my car and when I'm alone. I've even tried at my desk at work and in the bathroom. I'm not sure why its still so hard. Its been a month and a half since we broke up. I keep asking why he would say he hasn't been happy when I know he has. I remember how happy we were and I know he acknowledged that. Its like he said a bunch of stupid stuff during our breakup just to push me away, to justify it. Anyways, its been really hard the last few days. I thought that I would be much better after Day 30 and now I'm thinking about going into therapy or something. I keep writing emails to myself (directed towards him). Whats the point of sending something he probably won't respond anyways? Plus, I'm hoping that what they say is true, that in weeks 6-8 is when the dumper feels the lost the most and contemplates the relationship. I'm approaching that soon. Plus I'm still a mess so its not like I'm ready to break no contact and reach out to him.
  7. stillgrieving
    Day 30! I've completed the 30 day challenge! How do I feel? I feel more at peace. Its been about a month and a half since our breakup. I am more in control of my emotions and my feelings. It is still hard to accept that it is over. I feel like we're still not done yet. Like there's still more to say or resolve and work out. I understand that our relationship couldn't keep continuing the way it was and it had to change. I'm hoping that our time apart has forced him to think about the things he needs to change for our relationship to work, that is if its worth it to him. I don't feel the urge to contact him but I do wonder what he is thinking, if he's thinking about me, or thinking about relationship. Guess I will continue NC and see how I feel at 60 days..
  8. stillgrieving
    Day 26.. still sucking... but understanding that the breakup had to happen in order for things to change. there was no way of compromising anymore than i already did.
  9. stillgrieving
    Day 24... Well there was a time I thought I wouldn't make it past double digits and now I'm at day 24. I was driving home last night after hanging out with a friend all day and I just started sobbing in the car. I do miss him. For the life of me, I can't understand how this all went wrong. Still 6 more days till 30 days. Then I will aim for 60 and then 90. Sigh.
  10. stillgrieving
    Day 19.. It does get easier. I'm not tempted to contact him tho I still miss our times together.
  11. stillgrieving
    Day 17... Ups and downs.. I still find it hard to believe someone can just end things so abruptly. Still reading the commitmentphobia books and I guess it makes sense. They are scared so they just run. Things are great and as you get closer, they get scared and want to run. I've been dating long enough and I've never seen anyone run like that before. Its hurtful. It sucks. I'm still grieving the loss. I do miss him. I don't feel the urge to contact him anymore. I just miss our contact. I miss out little inside jokes. I miss all the text messages in the middle of the day. I miss sharing our lives. I keep telling myself I deserve someone that is fully committed to me.
  12. stillgrieving
    Day 16... Ups and downs still. Hung out with friends this weekend to try to stay busy but mostly I just want to stay home and mope. Actually been reading a book about commitmentphobia.. quite interesting. It pointed out a lot of signs and signals of commitment-phobe guys. Hit it right on the nose. Don't think there was anything I could have done differently. Our relationship ran its course. It went as far as it could have gone.
  13. stillgrieving
    Day 13... This is the longest I've ever gone. Doing OK today. I keep telling myself that its up to him to reach out to me. I will not chase him or try to "convince" him what a good thing he's missing out on. He knows the happy times we've had together. He knows that its him. He's the one that has to take the next step to move our relationship forward. If he can't recognize whatever we had was pretty special, then whats the point? He can keep trying to forget me. He can keep trying to hide from all our memories but you can't hide from your heart. I have to believe that he is going to realize what a mistake he made ending our relationship. If he doesn't, then it wasn't worth it anyways. At least I'll hit 30 days before reevaluating what to do. Probably go for 60, then 90, then forever.
  14. stillgrieving
    Day 12... Yesterday was definitely a better day. I was thinking more along the lines of "its his loss." Today, not so much. Woke up this morning thinking about him. Cried a little on my drive to work. I don't understand why the days are passing by so slowly. I feel compelled to call him, to email him, to try to work things out. I've always believed that relationships are built on communication and we have to talk to work things out. After reading this forum, I get that there are just so many negative feelings and everything that happened at the heat of the moment and everything is just so fresh so I guess we need to take some time to reflect on everything. Its just so hard because I feel like he's getting on with his life forgetting about me. But then I tell myself, how is that even possible? I spent over a year with the guy, and a very happy year it was. He can't forget that so quickly. I would like to think he's sitting there at his desk thinking about us too.
  15. stillgrieving
    I am on for this challenge. I've been reading this forum for a few days now but finally decided to create an acct and post my acceptance to this challenge and share some struggles along the way. Breakup was 2nd week of Dec. First day of no contact was 12/29. Today is Day 11! Double digits! Woot!
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