wowor

Remember to do it for yourself and not for her, rocknrolla. Otherwise, you going to be upset if she doesn't come back to you.

I think the science bit posted by GuDe explains a lot about my relationship with my ex. We dated for 9 years and overcame so many obstacles together - moving halfway accross the country in my crappy car, helping each other build foundations for our careers, living together for 5 years, and building our own family. These things don't just go away over time. Add to that the fact we were together through our late adolescent years and almost all of our 20s, and I think there is a very strong chance we will reconcile. However, I can't put my life on hold. I've taken more ownership of my life than I ever had before - finances, career, hobbies, interests, new people, and other women. It's all coming together rather organically and I'm finally seeing the truly wonderful opportunity that this time in my life is.

I still can't believe you ended it after 9 years together in just 3 weeks. You were all alone, starting a temporary long distance relationship with me in one the largest cities in the country, and I believe you became confused and overwhelmed. You consoled your family that is filled with poor relationship advice and experience instead of our loving, mutual friends as well as me! You never even gave us a chance to develop us, or see what the next chapter of our lives would be. All of the struggles we had overcome; all of the milestones achieved. For what now? Not even a month ago, you had said you wanted to grow old with me and I had been saving for a ring. This all seems like such a bad dream. Our love was so strong and the castle we had built together was truly beautiful. I hope this is worth it. Our castle has become my castle and I am fortifying it with each passing day...

15 days since BU 8 days since NC The holiday weekend here in the states was extremely helpful for me in the healing process. I was able to reflect a lot on myself and our relationship.

This is a great post. I am going through similar realizations about my prior relationship. I lost who I was and what made me an individual. I am recapturing that aspect of my personality back, and whatever the future holds I need to be sure to maintain myself alongside a companion or partner.

10 days since BU 3 days since NC

Just hung out with some of my friends, and I'm actually shifting into the anger phase. After 9 years, why do I deserve someone who doesn't have the gall to break up with me face to face? Let alone include me in the conversation....