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Tired Tiger

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Tired Tiger last won the day on January 2 2012

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About Tired Tiger

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  • Birthday 09/14/1963

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  1. Why would you want to be friends with your ex when you've got yourself a harem right here? By the way, 90, I have a bone to pick with you. Quite some time ago you posted the Opeth video for "Hope Leaves". Seemed like an easy enough song to learn at the time. Ack. I believe my pinky now has it's own version of Carpal Tunnel just trying to work out that bass progression (guitar) on the intro riff. Thanks a lot.
  2. Hey all, I'm going to avoid giving specific, situational 'advice', as it usually ends up being the same thing I've written here already. I completely understand the personal uniqueness that each and every one of you feels may require a re-inventing of the wheel or construction of a better mousetrap, but that simply hasn't been my experience with regards to how reconciliations (successful ones, anyway) work. There's also the fact that truly informed advice only emulates from having both perspectives to consider. Best though our intentions may be, we can only ever relay our own perceptions. T
  3. Tears, In order to give you the benefit of the doubt about your intentions, I had a glance at your profile - started threads list. You're about 4 or 5 months out from the break up of a ten year relationship, correct? And I believe this was a post you made just one week ago... No offense intended, but if you're going to insist that where you're at right now is all about "friendship", you're clearly in denial. I know it's hard, but you have to fight, scratch, and claw your way to acceptance that your previous relationship is over. You have to let him go, and the sooner the better.
  4. You do realize that this is a "Getting Back Together" forum, and a thread devoted to the process of reconciliation, right? Well, ok, but... A chance for what? For you to be "friends" again? I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like anything but hanging on, at least if you're going to be honest with yourself. Regardless of how you label what this is (or isn't), the point is that he does not want a relationship ('friend' or otherwise) with you at this time. It doesn't really need any further interpretation. He has defined a boundary, and if you don't respect and honor that completel
  5. The recurring theme I see here is the continuing interaction between exes. As a matter of my own opinion and experience, this is accomplishing nothing more than staying stuck. Believe me, I know how hard all of this is. I was going through it before most of you were born. You have to completely let go and enforce the separation and detachment before you can even start to be on your way to considering the possibility of a reconciliation. There are no shortcuts. Salvage missions don't work. Being "friends" is a myth. Chances are incalculable in the future, but they are zero if one, the o
  6. It's only 'high risk' and frustratingly complicated when applied out-of-context. Relationship skills - among them being 'mirroring and validation' - are primarily meant to be used within active, mutual relationships (which I believe the overwhelming majority here are not in). Trying to alter these things as a means to "get the ex back" is actually counter-productive. Learn these things to help understand how things have gone wrong in past relationships, as well as assistance for getting it right in the future... but not as a means (or rather an excuse) to maintain attachment. As markie sta
  7. A bump, but perhaps only for a small percentage reading. You see, there's actually two different philosophies contained within this section of eNA - one following the appropriately named title of the forum, "Getting Back Together", the other being, "getting an ex back". If the difference between these two phrases isn't overwhelmingly obvious, then you aren't where you need to be. Case in point - Read the most recent 50 threads started here. Are they about successful reconciliations, or are they concentrated on what can be done to rescue/salvage/coerce the old relationship back into bein
  8. Well, how about that - a cameo appearance by Al. brown shoes - You've got it. Stick on that path, and you'll be fine. Cheers! Pene - No offense, but it's clear you've read no more than the last page of this thread. Not only has this been asked, answered and discussed, but you're doing yourself a great disservice by not reading the entire thread. When you're ready. As for myself... doing GRRRREAT!
  9. I'm not sure why it is you felt the need to defend yourself, loulou - I thought it was clear that I was addressing another poster. Be that as it may, I believe you expressed a desire for positivity? To that end, my point was that the use of all these 'dump' words (dumper, dumpee, dumped, et al), is indicitive of a negative perspective. Call it semantics, but word association reflects attitude, and these words are, in fact, the opposite of positive. Now, that's not to say it isn't perfectly normal to think that way for a while post break up, but for those in a position to even consider a reconc
  10. So, then you're aware that she's one of the very few posters here who have accomplished what nearly everyone here is looking for. While there may be a certain amount of value in the concept of 'misery loves company', there's a more pragmatic benefit to listening to someone who has a positive outcome. There's a difference between "negativity" and simply not hearing what you want to hear. A rhetorical question... does playing the victim and/or martyr facilitate the attitude needed to maintain a healthy relationship? What about the devaluation/villianizing of another? All those 'dump' wor
  11. Nah, Winnie - nothing directed at you. I do understand where your thoughts come from about this, and I'd also point out that the concepts of compassion and empathy cannot be understated. It may not be easy, but it's not complicated. And necessary. Where we are now is focused on the path forward, not the one behind. I see so many here that won't allow themselves their own capability for forgiveness and releasing the resentment. Doing this for one's self is a very powerful thing, and will be absolutely necessary for even the possibility of a healthy relationship, not to mention a reconciliation.
  12. Again, thanks for the kind thoughts. ItalMF - yes, the same. A cheers to Dweezy! (that's about the best pronounciation I have for that ) I can't guarantee that anyone will achieve any specific outcome by practicing compassion, acceptance, and positivity, BUT - I know of zero successful relationships or reunions based on resentment, vilification, and pessimism. None. A negative attitude will produce a negative reality. Food for thought. My apologies to those who may be offended by my happiness. A word about "patience". I'm hesitant to apply that particular word/concep
  13. Thanks for the well wishes (from both of us). Of course. And in keeping with the idea of perspective - it's often equally quite obvious that the poster isn't all there, either. Wouldn't it be interesting and enlightening to hear from both sides of any given story? There's certainly no guarantees with this sort of thing, and I'd never pretend to suggest that there's any sure-fire formula or "strategy" that will assure a specific outcome with relationships. No such thing exists (in the context of this forum). However, I fail to see any downside - regardless of eventual outco
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