hers Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Aw, I really hope you treat your mind better. Don't worry over nothing and have fun on your weekend trip! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Aw, I really hope you treat your mind better. Don't worry over nothing and have fun on your weekend trip! yeah, i have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and reading more about it realize that people with anxiety disorders often have higher than normal dating anxiety too. the head gets stuck in a negative loop and it's hard to break out of it. i would normally go to the gym to get my mind off of it, but the back..... sigh. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I def. think him texting you about your old university shows he was thinking about you. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 I def. think him texting you about your old university shows he was thinking about you. it's a little "joke." he runs the march madness bracket pool at his work. i told him my team never wins (they make it to the sweet 16 or elite 8 and then poop out). so he texted me to tell me they were winning. i texted him an hour later, they just lost, lol. yeah, i see what you mean, he is thinking of me and that is sweet. then there is the other "tape" that plays in my head that says, "If he was interested in you, he would have asked you out for a date this weekend by now....." ugh. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Yeah, stop that tape! There's still one more day to go until the weekend. And if he doesn't, that's cool. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 that's the thing about anxiety - you get stuck in these negative loops and it's hard to get out. i had this problem when i was taking my qualifying exams in graduate school. i finally had to start saying positive mantras, out loud, every single day to try to get my head to stop it. felt corny, but i think it helped me calm down and pass the exam. Link to comment
Applewhite Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Kinda curious what this M looks like... Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 it's a little "joke." he runs the march madness bracket pool at his work. i told him my team never wins (they make it to the sweet 16 or elite 8 and then poop out). so he texted me to tell me they were winning. i texted him an hour later, they just lost, lol. yeah, i see what you mean, he is thinking of me and that is sweet. then there is the other "tape" that plays in my head that says, "If he was interested in you, he would have asked you out for a date this weekend by now....." ugh. maybe he's just building suspense...kicking your anticipatory nodes into overdrive. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 haha, i'd show you, but then i'd have to go to his link removed profile and download his photos and that can be weird. or maybe it wouldn't be? i don't know. i think it would be better for me at this point to avoid going to his profile and seeing the last time he logged in.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 maybe he's just building suspense...kicking your anticipatory nodes into overdrive. well, effff.... it's working! Link to comment
Applewhite Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 haha, i'd show you, but then i'd have to go to his link removed profile and download his photos and that can be weird. or maybe it wouldn't be? i don't know. i think it would be better for me at this point to avoid going to his profile and seeing the last time he logged in.... Wow you have some self control girl. Wish I was like you... Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Wow you have some self control girl. Wish I was like you... not enough self-control to turn off the negative tapes. i dunno - i think i would just get hurt and it would drive my thoughts into overload. ie - was he logging online out of curiosity, or to look at a profile for a friend, or is he dating others??? etc...??? i mean, if he hasn't lined up a friday or saturday night date with me, what is he doing those nights?? see? that's the negative tape right there.... Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 not enough self-control to turn off the negative tapes. i dunno - i think i would just get hurt and it would drive my thoughts into overload. ie - was he logging online out of curiosity, or to look at a profile for a friend, or is he dating others??? etc...??? i mean, if he hasn't lined up a friday or saturday night date with me, what is he doing those nights?? see? that's the negative tape right there.... lol. i thought i was completely neurotic! i've had the exact same thought patterns at various times. clearly i AM neurotic...but i feel better knowing that you suffer from the same affliction, annie (playfully). although, i am a bit surprised. wouldn't have expected it. i guess we can't always be expected to be level-headed and rational. being irrational is more entertaining anyway. Link to comment
Applewhite Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 not enough self-control to turn off the negative tapes. i dunno - i think i would just get hurt and it would drive my thoughts into overload. ie - was he logging online out of curiosity, or to look at a profile for a friend, or is he dating others??? etc...??? i mean, if he hasn't lined up a friday or saturday night date with me, what is he doing those nights?? see? that's the negative tape right there.... Those are nothing compared to thoughts I usually have. Trust me. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 yeah, inside the anxious mind.... sigh. and obviously, i can't call him to yell at him about why he hasn't asked me out for friday and/or saturday night! he would think i'm a crazy person (which is something i need to conceal from him for a while!!!) Link to comment
Applewhite Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 yeah, inside the anxious mind.... sigh. and obviously, i can't call him to yell at him about why he hasn't asked me out for friday and/or saturday night! he would think i'm a crazy person (which is something i need to conceal from him for a while!!!) But you seem to be doing good. Problem with me is I'm crazy & I can't/don't conceal it. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 L saw my crazy side within the first week of us meeting each other (in the middle of the NY Subway). Why the man is still around I have no clue... Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 This is why annie is a MMA master. All that anxiety needs an output somewhere! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 if i already weren't so overloaded, i think it would be a good idea to take martial arts classes.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Just got back from a deep tissue massage. am actually feeling pretty nauseous right now. she really dug deep, and it hurt, but i distracted myself by talking the entire time. we talked about anxiety and relationships and stress and all sorts of things. she's a really interesting woman, from Portugal. I told her all about M, she just said take it easy, don't worry, women overanalyze everything while men usually don't, lol. I feel a lot better, she really loosened up all the tight areas, hopefully it stays like this tomorrow!! I couldn't fall asleep last night. maybe a few minutes here and there, the pain in my arm was so bad. my doctor called me today to check up on me, i told him am still in pain, but he basically said there's nothing really to do except keep stretching and deal with it. oh yeah, and he told me i'm HIV negative. lol. he wanted me to take a blood test because i'm a new patient and it's the hospital's recommendation. ok. and yeah, after the massage, M texted to inform me of basketball, lol. i still have so much to work through - there's probably a real link between stress/anxiety and tight muscles and all that. need to relax, somehow!! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Look on the upside - he's texting, even if it is about basketball! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 pfffft. lol. it's his bday next week, i was going to text him (maybe not tonight) but to tell him i'd like to take him out for his bday and to let me know which day would work. i was thinking dinner, maybe a movie, or to ask him what he'd like to do. Dinner + a card would be appropriate at this stage, right? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I think it would be, yeah. What about making him dinner? Or is that too early? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 I think it would be, yeah. What about making him dinner? Or is that too early? That would require making my place clean. i still have 15 boxes to unpack. and in my physical condition, have not been able to. who knows - maybe i will feel ok this weekend. that would be a nice option, for sure, if i can get my act together. i've been to his place twice and met his roommate. they have such a typical guy apartment, lol. i walked in, and there is a calendar of a half naked woman, stuck on january. i shook my head, laughed, and changed it to march, lol. he was like, 'i got that because i donated to charity' or something like that. omg. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 lol, suuurreeee he got it for donating to charity. It's a cute story though. I def think if you feel up to it cooking him dinner would be a nice option - I've found you always seem to talk more when your cooking with someone at home vs. the resturant dinner. Link to comment
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