THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[HeavyD]

Back to day 1. Sorry to keep littering this thread, but geez it just gets better and better. So after our last text conversation, I thought that was it. I wouldn't have to hear from her for a while. Wrong.

 

Maybe 5-6 hours later at about 3am, she texted me again saying "and fyi, I didn't want to see you because of how much sh!t you put me through, and how many months I wasted. Nothing to do with _____ whatsoever..."

 

At this point I'm starting to find the whole thing kind of amusing. It's ridiculous how disgusted and infuriated she seems... Yet for the life of her she cannot leave me alone. If I really was such scum to her, she wouldn't waste her time continuing to contact me.

 

I'm starting to think there is some attention void that's not getting filled, and she then turns to me to see if I can. Well sorry kid, not any longer.

 

Have any of you ever had this problem? An ex who seems to absolutely DESPISE you, but just can't leave you alone? I went NC from day 1, and she has since contacted me on 4 separate occasions.

[iduncare]

Morning usually feel the worst... waking up and not finding any messages from him. Wondering if he is going to contact me today, wondering if he has met someone else..

[jonboi]

25 weeks of her gone

 

20 weeks of NC

 

True love/care, they would always be here. In the end, if there not, they never truly loved/cared. No excuses needed. I did the best I could

[stargirl1980]

Day 4

 

Doing good. Had school today, so that kept me distracted.

[star111]

day 5

 

yippee. don't care one way or another. I'm beginning to realize I need my life in order...and have been stressed about not being where I should be. reaching success....and a better stage in my life than when he was helping me. now i'm alone....and I'm struggling. I finished school, I have a career....but I need to be further. and if I was, I would probably be contacting him. but now I'm doing the NC because I'm not in that better place in life. I would at least want to throw it in his face. ha...

errr....going away for the weekend. should take my mind off things. i hope. it is a wedding though...but with good friends. just rambling, to look back and reflect on what I am feeling.

Never responded to his email...tempted. but won't change anything. I want to at least be in a different place in my life....before seeing him. even if to just see him once. then by that time I probably won't have any interest in him.

[Anonymous3]

Morning usually feel the worst... waking up and not finding any messages from him. Wondering if he is going to contact me today, wondering if he has met someone else..

 

Ditto, mornings blow. Made the mistake of having a few drinks last night, that seems to make it worse.

 

3rd day since I sent an email basically leaving the door open for now, putting the ball in her court, telling her exactly how I feel. Specified that she didn't have to respond now, she knows how to get in touch with me if she hasn't figured * * * * out yet.

 

Even with that, I find myself waiting for the email...watching her go on with life is cruel and unusual punishment, even if it has been an entire month since we split. I'm definitely going to have trust issues for a while now.

 

I just wish, at this point, her mom would stop initiating contact to see how I'm doing..I love her mom to death, and it's nice to be able to talk to her...it's obvious she'd like to see us end up together, but it really hurts speaking to her. I always end up trying to find out how she's doing, and that feels dirty and wrong, even though I'm only answering her.

 

I can totally relate to the sing in The Wedding Singer now, where he blows up and sings Love Stinks....because it really * * * * ing does.

 

In the words of Elton, "This boy's too young to be singing the blues..."

[Mustachio]

Day 9

 

Officially the longest I have now pretty much ever gone without speaking to her or hearing anything from her. (obviously except for before we were together).

 

I didnt officially tell her not to contact me, well I did once, then I called her when she semi got in touch with me and ended up telling her if she wanted to be friends to contact me and prove it to me that she is sincere.

 

She is with her other guy now, and Im sure she is with him almost all the time (he moved in the day after we broke up, which I think is crazy and stupid, anyone agree?) but basically since he is always there she has no time to reflect or think. I know their honeymoon phase wont last forever and I know she will call me at some point relatively soon... of course chances are it will still just be the call to see how I was doing, bla bla bla.

 

I find myself almost wanting to call her since the last few times we spoke I was very emotional, and I want to talk to her for two reasons. First, just to let her know that I am done going over it, and to just be calm and cool and go from there and see if we can maybe be friends and Second because I want to tell her officially that I dont want her in my life because I cant be friends with her while she is with this other guy. I just want to show her that my emotions are no longer controlling who I am and show her that I am moving on and that I am better than she treated me and I am more confident now.

[iamnot]

NC went to * * * * because SHE KEEPS CONTACTING ME. I've told her I can't do the friends thing, but she keeps being amazingly sweet when she contacts me, and she has every day since last Friday.

 

It's apparant that she's happy being friends, but I'm not. I just don't think I have the heart to ignore her.

 

I'm gonna have to ignore her...

[scu22h]

He broke it off 2 weeks ago. (engaged first time broke it off in June and now broke off again sept.) While broken up we still talked and saw him twice, I am at last understanding I need to do NC for myself. He texted me a few times yesterday...I didn't contact him back at all. Day 2...this is so hard

[sarge1991]

Day 5

 

Longest ive gone NC its hard, i'm moving into an apartment tomorrow i don't know if she will contact me or not it will be hard not to answer if she does.

[stargirl1980]

Day 5

 

Not such a great day. But I pulled through.

 

I keep waffling back and forth on how I feel- between "he was a comple * * * * * * * , and I should be glad he's gone" to "I really did care about him, and I thought he really did like me too."

 

Sometimes I never want to see him again. Other times, I really want him to call in a month, and say he missed me, and has some really good reason for why he treated me the way he did. I know we both did alot of stuff wrong...And when I feel that way, I start crying just alittle. Sucks.

[HeavyD]

Ditto, mornings blow. Made the mistake of having a few drinks last night, that seems to make it worse.

That's one thing I've learned the hard way. Until I'm completely over this, I can't have more than a drink or two. Not to mention I'm on AD meds so it makes it easier to step away.

 

Even with that, I find myself waiting for the email...watching her go on with life is cruel and unusual punishment, even if it has been an entire month since we split. I'm definitely going to have trust issues for a while now.

I did the same things. Sent a message, KNOWING there wouldn't be a response. But I found myself waiting for one that entire week. Try to avoid the mother as well. If she contacts you, ignore it. You know she is probably talking to her daughter. And if so, she knows that she still has you on her leash. So she will go that much longer without talking, and have no problem because she knows you are still there.

[HeavyD]

double post

[HeavyD]

Ditto, mornings blow. Made the mistake of having a few drinks last night, that seems to make it worse.

That's one thing I've learned the hard way. Until I'm completely over this, I can't have more than a drink or two. Not to mention I'm on AD meds so it makes it easier to step away.

 

Even with that, I find myself waiting for the email...watching her go on with life is cruel and unusual punishment, even if it has been an entire month since we split. I'm definitely going to have trust issues for a while now.

I did the same things. Sent a message, KNOWING there wouldn't be a response. But I found myself waiting for one that entire week. Try to avoid the mother as well. If she contacts you, ignore it. You know she is probably talking to her daughter. And if so, she knows that she still has you on her leash. So she will go that much longer without talking, and have no problem because she knows you are still there.

[Anonymous3]

I'm going to have to cut her off...as much as it hurts, because she was a big part of my life too (I might as well have dated her entire family, tried to keep her close to them after her father passed) I know the conversations aren't just innocent. I keep them that way, because I feel dirty talking to her....even though I have never once been the one to initiate the chat. She swore she would never say anything about us talking, and I believed her...not that there is anything sensitive in the conversations, she just happened to be the only one I had to talk to after the breakup.

 

Anyways...I really would be let down if she knew I was talking to her mother, but not totally surprised.

 

Day 3 since I left the ball in her court.

[sarge1991]

Day 6

 

Almost a week. Moving into my apartment today so pretty excited.

[Theblueman123]

Day 26

 

Learned a lot, lived a lot, and now I'm a better person thanks to her dumping me. I guess that I'm finally realizing my true capability, and I won't settle for less than 100%. Only 4 days until victory.

[HeavyD]

What's in 4 days?

 

Anyways...I really would be let down if she knew I was talking to her mother, but not totally surprised.

Hate to say it... But I can almost guarantee she is. I mean, it's her child you're talking about. I thought the same thing - her mom respected me and wouldn't say anything if I asked her not too.

 

Then come to find out when I did talk to "her", she said "I heard you came by to apologize and drop off a gift?"... Yea, thanks mom...

[Anonymous3]

Yeah...oh well, no mas. I've been trying to find a nice way to ask her to stop, unless she really needs something...because it hurts like hell. She keeps saying things like "hang in there" and "there's light at the end of the tunnel..." and encouraging me to send a heartfelt email...

 

So she's either ignorant, as she claims and doesn't know what my ex is thinking, or she knows that this really is just temporary or something...I dont know, the more I think about it the more I'll confuse myself. I think she's wise enough to realize that I'm one of the good ones, and doesn't want me to go...but I guess it isn't her call.

 

And I think he meant 4 days till it's been a month, that seems to be the goal for NC.

 

I'm going on a casual date tomorrow night, and actually looking forward to it.

[stargirl1980]

Day 6

 

Was kind of sad today. I had a nightmare, and woke up missing him.

[stargirl1980]

Day 7.

 

Tough going today. Went to a family party- a friend of the family was there, with her new baby. After holding her for alittle bit, I went outside alone and cried.

 

I've been having a bit of a "quarter-life" crisis anyway, and getting dumped was just one more blow. I keep having this fear that I'll never find anyone I love, who loves me too- that I'll never get married, never have children, etc.

 

I miss him so much- he was so great when we first started dating, and sometimes I think I'd do anything to get that guy back.

[coolchick64]

Day 2

 

Okay, I'm back. I know I really suck at NC, but I'm going to give it my best shot this time. I've come to realize that I'm too anxious to manage LC with him. It's going nowhere and it's just stressing me out. Please, God, let me stick to this for once!

[Singler]

9 days NC!!! getting better each day, but mornings suck!

[vivia12]

Hello everyone

 

I truly need an NC buddy if anyones up for it,and i'll gladly return the favorbecause i feel like contacting him which i know is truly uneventful and self-disrespecting. I'll Pm those who'll PM me back,i feel people here understand how it feels,i cant get that support outside Ena!

[stargirl1980]

Day 8

 

Did alot of crying today.