ang3l2004

I stare up at the stars wondering why you are not here, Tear drops hit the floor leaving a puddle I can't see clear. I remember the good times and the bad as you walk out of the door, I begin to think of why things happen like this my heart becomes sore. I miss everything about you and I feel so numb inside of my soul, You were the one who I thought would be here you made me feel whole. Now you are so angry with hate coming from your heart and your voice. You would rather drink alcohol and leave me in pain was your choice. I will never understand why this has made me feel so weak, It chokes up my words the pain is overbearing and I can't speak. You will always be the first person I think about in my day, Hoping that you will stop your addiction and come back to stay. Every tear that drops from my eyes I hope you can feel it in your dreams, So you know that my love was true and everything is not as it seems. Yeah a drink will cover up your pain and hurt that you have inside, I just want you to see that you are better then that and have pride. Stop drinking your life away and causing your body so much hurt, I dont want to see you end up hurting yourself leaving you under dirt.

I'm fine sweetie just doing the poem thing like I use to you know to vent and all I missed talking to ya today!!!!

So you tell me that you love me and you tell me that you care, But there is no communication you just look at me and stare. You tell me that you will change and that you will not lie, That you dont want to see me hurting and dont want to see me cry. You know how your health is but you do it before you think, You think it's fun because you are young so you have another drink. I think about the times that we have shared with one another, I am trying to be a friend for you not trying to be your mother. Inside you know right from wrong yet you dont care about you, Drinking covers up your feelings even when you are down and blue. I try and try to help you and my feelings are getting hurt, When you are drunk and having your fun you are treating me like dirt. You dont know what you have until it's gone out of your life. But everytime you change into a diffrent person you cut my heart with your knife. You tell me I should trust you and believe everything that you say, But you have lied to me more then once and it does not work that way. So tell me once that all this trust is gone what are we supose to do, All I know is that I am willing to try to help and recover you. But I wont stand around and wait for you to be done with hurting me, Open your eyes or me and you will no longer be...

Hello, I have been taking Lexapro for about 2 weeks now and I am starting to feel alot better then I did 2 weeks ago when I felt like I was having a panic attack emotional breakdown. I am now feeling better but at the same time im so worried of doing thing's I did before because I am afraid I will have more panic attacks and I simply dont want to have to go through that again is this normal? I dont worry and think of the same thing's over and over and simply drive myself insane lately which is a good thing but still have that worry in the back of my mind of not doing this or that because it will cause one. I know that I have never been on medication for my depression and anxiety and it takes awhile to get use to but even though everyone is telling me this will help me I wanted to come here and get the advice from people have been or is on Lexapro? My boyfriend tells me that he has seen improvement from the medicine that I dont seem down as much and I dont feel down as much just that fear of what this whole post is about! I ended up in the hospital 2 weeks ago afraid panicking and crying and my doctor wanted to admit me because everyone was so worried but it was a breakdown and I think I was getting use to the medication since at that point I was only on them for 5 days now it's been almost 2 weeks and I dont feel as bad as I did but just wanted some advice from others thanks in advance

Depression and anxiety can take over your life, Makes you feel hurt like the pain from a knife. Remembering the times you enjoyed who you were, Panic attacks then take over and it all begins to blur. You go to the doctors to here that you are depressed, You have to stop worrying and making yourself stressed. The feeling of no control over anything that you do, Walking around with your head down and always being blue. 10 years later you still think about what happened as a child, Being beaten with a hand or being told you were to wild. As you get older you start talking to boys and going on dates, To try to make yourself whole and pretend that you are happy as mates. But then the boys begin to break into an already broken heart, It all starts over and it comes back from the start. All these thing's begin to lay inside of your heart and hurt, That all these ppl who were supose to love you treat you like dirt. Now that you have grown up and still think about all of this pain, All of these people that hurt you in life used you for there gain. Depression and panic from all these thing's hides you from the light, The doctor just tells you to take these pills and you will be alright. If I could go back in time and change everything that has happened to me I would tell all of the people around me that i am not the person they see.

Thankyou all so much for replying. It's just that now I have been on this medicine for 5 days as of today. Let me explain that yesterday I went to bed at 2 am and woke up very early forced myself to go back to sleep and slept till all the way until 6 pm and that's not good that's like 15 hours of sleep I feel if im awake I feel weird I feel like I have already lost myself and feel like im always going to have a panic attack and It's very hard for me to eat what do I do?

lexapro is used for both anxiety and panic attacks I have only been taking them for 4 days so I dont know how long it takes for them to work or to kick in but they make me sweat and make my mouth dry and make me just feel out of it my panic and anxiety is horrible and yes I guess u can say I am depressed too because anyone who cries out of no where for no reason and dont know why I would consider that depression how do u control panic attacks? How can u get ahold of yourself with having anxiety and panic??

I have been suffering with Anxiety and Panic attacks since I was 15 years old. Never on any medication for it because I tried so hard to never let it get to the point it would take over or I would tell myself everything would be ok. I am in my 20's now and I have them alllll the time and I worry and I get scared and now I am really scared because im afraid it' taking over me this time. I feel diff I act diff and I barely leave my house as well I just went to the doctors about this they put me on a Pill called Lexapro now I have been taking this for 4 days I know it takes time for the pills to kick in and for me to get use to them but when I take them I feel worse. My body gets shaky and I begin to feel hot and feel nautious and I dont know if that is my anxiety or not since I have them all the time now it's so hard to tell when and when it's not anxiety and panic and it scares me so bad. I really do believe it's taking over me because I have never felt this bad and this weird when it comes down to dealing with them can someone please help me and give me there opinion thanks in advance

Another thing that bothers me if u are curious about the lie was about some girl that he considers just a friend texts him all hours of the night hey baby! She moved away but he told me that he use to like her but didn't want to ruin there friendship but they talk to eachother as if it was me and him talking in that way and I find that disrespectful is it just me??

I do need some advice or opinions please.. I have been dating my boyfriend now for about 6 months. Things were going so good at first and now it has changed and I understand it always does after a certain period of time of getting to know someone. He is nice to me and treats me and stays with me alot.. Now here is the problem and im going to explain both sides so it is not just one sided. We argue alot now he has lied to me about thing's which he considers small lies but a lie is a lie which has called me to lose trust in him and become insecure about thing's and question him about how he really feels about it. We get along and next thing we are arguin. He also drinks not alot well I would say enough and he turns into a totaly diff person then if he was sober... He becomes rude to me and says thing's he dont even remember the next day I have told him many times about this and since he is always here with me when he wants to go out with his friends one night ok fine so be it go out and have fun that does not bother me the thing that bothers me is the fact that he has lied to me and I cant trust what he is doing out there when he is out. He gets so drunk he does not remember the next day and I know this because I have seen it numerous times.. He is very nice to me when sober we are like a couple should be but I do question him and he does not like that very much. I dont know what to do anymore I know we have not been together that long but when he is sober or if he is even acting he is the type of person I have been looking for but I dont know if I should trust that or not I dont know if I go by how he treats me when he is sober or how he treats me when he is drunk and rude to me? I do know that questioning someone can get annoying but it is something that I cannot help I have talk to him about this over and over and he tells me it was a small lie he would never cheat or do anything to hurt me but Im not so sure I believe that and the reason I am coming here is because im sure someone else has been here in this situation and can help me?? I dont want to break up with him because he is a good person but I dont want to feel like I do inside and keep acting the way I am towards him when he wants to go out with his friends and have a good time. He also told me the truth about his past when we first met and it has alot to do with that as well I am thinking. He told me that he use to sleep around and leave girls not call them but it's diff with me. He told me he was hurt then and that's what helped him. What would you do if you were in this situation can someone help me out please or give me there advice or opinions ??I am so stuck and unsure of what I should do thanks so much in advance

The thing is I want to be with him because he does treat me very well so I need to stop doing what i'm doing and that's why I came here for opinions and advice to stop. He tells me all the time that I need to put the past behind me and that's exactly what I need to do going about doing it is hard because since it has been so long since we have broken up im over him and im over the fact we are not together but at times I cannot get over what he did to me and that is because I didn't deserve it but noW I understand where u all are coming from. I have completely cut my ex off and he still contacts me every cpl months using the line im just checking in but I could care less about that. I just need to stop being mean and taking something that happened to me in the past out on someone who has done nothing wrong

Dn that is probably exactly what im doing because I dont want to be hurt and be treated bad again I will do it before he even gets the chance he tells me over and over that I need to trust him and that he is not like anyone I have been with so he wont do those thing's to me and so far he has not done anything to me that is out of line or disrespectful... I will just try to figure out a way I can stop doing it if he is doing nothing wrong but I dont know how because I guess I am using it so I dont get hurt thanks so much for your help again and I appreciate it

To be completely honest I do sometimes to him what my ex did to me and I dont understand why

Hello DN! Thanks for all that you have helped me with over the years Well I am just snappy with him and sometimes distant or sometimes he tells me I am pushing him away and I dont mean to do that because I dont want to push him away. I just get mean towards him sometimes like he has done something wrong but he has not done anything to me.. Never intentionally to hurt him but out of nowhere sometimes this happens and I dont even understand why is that normal? Why would I be doing that?

I have been with my boyfriend now for 4-5 months and I need some advice on this relationship! He treats me very well he does everything he can for me and sometimes we have arguments or disagreements on things but move passed them quickly... I was in a bad relationship before him and have been away from that 2 years the problem that I have with this relationship is the way that I act towards my boyfriend. He treats me good and I treat him poorly and why I do it I have no idea mabe it's to guard my heart from being hurt or broken or to show him I am not putting up with nothing bad towards me even though there is nothing that he does that is bad it's all good things the thing is my relationship before I was a doormat I was sweet and kind to my ex did everything I could for him to make sure he was happy and now I am the total oppisite and I dont understand why? Now my boyfriend now takes me being mean towards him sometimes and gets over it and deals with it like I did with my ex and I know how bad it hurt me and I do not want to hurt him and honestly do want to be with him but cant figure out why I am treating him this way if he is right for me? Can someone please give me there opinions I am confused by this and mabe someone who has been through this or is going through this can help me out some and let me know what I can do or mabe why I would be doing this to him He opens doors for me takes me out to eat plays with my hair tells me he cares for me and also tells me he loves me he is a year younger then me but all of the things he does for me is all that I ever wanted and now that I have that I treat him poorly and that can risk me losing him oneday? Can someone please help me if u can understand this thankyou so much in advance

Hello I would like to get the opinions of others on love.. How long does it take for someone to love another? I have been there before and I have been through the ups and downs and have posted many on this forum about the things I have been and went through.. Now I am just curious from diff peoples points how long does it take for someone to fall in love? Say you meet someone u have been through very rough times in your life and after 1 month they say they are in love with you? Could that be true or is it to soon to say? I know that when you are in love you know because you can feel it that it's hard to describe and put into words but u can just feel it..Now do some of you think that someone in the 20's is to young to be in love or to soon to be in love? I have met someone in my life that treats me very well I know that everyone tells me that in the beginning it's always great which it has always been that way and years later it goes down hill but I have not had the feeling that person is going to change for the worse at all..I feel very good when I am with him and he does everything he can to make me happy and put a smile on my face what scares me is that I am young and so is he we are in our 20's and if it's true that we are to young to be in love then why risk the change of hurting you or someone else if that is true? I have been in relationships before where the beginning is just like this nothing but happiness and smiles and always wanting to be together and I know sometimes you have to take that change to see where you end up but I just wanted some opinions from others on how they feel about it. I have been dating him for about 2 months now and it has been nothing but good so far we do everything together we are always around one another and he treats me very well but the fact of the matter is I dont want to hurt him or him hurt me because we are young I have been through alot and already know what I want and have been looking for this someone to treat me right accept me for me and love me for who I am and he does all of this! So can someone please give me there advice or points on this situation

I'm not I was really worried over nothing just for the fact that I was late! I am so glad that I finally know thankyou for your time and help everyone who posted

Well I am late and this month is almost up so it's worrying me alot I know the best thing to do would be get a test and im so afraid to find out what it may be so im going to go get one tomorrow....I know if I am it would change everything and it scares me but if it is that I am then I am def going to do what I have to do just a little afraid being that this would be my first

Thankyou so much for your help! I am just so confused at this point because if I am it would be my first and def would change my whole life

Yeah that's the thing we have talked about it and we do use protection but twice the condom broke... Now we have discussed if I am or if I was not pg and He said if he was a girl he would get an abortion well I dont believe in getting one and told him my thoughts on that and he told me to do whatever I wanted to do that it was my decision that he would get three jobs if he had to and he would do what he is supose to do for the baby which he told me he wouldn't go out drinking that he would like for me to quit smoking cigs and yes that is a great idea and that is something that I would do... But what worries me is the fact that he looked at me the night before last and told me he knew I was that he could feel it and that is what he feels and I told him no because we are unsure yet that we have not had a test to see and he told me he can feel it inside that I am... That kind of scared me a bit but either way I am having an ituition that is telling me I am as well but im blocking that feeling out I feel inside that its very possible I am because i'm late yet im scared and I dont want to face the fact that I could be if u can understand that..

That's the thing I have been tired alot lately but I dont know if it's in the mind or I really am and The guy that I am dating told me that his intuition is that I am and I said we dont know that yet and he said I know that you are thing is the next night he threw up and I said why are you getting sick he said i have no idea and I think he is more stressed and worried about it then me.... It's normal to be nervous and worried but I am not fully worried because I have yet to find out if I am... I just know that I have not started there is 5 days left in this month and periodically I get a sharp cramp or pain in my stomach and it may be to soon to get symptoms or I may be just late either way it's good to be cautious and learn about these thing's anyway if you are sexually active What worries me is the fact that there is only 5 days left in this month and every month since I have started I go 7 days I dont feel natious or anything but do feel like im tired more often is there anything else that I can look for?

That's the thing I am so nervous to take and find out that I really am and I dont want to get nervous if I am and it's complicating hehe I am a little nervous right now thinking about how there is only 5 days left in this month and I have yet to even start or feel like i'm going to and thankyou for responding Is there anything else I should look for? Is it very possible that I am when there is not even a week left in this month?

Yes I have a few questions about pregnancy not saying that I am or that I am not but it does not hurt to find these thing's out just in case from people who know that have had kids or mabe they are pregnant! I know one of the first signs of pregnancy are a missed or late period well I have yet to have mine this month and there is 5 days left in this month and yes I am getting a little worried! What signs can I look for from here on out that could point me to letting me know that I may be PG? I know some of you would say take a test but truth is it could be to soon either way and I am a little nervous If you are pregnant or have children how long does it take for you to actually know it and what feelings come along with that? I dont know if I am or not but im being cautious just because I have yet to start and this month is almost up. What are some early prenancy signs and how do you feel? Now if I am it's not because I played around and did not use protection I used protection but a few times the condom broke and that makes me a bit nervous. I have never had a child but would like to know as much as I can just in case and if I am I would def keep the baby because I do not believe in abortions but even if im not atleast I will know certain things in case one day it actually does happy if I am I will do the right thing So can someone or anyone please help me out and give me some advice pointers and answers to what I can do what signs I would have and how to go about dealing with this thankyou so much

The games you play and the hearts that you break, Is one less person that is going to be there to take. The times you have lied to me and the tears I have cried, Is moving me forward now to not let you back inside. The rude remarks and the way you treated me so bad, All leads up to happiness oneday after being so sad. The things you do when you come in and out of my life, All leads up to me making a decision and ending this strife. The times I have told you act like a man and grow up, Everyday leads more and more to an overfilled cup. It's time for me to move past this because you are not good, Not for me not for yourself even though I care that you should. I am spreading my wings so far apart to fly and be free, All the pain I have been through you will oneday look back and see. All the times I cared to much and never got it in return, Is one more reason that this is the end and I am letting it burn. Goodbye

thankyou all for your help yes since it has been 5 years I am use to it and have been taking it all that time but realize it's not right and I do deserve the best for me not someone who does this to me and I cannot stand the fact that I let it happen but u all are very right and appreciate your help. He is no good for me not even when we were together he never treated me how I was supose to be treated and still does not so NO he does not deserve me or all of the love and devotion I have given him I am going to let his new girl that he has been with for a year now deal with it not that this is right to say but she will realize too...He is someone who plays mind games messes breaks hearts and because he does not know what he wants and is miserable he will want me miserable to because misery needs company but I am done with that!!! I I have been on this site for awhile now and also realize that in the beginning of my break up I kept posting and posting the same thing over and over for a year just to get someone to type what I wanted to see but it never worked out I think this site is great to help with feelings and the way to go about a situation but u are not always going to get what u want! I thankyou all very much for taking time to read and reply to this... He is a loser and I cant stand it he cannot keep doing this to me and I am not going to let him anymore! I have killed him with kindness one to many times and I have played his game too throughout this whole thing but I am done the wanting him back the missing him the dealing with his bs and I am ready to start new!!!!