Getting back together really does happen!

[sada88]

I have two stories regarding the same girl:

 

1. My friend started dating her best friend but her best friend's ex was always in the picture trying to steal him away. Bf's ex kept on sending him lewd photos of herself and sexting and her bf would always goad it on. Anyway, long story short...my friend found out the photos and dumped his two-timing a*s. And he went back to his ex who is quite inferior to my friend. His ex has like 4 children and is currently on welfare while my friend is going for her Masters. And his ex is quite psycho. She keeps on msging my friend really messed up texts.

 

2. This same friend also dated another guy that cheated on her. She ended it and kept telling him off whenever he tries to contact her. Anyway, he gets into an accident and he calls her up for help. She helped him out and he realized that he fell in love with her because she was always the one there for him when he needed it. Anyway, they've started dating again.

[Tired Tiger]

So... if you like interesting stories about this topic, here's a month worth of reading that will probably induce plenty of dropped jaws:

 

link removed

 

I was a paid member there many years ago, and know some of those people personally. This is for all those who wonder if their ex will remember them. These stories are after 20, 30, 40 and more years apart. No, not all successful - but very enlightening all in all. Enjoy.

[aev]

1. The older brother of someone I dated in high school had this amazing story, which always gave me hope: M (the brother) and T (his girlfriend) were both from really destructive, abusive households. T used to self-injure, and M used to run away from his problems. Years before I met M, he pretty much ran away from the relationship and his family. He ended up living all over the place (including in a LARP in West Virginia...), dating around, living his life. I don't know how much contact they had in between, but after 5-10 years, he came back home. That's when I met him. He and T reunited, and I have never seen a couple more in love than they are. That was 7 years ago, and they're married and going strong =] You could see how much they had both grown up.

 

2. I knew of a therapist who divorced and then remarried his wife 20 years later. In those years in between, she dated and he remarried, but in the end, they got back together. He passed away recently, but the last years of his life were spent happily with the woman he loved.

[hpinky]

Hello everyone I myself have my own success story

 

On one thread on here I took the NC challenge to help myself move on. My ex and I were broken up for 2 months. Just recently we've been hanging out again and were going on our first date this coming Sunday. Were not back together but it's a process that's going really well. I just wanted to put my own story on here because I remember how sad I was at the beginning of our break up and now it's like were starting new.

 

Don't give up hope. If they really love you they'll find their way back.

[paradiselost]

Hi Everyone I have two stories - one is still a work in progress.

 

1. One of my best friends from high school moved abroad for work 7 years ago. Before she did move, she started seeing a guys for a couple of months. The relationship ended for obvious reasons. Anyhow in the meantime she also gets enganged, due to marry last year and calls it off. This February, after 7 years the guy adds her on fb randomly. In June she comes home for a holiday, which unfortunately turns into a very serious health matter and by coincidence logs on to fb chat and sees him there. They start chatting and when he finds out she is home they chat and meet and it rekindles all from there.

 

However, not sure it will last - he happens to be a doctor and my friend has just gone through a major operation as they found cancer while she was here. He was a great support to her at hospital. However he was and still is seeing a girl the last 4 months and has not left her yet. My friend wnats him but he all of a sudden seems to not be able to take a decision. Who knows if it will work out. But he keeps telling her that in these 7 years he has never forgotten her and now she feels that all this time apart made her realise how great he is.

 

2. this was about her best friend. Her best friend had really like this guy when she was 15 but obviously as they were do young it was only dating and he didnt remain keen on her. In the mean time she grows up and met a guy and was moving all the way to Australia for him to get married the lot. As soon as she arrives he tells her I dont see you in my future and completely breaks her heart. She goes back home and by coincidence runs acorss this guy from when she was 15. They started seeing each other and are now engaged to be married

[paradiselost]

This is a short lived get back together.

 

My friend was with her guy for 3 years. Moved all the way to Australia to be with him to marry etc. However things are not working out and they break up and she moves the other side of the world. Two months pass and all of a sudden calls her up, crying wants to see her. Next day hops on a plane, shows up New Years EVe to be with her and that week he proposes to her.

 

Things is by May they had finished again and this time its for real. Poor friend was due to be married in 3 weeks so its not easy at the moment but he came back all the way from the other side of teh world for her.

[TSandullo]

Here is a potential GBT work in progress.

 

It is from the 'divorce' forum here on ENA that I have been replying to.

 

 

 

We'll see how things develop in time.

 

TS

[pillowtalk]

Whenever I'm feeling down or missing my ex, these stories always perk me up. It's not that it gives me hope that we'll get back together -- it's not even what I necessarily want. But it shows me that things always work out for the best, no matter what that result is.

[rn2011]

Whenever I'm feeling down or missing my ex, these stories always perk me up. It's not that it gives me hope that we'll get back together -- it's not even what I necessarily want. But it shows me that things always work out for the best, no matter what that result is.

 

The stories make me feel better too!!

[jeepman41]

Hello everyone I myself have my own success story

 

On one thread on here I took the NC challenge to help myself move on. My ex and I were broken up for 2 months. Just recently we've been hanging out again and were going on our first date this coming Sunday. Were not back together but it's a process that's going really well. I just wanted to put my own story on here because I remember how sad I was at the beginning of our break up and now it's like were starting new.

 

Don't give up hope. If they really love you they'll find their way back.

 

 

 

 

Hello, hpinky, I remember you from the NC challenge forum. Glad to see that after NC and trying to heal yourself you've gotten back together with your ex. I hope everything works out for you.

[Griffey]

So when do you respond to them? Especially if it's like a year later and they're seeing someone. Do you just ignore ignore ignore untile they send a text saying "I'm single and I want you back?"

 

I feel like you don't know when to respond to the little bs contacts.

[hpinky]

Hello, hpinky, I remember you from the NC challenge forum. Glad to see that after NC and trying to heal yourself you've gotten back together with your ex. I hope everything works out for you.

 

Hi jeepman. Thank you for your help and advice in the NC forum. Things are going well. We still aren't back together officially but were exclusive and we take time to talk to each other and there's a lot of respect for one another. We are moving very slowly but it's on the right path. I hope all goes well for you.

[scotsguy]

So when do you respond to them? Especially if it's like a year later and they're seeing someone. Do you just ignore ignore ignore untile they send a text saying "I'm single and I want you back?"

 

I feel like you don't know when to respond to the little bs contacts.

 

It's difficult yes. I generally stuck to the rule that as long as she was still seeing someone, I wasn't interested. That meant I would either not respond at all (most of the time) or respond in a detached manner. The impression my occasional replies gave was that I was only replying because I had to and I would much rather not have to deal with her at all. Because while they're seeing someone else, I really can't think of any legitimate reason they would need to contact you. If the little crappy contacts continue, you could reply with, "I know you mean well but I'd rather you didn't contact me unless it's important. Thanks." That's a nice way of doing it but it gets the message accross. 'Important' is open to interpretation of course - but it saves you explicitly saying, "unless you want to get back together". And if that doesn't stop her contacting you for little things, then you can be a bit more blunt, since you have already asked nicely. When she told me she was single again and wanted to meet, I was more open to speaking to her - because the bf was out of the picture. So at some point you have to take a step of faith if you're going to reconcile, but not while they have a new partner IMO.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Scotsman, I admire you for being so strong and having that self-knowledge that you only deserve the best - no crumbs accepted. You weren't acting, it was real. I'm only a couple of months, and have been pretty good re NC and didn't put on a performance at the BU. For a while though, I harbored unspoken hopes we would get back together. I'm at the stage now though that I couldn't be bothered although there is still some pain there for me.

 

I couldn't say for certainty, but I think there is the possibility my ex would do as yours has - my exex came back after around a year - he'd tried contacting me unsuccessfully severall times before that. By then, I had genuinely moved on and didn't want him back.

 

If my ex does come back as yours has, I want to make certain that I would never let myself be messed around like that again and that I will never hang around with anyone who will treat me as though I am second or third choice.

 

I hope things work out for you - in fact, I'm sure they will because you have a very healthy regard for yourself and how you will allow others to treat you. All the best.

[paradiselost]

Heard this story this afternoon....

 

Couple went out for 4 years both living in Dubai. They couldnt agree on where to live - he wanted to move back to New Zealand where he is from and she wanted to move back to Europe where she is from.

 

He leaves her - she goes back to Europe, he goes back to New Zealand.

 

No Contact for 7 months.

 

Then he sends her a 5 page letter saying she is the love of his life, will live anywhere with her and wants to see her.

 

She is very hesitant to see him, not sure she wants him back but meets him.

 

They get back together, 6 months later proposes, moves to her home country, marry 2.5 years later (total of 7 years together) and now expecting a baby

 

 

[Doofus]

Someone way up thread had asked for a story about people who had been together a long time, apart for a long time and then reconciled. My in-laws were married for, I think, 25 years when they split up (although they didn't divorce...). Wife moved several states away. They were apart for almost two years, wife dated other men, don't know if the husband did. Eventually, they start dating again and reconcile. Next year will be their 50th anniversary - if they don't split up in the meantime

[Destiny2112]

Today I heard rumours on the radio, that Rihanna got back together with her ex from 2006 Negus Sealy (Her first love, with whom she was together before she became famous).

 

link removed

[NeverGoingBack]

Something tells me that the "story" of me and my ex-gf is not over. At the moment, it feels like we'll never even talk to each other again. I'd like for people to please read my first post/thread here and give me their opinion on what is likely to happen in the future. Thanks.

[Carus]

I've always had a bit of a love/hate relationship with threads like this, mainly based around not wanting to promote false hopes for those trying to break the bond. (took me over a year!)...But I guess the facts cant be ignored:

 

Was chatting with a fellow student in the libary yesterday. She told me she is in recent contact with an ex she has not seen nor heard of for 12 years...

 

Of course I asked all the pertinent questions that we want to know:

 

Not sure how long they were together originally.

She broke up with him.

They have both had other LTRs in the last 12 years.

She re-established contact recently through BookFace.

The timing is immaculate as they are both single at the moment.

They are taking it slow and seeing what happens.

 

If two people are still alive on the planet, anything is possible I guess*

 

Best Of Luck Everyone

Carus* 8-)

[diarmuidz]

Great thread! this is exactly what I need...

 

I have a story - more of a 'getting together for the first time' thing, but I think the lesson is transferable. This story is about how I got together with my the girl I loved - we broke up 2 months later and I'm hoping we'll be back together again, hence I come to ENA a lot!

 

Anyway, this girl and I were very close over the years - our parents were friends and we met up constantly, and eventually we became friends ourselves. We used to hang out a lot, I remember going to anti-war rallies with her, and going to parties with her and sometimes just being out real late joking and laughing. I suppose we never saw each other romantically, because we each had relationships we were working on in our own lives. We were just good friends and it was comfortable.

 

When I left home to goto med school, she was the only friend I kept in touch with back home. Although I missed all my other friends, there was never a need to keep in touch with them - I would see them and hang out with them when I'd come home during vacations. But with her, it was different. Talking with her was so much fun, and really helped me through the rough parts of school. Over time, and the hundreds of hours of skype video chats, I started realizing I liked her and was attracted to her. I hoped she felt something for me too (I mean, how can you spend so much of your free time talking and reaching out to someone, and NOT have some feelings there??). But she never said anything, and I decided that telling her over skype wasn't classy - I would ask her in person when I would see her next.

 

Turns out we didn't see each other for 3 years cuz our vacations never lined up, and she actually left the country to pursue her masters. We still talked, and I still liked her... Every now and then we'd have a disagreement, and sometimes we'd go for a stretch of time not talking at all.. but it was all good.

 

Finally, this past year, I was going crazy wanting to start something with her.... and ironically, she actually became real busy at the time, that pretty soon we weren't talking that much and her email turnover was like 2 weeks. I told myself that she clearly doesn't feel the same way, or she would make more efforts, and I decided to just stop talking to her all together because it was painful for me and not going anywhere.

 

I try to put her out of my mind, and accept the fact that we won't be together.. I let go and moved on with my life. Two months later, she sends me an impromptu email saying that she's been thinking about me a lot and wondering how I been doing. I respond the next day that I been good, but busy, and we start talking again, and things are picking up really quickly, and we fall back into the routine of talking for hours and hours. She got real sick one day, and I stayed on the phone with her for 5 hours and she loved it! Before I knew it, she made plans to take a trip to come visit me..... and when she did, after a day or so I told her how I felt, and just like that we were together!!

 

We subsequently broke up because she felt we were moving too fast, she had doubts, and I guess from talking with other ENAers, she probably lost attraction to me or something. Anyway, the point of this post is that I really liked her but realized it wasn't going anywhere, so I let go and moved on, and she came to me! I practically didn't do anything! Now that we're broken up, initially I begged/pleaded/cried a bit, but now have gone NC (third month now), and maybe in time she'll come back to me again. I don't know, but that's my story. Going away from them makes them come after you...

[sharp pencil]

My cousin's girlfriend asked for space which led to a break up after 7 years together. He did some begging and she wasn't having it. He had me call her, she still wasn't having it. A month later he accepted the loss and moved to my city. I think six months later she called and asked him back but after some back and forth he flipped out and changed his number. Another year goes by and she managed to get his number form a mutual friend and calls him. I guessed enough time had passed and he got over it. They talked for another 3 months and are officially back together. they've been on for a year now.they seem happy so hopefully they make it work this time.

[scotsguy]

Thanks Silver B. Been pretty busy the last week, hence my slowness in replying. It sounds like you have it all figured out too if someone wants you back, they have to make all the moves at first. And yes, they run the risk that you will decide at any point that you don't want them back! Isn't it fair that they should do more of the work initially seeing as they created the situation? If your ex does come back (and I hope he does if that is what you want) then do be prepared to walk away if he's not treating you like he should! It's easy to grab a reconciliation with both hands at the first sign of interest from an ex, and equally easy to let them away with things because you don't want to rock the boat. If his behaviour is unacceptable, say so! I wish you the best, and I know things will be okay for you - whichever way it ends up going.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Scotsguy and thanks for the reply. I actually feel that I have moved on further since I posted that message. I doubt very much that I would ever want to go back to my ex. I have lost respect for him because of how he went about the breakup and things he has done since. I see other things about him now which I would not accept in a person who I had any consideration of being in a relationship with.

 

I'm not on the dating or single scene yet and don't know if I will, but there have been 2 men I have been acquainted with for some time who have expressed a strong interest in me - one of them expressed that interest more to a mutual friend who was delighted to tell me. LOL! The other man, I share certain passions with (I mean like hobbies/interests), and he is SO much better looking than the ex. Not charming in the way my ex can be when he wants, but I think more real.

 

BTW, I am meant to be collecting the last of my belongings on Wednesday, and the ex has volunteered that he would like to share a coffee with me. I plan on being polite, but brief. He has expressed an interest in "friendship" with me, but I'd be scratching my head to think how he has been a friend to me over the last couple of months, and yet I hear has gone out of his way for other people who I believe from his own anecdotes have treated him poorly in the past. Not someone I would want to be friends with. Gotta admit though that I'm so looking forward to him seeing me as people are telling me how great I'm looking!

 

Anyway, you don't need me to say Good Luck because whatever happens, sounds like you will be okay Scotsguy.

[NeverGoingBack]

I got an e-mail that said "Hey". That's all. What to do now?

[why do we]

Nothing. Wait for something more meaningful )