SINCE 1999 I'VE HAD MY SHARES OF UPS AND DOWNS WITH THE MOTHER OF MY SON. WE HAVE BEEN separateD FOR FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW. THROUGH OUT THIS TIME I HAVE DATED BUT FIND THAT I CAN NOT FIND A LOVE THAT IS = OR GREATER TO THE LOVE I SHARED WITH THE MOTHER OF MY SON. I WAS YOUNG AND LIKE I'VE TOLD HER YOUR NOT AT 18 WHO YOU ARE AT 23. WE WERE BOTH LOST INTO DRUGS ETC.. BOTTOM LINE IS SHE IS NOW WITH A 19 YEAR OLD KID WHO'S A BUM. HAS NO DIRECTION OR GOALS IN LIFE. THEY BEEN TOGETHER FOR JUST ABOUT THE SAME TIME WE'VE BEEN separateD THERE ARE TIMES THAT I FEEL LIKE FLYING OUT THERE JUST TO KICK HIS YOU NO WHAT BUT I HOLD BACK BECAUSE I HAVE MY OTHER SON WHO LIVES WITH ME TO THINK ABOUT. I STILL LOVE HER MORE NOW THEN EVER DUE TO OUR SEPERATION IT GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE. NOW THAT I KNOW IT I WISH I NEVER FOUND OUT BECAUSE EVERY PASSING DAY ITS KILLING ME THAT I WILL NEVER AGAIN NO HER TOUCH, SMELL, KISS OR BE ABLE TO LOOK INTO HER EYES AND TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER. FAMOUS QUOTE HAD I KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. BUT MAN THIS TAKING A TOLL ON ME. SHE'S 28 AND SHE'S HAPPY. HERE I AM I'VE CHANGED MY LIFE COMPLETELY I AM NOTHING LIKE I ONCE WAS WOMAN FLOCK TO ME BUT YET NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY TO FAKE HAPPINESS FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING OTHERS A CHANCE AND MYSELF A CHANCE I CANNOT BE. I WANT TO BE. I WANT TO FALL CRAZY IN LOVE. BUT I DONT THINK THATS POSSIBLE FOR ME ANYMORE. IS IT TRUE YOU ONLY FALL IN LOVE ONCE? I'M AFRAID CAUSE I NO THE ONLY THATS HELPED KEEP ME TOGETHER IS MY SON, THE ONE THAT LIVES WITH ME OTHER WISE THERES NO TELLING WHAT I WOULD HAVE MOST LIKELY DONE TO MYSELF BY NOW. IS THERE EVEN A POSSIBILITY THAT WE MAY END UP TOGETHER? I KNOW YOUR NOT PSYCHICS IN HERE BUT I CAN SURE USE YOUR INPUT. OR AM I JUST PERMANENTLY DAMAGED FOR ANY WOMAN?