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Everything posted by Hollyj

  1. We have all advised you of the same way, and I know that you got similar advice from at least one other site. If you have no intention of leaving-but only making excuses-what are you seeking from us?
  2. He can't collect if he kills you. Did he get one on himself?
  3. You are right, my friend. I don't think she wants reality. I don't know that I believe that she reached out to the relevant agencies given by posters, as they would have given her options for her living situation. When there is a will, there is a way.
  4. You don't have anyone? What would you do if he were beating you? Where would you go? Does your elder son work? Start looking for a place to live. So many excuses. Stay with him, but get your innocent kids out.
  5. I agree. This is a waste of time. She does not want to change her situation or do what is best for her kids.
  6. Then leave! Go to a family member.
  7. Are you an adult? How can he not allow it? Why can't you get away, does he chain you down? You have already made your decision to sacrifice your kids for this creep. Good luck.
  8. C'mon. His lying is pathological. What are you thinking! Stop using his childhood as an excuse. If you take him back, it is on you. Doesn't he pay you rent? He should be doing more than sharing with bills. He should be sharing with utilities and food.
  9. I would be concerned about the lying. Good riddance! Tell him to get his sh*t out!
  10. You do not love her. You knew of her past and so I am confused why you would want a relationship? This is about you and your own insecurities and self loathing. Do her a favor and break up, she deserves some who does not feel "disgust, anger, and jealousy."
  11. I would forget about the money. I am kind of confused why you wanted to reconnect-even with Covid-as the guy sounds like an ass?
  12. You have always put your own needs above your kids. "I love them more than anything on this planet!!" Nothing could be more untrue than this statement.
  13. If you did you would have left him long ago. Your actions clearly do not reflect this, and your children know this. He does not take responsibility, He is blaming you. He thinks his abuse is okay. So what if he is going to therapy, he does not take responsibility. What are you not getting. He is an abuser. What would you do if he walked out or died? Where would you go? Your excuses are not going far. Do what is best for your kids. Give the father full custody.
  14. Yeah, let's see how long that lasts. It is only to appease. If he were serious, he would NOT be blaming her and would have done it long ago. He would take full responsibility. This guy will never change, as he is an abuser.
  15. I would not want someone to provide dessert unless I had asked. She has probably already planned for that, and she would feel obligated to serve it over her own. If I want someone to bring a food item, I always ask, otherwise it throws off my meal.
  16. I'm not a chocolate person. Also, who knows if she likes white, milk, or dark. I know that I am in the minority with the chocolate, but I would prefer other things. I don't understand why there is a negative on the wine, as she is serving wine. It doesn't mean they will drink it, she may use it at another time. I would not assume that someone was trying to get lucky by bringing a bottle of wine.
  17. So many are unable to have children, yet yours are disposable. I don't have any more words for your complete disregard for your children's well being. So selfish.
  18. This is a good moment. Look for people with similar interests and values.
  19. Good Lord. Your poor children. You are choosing someone who has been physically and emotionally abusing you for years, over your own kids. Shameful. He has shown you over and over who he is, yet you are going to continue. Your kids will never forgive you for this. When this relationship does finally end, you will have no one. Your choices are a form of abuse towards your kids. As we all said before, what they are witnessing has scarred them for life. They should be with their father. Your kids have been abused by this whole situation, it just doesn't have to be physical. And honestly, I believe you would stay even if he were harming them physically. You don't care.
  20. If the friendship is one-sided or you feel you are becoming someone's free therapist, it is not healthy. Is the relationship reciprocal? There is nothing wrong with saying no.
  21. There weren't any issues before the trip? it seems that you may be leaving some things out and that is what I got from your letter.
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