Batya33 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Yes you're in love with the online image he chooses to portray. I don't watch too much TV, thanks for sharing that comment -- and I am not taking anything to extremes when I write again and again that there are several red flags and lots of shadiness here. I've lived in the real world and done far more dating of men I originally met through on line and done my homework constantly both on the individuals and keeping up with current authority and research on staying safe. You are breaking all the rules and the "because I love him" is foolish. Love yourself -- because right now you're prioritizing typing and talking and his on line image over your common sense and safety. And that's not loving yourself. And he knows it because all he has to do is feed you lines about why he's not sending you a pic and you "blindly" accept it. You say you learned from all the posters here but I am just not seeing it. for your sake, I hope this changes very soon. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Hey bebe, Please don't let what seem like neg. vibes shut you down to this online connection... It is only that people care & are afraid for you & so get a little frustrated in thinking something might happen to you. What an awful thought, to say the least... Thinking that maybe we all could help prevent a possible tragedy (not saying it is)... well, who among us would give up that easily of course. For the record, I've never watched any of those online predator shows... It's just that many of us are a lot older than you are & sometimes it takes more life experience to see these things... If you could just believe that -trust that. Your mom probably says it all the time!(smile) Just think of it as like how much more you know than a 10 year old for example, yet you can see in them that they think they know more than you or as much, can't you... It's just a natural part of the maturing cycle... If you really think about it for a moment, we'd all have no reason on here, to not want to see you happy & in love in life... No one would say a word but well wishes if we all didn't get this really bad feeling from so much secrecy on his part. And what are the odds of so many people all feeling the same thing? So you are going to meet him no matter what- fine. Why not just stay connected here... Let us know when you meet him & that you told your adult male friend that you are meeting him, etc... I for one would really like to stay updated with what is happening with that... Again, just know that what maybe seemed harsh to you by some was because of caring about you & your safety... Sometimes it just comes out that way.... Stay on the message board Link to comment
dqueen Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 LOL send him a camera or a webcam!!! Ok, in all seriousness, he may be comfortable giving out his mailing address to you BUT he is still afraid of showing his face. He is so comfortable hiding behind the computer screen and could care less if you wanted his mailing address. Link to comment
RayKay Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 If he is staying at a friends I do not see why he cannot give that address to you. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I would not be surprised at all if his parents house was really "him" (aka married and pretending to be their kid). Sorry bebe, I think you are being incredibly foolish and naive to keep passing off his reluctance to give you pictures as "not that important" and about his shyness. This has nothing to do at all with those online predator shows - I don't watch them, but it DOES have to do with experience with both online AND real life dating and with personal boundaries and red flags. There is absolutely NO reason whatsoever the guy cannot give you a picture or webcam with you after this amount of time. No reason whatsoever. You can justify it any way you want, as can he, but it all comes down to there is just no valid reason at all. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I am disturbed that he won't just give you *his* address. Why not? Bebe you are writing here because you sense something amiss. Why not be rigorously honest with yourself and let go of your fears about the outcome of that honesty? You know as well as anyone here that there's something wrong. I suggest you date. That will help you. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I am disturbed that he won't just give you *his* address. Why not? Bebe you are writing here because you sense something amiss. Why not be rigorously honest with yourself and let go of your fears about the outcome of that honesty? You know as well as anyone here that there's something wrong. I suggest you date. That will help you. Ohh, I've been waiting to say quote this phrase I read somewhere. Now is the perfect time. "Rather than assume the worst, it's often easier to believe a pleasant lie than to acknowledge a devestating truth" I just have another question....How do you know for sure that the address he is providing is his parents address? Maybe he is giving you an address of a mailbox that he is renting. You believe it's his parents address because he says so? Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 the picture/webcam issue is not a major deal, it's just him not being very comfortable with pictures. But thank you anyway. If you're still reading this, Bebe, did you ask him about a picture? Or tell him that you've told your mother about your relationship and that she wants to see some form of ID? If so, what did he say? Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 bebe, the problem has NOT been solved yet. You have to push him more to show himself to you. I strongly advise you not to dismiss it. You're almost there, if you stop now, he'll win and the next time you ask for something, he won't take it seriously! You teach people how to treat you. Don't you know you deserve better? Stop sacrificing yourself, you've given a lot of effort towards him already. Time is up. Since asking is not working, it is time for you to step up and tell him you must see how he looks like via webcam. He doesn't really care about your needs bebe. You care much more about him than he does about you. So starting now, you need to express your needs to him - that is of a webcam chat, and driver's liscense (um yeah, a must if you ask anyone). I think you are young and naive. I am too so don't worry. The relationship is not right and you know it. Don't ignore those feelings k? Usually, when you ignore those feelings, you end up getting burned, I know I did. G'luck to you to finally seeing him on the outside! Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I just want to know how things have played out? Link to comment
lila... Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 Hi everyone, just wanted to let you know that everything's going fine. No major issue or anything that would make me distrust him has come up. In fact he already gave me the address to his parent's house. And like he's told me, I have his cell, his emails, his address, I know how and where to locate him, and he's never stopped communicating with me. Oh, he hasn't shown himself yet, but it's not what you guys think. It's not because he's hiding something. But I guess he feels bad about it because he hasn't asked me to put my webcam either. I'm going to ask him for a picture today. I know that with pictures he can't make the excuse of "not having enough time" or it "not being compatible with his laptop", because he's sent me so many pictures already, but he's never in any of them. Like I said before I guess it's just an issue of insecurity and not feeling attractive enough. Link to comment
Portage Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 ^ Still no pic. This is the longest drawn out saga i've ever witnessed. War and Peace was a Readers Digest condensed story compared to this. P L E A S E get the pic, Bebe. I need water, I can't take the torture any more. Sigh. Link to comment
lila... Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 Hi Portage. I'm going to ask him for one today. I'll let you guys know. Link to comment
Portage Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 okay thx, i'll be waiting, and waiting, and waiting,,,, JK. I really do hope for your sake it goes down nicely. But the waiting is exasperating and so, hmmmm, well, let us know..... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 "I guess it's just an issue of insecurity" - so, have you sent anything to the address? How do you feel about meeting someone in person where you have to "guess" at the reasons why he refuses to show you a picture of himself? Obviously even if he tells you that's what the reason is, you don't trust it (I certainly wouldn't - it's completely silly, especially since he wants you to meet him in person, and then you'll see what he looks like - so why not let you see that in advance?) Link to comment
poojashanka Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I personally had a major problem with an Efriendship. I was very young about 16 when it happened. And even today, I almost every hour, I think of that guy or proving to him, how he underestimated me or missed the bus to a loving friendship with a very caring girl like me. I think of him so often and so vehemently that I don't think of my boyfriend that often too. Though I had met my boyfriend online only, and I do have a lot of other trusted friendships online. Be very careful, girl. If he shows any signs of just seeking some companionship through you, get over it please. I would never want another girl to go through the same sick experience because of some cheat. Link to comment
Portage Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Yes, i'm biting my nails, where is the pic. The pic, The pic, The pic. Is there ever going to be a pic? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Yes, i'm biting my nails, where is the pic. The pic, The pic, The pic. Is there ever going to be a pic? There is NEVER going to be a pic. Link to comment
Portage Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 There is NEVER going to be a pic. Listen MG, i need the pic more than BeBe. I've waited all these weeks. I'm putting my foot down for a pic. I want one NOW. *throws dishes and tantrum* Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Listen MG, i need the pic more than BeBe. I've waited all these weeks. I'm putting my foot down for a pic. I want one NOW. *throws dishes and tantrum* LOL.....maybe you should tell her boyfriend that you want a pic.....He might just give you one..... Because we all know that she isn't getting one. Link to comment
Portage Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 LOL.....maybe you should tell her boyfriend that you want a pic.....He might just give you one..... Because we all know that she isn't getting one. Bebe, what is your boyfriend's address? We are writing him. We will get that pic, i'm almost platinum so i MUST know what i'm talking about. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I can't believe there is still no picture either!!!! Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I can't believe there is still no picture either!!!! I can. Dude *knows* his craft. He's very skillful. Link to comment
Portage Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I would have flown to his turf by now to get a full blown look. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 there was some "describe your worst blind date" contest and here was one of the "winners." reminded me of bebe's scenario.... Link to comment
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