annalise23

It is the lowest point when you feel sad and depressed. But try and keep busy and it will get easier! Someone once told me you have to fully grieve before you can ove on. Thats what you are doing when you are sad. Grieving the loss of the relationship. But it just takes time. Try and get out and doing something fun! It really will lift your spirits as much as you might not want to!!

Yes we need someone else to give us a kick up the *** to remind us of what we have put up with. These talks have certainly helped me, helped me to feel less guilty. I sometimes start thinking its me! its all my fault! But its not. And reading your stories helps me to see that! I just cant wait til the pain goes away when i think about him. Again, I really cant understand why i miss him. When he wasnt a jerk he was lovely. but it was few and far between

Its like reverse psychology. They talk badly of themselves so we talk them up. I got all kind of lines i have lost count! I felt sorry for him. Its hard to hear the person you love talk about themselves in a bad way. So you defend them and forget that actually, what they are saying is very true!! FOOL FOOL FOOL that is me too!! I went through this 1 and a half month ago. I really wish I hadnt caved. I would be so over him. But this time I am stronger and put up with too much.

lol!!! It really helps to talk on here though! Especially with how similar we have all had it. And all been in the relationship a simiar amount of time!

I got that too!!!! One time he ended it saying 'im not good enough for you, you deserve better. if someone told me this story i would think i was a real jerk'!!! Then he would come back saying i cant live without you blah blah... and i believed it!! That 'why are you with me' annoyed me so much!!! What kind of response is that!!](*,) ](*,)

Yep I would even blame myself for trying to talk to him. I would think 'man i was being silly. i shouldnt have tried to talk to him about that, it was silly of me.' You can only take so much before you start sinking. The past few weeks i felt i was hitting my head against a brick wall. We really do have similar stories. And when we read each others its like 'what the hell is she doing with him' - so we must be right!!! I always made excuses for his behavior, no money, debt, stress, his life being brought up. It wouldnt change. And i think part of me felt sorry for him.

Everytime I spoke to mine about how i felt about the way he was being resulted in a similar way. I got the line 'then why are you with me' one time i said i dont know but im not anymore! he laughed. Days later we were back together. It is so that they cant handle the truth. I always approached calmly so not to get him on the defense. It was always after we broke up that he would admit he was wrong and had issues. But befor it got that far, he was right, i was wrong to even bring up my feelings. Im not some emotional girl I wasnt always on at him. Just when he did something terrible. Like lie!

Oh yeah. We used to text more than talk as well!! He ruined all the good holidays for me. NYE I ended up being stranded at 8pm with no plans. He was working at his club and i was going with him. But ended up having to spend nye with my parents. Valentines we had a huge row. He came and left a gift i bought him on my driveway. I didnt even get a card. Now im getting better! Really helps when i remember these crappy things!!! And i agree imthatgirl. I allowed this to happen. I should have stopped it a long time ago. I just felt I had to help him work through his issues. But I just cant.

Definitely!! I really cant understand why I stayed and stayed and trusted him over and over. Just to be let down repeatedly. I have never been that way! Im lucky that it was 6 months and not years! Mine was perfect at the start, i mean PERFECT. I really thought he was the one. Within one month he started showing his true colors. But i was already hooked and thought i could 'save him' or something. He has had a tough life and admits he acts wrong. But he cant change. And i thought i could help. But I couldnt. Not unless I am willing to never ever say how i feel and always let him have his way.

6 months for me. but with all the breakups we had and days of not talkking probably 1 week!!

I think it helps when we are angry at them, stops us thinking of the good things! I know when im in the angry stage it helps me! I hope there are better guys out there! Need to have some hope!

I ate soooo much chocolate last night! I think we are entitled to it after all this crap!!

Oh! Well he really does know how to mess you about! Like his name mr jerkelton!!! How long were you all in your relationship?

I bet these guys are not writing away about their problems and worries. In fact they probably think everything will be ok and we will get back with them eventually! I would love to see what he is thinking.

You have to do whats best for you luv. If you dont go and he starts ringing, turn off your phone. Dont just go to avoid that.

Definitely find something else to do!! If you are not ready 100% to see him without crying or even if you have feeling left, it probably wont do you any good! Imthatgirl, if you dont go he will most definitely wonder why and it will worry him than you are moving on without him. Avoid like the plague til you are strong enough to face him Where is everyone from anyway? I am in Orlando florida

Just be careful if you go, dont let him ruin your night or make you take steps back in terms of getting over him!

If you see him will it make you go back to square one? Can you not go out somwhere else? If you are not seen there, it wil make him wonder why

Hello Luv!! Glad to hear you are not back with him!! Glad your hot water is working, one less thing to worry about! Im trying to forget the good times for now, too painful. Few and far between but my head keeps thinking about them. I feel like crap too. But its early stages and we have all gone through heartache before and come out ok!! chin up and lets keep each other strong!

Well after hoping I would not cry today, just had a mini cry with my mum. Feel a bit better. Mornings are always bad. once 12 oclock hits I will be ok!! I just miss him. But then I ask what I miss, and its hard to answer which is just weird! How can i miss him but not know what i miss!? How long ago did you break up imthatgirl? Its been since wed morning for me. It helps hearing how strong you sound it kind of rubs off on me too. He used to work alot, weekends he worked at a club so i never got to go out fri/sat nights. Even when we did spend time together alot of the time it was arguing, or me paying for EVERYTHING. Not that i mind but i have to keep telling myself what is has been like. Obviously there were good times. But i think more bad than good. I never felt completely comfortable with him. and i have to wonder why i let some stuff go. The lies, the chatting up other girls. I never even had a go at him. I dont know why. Fear of another argument, resulting in me hearing a list of nasty things. Thats no life. Note to me: If you go back for the quick fix, next week it will be the same. He cant change. He tried in Jan. And look. As much as he tells you he wants to change for you, he is 33 and it is almost impossible or him to stop this defensive streak. You cant talk to him. You have always thought that. And when you do talk about how you feel, he doesnt want to know and blames you!!

Thats not a bad idea actually, take his stuff to him. I think I will, maybe not today but I can feel this all getting easier slowly, so hopefully tomorrow I may be stronger to do it! We have hi jacked this thread! But at least its all about how similar and pathetic the exs are! I hope Luv is not making up with her ex!!

These guys really are all alike!! My ex deleted his myspace then created a new page (he deleted it as a token of love to me because whilst together he was chatting up other women!!) But then a week ago he suddenly wanted a new page to keep in touch with friends. (And no doubt all the women to flirt with again!!) Now im geting angry again! DO NOT REPLY TO HIS EMAILS!!! He sent you forward one which is so easy. He hasn't actualy said anything, but is trying to keep in your mind by reminding you he is still there. Although I did not log into myspace so the date hasnt changed, I checked my page. I have a quiz on there and he had completed it and was up on the leaderboard. Felt weird but its his way of saying 'im still here' without having to do any work. So glad you are on here imthatgirl. Feeling better already!! Lets keep up the good work and the second we think of replying to them, jump on here and write about it. We need NC!!! He has alot of stuff at my house, and luckily i know he is working all weekend. So if he asks to pick it up it wont be til at least monday.

So, after 2 months of suffering and turmoil due to his changes of mood and behaviour I had made up my mind and I rather finish this suffering, crossing the rest of the dessert, than going back and have to suffer the same again in a near future. Remember how you felt here! I too am in a similar situation, and it has been 3 days and is still raw. One minute I am ok, the next I am upset. Its an emotional rollercoaster!! Big hug to you!

sexysadie! I think a common theme here for us is that our ex would always come back AFTER the event with the apologies and charm. But its too late then. He fears he is losing you, so quickly backtracks, even though 1 hour before he could be saying nasty things. I find it quite odd!! It just annoys me that i did all these nice things for my man, I really did. I took him back adn said we would work together on his problems.I was just kidding myself this could happen. You cant change someone when they are set in their ways like that, as much as you want to. I know my ex really wants to change, but it would take some really hard work and i think he would always drift back to being defensive as that is all he has known. aegghhh i hate this. Fast forward a week please!!

Hey Well the morning is always worse for me. Had a good evening with a friend and managed to sleep all night. But right now im missing him again. But just cant be bothered crying about it which i suppose is good!! I dont how I would react if I got messages on myspace, I have not even logged on since we split because if i change my status to single, he would get spiteful. If I leave it at in a relationship, he will think i am not serious. So i cant win!!! I went to bed last night with the ' i am so right' attitude. Its not so strong today but hopefully as the day goes on ill feel stronger. Did you reply to his messgaes imthatgirl?