Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

[annie24]

More food disappointment tonight. My friends and I attended a musical event at a venue tonight. i stood in line at the bar for like over 10 minutes, with 5 people in front of me. I have no idea what was going on, but the line was NOT MOVING. I asked if I was standing in the right line, they said yes. I think that someone must have ordered 20 of the specialty drinks because the line was not moving at all. It was so annoying. I finally got to the front of the line, and ordered 2 glasses of wine, just so I wouldn't have to go back. I am not exactly in the most lovely mood these days really.

 

Then I ordered some food. The food was ok but was cold (and dishes that were supposed to be hot). Nancy and Joe ordered the mediterranean plate. But the artichokes were spoiled (ew!) and instead of feta cheese, there was some other cheese that Nancy couldn't eat. They took it off our total though. So, all in all, disappointing food today.

 

I'm going to really try to focus on getting back to healthy - weight and cholesterol. I really just ate whatever I wanted while dating logan, also because of the lexapro my appetite increased. Logan was attracted to my belly. But I know that most guys won't be. Plus it's better to be healthy anyway. Not that i want (or even can be) slender if i tried, but i can slim down, for sure. i'll focus on that. yesterday was not too bad at the gym, it was nice at least watching some TV while on the elliptical.

[Daligal83]

annie, can you get back into dancing like you were before you moved? You seemed to love it so much and this is the perfect time to add something like that back to your life. I think you're handling everything really well. Cognitively, you know that this is all in your best interest. It's completely OK and normal to be hurting though. We can't necessarily choose who we have feelings for, but we can choose how we act on those feelings. Even though you knew he wasn't right for you, that doesn't mean you didn't love him. Like everyone else is saying, it just takes time and it'll slowly keep getting easier and easier. It's just adjusting to a new norm.

 

Also, for those of you who were talking about adopting older children from the foster care system, I LOVE YOU! I work with children in foster care and there is such a huge need for quality foster parents. It's an incredibly tough job because of the trauma the kids have been through, but they need positive and committed adults in such a big way. You guys are amazing for even considering it. If you ever have any questions or want to talk about the foster care system, let me know.

[annie24]

hm, yeah, i really should look around for a new dance class. you are right, it was fun, especially having a group of fun women to hang out with.

 

on a bad note, i guess the exterminator came by this week. I see he put bait behind the oven. I also smell dead mouse in my kitchen, but can't seem to find it. ew.

[Daligal83]

Did you check under the stove or behind the fridge? I still never caught the one I saw here. I found a new apartment though! It's smaller and more money, but the kitchen is gorgeous and updated, there's hardwood floors, two closets (I just have one now), free laundry in the basement and off street parking. I told my landlord today and all he said was that he'll give me 24 hour notice of any viewings. I then asked if he can take out my a/c unit whenever he gets a chance, which he insists on doing anyway. He didn't answer. It's so sad because I really love my apartment and the location of it. So much. I just can't deal with the situation.

[annie24]

i checked behind the stove but couldn't pull it out more without a bit of help. i mean, it's somewhere in the kitchen. ew.

[luminousone]

You didn't mention whether he brought by the money and your things today like he said he would.

 

He is not a man of his word...

[annie24]

I texted him. He said he would bring them today (Saturday). If he doesn't, I will give him Wednesday as a hard deadline before I file legal papers.

[annie24]

You didn't mention whether he brought by the money and your things today like he said he would.

 

He is not a man of his word...

 

It's really not a surprise, is it? He doesn't do things unless he absolutely has to. I did loan him money this summer for rent again, but he did pay me back a week later, when his inheritance came through. So, I do think he will pay. I think he is very lazy though and probably didn't drive down earlier because he didn't feel like it. if he doesn't by Wednesday, I will let him know that I will go ahead and begin legal actions.

 

.... If i really want to dig the knife in deep, I'd email his dad and let him know what Logan is doing.

[Ms Darcy]

What would you DREAM job be Annie?

[Applewhite]

He said himself that he would bring it today and didn't? What a jerk.

[annie24]

He said himself that he would bring it today and didn't? What a jerk.

 

well, he hasn't yet. If it's not here by 5 PM today, i'm going to send some texts to him, reminding him of our agreement (which I can later take to the courts).

[annie24]

I haven't cried today yet. my eyes are getting a little watery right now though. so frustrated and over him now. this is who he is.

 

Yesterday's text messages:

 

Annie: Have you dropped off my keys, checks for at least $890, and package yet? You may also drop off the items at the front security desk of my work (Address) M-F, 8-5 PM. Please include a note that it is for me and my phone number.

Logan: I'm going to get your package tomorrow. I'll drop everything off after, I will slip the keys and checks under your door.

Annie: OK

 

Today:

 

Annie: I see that you have still not given me back the package, money, or my apartment keys as you promised to do this morning. I lent you the $800 for rent (with the word loan on the check). And I paid for your half of your sister's wedding present ($90) with the agreement you would pay me back when you started working again, which you did on October 6th.

Logan: I'm sorry it's been raining. I've got the package. I'll bring everything by tonight or tomorrow.

Annie: I understand that you cannot pay all the debt at once and I agreed to let you pay in several installments.

Logan: You'll have everything by the 15th don't worry

Annie: If I do not have these items by 5 PM on Tuesday, I begin the process of filing through the court system to get my money and items back

Logan: And $500 to cash monday. You'll have everything by tomorrow don't worry.

Annie: I also would like the $20 for the tickets for the event 2 weeks ago you promised, and $5 for the dinner we had last week. For a total of $915.

Logan: No problem.

 

ugh. this guy is an idiot.

 

I went out, got my nails done, ran some errands, etc... I came back, saw none of the things were there, that's when i sent the texts.

[Patrick974]

Its been raining so he couldnt make it? Hope you guys dont live in Seattle.

[annie24]

I know how lame right?? It's not like he doesn't have a car or an umbrella. (I gave him my extra one) ugh. Next guy I date, I definitely will not be so giving.

[annie24]

seriously, i should have foreseen this. Hopefully he will get the stuff to me tomorrow and this will be case closed. But yeah, I remember him telling me he owed another ex money when they broke up. He has unpaid parking fines, he has an unpaid library book fine at his grad school and can't get his official transcripts until he pays that off.

[Batya33]

I think he will get the stuff to you by tomorrow and I'm glad you texted him.

[annie24]

He texted me now. Just slid the keys under the door and the checks, and left the package at my door. And now I'm crying.

[Batya33]

He texted me now. Just slid the keys under the door and the checks, and left the package at my door. And now I'm crying.

 

I'm sorry that made you sad and I am also glad he returned all of your things and did it in an appropriate (if late) way.

[annie24]

well, i told him i didn't want to see him anymore when we broke up, and he said he would just slide everything under the door, except for the package which he would leave at the door. so yeah, he did what he was supposed to just later.

 

I was really doing well today, and now i'm crying again.

[einsteins_girl]

 

Breakups are the worst.

[hers]

glad he paid you back and such.

 

I think to keep yorself from crying, list all of the bad things about him. Everything that someone or you would see as red flags in anyone else. Get yourself over him soon!

[annie24]

Thanks Hers. I know - there were many red flags all over the place. But there were a lot of good times too.

 

Today, I was so angry at him I couldn't even be sad. Him not giving me the stuff earlier this week like he said he would just reaffirmed what a life with him would be like, nagging him to do X and Y and Z. I understand that not every relationship is perfect, and there will always be things that annoy people about their partners, but this would be just too much. Dragging him along all the time.

 

I'm supposed to start getting ready to go to a halloween party. Need to start getting ready and putting on makeup once i stop crying.

 

I went to the gym this afternoon and did 25 minutes on the elliptical.

 

I'm just crying, this time last week I thought we were good and had settled our issues - he started his job, told me he loved me, we were making plans for the holidays..... and now it's nothing.

[annie24]

Today, I was so angry at him I couldn't even be sad. Him not giving me the stuff earlier this week like he said he would just reaffirmed what a life with him would be like, nagging him to do X and Y and Z. I understand that not every relationship is perfect, and there will always be things that annoy people about their partners, but this would be just too much. Dragging him along all the time.

 

I guess to add, he wasn't really offering a life with me either. When we broke up, I asked him why he brought up living together when my lease runs out, and he denied it. We had talked 2 weeks ago, he mentioned I could move in with him if my lease ran out and I needed a place to be. (Granted, not the same as a let's be forever together talk). He's also brought up multiple times of me going to Africa with him, if he decided to move there with his sister. But then all the "not head over heels" stuff is a huge red flag too, which I guess in the future, I will learn to run away faster. I just really wanted to give him a chance. And not kick a guy while he's down (i.e., leaving him when he was unemployed, having a rough time in his life). I guess I didn't expect to be drop kicked so swiftly myself.

[Daligal83]

I think one of the most difficult parts of a breakup is not putting all of the blame on yourself. I don't mean that you think you caused the break up and you are obviously well aware of his faults. I mean that it's hard not to see it as not being good enough or loved enough, etc. That's not really it though. It doesn't have to do with you, it has to do with him. There wasn't anything you could have done or said to make this turn out differently. Or to make him handle it better. It has nothing to do with not being good enough. It just wasn't right between you. And unfortunately, due to some of his flaws, the way it ended makes you feel otherwise. I doubt he's thinking of it like he's dropped you quickly or he took advantage of your kindness, like how we see it. He's in his own world and is acting based on his own thought processes. It'll take time, but once you're out of that break up daze, you'll be able to see that the way he handled everything really has nothing to do with you at all.

[Batya33]

I've heard it really helps to write one bad thing on an index card until you have a good size stack going, and flip through them when you feel vulnerable. And I hope you have a great time at the party.