JonasWaingaro Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Day13 - Yep, must be in the air. Last 2 days have been a HUGE set-up. Felt awful, can't get motivated to do much more then mope. The 'what if's' became 'WHAT IF'S' again. Booo. /sigh Link to comment
kerri_nicole Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Day 2 AGAIN Why is it that we crave something that is bad for us or treats us so badly.. Humans are a funny thing.. Link to comment
bronte Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Day13 - The 'what if's' became 'WHAT IF'S' again. Booo. /sigh Exactly, all of a sudden I can't stop thinking, "Oh, we didn't try everything we could have tried!" and am wanting to e-mail him to suggest we meet up once he's back in town to talk things over. It's craziness, and I know it's craziness, and yet the urge is SO strong! What if, what if... Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Exactly, all of a sudden I can't stop thinking, "Oh, we didn't try everything we could have tried!" and am wanting to e-mail him to suggest we meet up once he's back in town to talk things over. It's craziness, and I know it's craziness, and yet the urge is SO strong! What if, what if... !! Yep, that's my state of mind! So damned pointless, yet.... Oh, I forgot to add before, grats on the new job and place!!! That is so awesome for you. It's gotta be very exciting, even now! Link to comment
BlueRizla Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Day 2..for 4th time lol. What the hell. Link to comment
bronte Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 !! Yep, that's my state of mind! So damned pointless, yet.... Oh, I forgot to add before, grats on the new job and place!!! That is so awesome for you. It's gotta be very exciting, even now! Thanks, Jonas! It is very exciting, even if the excitement is unexpectedly making me even more desperate to contact my ex. Trying to remember that I don't want to have to redo the last 10 days of NC just for the small thrill that talking to him would be... Link to comment
dimnickel1980 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 unfortunately i still feel like crap. today should be celebratory bc i've hit 30 days. i'm beginning to see more negative traits in him. but, in the end, HE dumped ME. and i still miss him. I've seen that he is reconciling with everyone from his past he had disputes with. basically... his enemies have become friends and his best friend has become an enemy. i'm tired of feeling so bad when he is the one that lost much more than i did... i'm tired of ppl telling me he'll be back. i'm tired of caring about him when he doesn't care about me. yay for day 30? Link to comment
bronte Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 skveerkamp, yes, yay for Day 30! I'm sorry you're not feeling more celebratory, I know it's a milestone that's bittersweet--but if you're starting to see more of his negative characteristics, NC is doing what it's supposed to do for you. It just works verrrrry slowly. (And I can sympathize about people telling you he'll be back, my ex has a history of leaving and coming back, so when people see that I'm very sad they think they're comforting me by saying he'll likely be back again and feeling conciliatory before too long. But it is NOT helpful!) Speaking of my ex, he commented on my Facebook status tonight. Just a short teasing comment referring to a long-running joke of ours. I might make a short comment back even though it would technically be a breach of NC, because I didn't find his comment to be emotionally upsetting and I'm 100% positive my reply would be the end of it, it wouldn't be the start of a long conversation. Thinking it over, though, and I'll decide tomorrow before I leave for work. Link to comment
needafriend Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Day 3 -- Bad start to the day. Woke up and cried for 30 mins. Typical morning blues. It was so hard to drag myself out of bed and go to work. Busy weekend planned. Hopefully it will keep my mind off him... An old fling that I was infatuated with called last night to ask me out for dinner. Usually I would feel extremely happy about this. Instead... I feel.... Numb. Why am I still waiting to hear from him?? Stupid woman ](*,) Link to comment
huckleberry28 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 dear x, Just saying hi. hope you're doing well and enjoying the summer. I've been thinking about you this week, cause it would have been our anniversary. Not to worry- I accept what has happened with us and know it's for the best, that we're not meant for each other. I do miss you, though! lots of good times and happy memories. thanks for all that. take care, me Link to comment
Mr Brightside Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Hi, I've been split up with the ex for about 2.5 weeks now, tried NC, the longest i've managed is 4 days, well, had a result this morning, she called me to say she missed me, had thought things through, and wants to meet to dicuss things. we've broken up many times before over the amount we argue, so all the words i've been telling her about giving one last go had all been heard before. meeting tomorrow to talk, both gotta be 110% prepared to make it work, take it slowly and set some firm foundations to build on. Fingers crossed, but giving a bit of time has worked, i've been through hell, hope it works out! so, it does happen to some people then! Link to comment
kerri_nicole Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 At what point do u call it a day where kids are concerned. He is not bothering with them does not know his baby son at all, I am just so sick of my kids being hurt now. As a mother I jsut want to do anything to protect them and I am really wondering if cutting him out is for the best he is just setting our 9 year old up for a big fall again! Is it right to feel this angry??? Link to comment
Soul Bear Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 day 70 something woohooo 3 attempts to contact me and i ignored them all Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I had this weird dream last night where my ex had this new girlfriend (not the one he is with currently) and he was introducing her to me. He was messing with my hair and touching my shoulder, joking around with me. I looked a bit disinterested, or maybe a bit jealous, not sure. I talked to someone last night about my ex. Man, everything he said was so right about my ex. Turns out my ex was acting like he doesn't care about me just so he won't be seen as "weak" by other people. He did act out good but I have seen some weak moments from him. But whatever. Life goes on and I'm keeping NC. Link to comment
lostandunhappy Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Day 10 Had a awful day today, know its her sisters 30th birthday and they have a special night planned. Making me feel depressed, I'd love to be there with them celebrating. Still she has chosen someone else over me what can I do but accept it and move on. Its easier said than done thou when its someone you love. Roll on day 120. Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 17 days since I've seen my ex. 9 days since he contacted me through facebook. I have to admit that I while I changed my settings so that I can't see his updates in my livefeed, I still visit his page and his myspace. He hasn't updated in a while and it hardly ever gives me any information. The mornings are the worst. I've been having anxiety attacks. It's like I wake up and realize that this is REALLY happening. I've been going out with friends and trying to keep myself busy. I've been having a pretty good time actually, but it's really weird because although we are broken up I still feel like we are connected. Like there is this thread that is reaching from me to him. I guess when you've been involved with someone for nearly 7 years and grew up together that is to be expected. I don't have as many urges to contact him as I thought I would. Almost did on Day 5 in a moment of desperation. He and I have been off/on and while I hate it when we break up, I would never go back in time and change it because I have always learned so much about myself during those times. Right now I am surprised yet proud of myself because I feel strong and empowered. I know that if there is any hope of reconciliation that it will have to be on his end. There is nothing more that I can do than give him his space and let him see what it's like to really live without me. Here is a link to my thread. It's long, but everyone on this site is so full of advice and I'd greatly appreciate any that I can get. If you get to the end I'll give you a cookie! Link to comment
bronte Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Day 11 Doing okay today, though something happened at work that I would love to tell him about. I guess I can just imagine his reaction and try to be satisfied with that. (Or is having imaginary conversations with your ex a sign of impending insanity?) It's weird, I was SO close last night to contacting him to ask if he's still feeling uncertain about whether breaking up was the right thing to do, but when he commented on my Facebook status that urge disappeared. (Well, lessened.) Maybe I just wanted to know that he still remembers my existence... Link to comment
quirky Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Day 17 Met someone that might be able to help me with my music and it just hit me, the distance between us. I somehow thought we'd make our dreams come true together. Tough to see how close we were in our house and now he's there, I'm here, far away.. Then I also thought of how I used to dumb myself down so he doesn't feel emasculated and I'm really glad I'm out of it.. Link to comment
dimnickel1980 Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 i've realized how much of a coward he is. he never seemed to be afraid of anything... zombies, clowns, whatever. but, he never stood up to his parents for me. and this break up shows how cowardly he was towards me. he'd rather lead me on for months then tell me about his doubts. he'd rather tell me he doesn't know if he loves me and we may/may not get back together through TEXTS rather than have the balls to say... my feelings have changed and i don't want you anymore. it's the courage to be honest he doesn't have... and that's a huge turn off. what a loser. Link to comment
SnowFox Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 skveerkamp- I am having some similar realizations about my ex. Basically, due to his financial and career problems, after a big crisis involving one of his kids, he decided he had to end our LDR because he just couldn't handle it anymore. (And I do believe he is being honest about this as his reason - I have no reason to suspect GIGS, cheating, etc). But, I've realized that basically during the past few months of our relationship, he wasn't being honest with me and he wasn't being honest with himself. He was flying up to see me, taking me out on vacations, always out to nice dinners, buying me gifts, etc....just a couple of months before he broke up with me. So during that time when he was struggling financially, he never once told me that was happening, and he also never told me that the long distance was getting hard for him. He just kept all that to himself. He never gave me a chance to even KNOW he had those problems - and then, on top of that, he never gave me a chance to have any input into either of them (such as suggest that I would fly to see him instead of him coming here, not going out to eat as much, I could move to his cityetc). So that is a strike against him now to realize that the reason we aren't together is because he tried to keep all his problems to himself and just waited until a big crisis to do something about it.... we could have made plans to work around both of those problems if only he would have bothered to do that. He does have ADHD, and I think this might be an example where he just made an impulsive decision and is probably realizing it wasn't the best decision to break off with me . but it makes me mad to think the whole break up could have been completely avoidable if he had only not acted out emotionally about the stress he was feeling. Link to comment
kerri_nicole Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Day 2 Mornings are the worst where you have time to think and have dreamt of them not in a good way but you way up feeling pretty awful... Anyway here is to staying strong. I dont have the urge to contact him I am just sad. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Day 3. Starting NC after LC during a death in his family. I wanted to be supportive but now it's time for me to step away again. Link to comment
Mellie Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Day 1 really, even after being broken up for 2 months. We don't work together as of yesterday so I'm getting my head around the fact that I've no reason to ever see him again, and I shouldn't want to anymore either. I won't be contacting him. I don't want to know about his new life, or how he's doing great without me. Just got to make sure I start doing great without him. No one's worth all of this - if they were, they wouldn't put you through all of this. Link to comment
bronte Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Day 12 Still feeling really tempted to contact him with trivial stuff, the equivalent of poking him, I guess--"Are you there? Still remember me?" Trying to remember that that would be more annoying than welcome, I'm sure. We can't really talk about anything serious till he's back in town, and he may not want to even then. Hanging out with a friend tonight who hasn't heard about any of my break-up woes yet. Hoping not to succumb to break-up verbal diarrhea in which I suddenly share all my innermost feelings with people who don't really need to hear it, lol. I just want a fun evening that takes my mind off of it all... Link to comment
wish_on_a_star Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 End of Day 26...how do I feel? Completely lost. I still have those exact same feelings for him and the last few days, I keep breaking down and crying. Everytime I walk down the road from work to my house, I remember how we used to walk on that same path, and now, our lives have taken two separate paths.It hurts so much, yet I have kept NC..and to make things worse, I have got the worst flu ever Link to comment
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