diarmuidz

What's a GIGS?

Great thread! this is exactly what I need... I have a story - more of a 'getting together for the first time' thing, but I think the lesson is transferable. This story is about how I got together with my the girl I loved - we broke up 2 months later and I'm hoping we'll be back together again, hence I come to ENA a lot! Anyway, this girl and I were very close over the years - our parents were friends and we met up constantly, and eventually we became friends ourselves. We used to hang out a lot, I remember going to anti-war rallies with her, and going to parties with her and sometimes just being out real late joking and laughing. I suppose we never saw each other romantically, because we each had relationships we were working on in our own lives. We were just good friends and it was comfortable. When I left home to goto med school, she was the only friend I kept in touch with back home. Although I missed all my other friends, there was never a need to keep in touch with them - I would see them and hang out with them when I'd come home during vacations. But with her, it was different. Talking with her was so much fun, and really helped me through the rough parts of school. Over time, and the hundreds of hours of skype video chats, I started realizing I liked her and was attracted to her. I hoped she felt something for me too (I mean, how can you spend so much of your free time talking and reaching out to someone, and NOT have some feelings there??). But she never said anything, and I decided that telling her over skype wasn't classy - I would ask her in person when I would see her next. Turns out we didn't see each other for 3 years cuz our vacations never lined up, and she actually left the country to pursue her masters. We still talked, and I still liked her... Every now and then we'd have a disagreement, and sometimes we'd go for a stretch of time not talking at all.. but it was all good. Finally, this past year, I was going crazy wanting to start something with her.... and ironically, she actually became real busy at the time, that pretty soon we weren't talking that much and her email turnover was like 2 weeks. I told myself that she clearly doesn't feel the same way, or she would make more efforts, and I decided to just stop talking to her all together because it was painful for me and not going anywhere. I try to put her out of my mind, and accept the fact that we won't be together.. I let go and moved on with my life. Two months later, she sends me an impromptu email saying that she's been thinking about me a lot and wondering how I been doing. I respond the next day that I been good, but busy, and we start talking again, and things are picking up really quickly, and we fall back into the routine of talking for hours and hours. She got real sick one day, and I stayed on the phone with her for 5 hours and she loved it! Before I knew it, she made plans to take a trip to come visit me..... and when she did, after a day or so I told her how I felt, and just like that we were together!! We subsequently broke up because she felt we were moving too fast, she had doubts, and I guess from talking with other ENAers, she probably lost attraction to me or something. Anyway, the point of this post is that I really liked her but realized it wasn't going anywhere, so I let go and moved on, and she came to me! I practically didn't do anything! Now that we're broken up, initially I begged/pleaded/cried a bit, but now have gone NC (third month now), and maybe in time she'll come back to me again. I don't know, but that's my story. Going away from them makes them come after you...

I LOVED YOU SO MUCH!!! Everyone was against you - my family and my friends never thought you were good enough to be my girlfriend or my wife, but I told them they were wrong. I told them that they don't know you - how amazing, sweet, caring, charming and considerate you are. That they don't know how beautiful your soul is, how smart you are, and how perfect you are for me.... Did you have to make me a liar in front of everyone? Did you really have to prove them right by breaking my heart?! Didn't we promise that we'd work on any problems that came up? So then why did you bail? What were your reasons? I was a broke student in debt when I told you that once I graduate from med school, money will never be a problem for us - and you turned around and called me materialistic and shallow. Even though I had no money at the time, I wanted to buy you a nice piece of jewelery - and you turned around and called me insecure. I had a real rough day once and complained about it to you - and you turned around and called me narcissistic because I didn't ask you how you were. STILL I loved you, because despite all that, we got along beautifully for the most part. You were the only girl for me - I only had eyes for you. I loved holding you and kissing you, running my hands through your hair, carrying you in my arms, listening to your breathe when you slept. I reminded you how beautiful you were everytime I saw you. You made me happy... until you decided to leave me. Until you shattered my heart, and left me alone. I still wait for you to come back, to apologize, to ask... no, to beg me to take you back.... maybe then I'll be able to forgive you for the pain you caused me... But if that never happens, I'm sure karma will break you heart too, somehow, somewhere..... maybe you'll end up coming to this very site to find comfort just like I am doing now. Maybe you'll read this very post I'm writing, and you'll remember what you did to me.... and you'll finally understand why I cried the day you left me.