THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Raider81]

Day 1 and i'm feeling like crap, I feel alone, confused, and just don't feel good about myself. This is day 1 of starting to get ME back!!!!!!

[journeynow]

Raider,

 

That's rough. I don't know how NC works if you are living together, but it sounds like you both needs some breathing space. I don't have advice. Have you tried counseling?

[agape-mama]

Day 33!!

 

I've decided to push the goal out another 30 days.

Even tho I am feeling better, and missing him less often, I am simply not past my feelings for him yet.

I woke up this morning from a dream about our first kiss, and I felt incredibly sad to think that the passion and kindness that was once there is something long gone.

 

I've been dating a bit, and that seems to be a good / fun distraction, but it's hard not to do a bit of comparing. Then, I feel bad for thinking of him while out with someone else...

For now, I'll just continue to focus on myself and perhaps up the workout schedule a bit...

[Raider81]

Journeynow, Ya we've been to a few sessions of counselling. Things did get a bit better but at the end got alot worse. I'm super confused and ya living with the person is a bit weird. Were such good friends that's why this hurts so bad, I didn't see it coming!!!! I'm scared that were gonna grow apart and the marriage won't be worth fixing. but talking is just making things worse it sounds like a broken record.

 

Thanks for the reply..... I guess in my case it will be called limited No contact!!!

[tujna]

Tough, tough, tough. Yesterday I had a normal day but today is hard although not the worst. I just want peace, nothing else. I just want to be free from this torture. I want to forget I ever knew this person!! I just want it stop somehow.

[caligirl98]

day 10 of NC. i'm in the double digits!!!

 

my ex (who is with someone new and happy with them) continues to call me every 3 or 4 days....freaking selfish (&*$%*(&$. I don't pick up and have no idea what they want.

[createhappiness]

day 26

 

my ex has been in the forefront of my mind all day, agghh! i don't even know what triggered it. maybe it's the anticipation of the 30 day mark and i haven't heard from him at all (not expecting to after my very blunt email to stop toying w/ my emotions). i hope it subsides soon... i can just feel every fiber of the no contact "separation" tearing one by one...

[FriendnorFoe]

on reflection of these past 30 days my ex has made no attept to contact me in any way, on one hand it has helped my healing process without having to think about her too much, on the other it hurts to think that she dosent even care whats going on with me and makes me think that she has moved on and is sure she made the right decesion, but perhaps 30 days is not anything, its not like 3 years, lol how much could have changed in a month, I dunno but still it would be nice to hear from her, well the only way is up from here still stickin with NC, maybe after 90 or 120 days if I feel like I have completely moved on I will give her a call to see whats up, but then again maybe I wont even feel the need to at that point, well see where this river takes me, for now just going with the flow

[tujna]

Congrats, FriendnorFoe, I take you as my example. Why does it look like men handle the NC thing easier than women?

[brazilgirl21]

Oh, because they sure do!! I'm on day 22! Getting to 30 again!!

[tujna]

Sent the message as I intended to... No reply as I expected... Sigh... It is all for the better.

[LemonCheesecak]

Oh, because they sure do!! I'm on day 22! Getting to 30 again!!

 

Not entirely true, hence why I'm on my 3rd attempt at it! Day 11 now. My ex is definitely having an easier time than me, then again she was always the stronger one in the relationship

[FriendnorFoe]

Congrats, FriendnorFoe, I take you as my example. Why does it look like men handle the NC thing easier than women?

 

Thanks, its been a struggle but I feel I have regained my faith and confidence in myself. I dunno if it is easier for either gender, If you think about it my ex is persuing NC prolly better than me I dunno, she too is making no effort to contact but unlike me she dosent need to vent on a message board about her feelings, so perhaps she is stronger than me as a female in that department, but I dont really care if she is handling it good or badly, she dumped me so I feel not obligation to see how she is doing.

[brazilgirl21]

I think girls are still a little more impulsive than guys. The whole left vs right brain discussion. haha

 

But wow, NC is the toughest thing I've ever endured in my life.

 

I was used to "owning" my ex. I could call him whenever, tell him to do whatever, and he would just listen to my orders. How sick was that. Even when he started dating the new girl I'd be like, "G, I need you, PLEASE leave her and come to me" or "G, pick up the phone I don't care if your with your gf, I need you" and he would rightly do so. What the hell? I thought he was obligated to be available for me forever. And he was always willing to assist me, even though I dumped him.

 

NC showed me to respect my ex and his space. He owns me NOTHING, zero. I wonder, however, if he secretly miss my calls... I wonder if he thought I'd ever be able to do this NC.

 

Weird post, I'm just in a weird mood.

 

Does NC feels like your ex is dead sometimes? Or like he never existed?? Weirdest feeling in the world.

[tiggboriqua]

Im frustrated with no end . She keeps calling me for the situation on the car and also other financial responsabilites she has , she told me today that we made commiments together and that I should help her or basicaly pay for everything like before I told her NO you wanted this life and also told me to stop protecting you so let me be , I really dont care what happen to the car or time shares or whatever else you want or have in mind . Why would I care about stuff like that? Why would I go out of my way to help you you and I are not a we anymore you are you Iam me .

 

 

 

She drives me insaine with the physcology she really does believe she can get anything from me . I cant blame her she use to her . But really how can you trash the heart of another person and expect them to gladly help you out take care of the problems ?

 

 

 

Its just logical or maybe Im crazy but how can you expect a person to be there for you when you did not care about them or how they felt ?

 

 

Its great to come to someone for help without caring for the other person a part of me would like to help her out the other part of me tell me this is illogical stupid even . when she told me to stop protecting her to let her hit the wall and make mistakes .

 

 

Any advice?

 

oh I have to start day one again sigh

[IBelieve]

Made a mistake today and found pictures of my ex and her new boyfriend on facebook. Made a thread about it in the healing forum so I won't retype it all here.

 

I'm not feeling as bad as I thought I would surprisingly.. I'll do some more thinking and hopefully post more tomorrow.

 

Still going strong with NC and I have no intention of breaking it. Even if it becomes tempting I know that NC is best for me. Repeating: "Gotta do whats best for me" x10000 times in my mind.

 

Gnite all

[ScorpiGal83]

well i made it, thanks for everyones advice and support, I am definitley in a better mindframe than I was 30 days ago, theres much to look forward to in the future

 

Congratulations!!!

[ScorpiGal83]

Day 19

 

I saw a photo of my ex and I today, it was on my desk at work, buried under a pile of papers, books and whatnot. I was clearing my desk and saw it.

 

And i didn't feel a THING.

 

nothing.

 

It's over. I think I'm healed. But i would like to make it to Day 30 first before I decide that!

[Cat76]

Day 19

 

I saw a photo of my ex and I today, it was on my desk at work, buried under a pile of papers, books and whatnot. I was clearing my desk and saw it.

 

And i didn't feel a THING.

 

nothing.

 

It's over. I think I'm healed. But i would like to make it to Day 30 first before I decide that!

 

Wow SG, you are doing so well. I'm loving your pic too

 

I think I'm on Day 4, not really counting anymore. I got a reply to my 'funny' email yesterday (I sent it THREE days ago). Strange

 

The new guy I have been emailing wants to meet up so I'm now trying to come up with possible places to go and that's keeping me distracted for now.

[pace of ace]

Day 14

 

My new personal record!! \\

 

There's something to shout about. Almost half way to 30 days, and i feel i could do alot more!

 

I wanna talk to her naturally, but i owe it to myself to do this.

[ToodlePip]

So so. I have a half date tonight - meeting this girl for a drink before we go join some other friends for a gig. We got off one night 3 years ago, didn't follow it up and neither did she. (she was in a dying relationship, I was hopeing to date someone else). Met up once more just before my last breakup, got on well. So we'll see - just going into it with friendly expectations.

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 15

whats better then a day of shopping, hair and makeup with fun girlfriends? i feel so freshened up...i can honestly say i probally spent one third of the day thinking about him...which is such an improvement!!! Everything i used to think about lead to him, all day, everyday, but today i just let my self go, i was having so much fun i didnt need to remind myself of all the good times i no longer have...and i cant really remember watching myself, from thinking about him obbsessively today, because i didnt think about him all that much! Kept thinking and talking about all the ups of new hotties ill get to date, when im ready, in the future hehe

Still sticking to keeping up no contact, and not contacting him on his birthday this coming weekend. Im spending his birthday at a party with all my girlfriends, something i would have bitterly had to of missed out on, and spent with him and all his gay sleezy friends if i was still with him. I wont need or want to contact him

Yep. Things deffinetly are getting brighter

[Qut81]

Day 16

 

I was thinking about writing him this email bc I was thinking this morning about something he said the last time.

 

I have a quick question. You said that when we slept together 3 wks ago that we were just friends. That friends who sleep together are the same as regular friends. Being that we were in a relationship and you were friends with M (when you slept with her a wk before we became official) then that must mean you two were sleeping together, correct? Bc apparently, you sleep with all your female friends.

 

Shouldnt send it huh?

[tujna]

Day 3 I guess. We haven't seen each other for 2 weeks now. Sometimes I feel like these 7 years were like a dream that never happened. Other times I feel like what is happening right now is the dream and I will wake up. I can't wait for this pain to start reducing, I really can't. I want it be months from now. I just want to feel better. I envy you guys, feeling better after 2 weeks. i still have troubles letting go and accepting. I try to repeat to myself: he doesn't want to be with me, he doesn't want to talk to me. Why does it have to be so hard? I hope acceptance will surface with time.

[tujna]

Day 3 I guess. We haven't seen each other for 2 weeks now. Sometimes I feel like these 7 years were like a dream that never happened. Other times I feel like what is happening right now is the dream and I will wake up. I can't wait for this pain to start reducing, I really can't. I want it be months from now. I just want to feel better. I envy you guys, feeling better after 2 weeks. i still have troubles letting go and accepting. I try to repeat to myself: he doesn't want to be with me, he doesn't want to talk to me. Why does it have to be so hard? I hope acceptance will surface with time.