THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[star111]

day 4

i really wish my mind wasnt so active. im further this round, im not going to contact. but boy does my mind make up things i would message him with. i dont understand.....

[howinvoluntary]

I'm surprised by how much I wanted to email her today. It's not a feeling I've often had at all since the break. I think I just have come to some realizations. I do truly think that she doesn't know what she wants right now and is still open to the possibility of trying again. After all, she is randomly traveling in India. She is lost. But it wasn't my fault things didn't exactly go well when she called me two and a half weeks ago. She handled the call as if I was still waiting like I was shortly after we broke up... but I'm not. I'm glad I made it clear that I'm not a doormat.

 

I am pretty sure I will email her for her birthday a month from now. I told her I would, and then thought better of it, but now I have an idea of how I can handle the situation. I'm okay not addressing the past relationship. By that time, We'll have been apart for nearly four months, and I think I'll be ready for light contact.

[perio]

Light contact is my goal at the 2 month mark. I'll see how I feel but I'm sure I'll still hope to get back together in a healthy way at some point. It will fit in with holidays and her sisters condition. I really do care. I'll leave it short and judge her response and take it from there. I think I'll be emotionally ready at that time.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 17.

 

It's not the NC per se that's so painful. It's that my best friend up and left. I really, really miss her.

[BlackBirdy]

Day 5

 

Still in a daze, a little bit. Thinking about places we went together, things we did.. make me feel like I still can't accept it all, its waaay too... unbelieveable, incomprehensible.

 

But on a positive note, I'm gonna have an awesome weekend!

[iwantmeback]

Day 3.

 

I think im getting better. But then again I've had months to prep for this so hopefully I have so head start on this. Its a good thing I sent you that email else I know id be tempted to contact you and then spend the whole day with bated breath waiting for your gracious response.

It's better this way really. Hopefully we will both be better and richer friends after this. I didnt and dont want us to never talk again, but I needed the space to get over my feelings for you so I can be as good a friend as I was to you before. At the rate I was going, I would have given you a disgust of my neediness. Yes, we were friends, but now I had developed these feelings for you that you didnt reciprocate would ultimately have broken up the friendship.

 

Let me get back to how I was, and we can, I really hope, be friends again. I didnt put it all in the email, but I hope you understand this is what I meant.

 

Take care and I miss you.

[Starrgrl]

feeling great! His calls which I didn't pick up was just what i needed to let go. Strange. DAY 85 ( realised i'd forgot about a day)

[perio]

You have been on a long road Starrgrl. I looked at your previous posts. Its interesting to see the changes.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 18.

 

Well, the days are passing. Last night I had the first desire to contact her. I wanted to say "I'm growing and changing and want you to be part of it." I squashed that desire quickly when I reminded myself of the negative reaction I would have received. It's quite a lonely time in my life right now.

[iwantmeback]

Day 5.

 

I lied. I thought it was getting better but its not. Even though I was the one who asked for space/no contact, I am hoping you will ignore me and contact me. stupid me. I know I am doing the right thing because I need to purge these feelings, but I miss you so much. I feel like crying everyday. I hope four weeks from now these feelings will have abated because I don't want to continue like this.

I wish I'd never gone on that trip with you, I want our relationship back! I want my best friend back

[Ariel85]

This is day 11 for me. The days get harder, rather than easier. I dunno. Maybe it's because I still thought he would contact me last week. When we first broke up, we went NC for 8 days, and then he contacted me. So, 11 days feels like an eternity.

 

I hate not knowing what he's thinking and feeling about me. I miss him terribly. He was the bright spot of my days.

 

Then I think we both need more time apart to see if we really DO want to try again.

 

Chick time vs. guy time is such a different calculation.

 

I regret so many things that happened at the end between us. So much game playing, back and forth BS. Our last contact was me texting me and asking to meet so we could clear things up before we marched on to whatever was supposed to be next. Haven't heard from him since.

 

Part of me kind of wants him to go out and date/screw others, as I feel it will only make him miss me more. Then the other part just wants him back in my arms, laughing with me, smiling at me, making love to me...

 

Whomever said it gets easier each day was full of * * * * . It's gotten harder, and this week was far worse than last.

 

I find myself starting to think of excuses to contact him, but I WON'T. The ball is in his court, and he needs to do some work.

 

I still miss him desperately, and I wish I knew if he felt the same and at all thinks about ever getting back together.

[Starrgrl]

Day 86

 

Alittle sad at the moment. It will pass though. Felt good last night. Miss him but it's not that insistent thing that plagues my mind anymore. It's more a passing thought.

 

I hope he's well. He doesn't really take care of his body or sleep properly, so I just hope he's looking after himself.

Lol I still care for him so deeply.

[BlackBirdy]

Day 7

 

Wow. a whole week. Well, I made it! A few tears and two dreams about Mr Nice Guy. I've been through this process so many times in the last year, it kinda feels easy. But unlike with the last 3 guys, the last of which I moved on from in record time, Mr Nice Guy was someone I really... really cared for. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't still think of being back together with him.

 

But I am also able to see myself being friends with him. After all, there are a lot of things about him that perhaps aren't right for me. He's a bit shorter than me, for one! heheh.

 

Sigh. I do miss you still, Mr Nice Guy. But less and less with each passing day.

[Capthxc]

Day 10(or is it 11, since our last contact that is, not BU)

 

Im so angry right now. I want to let this anger loose. I want her to know how much she has hurt me and what sort of damage she has done to my psyche. I want her to hurt as bad as i am right now. And thats abnormal for me. For the past 2 weeks or so i didnt care what she did. I didnt even think about her too much. But tonight i went out to the bar with my brother, sprained my ankle, and noticed that she's still up to the same things she was doing that led up to the break up and it makes me absolutely furious. I've never felt this angry before, i've never felt the need to punch something to get this kind of stress off my shoulders. Everything is irritating me right now, and a big part of me knows that if i end up sending her the angry e-mail or message, that it wont be recived very well, and everything i've done over the past month or so will be in vain. Talk about a game of tug of war with myself, this is almost too much.

[miss bear]

Day 18:

 

Just really sad today. I miss him.

His birthday is tomorrow. I don't get to spend it with him.

I am not going to contact him. I can't. I can't be the one to contact first, he did this if he wants to talk to me he will need to be the one to make the first move.

I am sure he won't.

I guess the other reason I am missing him so much is because I had a biopsy done yesterday, "just to rule things out" my doctor says.

 

I got home last night and my body was hurting and cramping. I never told him I was having certain health issues. But now I have a week of waiting for lab results and I got a little bit scared. I am sure it's fine. but all I wanted was to go to his house, climb into bed with him and just have him hold me.

I miss how when he would hold me I felt how much he cared.

this blows.

[Rotxsen]

And after a year of NC I broke it.

 

It was time to fight my fears, finally let everything go now we are friends but for how long?

[star111]

day 1

im super depressed....cant get out of bed. starting to realize i dont think its not having him around that makes me sad, im just naturally not happy with where things are at in my life. and i guess im lonely, im scared to death to meet anyone new. and go through all the crap with someone new. what if nobody has the rare traits my ex had. he had a lot of bad too though. im afraid to move forward. i feel stuck

[Ariel85]

Day 12.

 

I read on here where someone said that after day 15 it gets a lot easier.

 

I dreamt of him last night. Not unusual. In it, he was texting me, though my phone wasn't ringing. Even in my dream it was telepathic. He was telling me he's gone out on a few dates and is trying to move on, but he hasn't gotten too far, and no one is like me. Then there was something in his phone about him watching a lot of porn (lol).

 

I know the dream was me projecting what I think he's doing. Trying to convince himself it's best to move on and find someone with less drama like we had, but then he goes out with these girls, and he's bored silly. Or not turned on. And then I picture him watching his vast porn collection as a substitute. lol

 

I dunno. I suppose he could be dating/screwing, etc.

 

On the way home today, I heard the song with the lyrics, "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time."

 

I just wish I knew.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 19.

 

Exhausted. Long day.

[miss bear]

Day 19:

 

It was his birthday today. I had to stop myself several times from texting him Happy Birthday. Why should I since I don't really want him to have a happy one.

 

I remember his birthday last year, he had a party and there were so many people there and he introduced me to people that I thought I would be meeting again....but I never saw or heard about them again.

 

Went to see Hal Sparks tonight I laughed so hard I thought I would pee myself. It was nice to laugh, I miss laughing. I still laugh sometimes and around my friends I sometimes make jokes about the break-up. I used to laugh all the time, now it's a bit less.

 

So many memories keep popping up in my mind, and most are not good things. Most are just instances when I should have listened to my gut and stopped seeing him so seriously..................................................................

 

Poker night when he got drunk and after everyone left he accused me of not paying attention to him, I remember I was at his place and I was walking out of his bedroom and he said "you're going to leave like you always do". Weird because I never left him at any time before and I didn't leave then either. He remembered nothing of this the next day.

 

I feel sick to my stomach.

[BlackBirdy]

Back to the beginning: Day 0.

 

It was my birthday today and the ex texted me to wish me happy birthday. It was a very nice, friendly text. I replied with a "thanks!" but it has set me back in the NC challenge as well as the healing process.

 

started thinking about how to get him back again, where yesterday I was all "it's his loss!" and "there's plenty more fish in the sea!"

 

UGH.

[BeijingPolice9]

Day 16 of N C. Day 34 since break up.

 

Feeling quite good really. Have been doing things I enjoy and have a new job. Didn't realise until now that's it's been a full month since B U, and am hoping that's a good sign!

 

What do people plan on doing after 30 days is up?

[collegegirl21]

day 2 of NC!

 

gonna try to keep myself busy! still miss him a little but know i'll never go back so its best to just move on.. idk if he's gonna call or text me anytime soon.. will make it easier if he does not!

[Starrgrl]

day 88 Haha hittin 3 months soon!! Im onto bigger and better things now. And i ain't taking any bs anymore. The shackles r off, i am free now. Soon, i will be completely over it. In time.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 20.

 

I've grown so much personally that now I feel it is my ex who has suffered more loss than me. I'm feeling increasingly better, and am becoming a person I'm proud of.

It would (will?) be weird if she contacts me, I'm not the broken mess I was four months ago, and I'm not interested in being stagnated with her or anyone else. For her sake, I hope she's putting in the same effort to become the best individual she can be. I'm not waiting around. I'll bust through my down days and ride my up days, and the overall trend is that I've regained control of my life.