Daligal83 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 what a night annie!! I'm interested to hear what he's going to say too. Keep us updated! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 well, so far, no email from him yet.... and i need to start getting dressed and ready for my sushi date with E. oh gawd, what a weekend...... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Well try to put busboy out of your head so you can really focus on E and if you click with him or not. And be happy that you have other options!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 well, he wrote back: this is part of the email; .......... Link to comment
DN Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Give it a day before responding and then ask him out for coffee. If he agrees then ask him if he thinks there may have been a chance for a relationship if he were not going away? if he say yes - then see if something can be worked out. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 It really seems like he likes you a lot, but just knows that the timing is off and he's trying to protect both of you. He just went with his impulses last night instead of his head, like he has been doing so far. I know it sucks though. I'm sorry annie. Do you think you'll reply? Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I was afraid that this was what he might say. I am sorry, Annie. If we were to put a positive spin on this guy, we could say that he is prudent, and this, perhaps, is the wise and best choice for both of you. Obviously, he was confused and felt conflicted about how to proceed, BUT (in my opinion), he chose the WRONG way to address his confusion. And honestly, I dont think he *seriously* entertained the idea that a relationship with you was something he was going to pursue. If this was the case, he would have replied to that email you sent him several weeks ago, in which you told him how you felt about him. Some people just dont understand that sometimes, it's kinder to be cruel. Leading someone on, under the guise of being "friendly" is just as vicious as being vicious. I know that what I say may not be helping but I do hope you feel better soon. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 Give it a day before responding and then ask him out for coffee. If he agrees then ask him if he thinks there may have been a chance for a relationship if he were not going away? if he say yes - then see if something can be worked out. given his response to this email, and the last email in which i told him i had feelings for him, it doesn't seem like there is anything to work out.... Link to comment
DN Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 given his response to this email, and the last email in which i told him i had feelings for him, it doesn't seem like there is anything to work out.... Maybe. Even probably. But still worth making sure. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 it hurts me that he regrets that we got intimate. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I do understand what DN is saying but why even bring up the "what-if"?? The fact of the matter is that he IS moving to Europe. If YOU have to persuade him or talk him into a LDR (and I am not saying you would do this, Annie, or you should do this), then it probably wont work out. The fact that he had time to think about this and this is still the conclusion he arrived at is pretty telling to me. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 it hurts me that he regrets that we got intimate. Well, I dont think he's saying he regrets it, per se, but he regrets the fact that it probably hurt and confused you more. I know that others may disagree but I think you should let this one go, for reals. This is why I said that he chose the WRONG way to address his confusion. Yes, he is human and he is allowed to make mistakes and like all human beings, he acted on impulse. BUT honestly, I felt like you were starting to heal and coming to terms with the fact that this would not work out BUT he had to dash your hopes again and set you back several steps. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 so, i just got back from the sushi date with E. i told him that i had too much to drink last night after the performance, and i wasn't feeling too well and that i wanted to go home and lay down. i think he understood. i told a half-truth, i guess. he was sweet and nice, and the food was really good. but i just apologized for being in kind of a low mood, i attributed it to being exhausted from the performance and all that. he asked if i want to meet up again and i said sure. i'm not really feeling all that attracted to him. maybe i'll just give things one more chance and see where it goes. you are right ellie. i was starting to heal. i guess i have to start all over again. yeah, i really hope he doesn't "regret" being intimate with me in the same way you would "regret" it if you woke up next to some random stranger you met in a bar the night before. I hope he doesn't regret me that way at all. that would hurt my feelings if that's what he meant.... this hurts..... Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Give it a day before responding and then ask him out for coffee. If he agrees then ask him if he thinks there may have been a chance for a relationship if he were not going away? if he say yes - then see if something can be worked out. i told him last night, i wish i had met him 2 years ago.... but then again, i said, i was a different person back then too, so i don't know if that would have worked either. he then said he agreed. said he was dating some girl a few years back, who has since married and had children. he said he broke it off because it wasn't working for him, but said he thinks that the 'now' him might have been able to work with the 'back then' girl. i do feel in my heart of hearts, if he were not leaving, that there could have been a shot at a relationship. but i think with him leaving, he's just not entertaining it as a serious possibility. he perked up a little when i told him i was likely going to europe this summer on a road trip with some of my friends. by the way, he hasn't made his ticket yet to leave for europe this month. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I don't think he meant he regretted that it happened with you, just that it wasn't a wise choice considering the situation. It was a poor choice of words on his part. I'd give E another chance. Your mind was on busboy and you were down about that situation, so it wasn't a fair shot for him. Give yourself a week or so to heal a little more and then try it again. Link to comment
DN Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I don't think he meant it that way either. And I still think you should see him. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 there is a beautiful flamenco song i have been listening to... and the lyrics are something along the lines of 'my tears have been falling, and i've been crying into a glass. but now the tears fall on the floor because the glass is full.' that's how i feel. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Maybe you should see him before he leaves, like DN said, but honestly, I dont see how that would help you. If he wanted to start a LDR with you, he would have suggested it already. So why delay the inevitable? Annie, sorry to hear that you're hurting. Maybe you should give yourself more time to heal/mourn before you go on more dates? Yes, there is a real possibility that you could find someone that you connect with through on-line dating but NOT when you're still grieving over what-might-have-been with this other guy. Take care of yourself. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 he perked up a little when i told him i was likely going to europe this summer on a road trip with some of my friends. awwwwww Like everyone has already mentioned, he didn't regret getting physical itself- he just knows that it adds confusion to the situation and he already knows that you have feelings for him from your e-mail to him. The fact that he attended your show tells me he really likes you too. (It wasn't like signing a yearbook then) He was a gentleman for not staying the night under these circumstances, with him leaving and all. I agree that you should still see him until he leaves. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 the irony is that if we had just gone to fetish night, none of this would have ever happened..... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Yes but since it did happen, he realized that he had to say something. If you just went to fetish, maybe you'd be just as confused as you were before. At least now you have a better idea of where he stands. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 i haven't written back yet, still thinking about things..... i think i need a few days. i think i should also take off from link removed for a while. i don't think i'm in shape to date right now. some guy wrote me this, i think after he winked at me and i winked back, or something like that. this is what he wrote. what a tool!!! Thank you for the attention. What is it about me that you found intriguing? Would you care to take a stroll sometime? Link to comment
RideOn Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 *note to self. Never write this to another woman* Link to comment
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