THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[openbook4]

Day 2. Kind of mad it would be day 15 by now if i had not broke it twice already. ugh. It's so hard not to drive by her friends house or either of her 2 jobs to see if she's there or not. I know it's a good thing not to do that though, because if she isn't at either of those places, she's doing who knows what, which will make me even more crazy. Stay strong.

[SnowFox]

There is a book I recommend to people who are in a lot of pain from their break-up - its called The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. There is a separate work book as well. I used these 3 years ago when I was going through the end of a relationship I thought was headed toward marriage. It was very helpful.

[fruitapus09]

Day 35

 

Tennessee- I know it's a bad idea to keep going to the event, but it is a great place to meet guys, and he can't possibly go every single week! It's a bit tricky because the friend I go with has known him for like 20 years, so she will talk to him at some point. Last time I passed them by for the bathroom like I didn't see them but that might not always work. I think it would be good for me to say hi one of these times, if the girl isn't around of course.

 

Still feeling a bit rough. Trying to feel the rejection instead of suppressing it with excuses and what-ifs. I think that's the only way to feel negative enough to stop liking him. Otherwise I keep blaming myself that it didn't work out, I should have tried one more time before he met this girl, he probably thinks I'm crazy, etc.

 

I guess I learned a lot of lessons for the next guy I meet and like, but I'm not quite ready for the next guy (still a bit emotional about my 6yr ex I broke up with in April - not in love anymore but still need to heal from those lessons learned too). But I feel like I need to meet someone else to get this guy out of my head.

 

Thinking that the advice on ENA is to date other people and your ex will want you more. I think that it could be working in reverse for me! He certainly is more attractive out having fun and smiling than he was moping in his house watching TV in the dark.

[bronte]

Day 3...It's ended up being WAY too hot to move furniture and stuff, so I'm trying to stay busy with other moving-related tasks. Really wanting to talk to him about how the move's going, but fortunately he's taking a fun trip with friends this weekend--Knowing that keeps me from contacting him, since he s obviously not going to think that's a good time to chat! "Oh, excuse me, guys, ex-girlfriend on the phone..." No.

 

He'll be back in my town in about a week, though. Yikes!

[openbook4]

Day 3. I went to the mall today to buy a new cd. Saw her car parked in the parking lot, as she works in the mall. Never saw her inside, never looked. =) ahh... hope i can keep strong.

[looking4ward]

Day 10- doing ok.

[lostandunhappy]

Im not sure what day it is (20ish I think), and to be honest I dont really care. She had her opportunity to have me in her life and she chose not to, which ultimately is her loss.....

[quirky]

day 28

 

Today, actually 30 min ago, I deleted him from facebook. I had already deleted him from skype, his texts, emails and pictures from us on facebook. But just seeing him add new friends, getting complimentary comments when I'VE SEEN THE TRUTH was just not helping me. His new friends may never find out what I know but I just cannot remotely care anymore, not even for ego revenge.

 

I was keeping him so that I could post a link when I'd finish my latest song and he'd think I'm so creative, or when I'd put pictures up from my holidays and he'd think I'm gorgeous blah blah blah. It's done, I cut the last cord and I feel good.

[lostandunhappy]

Day 21. (Left me 3 months ago for someone else)

 

Have met someone that I clicked with almost immediately. Funny how you think these things will never happen to you again and then when you least expect it BAM! it hits you right between the eyes. I have thought about my ex less today than any other thanks to this new girl. Onwards and Upwards.

[Soul Bear]

Day 21. (Left me 3 months ago for someone else)

 

Have met someone that I clicked with almost immediately. Funny how you think these things will never happen to you again and then when you least expect it BAM! it hits you right between the eyes. I have thought about my ex less today than any other thanks to this new girl. Onwards and Upwards.

 

Excellent Im happy for you.

I look fwd to that day myself

[bexcelant]

Three months and ready to move on? Or wait for reconciliation?

[BriarRose]

Day 15. I don't feel much better. I guess I thought he would miss me by now. Eh, probably has a new gf, some people move on so quickly to the next person.

[dimnickel1980]

wow.. almost fifty days.. seems like a lot. the days go by faster. today has been the first day in awhile where i felt normal, like myself, and didn't hurt.

 

it makes me angry to think my ex has probably felt this way almost the entirety of these 43 days. i want justice dang it! it's not right that he is prob happy with this other girl. ugh. while i've been working so hard to mend my broken heart.

 

i think i also feel better because i have been stuck at home with nothing to do.. and now college is a mere 8 days away. wow. i thought i would never make it through this summer.

 

i am VERY proud of myself though. i've felt the darkness closing in... pulling me in a hole... and then i felt myself fight it! i've seen the strongest part of me pull me to the light. I never knew how emotionally strong i was... i didn't let the depression keep me down (despite the first two weeks.. but that's inevitable).

 

i had a relapse about a week ago (when i found out about the other girl and his lies) and i remember thinking to myself while i was sitting on the floor and crying...

 

"get up skveerkamp," and i did. i will continue to be stronger. good luck everyone!

[brokenheart311]

41 days of NC and 108 days since the breakup!!! I had to go back and count it up and had to look up an old post to figure out last contact was on June30th. I still think about her everyday and dream about her several times a week.

 

In fact I dreamt about her last night, she had come over to my house and we had sex, afterward i told her I loved her and she said the same. I asked if she wanted to get back together and she said "I love you so much, but I don't know if I'm ready yet", in my dream I accepted that as I acept it in real life too.

 

Good things:

I don't dwell on the thoughts as her quite as often. The come a lot, but now only 80% of the day instead of 95%.

 

The thoughts of what we lost still make me sad, but it wears off in minutes instead of days.

 

School starts Monday and by this time next year I'll be lined up to make more money than I dreamed possible a year ago.

 

I've been chatting up a girl the last two days on link removed and if things progress as they have I'll be asking her out on a first date soon.

 

Bad things:

Still miss my ex

 

Still miss her son

 

Haven't been to church in 8 weeks and don't plan on going back for four more. (If I feel i can be in the same room as ex without taking focus off of worshiping God)

 

Still dream about getting back together with ex and hope it doesn't ruin something else good that might come my way.

 

Skveerkamp, you are doing awesome keep it up!

[quirky]

Today I got a message from my ex. I ignored it. Then he rang me. I ignored it. Then he rang again. He rang 5 times and sent 2 texts and then I picked it up. I feel awfull. Hearing him cry.. Initially I was strong but then I got upset as well. It was an honest conversation. I'm really sad at our situation, it's one of these reason over passion break ups, I can see he's struggling like I am. But he'll never be responsible enough and I don't wanna be superwoman.

 

He says he want us to keep LC and I said there's no way we'll break that bond this way. He wants me to add him on facebook again just so he knows even a bit how I'm doing. He said he's been reading up on things and try to move on but any progress he makes he only wants to share it with me. I have been soo upset today..I gotta pretend it never happened, like I dreamed it. And keep going ..

[looking4ward]

Day 13, some LC (initiated by him) aprox 3 brief email exchanges but I don't feel set back by them so doing ok. Why do I even care about this jerk? Argh!

[BriarRose]

Day 17 and he made 2 attempts at contact (none recent). If he really cared, he would have tried harder, I think ...

 

But it's okay....it shows that it really is over...

[melissag87]

Day 7 of NC/ May 18th was the break up:

I just got back from vacation and that def helped me to not contact him. I hope i can be strong now that i'm back. I still miss him very much. When I got to the all inclusive resort the first day of vacation, I happened to run into a couple of friends who were staying at the same resort. It was their last night of vacation so we went to the pool and drank by the "swim up bar"....I got completely drunk (to the point where i don't remember much of the night). My sister said I started crying about my ex at 6 pm and I didn't stop until 11 pm!!!!!! She said that I was saying things like "I was never good enough" and "I wish I was blonde with freckles" (because those are the type of girls my ex was really attracted to) I feel so embarassed! I just wish i had him back

[needafriend]

Day 17.

 

No attempts at contact from him.

 

Shows he never really cared.

 

Brilliant.

[melissag87]

Day 8 of NC/ May 18th was the break up

 

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was in a horrible mood, i was really irritable and I was annoyed by everyone. I didn't feel like myself. I also felt really anxious. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my ex was hanging out with a girl from his past again and I kept thinking about them together and it made me sick. I wasn't sad but instead I was just angry and really upset. I felt like i wanted to punch someone in the face today! I went to dinner with my sister and she took me to a restaurant that was right near the apartment of the girl that my ex is talking to. I got even more nervous that I was gonna see the two of them around the area and I hardly ate! I was really tempted to log onto my sister's facebook to take a look at his profile and I wanted to check his email but I used some self control and stopped myself. I hope that this gets easier.Today was horrible...although i didn't cry, i was just angry and bitter. I still want him back so badly. This is my plan as of right now: My ex told me that he had something of mine at his house and if wanted it back. I told him that he probably doesn't want to see me and i definitely don't want to see him so I told him to keep it and that i'll get it from him in a couple of weeks. I'm planning to go NC for a month and a half or so and then i'm gonna call him and ask for it back. I'm hoping that when we see eachother he'll get a rush of feelings for me again and hopefully he'll come back. I know it's a long shot but that's the only thing that keeps me haning on. Plus at the end of October it's my best friend's wedding and he told me that if I wanted to that he would still go as my date. The wedding is out of town so we would have to make a mini vacation out of it and i think i'm going to take him. I hope that we will have a great weekend together and we will be able to work things out. But for now he needs time to be without me and time to miss me

[brokenheart311]

Very early beginning of day 44 of NC and 111 since break up. Actually tonight marks 15 weeks since the official breakup. Almost 4 months, over a quarter of the year and I still feel like * * * * . I was actually doing pretty decent for a few days. A little while ago as i was about to get in bed I just got really pissed off. My dogs peed in the bed and as i was stripping the sheets to put in the washer I was saying "I should just get rid of you guys. Heather is the one who wanted you, she never loved you, she never loved me. * * * * ing * * * * * !!! How could she do this, why does she love us one minute and then nothing?" I know dogs can't understand what we are saying, but they can pick up our tones. I felt bad for saying those things about my dogs, i love them and there have been times where i've been sad and crying and they come up and put the heads in my lap like they are trying to comfort me.

 

I broke my guitar out again recently and am trying to make it a habit to practice at least 30 minutes per day. Slowly getting better. I was playing Jewel's "you were meant for me" the other day and it was really emotional. I have also written two songs. and by written I mena I've put lyrics down on paper and strummed chords to go with my singing. One is called "right now", it about looking for answers, and the other is called " I was wrong" and it's about trusting my heart to the wrong person.

 

I wish there was a definitive way just to push somebody out of your mind and heart. NC only seems to be working with a minimal amount of success. I don't talk about her to my family or our mutual friends anymore. I don't post here that often about her just in case in makes me dwell upon her. now I just post about her when I've either had a success of not feeling badly (rare) or when it becomes so overwhelming (like now) wher e I feel like cutting my heart of my chest so that I don't have to feel her in me anymore. I wish I could stick a probe in my brain and fry the particular cells that hold her in my memory. Why can't it be as easy as deleting files.

 

Two other times in my life I have lost someone I "thought" i was in love with. the first time I broke up with her because I knew we were too different and if I let it go longer it would have ended badly. It broke my heart to do but i was over it within a few week, thus maybe it wasn't true love.

 

The second time I started dating around a month after the breakup and still hurt up until the 2 month point. that is when I met my current ex, instantly the hurt was gone, so again maybe I wasn't truly in love then either?

 

This time I started dating 6 weeks post breakup. 3 different women with one lasting 6 dates over 3.5 weeks. I ended that because I could not stop thinking about my ex. I ended things with the last girl 3.5 weeks ago and haven't looked back, but I still think about/cry about/yearn for my ex. Why is this so hard? Is this who I'm supposed to be with and my heart won't let me throw it away? When will my heart decide that enough is enough and stop hurting? Maybe after I fall asleep tonight?

[Cat76]

Hi All

 

I've come back for a little visit and to see if anybody is here from a couple of months ago.

 

I'm up to Day 100 and something, I gave up counting a couple of months ago. It really does get easier or maybe I wasn't as invested as I thought I was. I've had a few dates and got back on the horse 'as the saying goes' without giving you all too much information *wink*

 

Anybody seen Jellybaby41? (I think thats the right username)

 

Cat

[Deuce7]

I had to calculate the dates. Not counting it anymore. I feel lot better than I did 2 months ago. NC has brought me back to feeling myself again. I'm almost the person I was when I met my ex but stronger and better. At this point I don't know if I even want her back anymore. My feelings for her are much distant than before. I'm certainly on the right path. I went on my first date last week and I didn't even think about her. Ha!

 

I think of her from time to time and it hurts less. I know for certain that I am able to stand on my own and be happy. Her actions of jumping into a rebound and listening to her friends will only hurt her worse in the end. I don't understand how you can walk away and not work things out. Oh well, good luck to her. 8 months left of residency and I'll be sitting pretty.

[icyness]

It's been like a week since I've contacted him, and a month since I've actually spoken to him.

 

It does get easier, however all those feelings are still inside of me..all the thoughts, worry, anger, hurt, sadness and confusion are still very much alive. The only difference is I don't allow myself to acknowledge them like I did a couple of weeks ago. If I do, I'll just be a sobbing mess 24/7 all over again. I suppose at this juncture I'm making myself numb to it.

 

I still can't help but think and wonder all the time if I'll ever hear from him again.

 

I'm so incredibly sick of upsetting myself over someone who probably isn't even giving me the slightest thought.

How can I still love him so much.

[bexcelant]

No contact has helped me heal although I have always been hoping against hope that my girl would come back to me. It has been two months of no contact and for the first time today, I spoke to her and she informed me that she had an accident and was pregnant. I was shocked to say the least.

 

Well there goes any hope of her coming back sigh....