misdirection

i was doing a science course myself... same thing, for my parents. it made miserable, i took up smoking for a brief moment because of it. i never wanted to do work, i just procrastinated myself till the point of near failure. i always thought my parents would kill me if i failed. but one day my mum noticed i was miserable, and she asked me why. i didn't tell her. so she poked around and soon found out why, she helped me get into what i really wanted. now i'm doing a double degree course in psychology/arts. and my grades are much better since i am doing something i like, study has become a breeze. maybe, try something my friend did. write a letter to your parents, make it formal. like an essay. put in the disadvantages of you continuing your course, and how it will affect you. and then put in the advantages of pursuing what you want. ps: at my uni, philosophy needs a really really high grade to get into, i always thought it was a top career! As for a science degree getting you money, that is CRAP!!! well maybe not, but i've been to one, and i was not scared to asked what they earned. Research scientist are funded, and so don't earn much at all! the most was $70,000 aus. its just from my experience. good luck!

I went through a stage where i was in-denile of my sexuality. I was brought up without knowing "gay" was a possibility, until i was older. When i was 17 i started to get attracted to my friend of 5 years, i wasn't attracted to him before. So i started to get abit close to him, relying on him more, talking to him more, and having more fun with him. We became good friends, and he soon was responsive to my Dependant nature on him. When i had a headache in the car i would lean on his shoulders and he would let me. Eventually he would know and offer for me. He started to know when i was sad or moody and started to care more. He would make jokes to touch me, like do the whole "pretend" to be gay hug me, or look at me for long periods of time. But at this time, i didn't want to be gay, and i was not sure if he was. But i knew he cared for me deeply in some way. So i started ignoring him, and became more moody, however he was still strong in his response and continued to care for me, even thought i was being a monster. Soon i was disgusted at who i was, and what i was doing to him. So i did anything i could to... hate him, and forget him. It was a very very tough moment in my life, it was difficult to find the ugly things about someone you love Eventually, i did it, and forgot him. i left him without an explanation, he was dumbfounded, and i felt so bad. I could see his hurt, he was a friendly person and always polite, however he found it difficult to be friendly towards me. he hated me = ( I regret what i did, but back then i thought it was the right decision, i didn't want him to see who i was becoming. I've now realised i am gay, but i'm still very much closetted, i'm no longer attracted to him, and he seems to have moved on, however he hasn't dated any girl since then... now i've lost alot of friends and i'm very withdrawn, i don't mind. I think its karma for what i did to him. i;m not sure about my actions, was it the right thing to do? what should i have done? what should i do now?