annalise23

Koopa trouper, its good you have your family to turn too, luckily i have that too. Its certainly a real help! Sometimes a good cry can really help! Of course your ex will be thinking of you, its natural. You will start to move on slowly, keep busy and as they say time is a healer! It isn't easy and the pain you go through, I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy! But keep your chin up, talk to your mom and post on here whenever you are feeling sad. It really does help!!

Im not opening up anymore emails now. I have never in my life felt so upset and angry, im physically shaking. I am not a nasty person, i am calm i am all for a quiet life. I am gobsmacked at what he is saying. The last thing i read but logging out was how he was going to go to a nightclub to 'fu**' other girls. Its not upsetting me, its making me mad and realise what a loser he is. I guess he thinks he is hurting me.

Ok I posted this on another thread but im so angry and upset NC was broken today (by him) I foolishly answered the phone. Started off ok, he said his bit, i listened. When i was saying my bit, he blew up got really angry, hung up now i am getting nasty emails, hurtful and I really dont see how it went from him saying 'i love you, want you back' to 'i hate your f****** guts' I just did nothing to deserve that but explain how i felt, in a calm way. He has a tendency to not handle criticism well so i was always careful when upset to explain why, for fear of him blowing up and getting defensive. Fat lot of good it did me tonight. Still blew up even with me nicely trying to put how bad i felt this week. ARghhhh

Wait, now im getting more nasty emails. Should i respond? They are making me so angry. He is being so hurtful. I actually cant believe 5 mins ago he was saying i was the love of his life! Now 'he hates my guts'

Hi again well, here goes. He got in touch with me, basically called me, i answered. He got to say how he felt and i listened. When it was my turn, he interrupted me and finally lost it, hung up and sent nasty emails. I was doing so well. I even thought it was the right thing. Now it hurts bad but i guess tomorrow i hope i will be mad at him for getting in touch just to not respect anything i say. He sent me an email saying 'i promise' and loads of nice things added to it. Then at the bottom he said 'NOW F*** IT IM DONE' I replied saying you broke your promise. I guess that was the final straw

I suppose it depends on the circumstances, but if you really want to move on with your life and get over the other person, I dont think having contact will help at all. I broke NC today and i am paying for it now. But you should do what you feel is best. If you break NC and you don't like the response, remember for next time!

After receiving plenty of emails and texts, i caved and replied. Now i feel back to square one and replying got me nowhere but more confused and more pain! He says he knows its too late for him to make up with me, but loves me etc... If he truly felt this way then he would be trying his hardest to win me back, not texting me whimpy messages saying he wants me but has not got the balls to do anything about it actions speak louder than words. I have learned the hard way, no matter how mean you feel for not responding DON'T DO IT!! You only end up suffering

It's day 2 for me (only just seen this thread) He has text me and so far i have resisted getting back in touch. Its hard though, especially when reading 'i miss you' Just trying to stay strong and keep busy!!

Thanks, I have not contacted him, as I really don't know what to say to his 'i miss you' Im thinking he is unsure what he is doing, and fear of me moving on will make him contact me, leave me little 'i love you and miss you' messages but no real consise statements. Time will tell. Its hard, i am doing better, I did go out last night and had a really good time! I went to this dance class and had a laugh, then went out with a friend for a few drinks and girlie chat. Did me the world of good! Just keeping busy now... Thanks for your input, and I will keep you updated if he gets in touch!

Ok he text me today saying i know i shouldnt be saying this but i miss you' im doing the right thing not replying to that? I was a mess this morning, but im doing better as the day got on. Im worried im going to keep hearing off him. I believe in no contact if a relationship ended.

Thank you honeyspur You hit the nail on the head with apprehensive about change. I live in the US now after moving from the uk. within the first month i met my boyfriend. I dont know a single person but him here (and his friends). I am an independent person, i went travelling round the world alone and know i dont need to rely on someone. But if i am totally honest with myself, i think half my upset it because i feel alone again. I have my family and know i need to get out and make some friends. what i want is to be happy with him, but i dont think thats possible. he has made it clear he wants to be with me but needs to walk away, and if i was to fight for us, and we got back together, it would all be on his terms, i would have to accept the way he is. i cant tell you how much your words have helped. Thank you it has been much aappreciated.

So if you think he has low self esteem and could feel that he loves me, do you think i should just walk away like he is saying. Or put up more of a fight?

I just dont understand how he can say, i love you more than anything, i do want to be with you' but 'i think i should walk away' Him saying he feels that way about me, but is willing to walk away is hurting me. Is he just saying that to be nice, he thinks its what i want to hear? I would rather have him say i just dont love you. thanks for your reply, i think i just need to get up and do somethingpositive today and not wallow. i just cant help but think in a few days what if he gets in touch to work it out or something?

Ok Last night we ended up texting and well at least i got a few answers. after i emailed him, i never got a reply. Then late last night he text me 'sweet dreams'. i was a bit surprised and wasnt sure if he was being sarcastic. i sent back sweet dreams? he said just wishing you good night sorry for bothering so i said thanks, but i didnt expect it as he never replied to my email. he said he didnt think he needed too, in my email i told him lots of positive things about himself, and also said i was confused with what we were doing. should i move on or are we going to work on it? he text back saying all he remembers from my email is me saying should i move on i text back saying ' i just want to know what to do, how to deal with this. move on or not. did you not read the nice stuff i sent?' he said yes, i will get to the point. i love you more than anything. i do want to be with you! i dont think i can make you happy. i should never have treated you that way.so i think its better if i walk away. IM SORRY!! i said thank you for clearing it up.i wanted to know how you felt for sure. i wanted to offer you a loving, committed relationship, i know the past has been hard and i wanted to support you and be there for you, bring you into my world of love and happinness.you dont have to apologize. i was happy with you but unfortunately i cant change your feelings on what you should do. you have to stop being negative, and only you can do that' he text back 'ok see ya' i have barely slept. at the time of texting i was ok. now i feel sick and cant sleep. I have never took something so hard before. im not sure what i shouldve done. part of me thinks he is testing me, wanting me to say its ok we can work it out. other part of me thinks he just wants a way out. he already said he would just get to the point if that was the case! arghhhhhhhhh why is it we only remember the good things in times like this?! sorry for my rant but im tired and upset.

Thank you for your reply. I have to say it has made me feel better, had a tough day. Im taking it quite hard. I did email him, just to see where we are at as one minute he is turning me away, the next he is texting me saying he loves me and he just wants to do what is best by me. Not knowing is really messing with my head, I know email was probably the wrong way to go about it, but im so confused and upset. If i knew where i stood then i could probably attempt to move on, but not knowing is worse. thanks again!

Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. Recently we have argued a lot! This last weekend was a huge mess, had huge rows where he said nasty things to me that had no relevance to the argument and basically he was just picking fights. Since then we met up and basically he told he he thinks he has been treating me like an * * * hole and that if he heard his mate had been the way he has, he would call him an * * * hole. He says he wants me to happy and that he has issues. He isnt sure he can change as he has said twice now he will stop it. The thing is he got really upset (and he NEVER shows his emotions, he acts all macho) Then he says he thinks he is making the wrong choice and that he loves me! This has been eating away at me now since saturday Im confused. Why would someone say they think you deserve better than them, and not even fight for you if they love you? He also mentioned that after his ex girlfriend he isnt sure why he should bother (they split about 2 months before i got with him) now i also think he has some unresolved feelings there. when i said this he said trust me its not about her. i wont bother you anymore' arghhhh!! This really hurts and i really want it not too. I think not knowing if im coming or going isnt helping