Spanking children-Right or Wrong?

[melrich]

She had given him a few moments here and there to cool down and he only got worse.

 

Give him half an hour to an hour. If he does not reasonably calm down after that then he has issues with temper and your spanking is definitely not working with this child. You will need to make it your focus to get to the source of his anger. Does he sleep well? Do you and your partner have any relationship issues that may be affecting him?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Mr. Maxium, I totally get it. I do. I know what it is to be at wits end with a disobedient child. Or a child in a fit or a defiant child for the sake of defiance.

 

Been there over and over and over again.

 

So... what I get from all that is this:

 

blah blah blah blah I hate you. I don't wanna do what you say.

 

Calm parent,.... "Honey, I'm going to have to punish you now."

 

AHHHH !!! ! ! SHUT UP!!!

 

"OK! That's it! You're punished. You're grounded or I'm taking privileges."

 

NO!!!!!!!!! I'm not going to TAKE your punishment!!

 

bicker bicker back n forth child won't stop but apparently neither will parent.

 

Child not listening. Swearing, kicking. NOTHING'S WORKING!!!

 

SMACK on the bottom!!!

 

 

sorry mom.

 

 

 

 

serenity

[sophie274]

I also wanted to say that I have seen kids throw super tantrums when they are used to getting their way all the time and then someone refuses something to them. This has happened to me with children I babysit - one of them is very badly behaved because his parents are very lenient, and when I discipline him (just saying "NO" and forbidding him from doing things), he has a fit. I just ignore it because I don't feel sorry for him - of course, harder to do when it's your son/child. That's probably not what's going here, but wanted to write it just in case.

[mrmaximum]

Give him half an hour to an hour. If he does not reasonably calm down after that then he has issues with temper and your spanking is definitely not working with this child. You will need to make it your focus to get to the source of his anger. Does he sleep well? Do you and your partner have any relationship issues that may be affecting him?

 

He sleeps well, and yes he is healthy. We have him in football and yes, we see a chiropractor for his back (it helps with my ADD too). No he hasn't had an episode like the one that he had that day. This is what I mean Melrich, this doesn't happen all the time, it was an isolated incident which happened when he was 7, thats it. There was one other instance where he was somewhat close but nothing like that day. For the most part reasoning with him works pretty well and usually we don't have to repeat ourselves with him to often. He leaned his lesson and if he ever gets his back up and won't give in, his mom only has to give him a look and he relents.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we bully him, I wish every kid in this world was like my stepson, life would be SO MUCH EASIER, I was nowhere near as fast learner like he is, this is the truth. To be honest it was actually his mom who would tell his dad (when he lived there) to go easy on him (He was from the Caribbean, as where my parents who believe in beatings LET ME TELL YOU) and it bothered her to see him spanking them. She only got physical when she had no choice and I've only seen it three times from her in the last 4 years. We try everything else that we can, we watch Dr. Phil, Nanny 911, Supernanny, and some of those methods work, some not so much.

 

Look I was raised in a household where the beatings could EASILY be construed as abuse!! I think back to some of the 'memories' that I had and there is no way on this world I would drape my kids like my parents did to me, my brother and my sister. One swat, man, only if you where lucky!!! If you are beating your kids on the regular, I agree that something may be wrong and must be altered, there is no need for this. However I still agree with MS that as a parent it is your job to teach your kids right from wrong. With your parents, the worst you can get is being grounded, what about when you have a job, a spouse, a child? Break the rules then and you can end up unemployed, divorced, jail. I'm not sure how I would take it to see any of my two behind bars, this cannot be allowed to happen as far as I'm concerned.

[mrmaximum]

Mr. Maxium, I totally get it. I do. I know what it is to be at wits end with a disobedient child. Or a child in a fit or a defiant child for the sake of defiance.

 

Been there over and over and over again.

 

So... what I get from all that is this:

 

blah blah blah blah I hate you. I don't wanna do what you say.

 

Calm parent,.... "Honey, I'm going to have to punish you now."

 

AHHHH !!! ! ! SHUT UP!!!

 

"OK! That's it! You're punished. You're grounded or I'm taking privileges."

 

NO!!!!!!!!! I'm not going to TAKE your punishment!!

 

bicker bicker back n forth child won't stop but apparently neither will parent.

 

Child not listening. Swearing, kicking. NOTHING'S WORKING!!!

 

SMACK on the bottom!!!

 

 

sorry mom.

 

 

 

 

serenity

 

There are times that i have said some of those very things. I didn't include My step daughter as she has ADHD and ODD and that makes her far from an average case. I've only seen my wife get physical with her once however, but let's just say that it's a work in progress. I usually try to calm my wife down as I don't get as emotional as she does (in some cases) and I did try those very statements (or something very similar) when my stepson starting getting riled up. I don't know if I had said this yet but I was shocked to see him act like that to say the least. My stepdaughter was quiet as a mouse as she watched her normally cool, calm, brother acting like a belligerent patron at a bar. to be honest if I didn't see it, there was no way I would have believed it, so I know that there may come a time where a child just simply may not respond to normal techniques. These where isolated incidents with him and haven't repeated themselves in over three years.

[melrich]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we bully him, I wish every kid in this world was like my stepson, life would be SO MUCH EASIER, I was nowhere near as fast learner like he is, this is the truth. To be honest it was actually his mom who would tell his dad (when he lived there) to go easy on him (He was from the Caribbean, as where my parents who believe in beatings LET ME TELL YOU) and it bothered her to see him spanking them. She only got physical when she had no choice and I've only seen it three times from her in the last 4 years. We try everything else that we can, we watch Dr. Phil, Nanny 911, Supernanny, and some of those methods work, some not so much.

 

It sounds like you are great parents and he is a good kid. As I said, I am not intractable on the issue and you guys sound like you have things in perspective and are doing well.

 

Cheers

[Enigmatika]

What enigma has been describing does NOT sound like loving discipline. It sounds like hateful abuse.

I'd really like to know where 3 sharp swats to the butt are all of a sudden "abuse" , AFTER , speaking to the child, demanding that the behavior stop, willfully ignoring you and harming another....I think you missed the part where it was the LAST RESORT.

 

Several here have sailed right past that point into Abuse allegations. Quite ridiculous and short sighted. .

 

With the Average child...spanking is not necessary. 1-2-3 countdown generally gets their attention. As MythicalSuicide stated, some kids don't care. They will continue with the behavior no matter what privileges are removed.

 

At the end of the day....if Kyle refuses to stop throwing the deliberately sharpened pencils accross the room, aiming for Becky's eye.....I am going to swat his rump. [ yeah yeah...take away the pencil....already been done...he justs gets another one from somebody else..LOL..]

 

I am of the opinion after the last near miss of the actual eye, in which he stabbed her with the pencil in the soft skin JUST below her eye....he has earned a good smart smack to the rump. That got his attention as nothing else would. [ wow...no more pencils whipping accross the room!!!]

 

....you may want to think twice about what works with some and not with others before screeching abuse. Little Becky could be Blind in One eye because of his actions...of which he had ALREADY been made well aware of.[ ...he knows...but you know...he just HAS to throw that pencil..lol]

 

 

Perhaps if Becky were YOUR daughter ....you would have a different opinion.

 

I don't believe it is necessary that A child be BLINDED before he LEARNS it's WRONG.

preemptive behavior modification to protect the health of others is of more importance as far as I am concerned...and if that makes me an "abuser"...so be it.

[rocio]

I'd really like to know where 3 sharp swats to the butt are all of a sudden "abuse" , AFTER , speaking to the child, demanding that the behavior stop, willfully ignoring you and harming another....I think you missed the part where it was the LAST RESORT.

 

 

If you must know, here were the parts of your quote that suggested to me that this was more like hateful abuse that loving guidance:

 

 

 

 

A smart stinging slap that leaves no mark after 15 mins for insolence and rude behavior. =Discipline.

 

I just don't think it's acceptable to slap anyone... especially if you do it so hard that it leave a mark for several minutes. That's cruel and humiliating.

 

Re: Bubbles: He got grabbed, thrown over my knee.

 

That part, right there, says alot to me. It tells me that you did this in the heat of the moment.

 

I have much respect for the way my mother did things. We were rarely spanked, but if it happened, she would inform us that we were going to get a spanking when we got home (or later, if we were already home). That gave her time to cool down. Then, she would take us privately into our bedroom and carefully explain what we had done wrong and why this kind of punishment was necessary. She asked plenty of questions to be sure we understood. She very clearly stated her love for us. Then she would calmly take us over he knee, spank us, then hug, hold and cuddle us when it was all over.

 

I think that method worked very well because we felt more bad about betraying her love by disobeying than we did about the spanking itself.

 

...You, on the other hand, seem to have done it to make yourself feel better, to vent your anger, in the heat of the moment... That is very scary to a child, who is smaller and weaker than you.

 

...Also, I find is sad that you continue to claim that this was a last resort. It implies that you have lost control of your own actions. That the children drove you to behave that way, as if you have no control over your own limits.

[Aleadragonhawk]

One thing that I see people bringing up is the amount of spanking and how it is done. MS talks about one swat on the behind through pants and diaper/pullups, and Enigmatika talks about three sharp swats to the rear. For those of you who do spank, is there a line between acceptable and not? Where is that line?

 

One spanking I remember very clearly from my life happened when I was in third grade. I took my collection of base ball cards to school. On the bus another girl my age took the Atlanta Braves cards away from me before I could say no (I was very shy) and gave me a dollar for them. I gave the dollar to my mom and told her that the girl had given it to me for the cards.

 

She beat me with a switch for ten minutes, leaving many welts and drawing blood.

 

This was not an uncommon level of spanking in my childhood, and I've heard similar stories from other people. This is what I see as spanking - not a tap on the rear.

 

I think that people may be talking about different things (or at least, different levels of things) when they discuss spanking.

[Enigmatika]

Re: Bubbles: He got grabbed, thrown over my knee.

That part, right there, says alot to me. It tells me that you did this in the heat of the moment.

Hardly...I don't get emotional about kids and bratty behavior. I just don't put up with it. There is a huge difference. There are RULES of proper conduct...If and When they choose to ignore repeated requests, there are consequences. Those consequences are unwavering.

 

Yet...not one of you have bothered with the explanation to Snickles mom about the bruising on the neck...or the missed pencil in the eye...and your child being blinded by it. Why IS that? Would you prefer that happen first...then have a "no no" time out for blinding the other child? If you for a split second believe that to be the case....I feel sorry for your kids.

 

I would suggest then that you send your child to play with a kid who likes using Eyes for Target practice. Let them get the sharp end in the eye....and leave you to discipline the pencil thrower....and see how "no no" is going to be your chosen method....

She beat me with a switch for ten minutes, leaving many welts and drawing blood.

This was not an uncommon level of spanking in my childhood, and I've heard similar stories from other people. This is what I see as spanking -

...and that I would call Abuse.

 

A swat on the rear in Anger from the parent...is incorrect.

As Discipline, it is coldly dealt with. Not in anger.

 

Therein lies the fundamental difference. Something which several here have not the objectivity to handle.

I think that people may be talking about different things (or at least, different levels of things) when they discuss spanking.

Agreed.

I just don't think it's acceptable to slap anyone... especially if you do it so hard that it leave a mark for several minutes. That's cruel and humiliating.

Insolence is a slappable offense in my books. The Kids KNOW better, but CHOOSE to act otherwise. There is no warning given. It is not tolerated. The offense virtually never occurs twice with the same child.

 

Others may choose to be more lenient. I do not.

LOL....and they wonder why I have soo few behavioral problems with my kids...proper behavior is a Demand not a request.

[CaptainPlanet]

Wouldn't it depend mostly on the kid ?

 

Some boys only respect strength and the only thing they would respond to is a good hiding.

 

This whole non slapping thing just seems like it is being enforced onto society because of the view of one group of people for whom it works well.

 

I hate to say it but the children of lower working class people, the boys especially they don't care if they did the wrong thing. While richer people tend to have better heeled children, ask any teacher teaching private versus public schools.

[rocio]

LOL....and they wonder why I have soo few behavioral problems with my kids...proper behavior is a Demand not a request.

 

Actually, it sounds like you're running a circus.

 

And to answer your question - if it were my child coming home with bruises, I would take her out of that school and send her to a school where the teachers had the training and patience to deal with children.

[rocio]

I hate to say it but the children of lower working class people, the boys especially they don't care if they did the wrong thing. While richer people tend to have better heeled children, ask any teacher teaching private versus public schools.

 

That sounds very elitist. Right now, I'm living in an apartment building with.. ok, poor people. I'm not even sure if we can call them working class, since half of them seem to be on social assistance. And I've never in my life seen such darling childern. The young boys in my building hold doors open for me, strike up the sweetest conversations in the elevators... Whereas the rich kids I've known have tended to behave like spoiled little monsters. I dunno, that's just my experience.

[Enigmatika]

And to answer your question - if it were my child coming home with bruises, I would take her out of that school and send her to a school where the teachers had the training and patience to deal with children.

You didn't answer the question of the Discipline. In fact you side stepped it. Why is that? The bruise was inflicted by another CHILD...not the teacher...LOL...big difference. Are you going to hold the teacher responsible for a child's actions? And just exactly how do you do that when they are FREE individuals? Precisely HOW? ONE out of say 30 in a class? ....LOL....TRY IT!!!! ...see how far you get....but that's after Becky is BLIND In one eye...

and people wonder WHY there is such a high burnout ratio amongst American teachers?..

 

"Circus"....LOL...hardly. There is ORDER.

The Gong Show going on for "educmacashun" on your end of the planet...Security guards and the like at schools!! Completely unheard of here.

 

2X in ten years....1 spanking. 1 Slap....and that was with the MONSTER children....lol

 

Neither of which you could ever hope to "deal" with....as has been evidenced by your lack of response on all scenarios. You can't "deal" with anything when you are "pulling" kiddies out...doesn't work that way. That is RUNNING from the problem...not Dealing with it NOR solving it.

 

You are NOT thinking of anyone but yourSELF....what of the child with that Behavioral problem??? How do YOU intend to set him on a path of less destruction? That is the QUESTION....not where you run away with your kid....

[rocio]

You didn't answer the question of the Discipline. In fact you side stepped it.

 

There are countless methods of discipline that are effective. I don't feel the need to list them here, but if you are unaware that other options are available to you, then perhaps you should attend a class or read some books on the topic.

 

 

Are you going to hold the teacher responsible for a child's actions?

 

No, I am going to hold the teacher responsible for her own actions. A child cannot force you to resort to violence. That is a choice that you make as an adult.

 

 

 

The Gong Show going on for "educmacashun" on your end of the planet...Security guards and the like at schools!! Completely unheard of here.

 

Where are you, by the way? I had been getting the impression that this wasn't happening in North America, just didn't want to mention anything.

[Enigmatika]

There are countless methods of discipline that are effective. I don't feel the need to list them here, but if you are unaware that other options are available to you, then perhaps you should attend a class or read some books on the topic.

Because you can't.

I know them, better than you can imagine...and a few others you don't know of nor would approve of.

 

No, I am going to hold the teacher responsible for her own actions. A child cannot force you to resort to violence. That is a choice that you make as an adult.

You make the assumption that corporal punishment is done in the "heat" of the moment. It is not. It is methodical. When ALL other options have proven ineffective.

 

It takes only ONCE to BLIND a child for Life. I will NOT have that on my conscience because I did not use the appropriate form of discipline to end the reckless behavior.

Keep in mind:

1. Kids KNOW the rules.

2. They've had Time Out...not effective.

3. They have been "reemed" out...but useless as well.

4. Parents have been asked to intervene...equally useless...as they "promise" all at home and do Other in school...

5. Then I swat him the next time they get out of line...as all else has proven NOT to be a deterrent...the "consequences" of their Actions did NOT register with the gray matter. For some strange reason...when the Butt gets smacked the Gray Matter tingles with the realization...that they better STOP that...or it might happen again....They don't really enjoy that..

Where are you, by the way? I had been getting the impression that this wasn't happening in North America, just didn't want to mention anything.

Asia. It is Expected that children are to be hit for not handing in homework....for heaven sakes!!!! I prefer blackmail...lol...no hitting. Not my thing. For kids with behavioral problems that affect the safety of others....they know the consequences and that keeps them very much in line.

 

You don't have to LIKE it...but it works. It is NOT necessary for ALL kids. Never suggested that it was...but for SOME.

 

IF mummy and daddy have given me the Green Light to use corporal punishment I have never had to ask...lol...they TELL ME ...go ahead and smack/ hit her/ him if necessary... 2X in 10 years....I don't abuse. If you think that is the case...you're most welcome to think so. Albeit you would be dead wrong.

 

Besides....don't tell ME to read books....the question remains: What would YOU do?

the current results in the American edumashmalz is proof enough there are SERIOUS problems...and hands are tied...sad. Graffiti, vandalism, violence against students and teachers including deaths....it quite frankly sucks rocks...but you're proud of it...so have at it...must be "working" for someone somewhere...

 

..there's a problem somewhere....and it must be starting at home...

It only takes ONE....to make it really bad for the rest..

[rocio]

and a few others you don't know of nor would approve of.

 

.....

 

 

It is Expected that children are to be hit for not handing in homework....for heaven sakes!!!! I prefer blackmail...lol

 

Ok, you're starting to scare me. It's really none of my business what you do with your students. The parent and administration at your institution seem to support it so what can I say? This thread has just made me very thankful for the upbringing I had and the upbringing my daughter will have.

 

 

the current results in the American edumashmalz is proof enough there are SERIOUS problems...and hands are tied...sad. Graffiti, vandalism, violence against students and teachers including deaths....it quite frankly sucks rocks...but you're proud of it...so have at it...must be "working" for someone somewhere...

 

Look, I'm not even in the U.S. so there's no need to turn this into an America-bashing thread.

[CaptainPlanet]

That sounds very elitist. Right now, I'm living in an apartment building with.. ok, poor people. I'm not even sure if we can call them working class, since half of them seem to be on social assistance. And I've never in my life seen such darling childern. The young boys in my building hold doors open for me, strike up the sweetest conversations in the elevators... Whereas the rich kids I've known have tended to behave like spoiled little monsters. I dunno, that's just my experience.

 

Thats different as we don't really have poor people in Australia relative to anything you would see in the United States or Canada. Our welfare pays at a higher rate than the fulltime American minimum wage, up until very recently and in some US states I think it still does.

 

My comment was more directed towards what the kids are like in school, it may sound elitist, but its really not, its a reality. Poor kids do perform much worse in school there is no point in denying it for the sake of political correctness.

 

I can think of a few kids I went to school with where the problems were ones from home that they were taking back to school. They needed to be belted to be kept in line and as a result ran rampant, really gaining no benefit then or in latter years. An utter waste of government money.

 

I am referring to under 12 year olds as children.

 

edit : I didn't explain that well, what I am trying to say is that the temperament of children will vary meaning some need a belting and others don't. Where those children are likely to come from probably is not very important.

[Enigmatika]

Look, I'm not even in the U.S. so there's no need to turn this into an America-bashing thread.

Not my intention...only one of example.

Poor kids do perform much worse in school there is no point in denying it for the sake of political correctness.

Some of the rich kids here are Sent away for precisely such discipline as the public system can't deal with them....LOL

They needed to be belted to be kept in line and as a result ran rampant, really gaining no benefit then or in latter years. An utter waste of government money.

 

Agreed about the waste of money....it stretches farther than the schooling.

*shrugs*

Abuse and Discipline are not even remotely related. If people choose to confuse the matter...that is their short sightedness. When kids are having troubles on the home front it most often rears it's ugly head in school making life hell for the others.

 

When the safety and well being of the other children is at stake because of the willful and dangerous defiance of one...that one will be dealt with accordingly to the benefit of all. If parents can't teach their brat common decency at home....they will damn well have learned and memorized the concept verbatim before they leave me.

 

Oddly enough...that's not my JOB...that's the parents dropping the ball. If they can't do it or won't do it...because of erroneous concepts of discipline...not my problem. I won't deal with their brats with such a namby pamby attitude. I don't have to.

EDIT didn't explain that well, what I am trying to say is that the temperament of children will vary meaning some need a belting and others don't.

Agreed.

[mrmaximum]

Wouldn't it depend mostly on the kid ?

 

Some boys only respect strength and the only thing they would respond to is a good hiding.

 

This whole non slapping thing just seems like it is being enforced onto society because of the view of one group of people for whom it works well.

 

One school of thought doesn't apply to everyone, we all know that this is the case when so many other topics but some seem to be stuck in a rut when it comes to this. "If you have to resort to spanking, then you haven't looked hard enough for an alternative". Are their people who like Melrich said have no patience for this and resort to spanking before anything else? Yup, you know it. However, there are some people out there who will never spank their children and all they use are these "Wonderful" techniques. Funny, if they are so wonderful and they work so well, then why are their so many badly behaved children in society? Are their other cultural actrions at work, of course, we can't blame the current situaition on one thing alone, however, I do believe it plays a part.

 

Everywhere you look in life you will see different apporaches working for different people, from engineering to glass blowing. Different people will do different things because it works for them. Yet, I'm supposed to believe that we can talk down an irrational person ALL the time? If we resort to violence, we have't done our jobs! is the mantra that keeps getting repeated but no one seems to have anything to say when we ask; "What happens when your techniques fail?" Silence!! You can always give someone something to try, but that's just it, it has to be something that you TRY, who knows if it will work or not. Just because you've never had to slap someone in your school, Daycare, home in New Jersey, does that mean that it will work on my people here in Ontario?

 

I don't know your kids, you also don't know mine. Painting with such broad strokes without noticing the shades of Grey will only lead to issues. I'd be lying if I said that I wish everyone spanked because if that happened then none of these alternatives would be looked at or researched so this attitude is a boon to child rearing. But to say that they will work 100% of the time?

[AwdreeHpburn]

May SOUND elitist but its mostly true.... l

 

 

"Children in homes full of books and educational games are less likely to get spanked, new research shows.

 

Recent studies have found that corporal punishment can cause significant antisocial behavioral, such as lying, cheating, and hitting, in children as they grow older."

 

and here's the link with the fuller story to the above statement:

link removed

 

 

There are tons of studies about the lasting affects of spanking.....

 

(from the AP) -- New research by a University of New Hampshire domestic abuse expert says spanking children affects their sex lives as adults. Professor Murray Straus concludes that children who are spanked are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, to have unprotected sex and to have masochistic sex.

 

Here's a fuller article on same topic.

link removed

[rocio]

(from the AP) -- New research by a University of New Hampshire domestic abuse expert says spanking children affects their sex lives as adults. Professor Murray Straus concludes that children who are spanked are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, to have unprotected sex and to have masochistic sex.

 

Here's a fuller article on same topic.

link removed

 

That's very interesting! Thanks for sharing.

[Gracelove]

Thanks Guys!!! Thank you sooo much for your replies!!!!

 

I haven't finished reading them yet, but I'm almost through.

 

I totally appreciate what each of you have offered.

 

When I was spanked as a child, it was never for doing anything really bad. I would get spanked for not picking up my socks after being told the 3rd time, for jumping on the bed, etc (3 was the limit, when being told to do something, in the house).

 

But it definitely made me a really good child. I was a goodie-two-shoe and did what my parents wanted me to do.

 

On the other hand, it did stress me out a lot. Like, if I thought I'd have a spanking coming my way I'd get really petrified and feel really sick.

 

And in some ways it made me fearful of becoming my own person. Because my mom was the disciplinarian in our household. So I grew up believing I had to do whatever she wanted.

And when I was of age, and trying to become my own person, it was a difficult thing to do.

 

Also, I think that is why, in part, I was drawn to men who were controlling in relationships, because I was used to being controlled.

 

But still, I think that spanking alone can be a really good thing. In our home belts were used, but other children I knew were beat by extension cords, which I think is abuse.

 

And when I was young, I recall my mother beating my older brother with a rope once. Now I think that was pretty wrong, but I never saw her do it again.

 

I think a lot of you are right. It depends on how drastic the behavior was (committed by the child), and how much the parent can control themselves.

 

I don't think it's something parents' should do if they are upset and just want to vent anger.

 

I mean, a slap on the hand, for a young child, is very appropriate I believe.

 

But when it comes to the whole spanking thing, it does seem like a fine line to walk.

 

Oh my gosh, this totally reminded me of something.

 

I went to church with my ex one Sunday, and his preacher talked about beating his child, a toddler!!!

 

The preacher said he left a steak knife on the counter, and that when he walked out of the room his 2 year old grabbed it.

 

He said his 2 year old, poked holes in the couch with the knife. The preacher said he beat his 2 year old son so badly, that 'til this day (the child is 6 or 7 now), his boy won't touch a knife.

 

Now that to me, is disgusting. Especially since this person was supposed to be a man of God. He had no remorse. He was laughing about beating his child, and telling the whole congregation about it.

 

I think that is unacceptable.

 

Instead of thanking God that his 2-year old didn't poke out his own eye (or worse), he beats the child for something that is his fault.

 

Stories like that are disturbing to me, and it kind of makes me question the whole thing.

[Gracelove]

Of course they can. They can see it in your eyes and sense it through your touch. Your children know you better than anyone else in the world and can easily tell whether your actions are based on anger or love.

 

Wellll, I hate to disagree with you. But when my mother was spanking me with her belt, I certainly didn't feel like she loved me. I felt that she was pissed.

And at a young age, I felt that she didn't love me when she was doing that.

 

Of course you get older and you can see, that in general, many mothers want their children to be perfect.

 

But as a child, when my mother was spanking me, I wasn't feeling the love.

[m12988]

Wellll, I hate to disagree with you. But when my mother was spanking me with her belt, I certainly didn't feel like she loved me. I felt that she was pissed.

And at a young age, I felt that she didn't love me when she was doing that.

 

Of course you get older and you can see, that in general, many mothers want their children to be perfect.

 

But as a child, when my mother was spanking me, I wasn't feeling the love.

 

Oh no, that is the type of "spanking" that is terribly, terribly wrong. Even though parents may think they are doing that out of love, the truth is, they are using a weapon and it should be illegal. Spanking is only good when used with the parent's HAND and on the buttocks (and sometimes the hand, like if you have a 2 year old that insists on playing with the knobs on a stove).

 

Looking back, i can forgive my mom for spanking me. I know she did it out of love, she wanted to teach me right from wrong. My dad made the mistake sometimes of using a belt like your mom. I will never forgive nor forget that that happened.