THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Nappyloxs]

day 11

 

I'm in a pretty down mood. I thought he would have contacted me by now, because that's his usual pattern. Maybe he sees how much it hurt me to be around him so he's doing this for my own good. Who knows...

 

Don't feel down. You are actually giving him some credit/control. Be proud that you have gone 11 days with NC. You are 10 days ahead of me. I am still in day 1.

[Nappyloxs]

Well, her...but yeah.

 

 

I just don't see how someone can do that...it seems so awful to just forget about someone you were with, even for a time as short as 8 months. You go from talking every single day, to absolute nothing. Granted she's had some tough things thrown at her, but really? I just get forgotten?

 

I must really suck. Day 15.

 

That was what I use to wonder. I was with my ex. for 2.5 years living together. She cut off all contact right after our breakup.

 

It really does suck at first. I was wondering has she moved on? Does she not care? How could she not contact me after 2.5 years living together? I realized she just was better at no contact, that she really wants it over.

 

I once read somewhere that it takes 2 to be in a relationship and 1 to end it. Well she ended it. Now two months later, I have accepted it. I realized why would I want to be with someone who after 2.5 years living together could just completely shut me out like that. It wasn't even like she found someone new or something. That I could understand. It was just because she did not love me anymore.

 

Day 1 still going great!!! I feel great. Still think about her, but I have told her every thing. Nothing more I can say to her.

[coolchick64]

Day 10

 

Wow, I'm in the double digits. And . . . yesterday was the first time I heard from him and didn't respond, so I guess this is NC for real now. Granted, he wrote me the most obtuse and bizarre ping ever. After 9 days of NC, I get a message that simply says, "gnite!" Oh, and it had a smiley face. Well, okay. Goodnight to you, too. If he has something to say to me, I wish he'd just come out and say it. If he doesn't, I wish he'd just leave me alone.

[JustOneSecond]

Doing terribly at NC. He texted me pretty randomly at the weekend at about 4 in the morning. If he's thinking about me at that time i hope he's feeling as s*** as i do about this.

 

He's been leaving quite a few comments on my fb statuses etc. and last night, he struck up an instant messaging convo which is a complete first. This is after i started talking to new guys on fb, maybe it's showing that im getting male attention other than him. I feel obliged to respond to him in a friendly manner, even though it just gets my hopes up unnecessarily.

 

Every time he contacts me in some way i get a temporary high, then i just feel depressed again the next day. The mornings are worst.

[stargirl1980]

Day 19

 

Feeling much better.

[iamnot]

I'm on day 8.

 

It's awful. I have a feeling I'm gonna crack when I'm drunk tonight. I really hoped that she would crack first, but I just don't think it's gonna happen.

 

I know that I shouldn't text her. I know that it won't help in any way. It's really hard to not have that feeling that I just want to know how she's doing.

[w1sh03]

Day 1

 

starting now which is cool. dont have much to report. just feeling quite sad right now

[Nappyloxs]

Start of Day 2.

 

Last night was kind of bad. This morning was kind of bad. I think of her in the morning and at night. During the day, I want to say I can control myself, except for Wednesday.

This morning I wrote her a message, (I think it like having to have a cup of coffee in the morning!!), but instead I wrote it on this site instead sending it to her. Some progress.

I am still using her going on a match-making event, as motivation to get my butt up and out. I refuse to let her go out and date and me sit her dwelling over her. Halloween is coming up and that will be a great time to go out and meet new women.

[OneBrightStar]

I'm new here. This is NC Day #4 for me. The break-up is a week old as of today.

 

Been trying to keep myself busy ... the day after it happened, I still went to get my oil changed and took my sister out shopping like I promised.

 

I've cried a lot since then ... cried last night and had to stay in my parents' room because I was so upset.

 

Reading posts here is inspiring.

 

I am still very hurt though.

[Mustachio]

Day 24.

 

Was a little sad today at times and found myself missing her a little bit. The urge to pick up the phone though and call her was not very strong which was good. I had a doctors appointment to get myself tested and was half preparing myself to have to make an unpleasant phone call to her. But luckily that didnt happen today so I had no reason to call and didnt.

 

That was all rather short lived and my days continue to have more good than bad.

[jenny2001]

I broke NC today. As usual I regret it like crazy and feel worse than ever. He told me today he was hanging out with someone new. Hearing that really stings. I wish I could have kept NC going because who knows if this will turn into something or not. But now I know he's with someone else and not thinking about me. At least with NC you can get through the day with hope, even if it is false hope. So for all of you wanting to break NC, are you prepared for what you might hear? I sure wasn't...

[Nappyloxs]

Day 2:

 

Wasn't too bad. I kept thinking of her though all day. Just came back from happy hour. Forced myself to go. The thing I hate is that we were together for 2.5 years. after a 1year we moved to a new city. Everyone I know is in relationships. She at least had single friends. So everytime I go out I think 1) I rather be doing anything with her and 2) I rather have her here and 3) why did we not do this when we were together. I really made the relationship very boring for her and I.

 

Tomorrow will force myself to get a haircut, work, then go to the clubs and at least hit on some women.

[stargirl1980]

Day 20.

 

Wow. I really can't believe I've made it this far.

[tujna]

Day 12

 

Going in for the long run. Shooting for at least 90 days or maybe forever!!

[HeavyD]

Day 16. Halfway there... Bodybuilding is my release these days.

[OneBrightStar]

Day #5 for me.

 

This is freaking hard. I miss him.

[Nappyloxs]

Broke NC today. I just spent the past few hours writing her a letter. I don't know why. Maybe because tomorrow is the 2 month anniversary of the breakup. Most of it was stuff I said before and some of it wasn't. This time I wrote everything and thought about everything. It was a 5 page letter. I am not upset that I broke NC again. But I think this will be the last time. I could not possibly say anything more. I really said every possible single thing in that letter. Now, its just time to move forward. I will leave it in God's hands.

 

Tomorrow will be the two-month mark and Day 1 of NC. No better day to start than a Sunday. Football will be on all day!!!!!

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Hello...

 

This is Day 1 for me and my first post here. I joined just to participate in this thread and have read about 150 pages of it so far since last night. Crazy, I know, i have been feeling kinda crazy the past couple of days.

 

My boyfriend broke up with me on Tues, Oct 20th, after 3.5 years basically telling me that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, "it's not you, it's me" kind of a deal. I don't think he is making the right decision. I spent the first 2 days calling him and texting him and begging for forgiveness but luckily last night i learned about no contact and found this forum.

 

i dont know what's going to happen. i want him back, but obviously things have to change first. He has been my best friend since the day i met him. We have a few mutual friends but i don't really have much of a support system. I feel like I am stuck because the person who I am used to going to for support is the one causing all the pain.

 

But anyways, i will probably spill my whole story eventually on these boards. Right now i just wanted to say that i am almost through Day 1. He already called me today and I ignored the phone call. Not even a minute later a mutual friend of ours texted me to tell me she was talking to him. i told her that i didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

 

Today was the first day that i didn't cry because of the breakup. I think it is because I am so determined to be a part of this challenge. We'll see what the next 30 days brings...

[stargirl1980]

Day 21.

 

I'm counting down the days, just to prove to myself I can do it. But I feel weird. I'm pretty much over the guy in question.

 

I'm actually more worried, because I'm kinda hung up on a new guy...maybe I should start a private NC for him too, since that seems to be going nowhere for me. I mean, I kinda like him- but I know he'll never have feelings for me.

[tujna]

Day 13.

 

Saturday night and I am alone at home. My heart is a wreck. I just want the end of this pain to come, forever!

[JonasWaingaro]

Hello...

 

This is Day 1 for me and my first post here. I joined just to participate in this thread and have read about 150 pages of it so far since last night. Crazy, I know, i have been feeling kinda crazy the past couple of days.

 

 

Welcome to Ena! That's not crazy at all, that's how I found/joined ena. I think many of came by here because of the challenge. I know exactly how it feels to have your support system be the one who brought you here. Not fun. Post away, vent away, everyone's here to listen/help.

[Mustachio]

Well, I just finished day 25. Ugh.

 

Been ding really good lately. Today, I moved into my friends house. A big step for me, and definitely one of the big things I had planned for myself to do as part of my plan to move on with my life for myself and solely for myself.

 

I found myself during most of the day missing my ex, found myself feeling a lot of feelings for her that I havent felt in a couple weeks now. I went from realizing how bad she is for me and how unhappy I was to today still just missing her and wanting to be with her. Luckily, I was moving today and had a lot to keep me busy all day.

 

I know there are ups and downs, but today was definitely a down day. Probably mostly brought on by the fact that I took a huge step in my life today, a step that means moving on, and moving my life farther from her life. And while that is a good thing, it is sad because just by taking this step it means letting go more and there is definitely a part of me that still doesnt want to let go.

[star111]

Day 2

 

replied to an email...of course. but was an attempt again at closure, my last words. i don't know why I just can't not respond. I am in a new mindset about him and nc moreso than I can say I have been since I joined this site. still thought about him today and tonight. but it's not so extreme. I'm really just eager to get on with my life, minus him or any glimmer of hope of having him in it. im starting to view him a bit more like my past ex's...the ones which I have zero love/lust feelings left for, and are definitely in my past to stay. hopefully the feeling sticks.

[Talus]

Close to 3 months

 

Just wanna say keep it up everyone. This is my first love I'm currently moving on from. I can't describe the pain I used to be in. The amount of tears I cried over that girl.

 

 

Things get better. Things pick up. Life still rolls on.

 

 

Overall I feel pretty great. I can really feel myself moving on and letting go. I still think about her everyday and occasionally dream about her. But it's different now, it doesn't crush me and I pretty much feel indifferent. I don't want her. I more or less just miss having someone, a girl I'm so close and comfortable with, but not her...

 

 

I'm getting over her. And as it's happening I'm feeling this massive weight being lifted off. It's a good feeling and it's something you all have to look forward to!!!

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Beginning of Day 2.

 

The crappy thing about not crying all day is that you don't wear yourself out. Instead I was up til 6 am thinking about what he did to me.

 

I finally got up and wrote a letter to a mutual friend, letting her know what happened between us. I don't really know the etiquette for talking to mutual friends. He has known her since HS (he's 24 now) and I've known her since I've been together with him (3.5 years)... so i questioned whether or not i should talk to her about this because she was his friend first, but she gives good advice and went through a hard breakup not too long ago... i didn't ask her to talk to him for me, didn't ask her to tell me what's going on with him or anything... just told her what happened and how i was feeling.

 

but like i said, i don't know the "rules" of talking to mutual friends. It's hard because i only have mutual friends with him. i dont have any of my own...

 

anyways... i finally fell asleep at 6:30.. woke up at 11:30 to send my friend a text telling her that i sent her an email... tried to fall back to sleep...didnt... and finally got up at 1:30. I ate some food at now it's 2:15 and I just want to go back to sleep.

 

It's kinda weird because i dont really have a desire to call him right now. i'm more anxious about hearing back from my friend. It's kinda freaking me out that she hasn't responded or called me back yet so i hope i made the right decision.

 

*sigh*