Spanking children-Right or Wrong?

[Enigmatika]

Never, ever humiliate a child. It is not appropraite and can be very damaging to their esteem.

....so the little smart alec gets away with disrespecting their parents and other adults?

 

 

A little "talkie" about what a "no-no" it is to call another a "Fat Biatch" in front of others is better? Than said adult smacking little smart alec who Knows better than to do that? Then they are made to make a public apology for the crap behavior. they KNOW exactly what they are doing...LOL...kids aren't dumb..lol

 

...I beg to differ...LOL

 

Like I said previously....the most disgusting displays of poor and ignorant behavior to be found in the younger generation is found in North America....Your "methods" don't work.

[melrich]

Whether you choose to spank or otherwise is the individual parents choice. Either way you go, you should not humiliate the child. That is not appropriate for children.

[Enigmatika]

Surveys indicate that 70 to 90 percent of parents of preschoolers use spanking,[22] yet the incidence of physical child abuse in America is only about 5 percent. Statistically, the two practices are far apart. Furthermore, over the past decade reports of child abuse have steadily risen while approval for parental spanking has steadily declined.[23]

 

More than 70 percent of primary care pediatricians reject the idea that spanking sets the stage for parents to engage in forms of physical abuse.[24]

 

Teaching parents appropriate spanking may actually reduce child abuse, according to Larzelere, in his 1994 review article on corporal punishment.[25] Parents who are ill-equipped to control their child's behavior, or who take a more permissive approach (refusing to use spanking), may be more prone to anger[26] and explosive attacks on their child.[27]

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Argument #11: Spanking is never necessary.

 

Counterpoint: All children need a combination of encouragement and correction as they are disciplined to become socially responsible individuals. In order for correction to deter disobedient behavior, the consequence imposed upon the child must outweigh the pleasure of the disobedient act. For very compliant children, milder forms of correction will suffice and spanking may never be necessary. For more defiant children who refuse to comply with or be persuaded by milder consequences such as time-out, spanking is useful, effective, and appropriate.

 

 

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^^This particular group are the modern young Americans....and it's really a rather dismal view...

humiliation

 

n.

1. The act of humiliating; degradation.

2. The state of being humiliated or disgraced; shame.

3. A humiliating condition or circumstance.

A person's actions/ behaviors are their Responsibility. If they do not wish to be "shamed" do not act in a shameful manner.

Crime and consequence.

 

....public humiliation is all the rage in the US media as it is...

 

Each child is different...for some it is never necessary...for others it is... extremely effective.

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Very strange American teen behavior....how prevalent is it really? What do you suppose the roots of it are?

[rocio]

I agree that children should not be humiliated.

 

I don't think I'll use spankings for discipline. But I think you have to be flexible in deciding what is right for your child.

 

There are many different methods of punishment that can be effective. What is more important is that they are always carried out based on love instead of anger, that there is consistency, and that the child is able to keep his or her dignity in tact.

 

I didn't think I would use physical punishment on my daughter but there have already been times when it was necessary for me to show her that biting and slapping hurt.

[CaptainPlanet]

Never, ever humiliate a child. It is not appropraite and can be very damaging to their esteem.

 

Wouldn't it be good practice for adulthood ?

[melrich]

Wouldn't it be good practice for adulthood ?

 

In what way?

 

Children have very fragile self esteem. How could it possibly to help a child to potentially damage their self esteem?

[CaptainPlanet]

In what way?

 

Children have very fragile self esteem. How could it possibly to help a child to potentially damage their self esteem?

 

Many reasons, for one it teaches the child what is humiliation making them less likely to want to do it to another child and I suppose tougher towards the various humiliations he or she may encounter in adult life, to a lesser extent.If taken from early childhood shows a kid that humilating another person is bad.

 

My school (in highschool maybe OT) was a joke and full of untouchable children that made schooling near impossible for the kids that actually wanted to be there and the teachers that wanted to teach.

 

If those kids could be brought out infront of assembly and belted on the backside I am sure their behaviour would have curved very quickly.

 

Bullying for instance, if a child knows he can be humiliated infront of the class he might think twice before doing something nasty to another child. Actions from peers can have more reaching consequences than from a teacher and thats an injustice that is largely ingorned in schools, as there is no way for a teacher to combat it.

 

My Mum has been a childcare assistant for over 20 years and she says that when a baby bites, the best way to stop it biting is to bite it right back

[sophie274]

Different cultures deal differently with defiance....but one thing I will say, a most disgusting behavior to be viewed in the world is to be found in the US and Canada. Never seen anything like it and am rather glad I don't have to put up with that crap here.

 

What do you mean by this? What is the "the most disgusting behavior"?

[sophie274]

My Mum has been a childcare assistant for over 20 years and she says that when a baby bites, the best way to stop it biting is to bite it right back

 

Biting a baby?! Gosh I can't imagine physically harming a child that young, who cannot possibly know right from wrong. It's just a baby!

 

As for humiliation, I think there is a difference between making a child feel ashamed of his behavior and humiliating the child.

 

I don't know how my parents did it, but my mother would just give me look when I was misbehaving and by god I would stop what I was doing! She never yelled or hit me, but I did not want her to be angry at me!

[melrich]

My school (in highschool maybe OT) was a joke and full of untouchable children

 

Yes I am assuming we are not talking about teenagers here.

 

for one it teaches the child what is humiliation making them less likely to want to do it to another child

 

At the ages I am assuming we are talking about (4-8 ) they do not have empathy. The most obvious things kids this age do is mimic. If you hit a child when they are acting up, the most likely result is they will hit when they feel someone else is acting up.

 

Humiliation is a very strong word and maybe what we mean by that needs to be defined. But no one should be put in a position where their dignity is stripped, adult or child. Doing it to a child does not teach them not to do it to others, it teaches them to feel stupid, to feel worthless.

 

My Mum has been a childcare assistant for over 20 years and she says that when a baby bites, the best way to stop it biting is to bite it right back

 

That is a seriously ridiculous concept, though sadly I have heard it before. Google "bite the child back" and see if you can see one credible source that says this is a good idea. You will hit thousands of pages telling you not to do this.

[Aleadragonhawk]

I think that spanking is a bad idea for some of the reasons already brought up - it can lead to or be caused by a parent losing control. A child is only going to be spanked when he or she has misbehaved, and the parent will usually be at least somewhat upset at that behavior. An upset adult administering physical punishment to someone much smaller and weaker person seems like a bad idea.

 

I'm not saying that parents are incapable of staying in control while spanking their children, but I have seen it get out of control before and have been on the receiving side of it. To me, spanking is just asking for trouble.

[Sky_Ronin]

You don't need to discipline a child by using violence at all. Words are enough in my opinion.

[darkblue]

I have to completely agree with Melrich.

 

A child can be hugely damaged by humiliation. Children have a fragile self-esteem and humiliating a child as a way of punishment will lead inevitably lead to that child growing up with confidence and self-esteem problems.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

 

 

However I don't think I want to spank my children. But then I kind of wonder if they'll be bad children, without being disciplined in that manner.

 

 

One thing you will learn when you have children the things you say you will never do, you usually end up doing anyway.

 

With that said, I spank my son ONLY when other forms of punishment don't work (Warning, Timeout and taking things away) even then most time they don't even phase him.

If a parent chooses to give their child a smack on the bottom with their hand it's their choice because it's their child. When I spank my son I NEVER do it out of anger, if i'm extremely mad or upset about something I will walk away until I can calmly talk to him about it. That's one of the biggest mistakes parents make, they spank out of anger.

 

As for biting a child, I think that's a bit much? Thankfully my son was never a biter but I could never even think about biting him back even if he was.

[rocio]

I was told by pretty much everyone to bite my baby back when she bit my nipple. Honestly, it was either that or stop nursing because she was doing it alot and hard. It wasn't for punishment, but rather to show her how it felt. Of course, I didn't do it hard enough to cause pain but it was enough to get her to stop.

 

I think that's very different from biting to cause pain or humiliation.

[shopgirl]

They had a show on Dr. Phil the other day, entitled "Spanking Scandels".

 

What do you guys think about spanking children? Do you think it's healthy, or only hurtful?

 

I was spanked as a child growing up, it is quite common in households of my ethnicity.

 

I don't think my parents did anything wrong, I don't feel I was at all abused.

 

However I don't think I want to spank my children. But then I kind of wonder if they'll be bad children, without being disciplined in that manner.

 

What do you guys think of the issue?

 

I don't see a problem with spanking your own child. However, there's a big difference between spanking and abusing. A spanking should be a swat on the behind or a smack on the hand, followed by "no-no". Abuse on the other hand gets out of hand. Parents might smack a child really hard in the face nearly punch them on the leg and so much more. A lot of times, parents spank their kids and don't realize that it is in fact abuse, that's why I think if you're going to discipline your child you should also use timeout chairs and corners to assist you with yelling and lightly spanking your child.

[shopgirl]

I also wanted to add that if your child is bad and doesn't listen, it doesn't mean that you are not "hitting" them hard enough or NOT spanking them at all--it just means that you are not being consistent with you discipline.

[eurocar]

I was told by pretty much everyone to bite my baby back when she bit my nipple. Honestly, it was either that or stop nursing because she was doing it alot and hard. It wasn't for punishment, but rather to show her how it felt. Of course, I didn't do it hard enough to cause pain but it was enough to get her to stop.

 

I think that's very different from biting to cause pain or humiliation.

 

Random and rather gruesome thought: I wonder if a baby has ever bitten off its mother's nipple?

[AwdreeHpburn]

I think hitting a child is cowardly and a tool for the non-thinker.

 

If one is so angry, frustrated or quick-tempered that they can think of no other means for discipline than hitting, the world is in a much worse state than I thought......

 

I can't believe there are soooo many people who see nothing wrong with hitting kids. Or that when done properly, striking a little kid is ok. I suppose kicking dogs can sometimes do them good too?

 

How bout if teachers at school spank? Would that be OK? I mean, if hitting kids is a good disciplinary tactic, maybe other authority figures should be hitting our kids too. Well - now that I think of it, why stop there? If it works it works, yeh? Why not carry it on into the adult world? Maybe we should start smacking un-co-operative co-workers? Or un-ruly subordinates? What about that?

[Enigmatika]

If one is so angry, frustrated or quick-tempered that they can think of no other means for discipline than hitting, the world is in a much worse state than I thought......

Welcome to reality....read your local news lately?

I can't believe there are soooo many people who see nothing wrong with hitting kids. Or that when done properly, striking a little kid is ok. I suppose kicking dogs can sometimes do them good too?

Works with the dogs too.

How bout if teachers at school spank? Would that be OK?

Of course. A rod over the out stretched palm works rather well.

I mean, if hitting kids is a good disciplinary tactic, maybe other authority figures should be hitting our kids too.

With signed consent? Why not? Obviously the "superior" parenting skills aren't working...

Well - now that I think of it, why stop there? If it works it works, yeh? Why not carry it on into the adult world? Maybe we should start smacking un-co-operative co-workers? Or un-ruly subordinates? What about that?

Goodness...the lost grip on reality is beginning to shine through.

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Abuse and Discipline are not to be confused...is that concept so difficult to assimilate?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hitting IS abuse. Hitting for discipline is still hitting.

 

Lucky kids you have (or will have) that there's a difference in your mind. Good for you for being able to separate the two. But you're a grown up, presumably..... at least chronologically....

 

You expect a kid who gets hit as a disciplinary means to grow up knowing the difference? Or will he maybe... oh, I dunno, .... grow up and become the guy in one of your news stories? The guy who punches a co-worker in the face cos he has no other coping tools.

 

Do kids who aren't spanked grow up and do bad things? Umm.. Yes.

Do kids who are spanked grow up and do bad things? Yes.

Do kids who are abused grow up and do bad things? Yes.

 

So - since there's no difference in the styles, if hitting produces the same results as not hitting or the same as violently abusing, why choose the hitting one? Just.... why? Cos ya get so frustrated at the child you have no other recourse than to vent your anger physically?

 

Along those lines, the abuser has just as much right to burn the child as you do to spank. I mean, his is just a form of discipline that yields the same results. His kids will grow up. And some will be productive members of society and some will not.

 

The parents who spank will raise kids, some of whom will be productive and others not.

 

The parents who don't spank or burn will produce productive as well as un-productive members of society too.

 

So where's the logic to hitting as a means of discipline when other things, worse or not as bad, will have the same results?

[Enigmatika]

You expect a kid who gets hit as a disciplinary means to grow up knowing the difference?

You DID read this thread I take it? Chronological age and comprehension are yet other radically different fruits..LOL

So - since there's no difference in the styles, if hitting produces the same results as not hitting or the same as violently abusing, why choose the hitting one?

Apparently you remain unaware how flawed the logic is in that statement...

 

For example: Bubbles is racing around screaming his fool head off hitting others. You have told him to STOP. You have demanded that he stop. Bubbles ignores you and throws a toy car at Snickles....Bubbles thinks it's funny and now teases Snickles and continues shoving and pushing....You are standing there watching Snickles cry and Bubbles is roaring with laughter...LOL ...continuing to ignore you and race and slam into others. He is now "informed" that he will receive a " time out"...LOL....but Bubbles doesn't care...he grabs Snickles by the arm and pinches him in the neck....Awwwwwww.....now Snickles is so upset and angry and crying he starts hitting back at Bubbles....

 

 

What would you do?

 

Keep in mind....with your current logic...you can't lay a finger on Bubbles, not even to restrain him...that's "Abuse"....what are you going to tell Snickles mommy about the blue bruise forming on his neck?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Are you kidding?

 

You're joking right?

 

Are you saying removing a child from a situation, even if you have to carry him away, is the same as spanking him?

 

I searched my posts. I couldn't find where I said touching a child with even one finger is abusive. I think I said HITTING is abuse and spanking is hitting.

 

Look - If you wanna hit your kids for hitting other kids to show them that hitting is unacceptable, have at it.

 

...but yeh, I'm the one with flawed logic....

[darkblue]

I just don't understand how it can be socially accepted to spank/hit a child.

 

If I had friends over at my home, and one of them spilled a drink - would it be socially acceptable to spank that person? No.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Are you kidding?

 

You're joking right?

 

Are you saying removing a child from a situation, even if you have to carry him away, is the same as spanking him?

 

I searched my posts. I couldn't find where I said touching a child with even one finger is abusive. I think I said HITTING is abuse and spanking is hitting.

 

Look - If you wanna hit your kids for hitting other kids to show them that hitting is unacceptable, have at it.

 

...but yeh, I'm the one with flawed logic....

 

 

There is a difference between a tap on the hand or behind than beating a child. Sorry you view it so differently but there are times when NOTHING else works, so what am I supposed to do? Allow my son to get away with stuff because you think something is wrong? I don't think so. I NEVER spank my son to show him that hitting is wrong, I only spank when he does something that could injure himself or others (For example, I lost my grip and he took off from me at a park and headed into a busy street), what was I supposed to do? I talked to him the first time, the second time he got a nice firm pop on his behind.

 

My son goes to a private school where the have a consent form for corporal punishment. I don't believe anyone else has the right to use physical punishment on someone else's children however, if a person thinks a good tap on the bottom is what their child needs who is to judge? There is a huge difference between a tap on the butt that doesn't even hurt the child and a smack accross the face or hitting them with some foreign objects that leave bruises and marks.