Getting back together really does happen!

[PurpleRomantic]

I have to say, after reading every single post, this thread has given me hope. Not necessarily of getting back together, but of getting my own life back on track. I have all the time in the world to focus on me now, and there were really great examples of people crashing through the emotional walls of their break-ups. This is one of the reasons I joined this site after lurking for a while.

[maron]

Hey Maron, I read your blog/posts on here. How long we're you and your ex together? How long has it been since your break up?

 

we dated for about 7, 8 months? it's been about 2 years since we broke up. i've given up on this, because i saw a picture of him together with his ex-gf looking pretty cozy. in which case, i'd say they may be back together? stings a bit, but it's better to see that picture. kills all the hope. maybe he should contribute his story to this thread.

 

i contributed this post a few months ago:

 

on-topic contribution: i'm not close to this side of the family, but my cousin and her husband broke up after high school. i don't know who did the breaking up, i don't know if they stayed in touch casually or as friends during the time they broke up, but i know she dated after the break up. she got into her professional program of choice and later on, i saw their wedding photo on another family member's fridge and only then was i told they got married.

 

i found out details about this break up. my cousin broke up with the guy before going to college. no communication whatsoever for 4 years. her sister got married and invited the ex-boyfriend to the wedding (nope, i don't know her motivation for it). she was very upset at the bride for that decision, but that's what started their communication and their eventual reconciliation.

[Phatb618]

Hey Maron, you never know what can happen. You should know that from reading this forum! So never say never! I'm here thinking about my ex girlfriend and I get upset now more than I do sad. I feel she's making a mistake, big time! During the whole time of dating this new guy, she and I were talking about trying, even went out a few times on dates. She started seeing him, 3 weeks after our break up and in her own words was, lonely, confused and sad. When I first found out about her new guy, I said that was quick and her response was, "I like companionship", "he takes care of me emotionally, like she's always wanted me to".

 

Can anyone say "REBOUND"??? My only problem with my ex is she may not be mature enough to realize its a rebound and see that she hasn't addressed the issues that caused our break up, that after 3 weeks, there is no way she could've healed. Truthfully, I hope that this causes the relationship to FAIL! And if she comes back to me, she is going to have to jump through hoops, actually hoops that are on fire!

[Faith276]

Hello,

I was on this site last September and realised I did not update my story!

My boyfriend and I had been together for 2 and 1/2 years when last Sept (2011) he had a bit of a breakdown - questioning his life, just starting a course, wondering if we were right for each other - the whole works. He messed me around for a few weeks before we broke up, finally coming round and doing the whole 'maybe in a few years we can be friends' thing. I was gutted - he was my first adult relationship. Family members coming round to check on me, friends staying over, breakup-diet etc. (Tbh, the worst thing was that it happened when my best friend was away!)

 

I immediately went on the internet, searching for what to do but in the end I followed my instincts - I wrote down anything i wanted to say to him and hid it away. I took down all the photos and put them in a cupboard. I went NIC straight away but never did NC (might have ignored the phone a few times though!)

 

2 Hours after the break up he rang saying he had second thoughts - I told him tough. The next day he saw me looking out of a window and came round - I asked him to not contact me for 2 weeks - we had tickets to a concert 2 weeks later (for his bday) and I suggested we see how we feel then. He managed 4 days before ringing to see how I was - I answered the phone, had a quick chat, reminded him of the 2 weeks and went on my way. This happened every 3-4 days. the day before the concert he saw me out driving and in his words 'fell to pieces' - he didn't feel ok seeing me and didnt want to go to the concert. Cue me and a girlfriend going to a tear-soaked concert.

 

I asked him to not contact me until the end of October. Again, he managed 3-4 days at a time. He begged me to go out with him for dinner and I agreed - we started working our way back from there.

 

I have to warn everyone that it was not an easy path - though we worked our way back from the first date, there were still times when I couldn't stop crying, we had huge arguments about why he did it and how to move forward. We are better than ever now

There is still the occasional time when you wonder 'is it all worth it?' but I'm glad we worked it out - though I'd say it took us a year to get properly back together, comfortable with each other. Only thing now is getting the parents to accept it - mine are polite to him, but think Im making a mistake. Anyone else dealt with that?

Faith xx

[Phatb618]

Actually I have sort of 2 getting back together stories, that are tied together...

 

My friend and his wife, dated in high school, went to prom together and then after graduating they went there separate ways. After they split, he then went out with a girl that he really, really liked but it was a summer thing but was a GREAT summer thing that ended when they both went away to different colleges. Well, maybe about 6 or 7 years later, he's out on the town and happens to go by a hotel and then sees a sign for his "summer ex" getting married that weekend. He goes in and says hello and congratulations. Nothing really comes of it. Ironically he also ran into his prom date and they reconcile, get back together and have been married 7 years now, with 2 daughters! The twist to this story is that the "summer ex", seems to have never gotten over him. She is married as well now and also has I think 1 or 2 kids and funny enough they ended up moving to the same neighborhood and do not live very far from each other and ran into each other again in the neighborhood. They exchange contact info and a few weeks later, out of the blue, she textes him, saying she is still really attracted to him and basically wants to have an affair with him! LOL

 

So as you can see, both relationships are ex's coming back in different ways, after a long time apart. So they never forget if you had a long relationship or at least one that was impactful. So you never know!!!

[maron]

Hey Maron, you never know what can happen. You should know that from reading this forum! So never say never!

 

hey, thanks. you're right, i don't know and it will be weird for something to start up in the first place since we're really far from each other. i'm single by choice because i'm still in school, but as soon as i graduate and get settled into my career, figure out my personal finances, i will be more open to dating opportunities. i'd like to end up in the same state as he's in, but i don't talk about it much with people who know he's there because they think i'm going there "for him." not true - especially with what i saw. while i'd like to see him again, i just like the area as i've been there to visit family and liked the vibe; i've made plans to try things over there before i dated him, too. as i've said, he has let me know to contact him if i'm in his area but again, since i'm planning to move there, i don't know if i'll ever take him up on that once i'm settled in. i'm scared.

 

 

on topic again:

 

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just because i don't think it'll happen to me doesn't mean it won't happen for others.

[StudentF]

Can I ask you if that ever turned out and why you broke up ?

Because i'm having a similar situation here. Also one year and a bit together then broke up for a month, again back together for 2 years and now broke up again. Also still hoping for a reconciliation but only in the long run when we both have grown.

[BlueKitten]

Sucks for this guy, but it's great for the rest of us who WANT our ex to be like this and come back to us! LOL

 

 

 

[Bayroot]

My mum and dad split up for about 6 years, didn't date anyone in between, and have now been living together again for the last 5 years or so, everything is so much better than it ever was. My dad changed a complete 180.

 

My ex's sister broke up with her boyfriend quite a few times. Had been together for 4/5 years. They split one time and he slept with a girl that she always was jealous of. They got back together. Split further down the line, she liked someone at work, but then realised that she wanted her ex back. They got back together and have been living together for about 1 and a half years now since.

 

My ex's parents split for a small while and got back together. Parents changed a lot in the time in between.

 

It does happen. But I can also tell you stories where it didn't.

[mochi8]

Me and my ex broke up at the end of Nov from a 7 years and 5 months relationship. He told me his feelings changed and he felt bored and unhappy. He didn't like our routines. Any stories out there where the ex lost the feelings and then came back?

[vesper]

I want to get back together with my ex !!!!!

 

All he said *i dont know what the future holds* regarding us. What am I supposed to do with that ?????

[2bcome1]

Move on,Simple as that!

[maron]

excerpt from an article in Cosmopolitan magazine link removed

 

The affair ended when I started to rekindle my love with an ex-boyfriend. It's been three years now, and I am incredibly happy in my new relationship. I'm monogamous and faithful. But to this day, my office fling remains the most exciting time of my life. I recommend it to every girl.

 

... to each their own, i guess.

[Snapback]

I have a story to share! It's with my parents actually.

 

My mom and dad are in the process of getting back together now! My mom divorced my dad 4 years ago. My dad met an old classmate/high-school girlfriend just weeks after it ended and ended up marrying his high school ex-girlfriend about a year after my mom and him divorced. I think my dad was just really lonely so he married her out of loneliness because they never seemed "in love." Anyhow, my step-mom and dad just finalized their divorce (after almost 3 years) this month, and my mom and dad are "talking" and hanging out now. From what my mom has said about my dad, and from what my dad has said about my mom, I think it will be a successful reunion. They now have respect for the other person. I remember 4 years ago how much hate they seemed to have for the other, and how its all gone now.

 

Gives me hope that my ex will return! By watching my parents through the years, I have seen that time does heal all wounds!

[Amandacast57]

I was just speaking to a girl I work with. I knew she has recently been married but I didn't know much about her husband, etc.

 

She told me that she met her husband during her senior year in college. During that year, they liked each other, but they didn't want to commit. Once they graduated, they started dating. She didn't say how long into the relationship, but it was a few years or so, he broke things off. She said at the time, she thought it was out of no where but it really wasn't.

 

Anyways, she tried to keep the contact up and she even told me that she didn't think they would get back together. They were apart for 6-7 months when they got back together. They dated for another year and a half and got engaged. Now they are happily married!

[MagicForest]

It's been about two months since my guy and I got back together (after a three-month split wherein he was clear that he wanted to be friends with no expectation of getting back together). Our relationship is STRONGER than it was in the time we were together; affection, communication, sex, passion, honesty, and respect are all present. I suspected that things weren't over between us, but sometimes I find myself in utter disbelief about how amazing everything is. It's like we have a completely different relationship in some ways, with all the things that were good from the get-go completely amplified. I love my life!

[Amandacast57]

It's been about two months since my guy and I got back together (after a three-month split wherein he was clear that he wanted to be friends with no expectation of getting back together). Our relationship is STRONGER than it was in the time we were together; affection, communication, sex, passion, honesty, and respect are all present. I suspected that things weren't over between us, but sometimes I find myself in utter disbelief about how amazing everything is. It's like we have a completely different relationship in some ways, with all the things that were good from the get-go completely amplified. I love my life!

 

Why did you guys break up? Were you in contact during the split?

[mochi8]

It's been about two months since my guy and I got back together (after a three-month split wherein he was clear that he wanted to be friends with no expectation of getting back together). Our relationship is STRONGER than it was in the time we were together; affection, communication, sex, passion, honesty, and respect are all present. I suspected that things weren't over between us, but sometimes I find myself in utter disbelief about how amazing everything is. It's like we have a completely different relationship in some ways, with all the things that were good from the get-go completely amplified. I love my life!

 

Do sure who initiate contact? I always wonder what spark his interest to try to work with you on the relationship. Do share your story? =]

[rocknrolla]

I've read a few stories on here, and a few on another thread. My ex and I have been broken up for nearly 7 months after 2.5 years, I spent 2.5 months doing all the wrong things trying to get her back instead of just giving her space by NC. There has been very little contact since September except the occasional run in at a pub or bar and once I foolishly txt her on New Years Eve which resulted in her calling me because she was worried about me.

 

By best friend still is friends with her and recently told me every time they hang out she asks about me, he also told me that he really believes I can get her back but only if I stop sitting around hating my life and do something about it, make me the best me I can. He believes it will attract her back to me.

 

I have a function I have to attend late February that she'll be at, we haven't seen one another since November. I've decided to do everything I can to pick myself up and make myself better then ever, make me a place she'd want to be again. I have a lot of work ahead of me with only a month to do it in, but I only hope by then it'll be enough to spark her interest again and if not enough that I'll be ok if it doesn't.

 

Wish me luck and I hope in time I can post a story of how my ex and I "got back together".

[wowor]

Remember to do it for yourself and not for her, rocknrolla. Otherwise, you going to be upset if she doesn't come back to you.

[rocknrolla]

Just ran into my ex's sister, had a long talk with her and she said the same as my friend, if I get my act together I chave a real shot of getting her back. But the a friend who's a girl that was with me said that my ex's sister told her there's no chance that she only said that to me cause she thought it was what I needed to hear...... In about 5 min I went from as close to top of the world as I can get right now to hating my life and not knowing who to believe...

[thebigman]

i have another story for all you heartbroken souls out there. it seems that if you want a reconciliation story the best place to look is in my friend group as theres been around 5 of them in the last 6 months lol.

a good friend of mine had a gf during his highschool years that continued into his early 20's. though they did break up for a few months every now and then (the longest being around 4 months but its mainly because they were young and still finding their feet in life) they always came back to each other somehow.that was until 7 years ago when after living with each other, they split for good (or so it seemed). my friend since then had a 5 year relationship which ended just over a year ago and has had a few non serious flings since then.his ex was married to a guy for 5 years also but that came to an end a few months ago. my friend works with his exes mother and recently started talking about the cats that my friend and his ex bought together when they were a couple.my friend told her that she is quite welcome to have his number if his ex would like to visit them sometime.last night, after a few weeks of chatting they met up in the same flat that they bought together all those years ago so she could visit the cats. just after she left he txt me and told me that it wasnt until she was there that he realised that he still has feelings for her. today they arranged to meet again so there is obviously some kind of attraction on her side aswell. old habits die hard as they say and after 7 years of complete silence (i have been out with my friend before when she has been in the same place and they just ignored each other) there are signs that they may rekindle their lost romance.madness.

[tbillson]

I have known quite a few relationships which ended and got a second chance, but I will share the two that ended up getting married:

 

1st: My sister and her now husband dated on an off since she was a freshman and he was a senior in high school. The break ups tended to be short lived and stupid when they were young but the most serious one came when she was a sophmore in college and he had graduated and was trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. My sister has told me that she knows he left her to date another girl and because of this she told him that she couldn't be in contact with him for a while. I believe it was around 9 months later that they got back into contact (he initiated) and at this point she was completely moved on for herself. They began talking as friends and did so for a few more months until they decided to get back together. They have now been married for 8 years and have 3 kids.

 

2nd: This story I heard through my ex so I'm not clear on all the details but anyway this couple had dated for several years and then he cheated on her and they broke up. They went their separate ways, he served in the army for a few years, and somehow they found their way back and she was able to forgive him. They have been married for a little over a year now I believe.

 

So it definitely does happen, but I'm not so sure about my situation. My girlfriend believed we were growing apart (I still don't see how but clearly there's something not right for her) but there is also another guy she has feelings for. The problem is she is not jumping into anything with him and is taking this time to just be single. I feel like her not dating means that she will properly heal and remove her feelings from our 2.5 year relationship and my chances will disappear. In a weird way I wish she jumped into something with this guy because I feel like rebound stories tend to come back more.

[sjones92]

I feel like when reading these stories if a woman ends a LTR (IMO 1.5 years or longer) she tends to be more definite in her decisions and not give it a second chance. Does anyone feel like women come back less often or are more certain with their decision?

[aliciafisher]

I got back together with my ex 4 weeks after BU, 2 weeks NC, 1 week NIC. Just wanted to let you guys know and to thank you for being such an awesome support group. I promised myself that if I ever got him back, I wouldn't just disappear from ENA but come back and write about it. Getting back together really DOES happen.

 

P.S. My ex from 3 years ago also contacted me last week and told me he isn't over me yet. He says he sees "little reminders" of me in other people. But he was abusive, so it doesn't give me any satisfaction. Does that count?