Spanking children-Right or Wrong?

[rocio]

to some people that defeats the whole purpose of breastfeeding and/or some people can't pump.

 

Many of the benefits of nursing come not just from the milk itself, but from the bonding experience.

 

Anyway, I understand what this guy is saying. I also think it would be horrible for a mother to bite her baby hard out of anger or for punishment. I didn't explain the situation correctly. I only did it to show her what she was doing, to teach her, and I did it softly - she didn't cry or even flinch. I think people are misunderstanding the situation given the context of this thread, which is punishment. I simply stated that incident to show that I would "never say never". I might say I would never lay a hand on my kiid but there are always exceptions.

[Sky_Ronin]

You do have a point there under_my_amberella.

[RockabillyLove]

I know that when my mother in law was bitten by my fiance {this was 20 years ago, note}, she bit him back on the same place he bit her.

When our daughter started biting, I took my mother in law's advice and told her "This is how you made Mummy cry" {whilst pretending to sob in pain} gently bit her back, and she hated it so much that she hasn't done it since. She cried for about half an hour afterwards because for some reason the sight of another person crying really sets her off....she can't stand it.

[misdirection]

Spanking children is ok, imo. It teaches them punishment.

 

HOWEVER, it has to be done right. You have to give the child a warning.

And if he breaks it, you may spank him/her. You must let the child know why he is being spanked so he learns from it. And don't spank him hard! Just enough so he feels pain, only a little bit.

 

I've seen parents who just hit their children when they are bad, out of frustration. What is the outcome of this? Nothing, except your child being hurt and confused.

[15 Storeys High]

There's a fine line between spanking and abuse and not everyone can toe that line. Spanking done in anger, frustration or any other negative emotion is bordering on abuse and anyone can fall prey to that. If you make the decision to spank a child then do it because you love them and want to teach them morality, respect and decency, not because they pissed you off. The motives behind spanking speak volumes about the parents as people.

[sidehop]

This thread seems to pop up every now and then.

 

There's absolutely no evidence of physical damage from spanking on the buttocks when done correctly. Of course we're talking punishment out of love and my understanding, it should be used in extreme cases or repeated offense.

 

I was spanked but I did push my parents to the edge. Sometimes I saw my mom cried which made the spanking feel even worse. It was a good thing. But would I try to push it to someone else? Nope. Just like religion everyone has their opinions.

 

And I do agree, spanking should not be used as a form of anger and used for every form of punishment without allowing the child to understand why he/she did something wrong.

[just M.E.]

As a mother and a grandmother, I believe a swat to the fanny every now and then when deserved is OK. A smack on that padded diaper fanny at two is a wake up to a toddler that Mom or Dad means business. I also believe in quiet children in restaurants, no screaming children in stores, etc.

 

Defining boundaries for children help them learn self discipline.

 

A spanking is not beating or hitting, it is done differently and it is used sparingly. Spankings are given after a warning. The old "take a child out back of the wood shed" is not the same as a spanking. If it needs to be used excessively, the child does not respect their parent, there is a lot more wrong in that situation.

 

p.s. I was spanked, but not very often, the mere threat of it sent me scurrying to do as I was told. It wasn't threat of the spanking so much as the fact I had made my parents that angry.

[CaptainPlanet]

As a mother and a grandmother, I believe a swat to the fanny every now and then when deserved is OK. A smack on that padded diaper fanny at two is a wake up to a toddler that Mom or Dad means business. I also believe in quiet children in restaurants, no screaming children in stores, etc.

 

 

I work in a hardware store and the number of children I see running around rampant in truly shameless. There are dangerous things in the store that the child could pick up and cause serious damage, not to mention that we move round some very heavy objects and it would not be difficult not notice a child. The other day a little kid was playing on a drop saw in between four boxes the likely hood of something happening is low, but if it did could easily be fatal. Especially after 4pm when we start to move newly delivered stock around. The parents try to control them but the can't it would do them good to be able to smack those kids on the bottom to keep them under control.

[Hezzie]

I was spanked, with belts, ping pong paddles, wooden spatulas (really anything that was nearest at the time). It wasn't harmful to me. I didn't like getting spanked lol. But I think it's helped me a lot.

 

I spank both my children, My oldest one is 6 now, And I rarely have to spank him anymore. He knows "the voice" and "the look". My youngest however is smart, he's constantly testing his boundaries with me and watching what I do. And even though he cries for the first 15 seconds, shortly after he's doing the exact thing that caused the spanking testing to see what I'll do. Which now is resulting in time out's in the play pen and may I say..he really hates that.

 

When it comes to children, some children need a different form of punishment, for some children taking away the games and sucking all the fun out of life works just as well.

But for some it doesn't. Have you watched the super-nanny? Some of those kids really need to have a spanking..

 

My son pushed his little brother into the wall once, and got the spanking to remember for it.

It never happened again

 

Parents need to stop being best friends with their children and start playing the grown up game of parenthood and we'd be just fine.

[sidehop]

When it comes to children, some children need a different form of punishment, for some children taking away the games and sucking all the fun out of life works just as well.

But for some it doesn't. Have you watched the super-nanny? Some of those kids really need to have a spanking..

 

Well said! Spanking worked for me, some just need other form of punishment. Bottom line, the goal is for the parents' desire to children to behave properly and learn what's right from wrong.

 

And yes, Super Nanny is very entertaining and at the same time so frustrating to see how some parents let them get away with so much I'm not claiming to be the perfect parent but sometimes I wonder if some people should really consider having children

[sti_2004]

i didnt read this thread but..

 

spankings illegal in my country. its a retarded law that takes away a parents rights and freedoms.

 

theres a big difference between abuse (slaping your kid upside the head or worse) and spanking (smacking their butts, or light hand slap).

 

we NEED a little disipline..its a lesson learned in life, otherwise we will have a bunch of spoilt brats running around doing bad {language} being mean/ hateful toward innocent people and getting away with it like in rich towns.

[Hezzie]

 

theres a big difference between abuse (slaping your kid upside the head or worse) and spanking (smacking their butts, or light hand slap).

 

I completely agree, My oldest son learned quite early and very well from spankings. When he yells at me, or screams. I grab his chin in my hands and make him look at me, and I tell him if he continues to shout and scream He'll learn the taste of soap very quickly. As well as from cursing. Because he's old enough to know his behavior is unnecessary. When he pushes, pinches, and beats up on his little brother. He gets a spanking, depending on how hard he'll purposely hurt his brother depends on how hard a spanking he gets, and I will take him over my knee and spank his bare butt if it's necessary. My son began stealing toys from daycare and school. So my reaction was to spank him and send him into my room so I could "steal" his toys, hiding them under the sink for almost a week, he'd constantly cry for his toys so I made him sit in his room, on his bed and think about his stealing. I asked him how does it feel to know someone was rude and being very mean by stealing his toys like he was stealing. He said it made him feel mad and hurt. By the time I realized where all the toys were coming from he'd stolen an entire bag of toys O_O I was very upset with him.

 

And he's never done it again.

 

My youngest however, is very smart, and will continue the behavior even after a spanking to test my limits. Which are these new found results for bad behavior. When he starts screaming, I tap him underneath his chin. When he grabs for items he knows are off limits. I slap the palm of his hand. When he stomps around the house in a fi

t. I slap the underside of his foot. When his behavior continues he's put into his play pen to cry and yell if it pleases him. I usually let him cry himself to sleep. The majority of his bad behavior is done when he's tired and trying to fight sleep. And just because he's tired doesn't excuse his behavior

 

 

And yes, Super Nanny is very entertaining and at the same time so frustrating to see how some parents let them get away with so much I'm not claiming to be the perfect parent but sometimes I wonder if some people should really consider having children

 

LOL Oh I know!. The one show where the little girl kept biting EVERYONE even her parents and just smacking the hell out of them! and they just cried about it?. my son bit me, and ya know what I bit him back. Anything my son did to other's I did to him. He smacked a kid over the head so I smacked him over the head. I asked him how it felt. He said it hurt his feelings, I told him he was acting like a bully and that kids weren't going to want to play with him if he couldn't play nicely. I made sure he understood. And I like to think because of my methods. My son is a very respectful child, He has his typic tantrums that all children have. But he knows when he's in the wrong.

 

His teachers have told me he's the sweetest child in class. He's the only little boy who will give a toy to another younger child who's crying, He always hugs his classmates, and when one of them are sick. He always tells his teacher "it's ok they'll be back when they feel better". Or if there is a kid crying he'll give them a hug and tell them it's ok. He loves animals and is very kind to them, loves to help mommy and grandma cook, helps around the house. I like to think our understanding of each other and our talks. and yes even more forms of punishment have helped build him into this wonderful little man

 

He likes to sit down with me later in the evenings after his punishment to talk about why it happened and how he feels about it. And I explain to him exactly why he received the punishment he did.

 

There was this one child at the park last year, that was utterly rude!, stealing the other kids toy's. Pushing them around. And his parents just sat there and smiled!!. So when my son came crying up to me, I went over to that child and told him to please give my son back his toy, he told me I wasn't his mother he didn't have to listen to me. I told him again, "please give him back his toy." He kicked dirt at me!. And his parents were watching!.

 

So I went over to his parents and told them about what happened and they simply said "boys will be boys". So ya know what!

 

I told them if they didn't have the understanding as a parent to be the adult. I'd be more than happy to show them how it's done, and I'll even demonstrate on their son. I raised my hand and told them. "This is what you call an ass whooping for a rudely behaved kid, wanna watch?"

 

They freaked out, got the toy from their kid, gave it back to mine and I haven't seen that kid since lol

[segor56]

i was spanked once. I don't remember what I did. but, I always respected my father after that.

[PoisonIvy]

*Oh no Johhny, that was naughty beheading the kitten with the shovel, take some time out junior. Got to your room for a week*

 

I don't know if this was said already, but... I don't think any amount of spanking will solve the problems little Johnny has. He'd needy a shrinky.

 

edit: As for me on this issue, I don't have children yet, so I don't know what I would do in a given situation.