dikaia880 Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 It (eye contact) used to be the hardest thing for me, but I learned that if you get a little unconfident with eye contact, just think of someone else...I think of an ex that wanted to marry me, I've never had a problem with this ex...I just seem to get lost in her eyes and the sly smile comes naturally from thinking about all the things she used to say about us... Eye contact and a smile, will go farther than any word! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 30, 2004 Author Share Posted March 30, 2004 I can safely say - thanks Beec, Dikaia and Spatz - I shall not be underestimating the importance of my long-lashed eye-contact on Thursday. Long, lingering looks it is then .... G xx P.S. Just hope he does not come from the same school of thought as Beec and read inflatable love doll for soulmate!!! Sometimes things get lost in translation!!! P.P.S. Enough of this nonsense - I am going to bed!!! Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Just don't get overwhelmed...think of what you want from the eye contact, not what he wants...focus on that! P.S. By the way what does your signature line mean?? Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 30, 2004 Author Share Posted March 30, 2004 Ooooh Dikaia - what an angel you are for noticing!!!! Some guys would not notice the little details, like the fact that I have changed my signature line ..... oh, I am sorry, I digress! It means 'the die is cast'. Seems prophetic when one is going into battle, don't you think? G xx Link to comment
Beec Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Hmmmmm .... see what I mean - got to be very careful reading those damned eyes!!! Especially as the inflatable love doll is not the look that I am after this season!! G xx You know I've always thought it was a very good look for women. Never understood why more did not try it. Link to comment
ophelan Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I'm not yet to the point that I'll lower myself to a lovedoll. I haven't seen GeeCee, though... ;-) Wow, waiting until Thursday must be killing you. I have a hard enough time waiting until the next day when I expect something positive to happen. Good luck, once more...if you persist, you will succeed. (Anyone ever notice that it is SO much easier to give advice than to follow it?) I had a great day today. No contact with Sarah, but she went home from work this afternoon sick, so I grabbed some flowers on my way home and left them for her with a note that I hope she is feeling better, then went out with some friends so I wouldn't run into her. Ended up having a fun night eating and drinking at an italian place, and I'm tempted to ask our waitress out if I run into her again. Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with Sarah, but that isn't going to stop me from living my life today. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 Please guys - spare a thought for me tomorrow. Some of the events relating to fellow enotaloners have just heightened my nerves about tomorrow. Nothing is cast in stone. Ideas can be changed - issues resolved. But boy oh boy I am feeling a little pressure. But then the gorgeous green-eyed one turns up and he is so calm, so friendly, so casual, so lovely - I'm like ... WTF - does he not realise what is going on here? And then I am grateful that he has no idea of the agony and the ecstasy he puts me through. So ... the die is cast. I am ready. I have a game-plan - flirty, distant, hot, open, closed, exciting, vibrant, want some on my conditions. No, you do not have to remind me - this will be a no sex date. The thought will be there - oh those delicious thoughts!!!! But, my restraint would impress Mother Theresa - I shall be a different person. I only hope that he doesn't start laughing and say WTF - stop pissing around!!! G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 We'll be thinking of ya! You'll do great, I'm sure...you seem to be in one of the best position out of all of us....and some of these have to have happy endings!!! Best of luck...use your eyes to your advantage...not his to your weakness...stare right through him!!! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 Thanks Dikaia I am not sure about being in a good position - one minute you think oh yeah - how could he resist. The next you remember, oh yeah - he did resist, not only that, but he dumped me!!! Oh, the agony and the ecstasy!!! G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 The past does not matter...thats why it is the past and not the present... Live for tomorrow and not yesterday! Damn I'm in a good mood! You'll do great, so go get what you want! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 Bloody hell Dikaia!!! You'll be spouting Chinese proverbs next!! G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 No...I don't really know of any of the top of my head... I'll just give you some Dikaisms... Link to comment
Beec Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 No Chinese philosophy, I can fix that: This nothingness is like a well Always giving, never taking And all claims to origin Neither wanting or forsaking You know it's ever present You find it where you have no face It is a wondrous blessing Original amazing grace Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I remember now why i have no chinese proverbs...They make you think too much... Theres one that someone posted in another forum, asking what people thought of it... How do you make a droplet last forever? you set it into the ocean... I mean come on...whats that teach you? the more water the longer it lasts? Now how about a Dikaism... Life is like a good beer....the more you have the better you feel. Simple...straight forward...the more you live the more you enjoy it! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 Beec Beec Beec Words fail me!!!! Check your PMs! G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 A secret is like a shadow, always hiding things.... I'm getting good at this Dikaisms stuff...I'm thinking, write a book...make millions...retire to the caribbean...hire Jimmy Buffett as my personal musician. Okay maybe my attitude needs a little check-up Is your date tonight GeeCee, or tomorrow...Either way Best of luck...I'll be in meetings tomorrow so i may not be posting much. At some point I have to turn the internet off and get some work done! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 Dikaia My big date is tomorrow. So at this time tomorrow, I should safely be tucked up in my bed - alone!! Yuck, bloody yuck!! There will be plenty of time for that other delicious stuff later, tho. G xx Link to comment
ophelan Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Good luck tomorrow night, GeeCee! Hope you're getting some good sleep now, and will be ready tomorrow! Make the most of it, and keep the upper hand! We'll all be thinking and praying for you tomorrow evening! Ophelan Link to comment
SincerlyHurt Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Hope all the best for you GeeCee, we want another success story around here. Just dont leave us if your love prevails. Link to comment
SincerlyHurt Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 You know I gotta vent, I think I'll do it here. Can I be part of this threaded family? It was a long day spent partly with the ex, I have some thoughts. I've been fairly light-hearted today. It could be that I am at wits end regarding the longing for my "old" life. The little adjustments for the most part have been adjusted. This dance is wearing out my heart and soul, I wonder sometimes if I should just give up. Can I suppress all my hope? I cant see the future or what it holds for me and with that realization I am becoming more and more content with just living each day as it comes. Time is moving a little faster now, passing by a little faster. Despite all the heartbreak and the fact that a few weeks ago the core of my being was ripped from me, I am living now for myself. I have gained the gift of patience. Is love even worth all of the mind f^*%ing? If it is true love do you really need to set out on these escapades? Who has the answers? I feel I am healing very rapidly. I love what I once had and would still love to have it back but could I ever relax and just unabashedly give my love? I am terrified of being hurt again but the love I have experienced outweighs the hurt. I can see now that time does heal. The most difficult aspect of being newly alone after 9 years is having all of this love, passion, and affection bottled up within me with no one to receive it. It is so unfortunate that it took an episode such as this to get me to realize what my relationship lacked. I guess the saying is true: What does not kill you only makes you stronger. So true! My hurt has blossomed into compassion, maturity, sincerity, confidence, as well as independence. My ordeal has definitely changed me for the better. I love the person I am becoming. People interest me again. I suppose that in the past I leaned on my partner way too much for emotional fulfillment. Much of what she provided could have been obtained from friends. I am sure I wore her out with my needs. She possessed both our lives and I had none. I wish I had the knowledge of late a long time ago. Love fulfills me and I yearn to give, to provide, to romance, and to get in return. Can I ever find another with the same emotional maturity as me? We keep a positive outlook here, always reading the good out of the bad. But in reality how many of us actually win our loves back and how many just give up and fade away. The odds are not in our favor and to turn the tables you have to play such an exhaustive hand. You think about the game night and day and if you succeed what are the chances it wont happen again? If they can leave us once they can do it again. I cant do this on a regular basis. This is not living. In these times it seems as if true love is invaluable. People seem to illogically skip from one person to the next without regard for feelings. What does it take to settle down, why is that issue so daunting? I see the inherent worries such as "this is the rest of my life", and yeah but so is everything else. Relationships are a work in progress, they require performance appraisals on a regular basis and when something is wrong it should be addressed. People walk away on a whim these days. I think it may be my time to give up, throw in the towel. Im bloodied and bruised, my eyes are nearly swollen shut so that I cant see the light, or reality for that matter. Just gotta take life as it comes. I cant force anyone to do anything, and why would I want to. I desire the things my future with my ex held, but it looks as if those dreams may never become reality. All the talk of children, starter homes, to buy or to build, our near future careers paths, all gone. Devastating. Here one day, gone the next, just like that. Are there any equivalents out there? Does love just fall in your lap? How will I know? Can I ever find a peaceful resolution within myself for letting "the one" get away due to lack of romance and spontanaety, because I got lazy in our relationship? Where is this love life of mine taking me, what is in store for me? Will I settle for less than I long for? That is what terrifies me. I may assume this person in my future is the best I will get, settle down with them and then never know what else I may have found. Ironically, this was never an issue with my ex, is that a sign of true love? Life has become overwhelming but at the same time independently simple. There are no more professions of love, no more flowers to send, no more thinking about you texts to send, no one to tell what I want to do to them tonight, no one to just hold, to spoon with for warmth, no one to fall asleep touching only later on to wake up sweating from each others body heat. No one to kiss with foul breath every morning as we wake. My life is in shambles. Link to comment
Clevertrevor Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Phew Sincerly, Actually I think you are doing great. You talk about being unable to see, but in fact your vision is no longer clouded by fear. Stand up and walk the walk my friend. Feel the earth between your toes. You made it. Now that you can see again, ask yourself what you want. And give up the future talk (for a while). Be happy in the now, take a look around at your new life and acknowledge your greatness. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 Wow Sincerelyhurt I think that you are seeing things very clearly - there is a distinct clarity about your note. You have made a real transition from scared and confused to acceptance and moving forward. Your message makes more sense than anything else I have ever read on this site and was beautifully eloquent. I think that you have shown you have a lot of dignity, some regret, but the ability to move your life forward. Bruised and bloodied you might feel. Standing tall and proud is how envisage you. You know ... we have had our dreams dashed. This is only the beginning. Fortunately, even though we do not want to admit it - there will be more dreams to follow, more songs to sing, more dances to dance, and more lips to kiss. This is not the end, for some of us it is merely the beginning - we just don't realise it at the moment. G xx P.S. Thanks guys for sooooo much support. Either I can do it, or I can't. Link to comment
majord23 Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I can do it Ok, the quote is taken out of context....but you get the idea G!! xox Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 Thanks Majord I falter, and like some magical force, you are behind me, pushing me forward. Thanks G xx P.S. Damnit all!!! I am going to enjoy this tonight - no guys, not that much!!!! Link to comment
MC Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I'm praying for you Geecee. Good luck! You come accross as a very strong woman and you will make it. Link to comment
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