annalise23

I am going through a break up and doing well. But yesterday I found out my dad is having an affair. He has been married to my mum for 26 years and this will just crush her. Its so complicated. My dad and me live in the usa, my mum and younger sis live in UK. This is because my dad has a business here and wanted to retire. My sister is still in college. My mum comes over every 4 weeks or so. She would be crushed if she knew. And she does suspect something is wrong. Last night she thought she saw him emailing someone, and he clicked off and denied it. It caused a huge row and he called her paranoid. He has become very friendly with another woman. And when they were fighting, I managed to get into his account (he writes his passwords down, pretty stupid!!) and read all the emails. As my mum is always around it is hard for me to speak to my dad about it. I confronted him and told him I knew and he quickly got scared and said dont say anything. But how can I not?? My mum has been over for 1 week and has been upset daily. They are always arguing and she is really struggling with it all. They have gone out now, but I really dont know what to do. The last email he sent this ***** was 'she knows its all going wrong. time for a few home truths' My mum goes home on friday. I am so upset. I just dont know what to do. And as a result, its making me want to turn back to my ex for comfort becasue i feel so alone right now

So you have a 2 hour conversation where you say 'things can be worked on' and he basically complains about you.... Re read what you have posted. This guy does not deserve you!!

I just love re reading what we wrote. Whenever feeling a little weak, it bolts me right back into strong! Reminding oursellves why we did it is really goo dfor us

Hey Luv So are you finished for good or you going to possibly try and work it out? Im ok though thanks, getting there! Had a happy afternoon, actually feel quite positive!!

Hey Luv At least you have talked it out and know some of the reasons for his behaviour. Glad to see you are staying strong! Keep it up!

If you are really concerned then yes take one anyway. At least it will finally give you an answer instead of worrying. Spotting is a good sign.

I just hope she is prepared for a rocky time. If it didnt work first time round, chances are it wont again. Its just the pain of the break up makes you forget the reasons why you broke up in the first place. Luckily for me, the hearts and flowers have stopped, as they really messed my head up! I hope he respects it. so far 24 hrs since i asked him to leave me alone. Otherwise I will be forced to switch my phone off and stop checking my email. I think having people there to remind you that you broke up for a reason, and remind you why and the bad things is soooo helpful. If I didn't I think i would have caved and gone back. Just to repeat in 1 month. Be careful imthatgirl. Take it slow and expect it to be good for now, but slowly the old routine may kick in. As much as you don't want to hear or believe it

Well im glad you got talk it through! Every person is different and if you feel that you want to try again, do it. Its your life and your decision. You don't want to regret anything. I hope it works out, keep me posted! Im still staying strong, im slowly getting there!

Ah well you got to do whats best. Just go in with your eyes open. I hope it works out for you!

Hey! Im doing ok, taking it slow. No more contact anyway I pretty much said leave me alone for at least a week as it was draining me to hear his declarations of love! At least in a week I will be stronger, more able to cope better with what he is saying. But ultimately not going back. Just giving myself time to breathe! Whats been going on with you?!

But where have luv and imthat gone? Not back I hope?!

you need to be strong ashan4u, you will be ok. Really try and keep nc as hard as it is. Having nc so far has not worked. It is harder to move on if you are still holding on to the past But I know it can be difficult.

Brilliant idea! I am going to start getting up earlier and going to the gym, exercise helps take your mind off it.

Ashanu4u im sorry for how you feel, and having contact with your ex can't help, especially knowing whats happening at the moment. his dates. Perhaps you really need to stop contact as hard as it is. It is difficult and i do feel for you. big hug

I ended it last wednesday. The reason for the break up is mainly due to arguments. And a few days ago he told me that his ex really hurt him,and it made him scared it would happen again. What makes it hard is he has been trying to work things out with us. I have had flowers, cards, emails/texts. He even said he would try counceling. All these things are wonderful and most people would be jumping for joy. It actually makes me feel worse. I cant go back. I have given it so many chances, giving it 'one more go' wil not change. Maybe at first but in a few weeks when we are settled again, the same things would happen. I could ever talk to him without him getting defensive. I have trust issues with him (he has lied a lot) and i never spoke about it. It got too much and i tried to talk with him last week, but as i predicted he blew up and it turned into a huge mess. He got so mad. Said it was my problem. Now he has changed his tune. But its always times like this he admits to the issues and never when it matters. I have been tiring of the fights for a few weeks now. But its so hard becasue i can see this massive effort he is making. But as much as i want to believe it will be different. It wont. WHat about you, ashan4u. Big hug to you!

I just miss him more in the mornings. Its like a bolt evey time i wake up. I forget about the progress made during the previous day. Im so sick of the feeling in my stomach!

I too go to bed thinking why cant i feel like this when i wake up!! I will try the banana in the morning, even though the thought of eating is not there for me! Thanks superior 147 i will drop you a pm

I am not sure why mornings are worse. I just lie there and think of the good times and it makes me then it takes me a while to snap out of it and then usually im ok for the day (apart from the odd moment) I just cant see an end to this pain!!

When do people find themselves at the lowest? Its always when I wake up. I feel sick and sad. As the day goes on I pick up a little. But mornings....

It is very normal to experience ups and downs. One minute I can be ok, the next in tears, the next angry... Its an emotional rollercoaster. Like macgyver said it will get better with time

Hey imthatgirl! How are you doing? Are you trying to work things out? Good to see you back here

Gosh I am experiencing the miss him stage what happened to imthatgirl??

Have you taken a pregnancy test? If you are anxious it could be a reason you are late. Plus you could be worrying for nothing. At least if you know for sure, you can make a decision.

Have a nice day luv, keeping busy and being around family helps! you will be ok, we both will. Talk to you later luv

Oh big hug!! You will miss him. Its awful. Feels like a knife in your chest. All I can say is I know how you feel. Im experiencing it. And its 1000000 times harder when he is doing/saying all these things. 'One more chance' is all i keep thinking. But then the last 5 days were for nothing. And I will go through it again once we are back into routine and he knows he has me back. We must sound like right men bashers or something! But its good to get out your feelings. Try and keep busy and occupied. I am now. Its the only way I will stay sane!